


Dragon Age Origins: Restart

by Angels767



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: DA - Freeform, DAO, Dragon Age - Freeform, F/M, Modern Girl in Thedas
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-11
Updated: 2018-10-19
Packaged: 2018-12-14 00:49:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 27
Words: 164,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11772003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angels767/pseuds/Angels767
Summary: Running into Alistair from Dragon Age was not something Atrina had expected when she went to the local festival in her town with her best friend Wanda. Neither was waking up to find herself as the main character of Origins.Aided by Wanda and with before hand knowledge of what happens, Atrina knows what she has to do. But what about when it's all over? Is it all a dream? If it isn't, will she still want to go home by the time the Landsmeet occurs? Neither Wanda nor Alistair are making the decisions before her easy.





	1. Prologue: A Festival, a Warden, & a Couple of Pictures

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfiction is based loosely on a dream I had awhile back. Some things in this will be written exactly how it happened in the game(s), but there is lots of original content and characters react differently depending on the circumstances. There will be points where it goes quickly through some parts as I don't want to bore anyone with the full details of the game. If it's written out I felt it was important to me and the main character(s).  
> Throughout the story there will be blood, gore, foal language at times (with the Maker's name used horribly in vain), and smut. You have been notified.  
> Most of the fanfiction is written out so I will be trying to update whenever I am able, but at the moment I do not have a set time that I will be updating. I am posting the Prologue and the first two chapters tonight. I feel they are ready to be seen and I hope you enjoy them. :D
> 
> Oh and I hereby promise to finish this fanfiction even if it kills me. So, unless I have died, this fanfiction will continue to be updated until I have decided that it is finally over.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When you see someone who looks like your favorite video game character and dressed like them, it's safe to assume they're just cosplaying...  
> Right?  
> Well, until they tell you to come with them back to their world and 'fix things'...

* * *

 

 

A young woman stepped outside of the local diner before taking a deep breath. Her heart felt heavy, but lighter than it had been earlier that week. The day was marked forever in her heart as the anniversary of her fiance's death.

She sighed as she looked up at the blue sky as the wind picked up a little. Only a few strands of hair blew in the wind, for her dark brown hair was in a loose side braid. Her brown eyes watched the people move around the stands in the center of the small town. A small smile appeared on her lips.

_Sam always hated coming here because of the heat... but he always came with me anyways..._

“Atriiinaa, hello?”

Atrina blinked at the hand that was waving in front of her face. Looking up she saw her best friend standing next to her.

Hazel green eyes held concern as the taller one of the two looked down at her. “Are you okay?”

Atrina shook her head before smiling. “Sorry, I'm fine, just lost in thought,” she said, receiving a look from black haired woman. Atrina sighed. “Wanda, I'm fine, or I will be. It's been two years... Sure, it still hurts, but it's gotten easier,” she told her with a sad smile.

Wanda hugged her around her petite shoulders. “I know.”

Because of the hug Atrina's smile held more happiness. “Come on, let's see if there's anything we can fawn over and wish we could buy,” she said before they headed to the first stand.

The stand held ornate swords and daggers. Atrina picked up a dagger that she particularly liked.

“If these weren't sharpened, you could totally use these for a rogue cosplay!” Wanda said, causing Atrina to laugh a little.

“Oh, that would be so fun!” she agreed before putting the dagger back down.

“We should totally do that one day, you can be an elf and I think I'll do a mage,” Wanda suggested, picturing how they would look. “Maybe do some Grey Warden armor?”

“I'd rather be my human rogue from the game,” Atrina stated as they stepped away from the stand. The women walked together towards the next one.

“That's only because you want to be queen with Alistair,” Wanda said as Atrina laughed once more.

“You know it! It's the safest one, it keeps Alistair safe and I get to be queen!” she said, grinning.

“Speaking of Dragon Age, have you played anymore?”

Atrina sighed sadly. “No... with the two jobs I have to work I only have time to eat and sleep... I'm lucky I got today off from both places.”

“Awe that sucks.”

“I've tried starting a new character though, but I have so much issue doing anything other than the female Cousland...” she stated as they moved to a stand that held jewelry.

“You want a happy ending, nothing wrong with that,” Wanda said, handling the sparkling jewelry.

“Yeah, and that was fine before, but now I want to really try and romance someone other than...” she trailed off when she suddenly felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. _What the..._ she thought before looking around. A strange feeling came over her, but at the same time it felt familiar.

“Alistair, I know,” Wanda said not noticing anything was off.

“Yeah...” Atrina mumbled as her brown eyes scanned the crowd before she started walking away.

“What do you think of-- Atrina?” Wanda turned to see her short best friend wasn't next to her anymore.

Atrina walked through the crowd not even sure what she was looking for. It wasn't until something blue and silver caught her eye that she stopped. Looking in the direction of what grabbed her attention she gaped at the man dressed in blue and silver armor. Her eyes widened when she recognized the armor.

 _Omg! He's dressed as a warrior Grey Warden!_ she thought, feeling excited. _He's just missing his sword and shield or two handed weapon._

She looked up at the man's head as his back was to her. He had dark golden blonde hair which made her think of Alistair. Suddenly he turned his head in her direction and his eyes landed on her.

Atrina tensed for being caught staring, but more so for the fact that the man actually looked similar to Alistair. _He's older... Inquisition maybe?_

He kept looking in her direction almost as if he had seen a ghost. Looking around her, she saw a few people glance at him, but they all ignored him for the most part. Turning her gaze back to him her eyes went wider when he started heading in her direction.

Without warning she suddenly took off back towards where she had last seen Wanda.

“Wait!” She heard him call, his voice sounding almost exactly like Alistair's, which somehow made her go faster.

 _How can he sound like him too? I_ know _that's not Steve Valentine!_

Because of her size she lost him easily in the crowd. When she had a moment to gather her bearings she rested against the side of a building.

“Atrina! There you are!” Wanda said the moment she saw her. “What's up?” she asked, coming up to her, wearing a new sparkling bracelet.

“There's a guy cosplaying as Alistair!” Atrina exclaimed her head popping up.

“What?! Where?” Wanda swerved around to look.

“Um, well, I kinda ran from him...” Atrina admitted as she suddenly felt stupid for doing so. _I think it was the look in his eyes that made me run..._ she thought, remembering how he looked at her when he saw her.

“Why? Wait, was he chasing you?”

Atrina blushed. “Um, well... I don't know... He just started coming towards me from across the street. I guess I got flustered and took off...”

“Well, come on, we need to find him again!” Wanda stated, taking her arm and pulling her back into the crowd. “I'm _not_ letting you miss a chance to get your picture taken with Alistair!”

Atrina laughed a little though her heart raced. “I look terrible though! I'm all sweaty and gross...”

“I bet he is too under all that armor,” Wanda commented, looking around for him. “Let's just ask, okay? What's he wearing?”

“Well, he's dressed as Grey Warden Alistair, so I think it's the blue and silver armor from Inquisition,” she told her.

“Ah! Found him,” Wanda said excitedly before leading Atrina to him.

Atrina had to wait for them to move further through the crowd to see him. The cosplayer was leaning against a building looking irritable.

“Um... he looks upse--”

“Grey Warden Alistair,” Wanda called when they were closer to him.

Atrina flinched a little. _Never mind..._

He looked over at Wanda in surprise as they came over to him. “Um... hello?”

Atrina took a deep breath before stepping out from behind Wanda. “Hi! I really like your armor,” she said smiling brightly while trying to get her heart to stop beating fast.

He openly stared down at her with almost a look of disbelief on his face. His copper eyes didn't leave her face at all making her feeling even more nervous. Blush crept up her cheeks as her heart skipped a beat.

“Sorry for running earlier. Though I don't even know if it was me you were coming towards,” she apologized not sure what else to say.

“Can she get a picture with you?” Wanda asked, deciding it was taking too long.

The Alistair cosplayer broke the staring contest to look at Wanda. “What?” he asked, looking confused and adorable.

 _He's too handsome..._ Atrina thought before laughing nervously. “Um, yeah, I was going to ask that, Wanda,” she said, giving her friend a sideways glare.

“Just wanted to help,” Wanda responded, grinning at her.

She rolled her eyes before looking back at the man who still looked confused. “Yeah, sorry, Alistair's my favorite character from the games,” Atrina said, hoping to throw off his confusion. “And you look amazingly like him! It's almost like you stepped out of the games.”

He still looked confused, then shook his head, seeming to remember something. “Right... uh, your favorite you said?” he asked a hint of a grin on his lips.

Smiling at him not seeming upset anymore, Atrina continued, “Who doesn't love him? Though I'm sure there are a few--”

“But they're all idiots,” Wanda cut her off, nodding her head.

“Well... then they're just jealous of my dashing looks,” 'Alistair' stated, causing Atrina to laugh. His smile grew a little.

“You even got his personality down! I love it!” she exclaimed, jumping a little. His smile fell a little, but she didn't notice. “So, you kept him as a Grey Warden in Origins instead of making him king?” she asked, feeling completely curious about the choices he made in his play through.

“Wait... you made m-- _him_ king?” he asked, his smile completely gone as a look of shock replaced it. “ _Why_?”

Atrina felt shocked by the sudden change in mood from him. “Um... because I thought he would be a great king, because I didn't want Anora to banish him, and I wanted my character to have a happy ending with him.” She exchanged looks with Wanda, who was just as confused.

“Wait, what? How is that a happy ending? You forced someone to be king when they didn't want to be! And what do you mean your character with him?”

“Because him and the Hero of Ferelden were married, my character was with him as queen.”

He looked even more confused now. “Pardon?”

She resisted rolling her eyes. “My character was a noble woman, you know, the Cousland? So she was able to marry him.”

His confusion didn't disappear. “You... weren't an elf?” he said almost sounding disappointed.

“Um... no? Obviously if my character became queen.” Atrina tilted her head to the side. “Why would you assume I played one of the elf origins?”

“Because you--uh... It just seems you would, I suppose? Maybe... Tabris?” he offered.

“Tabris? Oh the city elf? I tried that one, first one I started actually... but I found it to be the most depressing...” she answered, looking away. She had been reminded too much of her fiance and how they also never had their wedding. _Anything with weddings has done that for a long time... Now I could probably get away with playing it without issues..._

“Really?” Alistair asked, causing her to look back up at him. “Why?”

Her jaw tensed as she started feeling more upset. “Personal.”

“Besides,” Wanda piped up, trying to bring the tension back down. “She wouldn't have been able to be queen if she was an elf. No matter how much Alistair loved her character, when he becomes king, he breaks up with the Warden. Well, unless he's hardened, then she can become his mistress.”

He looked at Atrina in disbelief. “So... you were a human noble... and made Alistair king... just so you could possibly be _queen_?”

“Yes! Is that wrong? I wanted what I thought would be a happy ending for them, I didn't know the Hero would disappear later on to try and find a cure for the Calling! I thought she would rule _with him_ ,” she stated, becoming absolutely livid.

How dare he tell her that her play through was wrong?

Alistair looked like he had been punched in the gut. “Wait... she lived...?”

“Well, _yeah_! I took Morrigan's offer! I admit, I felt bad for making Alistair sleep with her--”

“You made him sleep with _Morrigan_?! What, did you let Loghain live too!”

“Of course not! Alistair killed the bastard!”

“Glad to hear you did something right...” he mumbled to himself, but she heard him.

“Really?!” Her voice rose as she felt anger towards the stranger. “Who are you to state what is right? I think, _Alistair_ , that you were hardened and I bet the Hero didn't return your feelings for her!”

He took a step towards her, anger flaring in his eyes. “Don't ever talk about things you clearly don't understand,” he spoke in a low voice, pain and anger behind every word. “I _died_ when she took that killing blow, leaving me alone in a world that lost all of its color.”

A shiver went through her as she stared up at him. His face was close to hers, giving her a chance to see every detail. The scars on his skin and the scars on his soul. Even though it was crazy, deep down, she started to believe he really was _Alistair_.

 _That's not possible..._ she thought while feeling her heart break a little when she could see how broken he was. “...I'm sorry...” she spoke softly as her eyes didn't leave his. “I've... lost someone important to me too...” She glanced away as she suddenly recalled the feelings she had when she found out Sam had died.

Looking back up at Alistair she saw his eyes studying her. It felt like he was searching for something.

Before she could say anything she felt an arm around her waist. Surprise filled her as Alistair stood up straight and pulled her up against him.

“You... said you wanted a picture?” he asked, looking at her with a soft gaze.

Atrina blushed as she wiggled a little in his grasp. “U-um, yes?”

He smiled at her reaction. “Hope this makes up for how I've acted towards you.”

“Oh, you'll have to take a lot of pictures with her then,” Wanda stated, reminding them that she was still there. “You made my bestie very upset, so I hope you like posing with her for as long as she wants.”

He chuckled. “I think I can handle that punishment.”

Atrina felt herself heat up more. “Uh, Wanda, use my phone,” she said, shifting to get her phone out of her jean pocket. Her back was against his chest as she got her phone out.

Handing it to Wanda she felt something rest on her head. “Um...” she trailed off when she felt another arm go around her waist.

“Oh! Hold that pose!” Wanda ordered before quickly taking a picture.

Atrina smiled for the picture as her heart beat fast. Why was he holding her like that?

“Got it! Take a look, Atrina,” Wanda said, coming over to her to show her the picture.

Alistair's arms tensed around her. “Your name is... Atrina?”

“Hm? Yes. I know, a weird sounding name. Grandmother was named 'Katrina', but while my mother wanted me named after her, she didn't like it, so she took off the 'k',” she explained as she took the phone from Wanda and looked at the picture.

It was as she thought, Alistair had rested his chin on her head. He looked absolutely happy and content with holding her, while she was smiling, her cheeks all pink.

Alistair peered down over her shoulder to look at the picture on the phone. “Maker, is that us?” he gasped, looking down at the phone in amazement, as if he had never seen a digital picture before.

“It is called a picture, Alistair,” she teased, figuring he was playing the part still.

“And what is the frame? How did it get an image of us?” He pointed to the phone, causing her to giggle a little.“Come on, now! Don't laugh, I'm serious,” he pouted, resting his chin on her shoulder.

“Say 'cheese'!” Wanda called, catching them off guard.

“Cheese? Where?” Alistair blurted out, looking around.

Atrina let out a laugh, her head going back against his chest. “Oh my gosh, you're perfect!” She grinned up at him.

He looked down at her with a sweet smile, successfully giving her butterflies. “Actually...” he began, leaning his head down closer to hers. “You're the perfect one,” he whispered, his eyes full of love.

Atrina's eyes widened as her mind tried to compute what was happening. “U-um... I think... I think pictures are done now. You can let me go now.”

His arms didn't budge. “I can't,” he said as his expression grew serious. “I'm sorry, but I can't let you go. You need to fix things.”

“What?”

He adjusted her in his arms to where she was pressed against his hip as he removed an arm from around her. He grabbed a vial out of his belt, colors swirling inside of it. Without hesitation he threw the bottle down at their feet.

“Hey! What're you doing?!” Wanda shouted suddenly, knocking Atrina out of her stupor.

She started to struggle in the man's arms. “Let me go!”

Wanda started beating Alistair where she could. “You drop her right now!”

“I can't! I need her to save Ferelden,” he shouted back, pushing Wanda away.

“You're insane!” Wanda shouted, running back over to them.

A bright light started to rise at their feet where the vial had been thrown, causing Wanda to pause. “What the hell?”

“Come on, come on...” Alistair mumbled as the petite woman kept struggling. “Maker's beard, woman! Will you stop struggling?”

“No!” Atrina answered as the light got brighter, almost consuming them. Suddenly she felt a strange pull in her gut. “Wanda!”

“Damn it, Morrigan, you told me it would be quick,” he complained before whispering to Atrina. “I'm sorry... but we need you, _I_ need you.”

Atrina turned to him at his words. “What? Y-you don't even know me!”

“I know you better than you think,” he said before he started glowing. “Don't you dare die on me this time.”

 _This time?_ she thought before he suddenly kissed her lips.

The kiss was deep, full of passion and a want that she didn't understand.

Alistair suddenly pulled away with a shout. “Ow! Stop hitting me!”

Wanda grabbed Atrina's wrist, joining the two in the light. “Not until you let her go, you jerk!” she ordered, smacking him with her heavy purse.

Before anyone could answer, the light fully engulfed them to where Atrina couldn't see either Wanda or Alistair. Warmth filled her from her core, growing hotter and hotter.

Lights of colors filled her vision and soon she passed out, her mind not being able to handle what she was seeing.

 


	2. At the Very Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age Origins... who wouldn't love to find themselves waking up in one of the origin prologues for the game?  
> Until they remember the death that goes along with it...

* * *

 

Atrina sat in front of the vanity, her heart racing at the image before her. She was in the gown of her dreams, all white with just enough sparkle that she looked like she was glowing.

Wanda stood behind her, placing the finishing touches on her. “You look gorgeous, Atrina... I can't believe it's finally here!”

“I know... we've been planning this for so long... I feel like I'm dreaming.” Atrina felt tears start to hit the corner of her eyes. Grabbing a tissue, she dabbed her eyes lightly, trying not to mess up her makeup. “Gah! I can't cry yet! I haven't even made it to the altar!”

Wanda giggled. “Oh, I made a bet with the others that he's going to be balling when he sees you walking towards him.”

Atrina blushed before she giggled. “That's horrible! What if you're wrong?”

Wanda gave her a look. “Do you even know the guy? He cried when you said yes!”

“Of course I know him! I wouldn't be marrying him if I didn't,” she exclaimed before an excited squeal left her. “I'm getting married!”

Wanda laughed a little as she pulled out her phone. “Come on now, I want the first picture with the bride!” she said before they posed for the selfie.

Atrina laughed after the photo was taken. “Okay, okay, it's almost time, right?”

“You'll be fine, they can't start a wedding without the bride, you know,” Wanda reassured her as she stood from her chair.

They rushed to finish getting ready before leaving the room. The sounds of people mingling reached Atrina's ears, as she leaned against the railing of the stairs, causing her to smile.

Her heart leaped for joy when she could hear her fiance's laughter over the others. “Oh my gosh! He's here!”

“Of course he's here! I'd kill him if he wasn't,” Wanda said with a scoff. “Now, I know you want to see him, but you know the rules. It's bad luck to see one another right before the wedding.”

“I know, I know... But I haven't seen him since yesterday...”

“Oh no, not even a whole day! What will you do?” Wanda teased, causing Atrina to lightly nudge her.

“When you get married, you'll know how it feels!”

“True, now come on, it's time.” Wanda led her down the stairs when she heard the cue that it was safe for them to come down.

Wanda gave Atrina her bouquet of red roses before taking her place with her own, smaller, bouquet of light pink roses. The music cued up and Wanda was walking down the aisle before Atrina even realized it.

Atrina felt butterflies in her stomach as she tightly clenched her bouquet. _I'm suddenly wishing I had someone to walk me down the aisle... Oh man..._

The wedding march started to play, before the preacher told everyone to rise, cuing for her to start her decent. She closed her eyes as she took a deep breath, willing herself to calm down.

 _This isn't the hardest thing I've had to do,_ she told herself. _I've killed ogers and darkspawn, so getting married is a piece of cake after the archdemon..._ Atrina mentally laughed at herself. _Ha, I've been playing Dragon Age too much again..._

Delaying no longer Atrina opened her eyes as she took her first step towards her future. As she entered the chapel all eyes fell on her. She took in the small congregation and smiled. It was what they wanted, they didn't want a large group of people they barely met attending, just close friends and loved ones.

Her eyes turned to the altar, making contact with the green eyes she fell in love with. Sam smiled brightly at her the moment he saw her, making her heart flutter. She kept her eyes fixated on him as she walked, her anxiety leaving her.

Though the longer she stared at him the more she noticed that he started to look different. His light blonde hair suddenly seemed a darker, more golden shade and the shape of his nose changed. Sam rubbed his eyes for a moment before standing up straighter and opening his eyes once more, but instead of green, they were now copper brown.

 _Wha... Alistair?_ she thought when she realized who she was seeing. Suddenly she reassured herself that what she was seeing was correct. She was marrying Alistair, how silly of her to feel confused.

When she was finally at the short steps, Alistair offered his hand to her, smiling at her. “My love,” he said softly as she took his hand. “You look radiant,” he whispered in her ear.

Her heart skipped a beat as she walked with him up the rest of the stairs. She turned to him when they reached the top and, now that she was closer, she could see the tears glistening in his eyes. “Wanda said you would be crying when you saw me,” she teased softly as she gave his hand a squeeze.

“Oh, ha-ha...” he said as he wiped his eyes with his thumb. “It's not my fault that you look like the bride of the Maker...”

She giggled as she felt giddy from his compliment. “But I'm not the bride of the Maker... I'm your bride.”

He brightened at her words. “Indeed you are...”

Before long they exchanged rings and vows of love. The revered mother gave them her blessings to kiss and they didn't hesitate.

Cheers rang throughout the chapel as the couple kissed. Atrina felt such happiness consume her as the world around them faded. They pulled away to look at one another.

“I love you, Atrina,” Alistair whispered as he gazed lovingly down at her

She returned the look “I...” she trailed off as a strange feeling came over her.

Alistair took her face in his hands and his face twisted into one of anguish. She could feel his fingers tightening on her skin as tears built up in his eyes. “You can't do this to me! We agreed it would be _me_!”

Atrina looked up at him with confusion before realizing she was now on the ground. She opened her mouth to answer only to discover that she couldn't move. Alistair pulled her limp body into his arms and all she could do was stare up at the red stained sky as he cried.

 _I'm... dead?_ she thought before her vision suddenly went white.

Atrina jumped awake as she felt a hand on her shoulder. The person stepped back from her. “Whoa, easy there, Atrina! It's just me.”

She opened her eyes and blinked at the lighting in the room. “Who..?” She looked up to see a redhead woman.

The woman chuckled a little. “It's me, Shianni! Now, why are you still in bed? It's your big day!”

“Shianni?” Atrina repeated, feeling even more confused than before. “What are you talking about?” she asked as she sat up and rubbed her eyes.

“Still in dreamland, I see. Come on, don't tell me you forgot what day it is?” Shianni asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

Atrina looked up at her for a moment once her eyes felt more adjusted. She blinked at the woman, still not recognizing her, but feeling familiar with her. “Um... mind reminding me? And...” She looked around the room that had no door. There was small with a chest in the corner next to an empty bookcase. “Where am I?” she asked, looking back at the woman, before noticing her pointy ears. _Wait... she's an elf? Am I still dreaming?_

Shianni the elf laughed a little not noticing Atrina's confusion. “Oh, Cousin, come on, how can you forget? Soris is getting married today! And you are too! Your groom, Nelaros... he's here early!”

Atrina's eyes widened in shock. “What?” _This dream is taking a strange turn..._

“You're so lucky! Now, come on, you need to go meet Soris. He's waiting for you outside. I, on the other hand, need to go find my dress with the other bridesmaids. Oh, you're going to be a beautiful bride!” The elf woman practically skipped out of the small house.

Atrina quickly stood up from the bunk bed and took in her surroundings. What was going on?

“Ah, that Shianni, always so... outgoing,” an older male elf said, stepping into the bedroom.

 _I can't believe this... This is..._ she thought, watching the elder man come up to her, looking both joyous and sorrowful. _I'm the elf from the Alienage in Origins... Tabris?_

“My little girl.” He hugged her before she could respond.

 _...When in Rome?_ she thought, hugging him back. It felt foreign to suddenly have a father figure in her life, but nice at the same time.

“Good morning... father,” she hesitated, but he didn't seem to notice.

“It's...” he began, pulling away from her. “It's the last day I'll get to call you that,” he said, looking solemn.

“...I'll always be your little girl,” Atrina said softly. She didn't know him, but she felt a connection with him. The longer she stared at him, the more the connection grew. _What is his name? Cyrion?_

Cyrion smiled at her before looking sorrowful once more. “I wish your mother was here... she would have loved to see this joyous day.”

Atrina tried not to wince when he mentioned her mother. The woman he was thinking of was not the same woman she grew up with. “Me too... um, so what should I be doing?” she asked not sure what else to say.

 _Might as well go with the way the dream takes me..._ she thought before focusing on talking with Cyrion.

It had been awhile since Atrina had played the city elf in the game, but she believed she covered everything with her 'father'. She discovered that she was a rogue, which was her automatic choice whenever she played.

He gave her the boots that belonged to her 'mother' and directed her to the trunk in the corner for anything she would be needing. Knowing she would need them later on, she went ahead and put the boots on before heading out.

Once she stepped outside she took a deep breath. Finally having a moment she reached up and felt her ears. A gasp left her when she felt her pointed ears. “Oh my gosh... I'm an elf!” she whispered before calming herself. “Okay... now I find my cousin... Wait, no, make the rounds and then find Soris...” she mumbled to herself, before wishing she could just skip straight to Ostagar.

 _And meet Alistair!_ she thought, smiling at first before suddenly remembering what happened at the festival.

 _Was that... had that been a dream too? Why am I dreaming so much of him?_ she questioned before remembering that her dreams were never usually so straight forward for so long. Suddenly she remembered his last words to her and the kiss left on her lips.

She felt herself blush at the memory. _That_ had _to have been a dream... it was all so... bizarre..._

Hearing someone call her name, Atrina pushed her thoughts to the back of her mind. _Just need to get through this... It will probably end before anything exciting happens... Though, as long as I don't see Alistair crying over my apparently dead body again, I think I'll be happy,_  she thought before proceeding to do what she could remember doing in the game.

After getting money from some people and helping one girl with her family Atrina found Soris and they talked about their betroths before setting off. They were about to meet their betroths when they saw a group of human men start messing with some of the wedding members, including Shianni.

 _Oh boy, here we go..._ Atrina thought before going over to them.

The leader of the men immediately took interest in her while she tried to ask them politely to leave. Atrina scrunched her nose as the smell of alcohol on his breath when he leaned down close to her.

“Do you have any idea who I am?” he asked with a sneer.

“Um, well...” Atrina began before seeing Soris shaking his head to something behind the man.

The man noticed too and turned in time to see Shianni hit him square across the face with a bottle. Atrina jumped back as the human fell to the ground unconscious.

“Are you insane?! This is Vaughan Uiren, the arl of Denerim's son!” one of the other human's said.

Shianni gasped stepping back. “W-what? Oh, Maker...”

“Look, it just got out of ha--” Atrina began only to get cut off by the other lackey of Vaughan's.

“You've a lot of nerve, knife-ears. This'll go badly for you,” he sneered at her before he and the other lackey worked on picking up Vaughan to get him out of the Alienage.

When the humans were gone Atrina moved to her female cousin. “That was reckless, but I'm honestly glad you did that...” she admitted, knowing she couldn't take down a big man like Vaughan, at least not yet. _When I get a short sword and dagger it'll be easy..._

“Oh, I really messed up this time.” Shianni rubbed her forehead.

“It'll be all right,” Soris said, trying to reassure her. “He won't tell anyone a elven woman took him down.”

“I hope so. I should get cleaned up... I'll be back.” Shianni walked away leaving Soris and Atrina.

After that was over, Atrina met her betrothed. He didn't really interest her, but she was polite.

 _You're going to die anyways... as sad as that is..._ she thought to herself as he walked away from her. _Ugh, why do I have to be doing this background? I hate this one..._ she thought, her mind going back to when she had been planning her own small wedding only for it to all be gone the month before her fiance was to come home. _I miss you, Sam..._

“Don't look now,” Soris said, bringing her out of her depressing thoughts. “We've got another problem.”

“What now?” she groaned a little, starting to get annoyed that the dream wasn't jumping to the more interesting stuff like it usually did if she focused on it enough.

“Another human just walked in--”

“Oh!” she said, cutting him off the moment she saw Duncan. _Finally getting somewhere!_

“Uh, Atrina?” Soris asked, looking at her in confusion.

“Let's go see what he wants, shall we? I don't think he's with Vaughan,” she stated, trying to keep herself from skipping over to the Grey Warden.

“Um, right, we need to get him out of here... The boys have already been into the wine, they might start something.”

“True, I saw some of them earlier outside my house,” she said before smiling when Soris shook his head.

They walked over to Duncan and Atrina had to keep her face neutral when he began to speak to them. As they talked she noticed that the uniform he was wearing wasn't the same as the one in the game.

 _...He's wearing the armor that shows up in the DA2 and in Inquisition..._ She stared at the griffon on his breastplate in slight awe.

“I see you've taken a liking to my armor,” Duncan said, bringing her back to the present.

“Sorry, it's just... I've never seen armor quite like it.”

“That is because only a select few receive this armor. It is the armor of the Grey Wardens,” he said with pride, causing her to smile. “But, please, do not let me interrupt further. We shall speak more later.”

“Looking forward to it, Ser Grey Warden,” she said, curtsying before leaving with Soris.

After being ushered by the bridesmaids she changed into her wedding dress. Shianni helped fasten the dress as she smiled at her.

“You know, you should have your hair down for this... It will look perfect to see the waves in your hair from the braid.”

Atrina smiled a little. “I guess...” she said before taking her hair out of the braid, letting it cascade down her back.

“You've always had beautiful hair... just like your mother's,” Shianni said, brushing her hair for her.

“Thanks.” Out of all the things that Atrina inherited from her mother back home her hair was her favorite. It was sort of nice to know that her elf mother in the game had the same hair too.

“Now, come, it's time to go,” Shianni said, leading her back outside, taking her to where the weddings would unfold.

Stepping up to the platform, she took her place by Nelaros, who smiled when he saw her.

“You look lovely,” he said, taking in how she dressed and looked.

Atrina blushed a little before glancing away. “Thank you...” she said softly while silently starting the count down to when Vaughan would reappear.

It didn't take the arl's son long to make an appearance. His men started grabbing some of the girls as he came up to her and Valora, Soris' bride.

“Don't worry, I won't let them take you,” Nelaros whispered to her, moving to stand in front of her.

“No, it's Shianni I'm worried about,” she whispered back before Vaughan turned to her. “She hit him earlier--”

“Ah, yes...” he said suddenly looming over them. “Such a well-formed little thing.”

She glared at him before Nelaros forced her to step further back. _Uh-oh..._

“You villains!” he shouted only to be pushed aside by the human with ease.

“Stop!” Atrina called before Vaughan could focus on Nelaros. “Please, don't do this. Don't hurt anyone else...”

“Of course not! This is a party!” Vaughan said, moving back over to her. “Oh, we're going to have so much fun!” he laughed in her face, causing her to scrunch her face at the smell of alcohol on his breath once more.

 _Shit!_ she thought, seeing one of the goons come up beside Vaughan.

When the lackey raised his hand to slap her Atrina ducked without thinking about it. She sidestepped around them and ended up behind them.

“...Um...” _That doesn't happen in the game..._ she thought before seeing the men turn to her in shock.“You don't have to hit me, I didn't--” she began only to be cut off by a blow to the back of her head.

When she awoke a few of the elven ladies were hovering over her. Moving to sit up she groaned at the headache she had. Rubbing the back of her head she could feel a knot started to form.

“Oh, thank the Maker you've come to. We were so worried...” Shianni said, helping her sit up.

“Ouch... is everyone okay?” she asked, looking around. “Are we in the palace?”

“The Arl's palace, but doubt we're getting the tour though...”

“They locked us in here to wait... until that bastard is 'ready for us',” Valora spat.

“Great...” Atrina mumbled, before hearing one of the women praying to the Maker.

They didn't have to wait long before the guards entered the room. Just as in the game one elf girl threw her life away by trying to run out. Atrina flinched at the blood and the smell as it suddenly hit her nose. _Ugh, it's so strong!_

The guards just stepped over the body and took the rest of the women, leaving Atrina by herself in the room with two guards.

“...Look can't we talk this over? Isn't there a moral code or something?” she asked, backing up as the two came closer to her. “I know I'm an elf, but...”

“You heard the captain,” the guard said in a sweet sounding voice. “Be a good little wench or you'll end up like your friend there.”

Atrina felt herself start to shake a little as one of the guards moved to grab her. “You don't--”

“Uh, hello?” a voice called from behind the guards, causing them to pause.

 _Yes!_ Atrina thought, grinning.

The guards turned to see Soris standing in the door way, with a sword and dagger in his hands, and Atrina had never been so happy to see him before. Once Soris slid the sword and dagger to her, the guards looked at her with a little bit of fear. “Oh, sod...”

Quickly she stunned them before slashing at them. “Who's the little wench now!” she shouted, kicking them when they were on the ground.

“Are you all right? Where are the others?” Soris asked once the guards were dead.

“The guards took them to other parts of the palace. We need to go, they're in trouble! Glad you came when you did.”

“That Grey Warden, Duncan, gave me and Nelaros two swords, a dagger, and a crossbow, but that's all we have.”

“We can grab more as we go if we need to,” Atrina said, looting the guards real quick. “If we can, we should grab some armor as well, we're too vulnerable in our wedding clothes.”

“Agreed. Nelaros is guarding the end of the hall. Let's figure this out with him.”

They ran out of the room and into the kitchen, meeting with the cook. He was furious at them, claiming they were bandits, but before he could call the guards, a fellow elf knocked him out.

“You've no idea how long that shem's had it coming,” he said, looking pleased.

“Thanks, but can you tell us how to get to Vaughan's quarters?”

“You're going to try and save those girls? Here, let me draw you a quick map,” he offered, grabbing a parchment and charcoal. “Here, hopefully it's legible enough.”

Atrina glanced over the map before nodding. “Thanks so much.”

“Be careful. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm getting out of here before the storm hits,” the elf said before running off.

 _Glad I have this, seeing as I don't have a map floating near me to look at..._ she thought before her and Soris moved forward.

She raided the storage, grabbing rat poison and brandy. Soris urged her to hurry up, but he didn't seem upset that she was taking things.

After killing the guards in the dining hall, she raided their bodies, taking their armor and weapons. “Here put this on,” she said, handing him the leather armor.

After changing, they ran out of the room, encountering more guards. With more bloodshed and raiding of the rooms and bodies done, they finally found Nelaros.

He looked worse for wear with guards surrounding him. Before the elves could do anything he was struck down.

“No!” Soris shouted, as Atrina activated her stealth cloak.

The guards turned to Soris, not seeing Atrina sneak around behind them. “See? Told you there'd be more. Elves always run in packs, like rodents,” the guard captain said.

“He came from the kitchen, so where's the knife-eared bitch?” one of the guards asked before being stabbed in the back.

“Here,” Atrina said as her stealth cloak disappeared. The guard fell to the ground, dead.

“You little--” the guard captain shouted, raising his sword.

“Yeah, 'bitch', I know!” she said as the fight began.

The moment the last guard fell Atrina suddenly felt exhaustion come over her. Her legs gave out and, if it weren't for Soris, she would have hit the stone floor.

“Maker are you all right?” he asked, setting her down, before pulling out a vial of orange liquid. “Here, have a stamina drought. I pulled it off one of the guards.”

She took the offered vial and downed it before coughing a little at the taste. Feeling her strength starting to return she stood once more. “Thanks, Soris.”

He nodded. “You were going at all the guards pretty hard... you need to be more aware of how your body is feeling.”

She sighed knowing he was right. “Sorry, I just want to get the others and get out of here...” she said before looking at Nelaros limp body on the ground. “He... died trying to save me, didn't he?” she asked as guilt filled her. _Why... why didn't I try harder to stop this? Just because it happens in the game..._

“Yes... he lost it on those who wanted to 'hope for the best'... He's the reason I came... I couldn't let him go alone, I'm sorry, Atrina.” Soris looked at the ground in shame.

Atrina gave him a soft look before giving his shoulder a gentle squeeze. “You came though, that's what counts... Now,” she said, sheathing her dagger and sword once more. “Let's make sure Nelaros' rescue attempt wasn't in vain.”

Soris nodded, picking up a sword from one of the fallen guards, as a new resolve took over.

They continued to leave a blood trail the further they ventured into the castle. Atrina double checked the map whenever she felt unsure of where they were going.

“This way,” she said before leading Soris down a hall.

They paused when they got to a door at the very end. “If this map is right, this is Vaughan's room. You ready?”

“Yeah, no going back. I'm with you, Cousin.”

Atrina smiled before moving to open the door. It was locked. “Of course... Keep watch,” she said as she knelt down and began to pick the lock.

Picking the lock reminded her of when she was younger. Atrina had to pick the lock more than once on her mother's bedroom door. She always found the woman passed out. A bottle of cheap whiskey in bed with her. One time she even found her with an empty pill bottle with half of a new bottle gone.

Atrina pushed the memory out of her head as she hated herself for even remembering it. _I shouldn't even be thinking of her. She's not worth it..._ she thought, feeling herself starting to get riled up. Suddenly thoughts of an elven woman appeared in her mind forcing her to calm down. _That was... strange..._ she thought before suddenly hearing the lock click.

“You did it,” Soris whispered with excitement. “Come on, we have him cornered.”

Atrina stood up and opened the door with her sword already drawn. They entered the room to find Vaughan, his two lackeys, and Shianni on the floor.

A gasp left her when she saw that Shianni was cowering in a ball on the floor, naked. Bruises were already forming on her pale skin as whimpers came from her.

“By the Maker!” Soris cried out fully earning the attention of the humans in the room.

“My, my, what have we were?” Vaughan asked almost seeming amused by the two elves who had broken into his room.

“Don't worry, we'll make quick work of them,” one of the lackeys said, smirking as he pulled out his sword.

“And maybe have some more fun with the new wench,” the second one stated, eyeing Atrina in the kilt of the leather armor. She sneered at him in return.

“Quiet, you idiots!” Vaughan spoke up after studying the intruders. “They're covered in enough blood to fill a tub, what do you think that means?” he spat at his two men.

“You tell me why we shouldn't kill you where you stand for what you've done?” Atrina's body shook as she glared daggers at the human before her.

“Let's not be hasty here,” Vaughan began, using a voice he thought was charming and convincing. “You are skilled, obviously. We fight here, perhaps you could even manage to kill us...”

Atrina glared at him. “Let me guess, you want us to take coin and walk away, right?”

“Smart woman,” he said, walking closer to her. “I give you this chance, because, you see, my father wouldn't stand for me being killed,” he said, standing a foot from her. Her glare didn't let up as he spoke. When she didn't say anything in response, he continued. “Your _pigsty_ of an alienage will be burned to the ground,” he said, making Soris falter. “Forty sovereigns added to your purses, you leave Denerim tonight. No repercussions, and you can go wherever you like.”

Atrina's jaw tensed as she willed her body not to shake in anger. “And the women?”

“They stay,” he stated, refusing to budge. “They'll go home tomorrow morning, slightly worse for wear, and you'll be long gone. Take it or leave it. That's the deal.”

“You... you dare call the Alienage a pigsty? When you, yourself, are the _prince_ of pigs?” Atrina spoke, her voice low in anger, sending slight shivers through everyone's spines.

“How dare you, you ungrateful knife-eared wench! I am giving you the chance to get away with murdering guards scot-free!” he raged, grabbing his sword.

“You're a monster and should be put down as such!” Atrina shouted back just as a bolt zipped past her head, hitting one of the lackeys in the shoulder.

The room broke out into a fight with Atrina immediately going to Shianni to protect her from the fray. Vaughan quickly went after her.

“I always regret talking to knife-ears! If you live through this, bitch, I'll make you wish you had stayed in the kitchen!” He thrust his sword at her with clear experience on his end.

Atrina quickly stunned him before drawing her dagger. Quickly she struck both of her blades into the man before he came out of his stupor. He growled before slashing his sword at her stomach making contact.

A cry of pain left her as she stumbled back. She tripped over the fancy rug in the middle of the room and landed on her back. Before she could recover, Vaughan was above her, sword coming down.

Atrina rolled away and quickly grabbed a health potion from her belt. Sharp pain emanated from her scalp, causing her to drop the vial onto the rug. Her head was tugged roughly back forcing her to look up at the arl's son.

He gripped her hair tightly refusing to let go. “Just for that, I think I'll slit your throat.”

“No!” a female voice shouted before Shianni suddenly jumped onto his back, causing him to let go of Atrina in the confusion.

“Shianni!” Soris shouted, fighting off the last lackey left standing.

“Atrina! Now!” Shianni shouted as Vaughan struggled to throw her off of him.

Without hesitating Atrina jumped up and sunk her dagger into his chest.

“Vaughen!” the last human shouted only to receive the attention of Atrina.

Grabbing her sword off the ground, she ran at the man, letting out a battle cry. He backed away in terror as she came at him. Failing to deflect her blows, she quickly killed him, her sword going through his stomach.

Atrina dropped her sword breathing heavily as she stared down at the corpse. The adrenaline rush left her reminding her of her wounds. Quickly she snatched up her fallen health potion and proceeded to take it.

“A-Atrina, are you all right?” Shianni asked as Soris helped her off of Vaughen.

Atrina quickly grabbed the silk sheet from the bed and wrapped it around her. “Yes, thanks to you,” she said, letting Shianni lean on her.

“I'll... go check the back room for the others,” Soris said, giving the girls some space.

“G-good...” Shianni said before tears started falling from her eyes. “P-please... take me home...”

“Of course, you're safe now.” Atrina held her tightly with her own eyes starting to water.

“So much blood. I... I can't stand to look at it... It's... it's everywhere.” Shianni's eyes were wide in terror.

“I know... oh, Maker, I know...” Atrina whispered, rubbing her back. “It's mostly Vaughan's blood...”

“Good. Good...” Shianni clung to her.

“Is... she going to be all right?” Valora asked, coming into the room with Soris.

“...It will take time, but I think so...” Atrina answered as Valora found some clothes for Shianni to wear.

“She's strong... she'll recover.”

“Er, we should go. Soon. As in now,” Soris stated, staying by the door, keeping an eye out for more guards.

“Yes, grab the women...” Atrina said, helping Valora dress Shianni.

 

They had no further run-ins with the guards as they made their escape back to the Alienage. At the gates, Duncan and the elder, Valendrian, were waiting for them.

Valendrain asked about those missing from their group. Atrina hardly paid attention as Shianni was still leaning against her. Absentmindedly the brunette rubbed the ginger's back.

Valora came to their side. “Atrina, I need to take her home... Valendrian wants to speak to you and Soris...”

Shianni looked up at Atrina fear in her eyes once more. “Atrina...”

Atrina gave her a reassuring smile. “It's all right... you'll be fine...”

Shianni still clung to her. “What... about you?”

 _What about me?_ she thought, feeling numb. _This isn't a dream... is it?_ “I'll be fine,” she answered instead before giving Shianni a hug. “I'll come visit you in a little while, okay?”

Shianni nodded letting Valora led her away. Atrina watched the women all leave in a group almost shielding Shianni. A soft smile reached her lips before she finally walked over to Valendrian and Duncan.

Soris joined her side as the elder asked them about what happened.

“Vaughan and his men are dead...” she spoke softly not meeting their eyes.

“Then the garrison could be on their way,” Duncan stated, looking alarmed. “You have little time.”

“Well... we might need to leave Denerim then...” Soris mumbled, looking crestfallen at the thought of leaving his home.

Atrina looked at him and felt for him. Placing a hand on his shoulder she gave it a squeeze. “No... just me...”

All three of the men looked at her in surprise. “ _What_?” Soris asked just before the gates of the Alienage reopened.

The garrison marched through as Valendrian stepped in front of the younger elves. The captain came up to them. “I seek Valendrian, elder and administrator of the Alienage!”

“Here, Captain. I take it you have come in response to today's disruption?”

“Don't play ignorant with _me_ , Elder. You will not prevent justice from being done,” the captain stated. “The arl's son lies dead in a pool of blood that runs through the entire palace! I need names, and I need them now!”

Atrina could hear Soris shaking next to her. Looking up she saw the captain make eye contact with her. Knowing what had to be done she stepped forward.

“Captain, it was me. The arl's son took me and the other women in the wedding to the palace. I stole a sword, dagger, and armor, then fought my way to my fellow maidens. I killed Lord Vaughan.” She held her head high as she spoke, but on the inside she was shaking.

Would Duncan still invoke the Right of Conscription?

“You expect me to believe,” the captain began, looking her over, “one woman did all of _that_?” he asked, sounding skeptical.

“We are not all so helpless, Captain,” Valendrian stated.

The captain looked back at her. “You have saved many by coming forward. I don't envy your fate, but I applaud your courage,” he said, sounding impressed with her before he looked at the crowd that was forming. “This elf will wait in the dungeons until the arl returns. The rest of you, back to your houses!” he said before ordering his men to put chains on Atrina.

They cuffed her wrists and took her weapons. Her body was shaking as they were ready to lead her back to the palace.

“Captain...” Duncan stepped forward almost causing Atrina to collapse in relief. “A word, if you please.”

“What is it, Grey Warden? The situation is well under control, as you can see,” the captain stated, wanting to get back to the palace to help calm the streets before the situation got worse.

“Be that as it may,” Duncan began, stepping up to Atrina, putting his hand on her shoulder. “I hereby invoke the Grey Warden's Right of Conscription. I remove this woman into my custody.”

Atrina couldn't remember a time she felt such relief flow through her. “Really?” she asked, looking up at him, suddenly feeling shocked that he actually did it.

“Son of a tied down-- Very well, Grey Warden,” the captain said bitterly. “I cannot challenge your rights, but I'll ask one thing.” He pointed his finger at Atrina. “Get this elf out of the city. _Today_.”

Duncan's grip tightened slightly on her shoulder. “Agreed.”

“Release her.”

The chains were removed from her wrists, causing her to rub them. They returned her weapons to her which surprised her greatly. Atrina watched as the garrison marched off, hoping to stop the news from spreading without the palace's control.

“You're with me now,” Duncan said, stepping in front of her as he released her shoulder. “Say your goodbyes, and see me when you're ready. We leave immediately.”

She nodded. “Thank you. You didn't have to, but you did, so thank you.”

“Don't thank me just yet,” he told her. “But we have some more pressing matters rising that will affect more than just your people.”

“Okay... I'll grab my things and then I'll join you,” she said, bowing before turning to Soris

“I can't believe you did that,” he said when she came up to him. “Thank you, Atrina... you really saved my hide.”

She shook her head, smiling softly. “I did what was right... you have a future here, I don't.”

He looked sorrowful. “I still can't believe Nelaros is dead... and you're leaving now to become a Grey Warden.”

“I know, pretty crazy right?” she asked, wearing a humorless smile.

“You always do that, you know... doing the right thing, not caring what happens to you as long as others are safe...” he said before standing up straight. “Well, I'm going to follow your example.”

“What? You're going to go kill another arl's son and wait to be conscripted?” she teased lightly.

“Ha-ha, yeah, I don't plan on doing _that_ again,” he said bitterly before becoming serious once more. “But really, no more daydreaming. I'm settling down. Valora's a good woman, and she has ideas on making life better here for everyone.”

Atrina's smile grew. “Told you she was a good catch.”

“Yeah, yeah, you don't have to remind me...” he said before pulling something out of his pocket. “Here... I think you should have this.”

She looked at him in confusion as he placed something in her hand. Looking down at it, she saw it was a gold ring.

“It... it was Nelaros' wedding ring... the one he and his father made for you,” Soris explained. “He asked me to give it to you, in case something happened...”

Atrina felt her heart break a little at the sight of the ring. “Oh, Soris...”

“Well, you better get going... Your father and Shianni will be wanting to say goodbye.”

She looked up at him before suddenly hugging him. “Take care, okay? Treat Valora like a queen.”

Soris hugged her back. “You too, Cousin... You know, I always looked up to you...”

She laughed a little. “Valora's got a great guy,” she stated before bidding him goodbye as he went back home.

Valendrian motioned to her. “Well, I guess Duncan got his recruit after all...” he said sadly.

“Can it be helped? At least I'll be doing something for the greater good instead of waiting for my death in the dungeons.”

The elder sighed at her words. “Yes...” he trailed off not having any words to say. “If you'll excuse me, I must tend to our people. Goodbye, young one, and Maker keep you.”

“Thank you, Valendrian.”

He walked away without another word.

Atrina sighed, before making her way back to her home.

After a heartfelt goodbye to both her father and to Shianni Atrina returned to Duncan. Her father had given her a backpack with clothes and supplies for her journey.

“Are you ready?” Duncan asked when he saw her walking up to him.

Taking a deep breath she nodded. “Yeah...”

“Good, let us be off...”

With one last look at the Alienage Atrina sighed softly as she turned and followed Duncan.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Wanda's POV of first arriving in Thedas, go here:  
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/11892486


	3. The King and the Warden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Atrina discovers what happened to Wanda and finally gets to meet Alistair...  
> Let the giggling begin!

* * *

 

 

They had been traveling for almost two days, making camp for only a few hours at night, just enough to eat and rest. Atrina hadn't talked much her mind still going over the events at the Alienage. Her mind also took her back to the image of the elf woman that appeared in her mind.

 _Who was that? I'm positive I've never seen her before..._ she thought, trying to picture her again.

The more she thought of the woman the clearer the image became. It had started as just trying to figure out who she was, but soon she thought of her whenever she started feeling anxious. The thought of the woman left her feeling happy and safe.

“Duncan?” Atrina asked as they sat around a warm camp fire one night.

“Yes?”

“I've been curious...” she asked, picking at the meat of the rabbit she was nibbling on. “You came to the Alienage to find a new recruit. What I'm wondering is... who was your first choice?”

Duncan chewed his food making Atrina wait for his answer. “Does it matter? I needed a Grey Warden and I found one,” he stated, disappointing her.

“You must have had someone in mind,” she poked a little, trying to find out the answer.

Duncan sighed as he threw the rabbit bones into the fire. “I had actually hoped to recruit the child of a talented rogue...” he said, glancing at her.

Atrina's eyes widened. “You mean... you came for me?”

“Yes, Valendrian spoke highly of your skills, telling me how your mother had trained you. When I first set out to Denerim, it was with the thought I would beat your betrothed to you.”

“After the wedding, if it had actually gone as planned... would you have asked me?”

“Yes,” he answered. “I would have given you the choice to join me, but your life there still wouldn't ever be the same...”

“Because being a Grey Warden is a calling? Not a job where you expect coin?” she asked already knowing the answer.

He looked at her a little surprised. “Exactly.”

“Do you... think I lived up to what you were looking for?”

“From what I've seen, you did what you had to do in the palace to accomplish your goal and save innocents from being hurt. You even sacrificed yourself to keep Soris safe,” he stated. “We need people like you, Atrina. So, yes, you did live up to what I was looking for.”

She smiled at him. “Okay... I just... want to feel I earned this.”

“Just know that the conscripting saving your life was only circumstance,” he told her, helping her clear her doubts.

“Right... thanks, Duncan. Mind if I take the second watch?”

“Not at all, goodnight.”

Atrina bid him goodnight before crawling into the tent that was set up for both of them to take turns using.

Resting on the makeshift bed Atrina's thoughts went over what Duncan said.

 _The child of a talented rogue..._ she thought before the elven maiden reappeared in her mind's eye. Atrina's eyes went wide. _She's... she's my mother?_

Tears formed in her eyes as she suddenly was hit by a wave of sadness. “W-why am I crying?” she whispered to herself, wiping the tears from her eyes. “I didn't even know her... what is happening?”

 _I... miss her? But she's not... my mother was_ never _like her..._ she thought, thinking about her own mother...

Only to have trouble remembering what she looked like.

Atrina sat up quickly her heart beating fast. _Why can't I remember?_ she thought, holding her head in her hands as she tried to picture her actual mother.

It felt like hours before she finally was able to put her mother's face back on a memory or two, instead of seeing the elven maiden. Though seeing the elven mother angry didn't really make sense, her memories would shift to a life she didn't recognize...

A life in the Alienage.

Resting her head back onto the makeshift pillow, Atrina closed her eyes, trying to understand what was happening to her memories.

Before she could get far she fell asleep.

 

“So,” Atrina asked before taking a gulp of the water that was in the pouch. “When I become a Grey Warden, will I get armor like that?” she asked, looking curiously at his armor.

Duncan chuckled a little at the question as he took the pouch from her. “Yes, though not _exactly_ like this one.”

Their travels were almost at an end with the path to Ostagar now being a straight shot. It wasn't long before they made it to the bridge.

She asked him questions about the darkspawn even though she already knew a good deal about them. It was enjoyable talking with Duncan considering the game never showed his and the warden's travels to Ostagar.

 _This is going to hurt more, isn't it?_ she thought suddenly feeling dread over the thought of him dying.

An idea came to her mind. _I...I can warn them!_ she thought before quickly dismissing the idea. _Ugh, they're not going to believe me! Loghain's the freaking_ _Teyrn_ _, King Cailan's father-in-law... And... I'm just an elf from the city... at the bottom of the society..._

“Ah, we're here,” Duncan said not noticing how depressed Atrina had become.

She looked up and gasped a little in awe as the bridge came into sight. Beyond the bridge, she could see the Tower of Ishal, standing tall. She felt incredibly small looking up at the grand tower.

As they walked across the bridge Duncan gave her a brief history about the tower and about Ostagar in general. It wasn't long before they were across the bridge where King Cailan met them.

“Ho there, Duncan!” the king greeted cheerfully, moving to grasp Duncan's arm in greeting.

“King Cailan? I didn't expect--”

“A royal welcome? I was beginning to worry that you'd miss all the fun.”

Duncan didn't return the smile. “Not if I could help it, your Majesty.”

As they spoke Atrina watched Cailan. His armor shined in the sunlight, a beautiful gold. The way he talked about fighting with the Grey Wardens in the coming battle was almost like watching a child talk about their favorite game.

“The other Wardens told me you've found a promising new recruit. I take it this is she?” the king said, turning his gaze towards Atrina.

His sudden attention on her made her nervous. Here was the king of Ferelden, giving the time of day to a lowly elf.

 _Why do I keep feeling this way? I'm not a lowly elf! I was born a human, on Earth... This isn't my world..._ she thought to herself as Cailan approached her.

“Allow me to introduce you, your Majesty,” Duncan offered before Cailan waved him off.

“There's no need to be so formal, Duncan. We'll be shedding blood together after all,” he stated before smiling down at Atrina. “Ho there, friend! Might I know your name?”

Atrina started to bow to him as she spoke. “I am Atrina, your Majesty.”

“Pleased to meet you!” he said, welcoming. He didn't seem to look down on her at all even though she was an elf. “The Grey Wardens are desperate to bolster their numbers, and I, for one, am glad to help them.”

His smile was infectious. “I'm honestly happy to hear that, sire.”

He seemed to beam at her comment. “I see you are an elf. From where do you hail?”

Flashes of the events in Denerim entered her mind. “From Denerim.”

“As do I!” he said excitedly as if it he just found a long lost childhood friend. “Though, I haven't been in the palace for some time. Do you come from the Alienage? Tell me, how is it there? My guards all but forbid me from going there.”

“Well, your Majesty... it's not so great, honestly,” she stated, wanting him to know the truth, but not wanting to be blunt like in the game.

“Oh? Has something happened?” he asked as his smile disappeared and his expression turned to one of concern.

“I'd hate to burden you with it, but... Yes, something has happened... The arl's son...” she trailed off not sure how to say it.

Cailan turned to Duncan. “Tell me, what's happened?”

“Your Majesty, the arl's son had taken some of the women from the Alienage,” Duncan explained.

“He took us to the castle and raped my cousin...” Atrina let out as her body started to shake at the memory of Shianni naked on the floor. “He wanted to pay me to just walk away... I couldn't let him get away with it... I had to kill him.”

“ _What_?”

“Ah, your Majesty, I would not have put it so bluntly...” Duncan said, shaking his head. “But there are events in Denerim that you should be aware of.”

“Clearly...” Cailan said, looking at Duncan before looking off into the distance for a moment. “When I return to Denerim, I will help the Alienage,” he stated, looking back down at Atrina.

 _If only..._ she thought before bowing her head. “Thank you, sire, that means a great deal to me...”

“I am sure you only did what you had to do... But for now, let us put it behind us, we have a war to attend to. Allow me to be the first to welcome you to Ostagar. The Wardens will benefit greatly with you in their ranks,” he said, giving her a charming smile.

Atrina found herself blushing a little. “Thank you, sire.”

Cailan gave her a kind look before sighing. “I'm really sorry, but I must cut this short... Loghain waits eagerly to bore me with his strategies,” he said, shaking his head.

“Your uncle sends his greetings and reminds you that Redcliffe forces could be here in less than a week,” Duncan informed Cailan.

“Ha!” the king said, throwing his head back. “Eamon just wants in on the glory. We've won three battles against these monsters and tomorrow should be no different.”

Atrina bit her lip. “Has it really gone that well?” she asked, wishing she had the proof she needed to save Cailan and stop Loghain.

“Honestly, I'm not sure this is a true Blight,” he said, looking back down at Atrina. “There are plenty of darkspawn on the field, but, alas, we've seen no sign of an archdemon.” He sounded disappointed.

Duncan stated this, causing Cailan to look at him with a smile that didn't reach his eyes.

“I'd hoped for war like in the tales!”

“A king riding with the fabled Grey Wardens against a tainted god?” Atrina offered, remembering how he worded it in the game.

Cailan turned back to her his eyes shining at her words. “Exactly! See, Duncan, Lady Atrina understands,” he said not taking his eyes off of her. “You know the tales?”

She blushed under his gaze. “I have... read a few of them when my mother brought books back from her travels...” she admitted suddenly remembering that her elven mother would return with books for her to read. “Though, you need not call me 'Lady', your majesty. I am no one of noble birth...”

“I see...” he said before rubbing his chin in thought. “Becoming a Grey Warden, however, seems far more deserving of the title to me than being born into royalty.”

She looked up at him in surprise by his words. _I didn't realize he thought THAT highly of the Grey Wardens..._

He simply smiled at her before sighing. “Alas, I must depart before Loghain sends a search party,” he said before bending down and taking her hand. “It has been a pleasure meeting you, _Lady_ Warden,” he said in a low voice before kissing the back of her hand.

Atrina heated up like a flame at his moves. “Um... likewise, your Majesty...” _You didn't do this in the game!_

She could hear Duncan groaning softly in the background.

Cailan bid them farewell as he let go of her hand before leaving with his two guards. As Atrina watched him walk off, she suddenly found herself missing seeing him float off, like he did in her copy of the game.

She touched her cheeks, trying to get them to stop from being warm. _Did he just flirt with me? What the heck?_

Duncan sighed as he came up beside her. “Apologies, I should have warned you about King Cailan's nature.”

“H-he does that often?”

“Only to women that catch his fancy,” Duncan stated before looking down at her. “What he said was true, however, they've won many battles against the darkspawn here.”

Atrina finally felt her cheeks return to normal. “He doesn't seem to think too seriously about the darkspawn or see them as the real threat they are.”

“No, he does not.” Duncan gestured for her to walk with him.

He explained that the darkspawn numbers grew, despite the victories, with each passing day. There was no proof he could fully give to the king for him to take his word on there being an archdemon behind it all.

Atrina gave her opinion on the subject, saying that the king should take his word for it. “You would be the expert.”

“Sadly, it is not enough for him to take action,” Duncan responded.

“It should be... but I don't know enough about the politics of war...” she admitted not sure what else to say. “We should move quickly, what is the next step?”

“I agree, and the next step would be preparing for the ritual,” he told her, earning a nod. “Feel free to explore the camp here, if you wish. All I ask is that you do not leave it for the time being.”

“Understood,” she said as they paused before the bridge that led to the camps.

“There is another Grey Warden in the camp by the name of Alistair,” he said, causing her heart to suddenly race. “When you are ready, seek him out and tell him it's time to summon the other recruits.”

She nodded, staying silent, as she willed her heart to stop beating fast. _Relax, Atrina... Breathe..._

Duncan explained where he would be if she needed him. Watching him walk off Atrina let out a breath.

“Ugh, what is happening?” she whispered as she placed her face in her hands. _I need a journal... Maybe the quartermaster will have one? I'm starting to get scared of how my memories are acting..._ she thought before sighing.

Walking across the bridge she paused to take in the magnificent view. Her heart swelled at the beauty and wonder. Taking her time walking across she studied the statue that was in the middle of the bridge.

After she was done she walked up to the soldier that freely gave information about the camp to her.

“Thanks,” she said when she got what she needed from him.

Walking into the camp she immediately saw the mages using their magic while in the Fade. Curiosity got the better of her as she walked closer to them.

An arm shot out almost making her smack her forehead into metal. “The mages must not be interrupted. Their spirits are in the Fade,” the templar barked at her, causing her to glare a little.

“Sorry, was just curious,” she said before walking off.

She looked around the camp finding the man who was in charge of the dogs. Without hesitating she agreed to try and muzzle the dog. “Shhh, it's okay,” she said softly as the mabari growled. He listened to her and sniffed the hand she offered. “There's a good boy...” she said before he let her put the muzzle on him. “You're going to be all right, I promise,” she whispered, giving him a good scratch behind his ears.

The dog whimpered softly in response as his tail wagged a little.

She left with the mission in mind to get the flower to heal her future dog when she and the other recruits would enter the Wilds. _That will be the first thing I get when I get the chance..._

Walking around, she noticed a familiar mage standing off to the side, leaning against a tree.

 _Wynne!_ she thought excited to see one of her future companions.

Striking up a conversation with her, they discussed the darkspawn, the Fade, and the Golden City. After they ran out of things to talk about Atrina bid the elder woman farewell.

She stretched feeling tense. “Okay... to the quartermaster...” she mumbled to herself before noticing a familiar woman run across the camp, carrying scrolls and books in her arms. “Wanda?” she said, blinking in surprise, before running after her. “Wanda! Hey!” she called, catching her attention.

Wanda stopped and looked around to see who called her. When she spotted Atrina running towards her she dropped the scrolls in surprise and joy. “Atrina!!”

Atrina all but jumped into her best friend's arms. “I can't believe you're here!”

Wanda spun her around before setting her down. “I know! Omg, you're an elf! You're so cuuute with your pointed ears!” she gushed, reaching to touch her friend's ears.

Atrina swatted her hand away. “Cut it out!” she laughed before noticing the robes she was wearing. “Oh my gosh! You're a mage?”

Wanda grinned widely. “Yep! Shoot, that reminds me...” she said, bending down to pick up what she dropped. “I gotta get these to Wynne.”

Atrina looked at her confused as she moved to help her pick up the scrolls. “Wynne? Wait, you didn't get recruited?”

Wanda shook her head. “Nope! I'm here because this is my, quote-unquote punishment, for helping Irving catch Jowan in the act. Wait, you were recruited? Omg! You're going to be the Hero--”

Atrina reached up and covered her mouth. “Shh!!” Quickly she pulled Wanda to a more secluded location.

“Why did you shush me?” her taller friend asked with a pout.

Atrina sighed. “Because, we don't need to draw attention to ourselves...” she whispered. “I can't believe you're here... Last thing I remember is Alistair throwing this vial on the ground and a bright light... What do you remember?”

“Well... I remember hitting Alistair for not letting you go. I held your wrist as that weird light engulfed us...” Wanda said, putting her finger to her chin as she focused on what last happened. “But does it really matter?”

Atrina blinked at her. “What do you mean?”

“Well, at first I thought I was dreaming, but with how long it's lasting and now seeing you here, I'm positive we're in a coma,” she said with a nod.

Atrina stared at her. “...Both of us?”

“Yeah! I mean, we're already telepathic when we're awake, why not while in a coma too?” Wanda asked as she fully believed the logic.

Atrina shook her head. “And what about what happened with that Alistair back home?”

“Well, it's all his fault we're in comas.”

“I don't know... everything has felt... _too_ real...”

“Isn't that how it is in comas?”

Atrina laughed. “I don't know, I've never been in one. Okay, I've held you long enough. Get back to Wynne... we'll talk more later. I have to meet Alistair.”

Wanda giggled as something came to her mind. “Remind me to tell you about Cullen later,” she said with a wink before rushing off.

“Wait... What about Cullen?” Atrina called after her, but got no answer. She huffed a little, feeling a little jealous all of a sudden that Wanda got to meet Cullen. _It's not like she's going to become the Inquisitor..._ she thought, walking towards the quartermaster to see if he had a journal, quill, and ink.

“Excuse me--”

“Oy, elf! Where's that armor?” he shouted at her, grabbing her suddenly by the wrist. “I needed it over an hour ago!”

Atrina pulled her knife out and held it up to his neck with no hesitation. “Release me. Now. I'm not the poor girl you're looking for. I'm one of the Grey Warden recruits,” she stated coldly, feeling no sympathy when the larger man let out a whimper.

He let go of her wrist and held his hands up in surrender. “B-beg your pardon, Miss! M-my mistake!”

Stepping back from him she sheathed her dagger once more. The quartermaster let out a sigh of relief. “You should treat your workers better,” she stated coldly.

“R-right... I'll do that...”

“Now... I came here for a reason,” she said, crossing her arms. “Would you happen to have anything like a journal, quill, and ink for me to purchase?”

He cleared his throat. “Um, actually I do.” He turned and grabbed the things she requested.

“Oh! And another backpack?” she asked suddenly, remembering how she would need more room for things as she traveled.

“Yes, here you are,” he said, having put the items in the backpack and handing them to her.

Atrina pulled out some coins to pay him.

“N-no, no need, Warden,” he said, shaking his head. “Take them as a gift and an apology for how I treated you...”

She blinked at him, having not expected that. “I don't mind payi--”

He just waved her off causing her to shrug.

“All right, if you say so.” Atrina walked away with her new backpack before sitting on the steps near the quartermaster's area. Pulling out the journal, she flipped through it, deciding she was satisfied. “Well... as much as I want to write now, I need to get to Alistair...” she thought out loud before standing.

Heading up the steps, she looked around, before spotting the ramp going to up to where she knew Alistair would be. From where she stood she could already hear the argument between Alistair and the mage. Though the only voice she could really hear was Alistair's.

“I simply came to deliver a message from the reverend mother, ser mage. She desires your presence,” Alistair's voice carried down to her. He sounded like he was just trying to do what he was asked.

A smile came over her features at hearing him. She could already feel herself becoming giddy. _Relax... Don't want him to think you're a giggling idiot._

“Yes... I was harassing _you_ , by delivering a message,” Alistair responded to whatever the mage had said.

Atrina rolled her eyes at the mage's rudeness to Alistair. Taking a deep breath, she headed up the ramp, hearing the end of their argument.

“Here I thought we were getting along so well. I was even going to name one of my children after you... the _grumpy_ one.”

Atrina held back a laugh at his words before hearing the mage huff and walk away.

“...Get out of my way, fool!” the mage said, appearing in front of her. He roughly pushed past her, causing her to glare at him.

“Excuse you!” she called, earning a glare from the mage. “Learn to smile! Someone might actually like you then!”

“Oh, that's a good one! Wish I thought of it.”

Atrina jumped suddenly before turning around quickly to see Alistair standing behind her. He chuckled while looking a little apologetic. “Sorry, didn't mean to startle you.”

She gasped at seeing him dressed in almost the exact same armor that he was wearing when she saw him at the festival. “ _You_!”

“Me! Wait, do I know you?” he asked, studying her to see if he could remember her from somewhere.

“Uh--no, no, sorry... You look like someone I met earlier...” she said quickly. _That's not a complete lie..._ she thought as Cailan popped into her mind.

“Ah... well, you know, one good thing about the Blight is how it brings people together,” he said suddenly, causing her to laugh a little.

“I know what you mean, all of us together, kinda like a party!” she joked back.

A huge grin came over his face as she joked with him. “Exactly! We could all stand in a circle and hold hands. That will give the darkspawn something to think about.”

She couldn't help but laugh even though she had heard it several times before. “I like this plan, should we relay it to the king?”

“Nah, it's the teyrn that we need to convince,” Alistair said, chuckling. “Wait a moment... I _do_ know who you are! You're Duncan's new recruit! The elf from Denerim,” he stated as it finally clicked. “I should have recognized you right away! I apologize.”

Atrina watched as he spoke taking in his features and his voice. _He can't be the same Alistair that caused me and Wanda to be here... he's too young and he looks genuinely surprised to see me..._ she thought before realizing she had been staring.

“Is there something on my face?” he asked, frowning while tilting his head.

“No, sorry, I was just thinking... I was listening, but it didn't click for a moment that you were talking to me,” she admitted, feeling embarrassed.

“Well of course I'm talking to you. You're the only one around here. Unless, you know, I was talking to myself, which would be preeeetty weird...”

She laughed a little. “True, but just for your reassurance, I'm not offended by you not recognizing me. My name's Atrina.”

“A-trii-na...” Alistair pronounced each syllable slowly, trying to learn it.

She felt her heart almost burst when he said her name. _Ack, nonooonoooo... don't do that, heart..._ she thought, biting her bottom lip. _I've heard him say it before... but just not quite like that..._ Her mind went to when Alistair held her for the pictures. Silently she had to will herself not to blush at the memory.

“That's right... I was curious on how it was said, and now I know,” he grinned at her not helping her heart. “Allow me to introduce myself. I am Alistair, the new Grey Warden. Though, I guess you knew that.”

“You'd guess right,” she said with a little amusement. “Though, honestly, I think the armor gave it away.” She nodded to his Grey Warden armor.

“You know, these not only _look_ awesome, they _feel_ fantastic!” he said, boasting about the armor. “You'll enjoy it, I'm sure.”

“I believe you.” She smiled at him.

He smiled back at her neither one of them saying anything for a moment.

“You know...” he said as if thinking of something. “It just occurred to me that there have never been many women in the Grey Wardens. Wonder why that is.”

“Oh? You want more women to join?” she asked, raising a brow at him. _This is so much fun!_

“Would that be so terrible?” he asked before noticing the look she was giving him. “Not that I'm some drooling lecher--please stop looking at me like that...” he said, causing her to laugh.

“So, out of curiosity, what was that argument about?” she asked.

“With the mage? Well, as you've probably seen while walking through camp, the Circle of Magi is here at the king's request...”

“Let me guess, the Chantry isn't too happy about it?”

“Bingo, they just _love_ letting mages know how unwelcomed they are,” he said, rolling his eyes. “Which puts me in a bit of an awkward position... I used to be a templar.”

“Yikes... that would be awkward.”

“Yeah, well, I'm sure the revered mother meant it as an insult, sending me as her messenger... And the mage picked right up on that,” he said before letting out a sigh. “I never would have agreed to deliver it, but Duncan says we're all to cooperate and get along. Apparently they didn't get the same speech.”

She gave him a small smile. “Can't be easy having to deal with both your old bosses and the people who used to be super wary of you.”

He chuckled lightly. “Well, they're not all the same people... But yeah.”

“So... because I'm a nosy person,” she said, stepping forward as he looked at her curiously. “Do you, personally, have issues with mages?”

“No, not unless they're apostates,” he said before raising an eyebrow at her. “Why? Are you secretly an apostate?”

Atrina smiled at him before pulling out her sword and dagger. “No, just a rogue,” she said as she casually twirled the dagger in her hand. _I'm really good at this... why am I just now realizing that?_

He laughed a little bringing her thoughts back. “Good! I don't have to worry about you turning me into a frog or something.”

She grinned before she put her weapons away. “So, Duncan mentioned other recruits?”

“Yes, have you met them?”

“Um, no, I kinda made a beeline to you, honestly,” she admitted as she had not really thought about looking for the other two recruits before meeting with Alistair. _I guess I was too excited?_

“Really? Well, I feel honored... and slightly confused,” he said clearly not used to hearing that.

“Why? You're the one I needed to talk to.”

“True... also, as the junior of the order, I'll be accompanying you as you prepare for the Joining,” he said as they both subconsciously agreed to start walking.

“See? It's a good thing I sought you out. I'll need some pointers on what exactly it is I'm supposed to be doing,” she stated, moving to put her long hair up in a braid.

“I'm actually going to be more observing, really. I'm not here to make it easier,” he informed her, watching the way her fingers moved to make the braid.

Atrina shrugged. “Well, hope it's entertaining for you at least,” she grinned at him.

“Mm, I think it will be...” he mumbled mostly to himself.

She looked at him curiously when she was done braiding. “What did you say?”

His eyes snapped up to hers. “What? Oh, nothing, just, uh...” He cleared his throat. “So, I'm curious, have you ever actually encountered darkspawn before?”

At her shaking her head no Alistair described his first encounter with them. Atrina had the feeling that the games did nothing to prepare her for how horrible they were.

They walked around the camp with Atrina asking him questions and Alistair answering the ones he felt he could. He wouldn't tell her anything about the Joining which did not surprise her.

“I'm sure Duncan told you that it's a closely guarded secret,” he said as they paused in their walk, stopping near the target practice.

“Well, I overheard that we'll be sent out into the Wilds, is that true?” asked a man walking up to them.

“Ah, Daveth... this is Atrina, the newest recruit,” Alistair introduced while quickly changing the subject.

Daveth looked Atrina over. “Huh... not what I thought you'd be.”

Giving him a slight glare she placed her hand on her hip. “And what were you expecting?”

“Well, not an elf, that's for sure.”

“Oookaay, Daveth, I think you should go head over to Duncan,” Alistair said, seeing the murderous look in Atrina's eyes at the human rogue's words.

“You never answered my question,” Daveth said, turning on Alistair. “There are witches in the Wilds you know!”

Alistair held back a groan. “Look, I already told you, Duncan will give you instructions when it's time to prepare.”

Daveth glared before grumbling off. “I hate witches...Stupid Wardens and their secrets...”

Alistair let out a sigh.

“Thanks,” Atrina said, feeling herself cool down.

“Hm? For what?” he asked, looking at her.

She just smiled at him before walking over to take in the view. “Wow... it's magnificent!” she breathed out as her eyes took in everything.

“Yeah, it's pretty grand.” Alistair joined her side, leaning against a pillar. “See over there?” he asked, pointing to an area in the forest that looked darker than the rest. “That's where the darkspawn are right now...”

Atrina looked where he was pointing and grimaced. From what she could see the trees in that area were all dead.

“The darkspawn corrupt everything they touch...” he said his face looking grim.

“We'll stop them,” she said, looking back at him. “I don't know if it will end today, but we'll stop the Blight in the end.”

He glanced at her looking slightly awestruck. “You know, I'd say you were confidant like the king, but you seem to understand what's happening better than him.”

Giving him a smile she turned around to face the camp. “Duncan and I talked quite a bit during our travel here... Well, after I finally got over my shock about the situation I left back in the Alienage.” She walked a little forward as she crossed her arms over her chest.

Alistair turned to her looking curious. “Oh? What happened--if you don't mind my asking?”

Looking down at the ground in thought she mulled over if she should tell him now or wait. She glanced back up at him, the smile on her face held sadness. “I'll tell you later.”

Alistair seemed to study her for a moment. “...All right. Well, we should probably find Ser Jory and then we can get started,” he said, stepping up beside her.

“Sounds like a plan.”

He bowed a little sweeping his arm out to the side. “After you, milady.”

Atrina giggled a little at his gesture as she walked by him. He grinned at her apparently hoping for that reaction. “Come on,” she said, waving for him to follow.

They walked around camp some more, grabbing some food when Atrina suddenly mentioned she realized she hadn't eaten since that morning.

“We're not going to be able to eat here til after the Joining is complete, so let's get some decent food in you, yeah?” Alistair offered, leading her to where food had been prepared for the army.

After eating their fill, Alistair eating so much more than she, they headed up to the ramp towards the army camp.

“So...” she began, looking up at Alistair. “Let me see if I got this down. You were given to the Chantry when you were small to become a Templar someday, but it wasn't something you actually wanted. Duncan appeared just before you were about to take your final vows. He saw how unhappy you were and recruited you against the reverend mother's orders...”

“And I've been a Grey Warden for six months now, yes,” he confirmed. “So, even though you were born in the Alienage,” he began, starting to list her history that she gave him in exchange for his. “Your mother was a rogue who did a lot of traveling. She trained you to become like her against your father's wishes and whenever she came back from traveling, she would bring you a new book about the world?”

Atrina nodded her head. “Yep, that's it!”

“Still haven't told me about how he recruited you, though,” he mentioned, crossing his arms in thought. “Duncan had told me a little about how he had planned to hopefully recruit you before something could possibly prevent it.”

“Oh?” She looked at him in surprise. “Duncan talked to you about me?”

Alistair shrugged. “Well, to me and the other Wardens, but yes.”

“Speaking of the other Wardens, when will I get to meet them?”

“Not til after the Joining,” he answered, looking away from her. “If not then, then after the battle.”

“Ah, Alistair, is this the third recruit?”

Atrina looked up to see a man walk towards them dressed in well made armor. Seeing him balding on the top of his head, she already knew who he was right away.

“Ser Jory, this is Atrina from Denerim. Atrina, Ser Jory hails from Reddcliffe,” Alistair introduced them.

“Greetings, Atrina. I was a knight serving under the command of Arl Eamon,” Jory said with pride.

“Pleasure, Ser Jory,” she said politely.

“Tell me, have you had much luck in convincing Alistair to tell us about the Joining?”

Alistair sighed. “As I told you, Ser Jory, I can't say anything about it.”

The once knight huffed a little. “Well, I just don't understand the need for more trials. Haven't we already proven ourselves by being recruited?”

“When it comes to secret orders there are always more trials,” Atrina spoke up as she silently started to get annoyed with Jory, more so than she did when she played the game. “Being recruited only shows we have the _potential_ , not that we are actually _destined_ for this calling.”

Both Alistair and Jory looked at her in surprise though Alistair was the only one smiling at her words. Jory looked a little miffed. “Yes, well, I have worked hard to be here.”

Atrina nodded her head at him. “Great to hear... then you shouldn't have an issue with waiting until Duncan tells us what is required of us?”

“Uh, speaking of Duncan, it's probably best if you go meet him at the tent with Daveth, Ser Jory. We will join you shortly,” Alistair said, noticing the tension rising between the two recruits.

Ser Jory nodded his head to them in goodbye.

Alistair turned to Atrina and looked down at her with an eyebrow raised. “As happy as I was to watch you knock Jory down a peg, did you have to start egging him on?”

She gave him a confused look. “What do you mean? I was just talking and explaining the situation better so he wouldn't keep asking you.”

His expression turned to one of amusement. “Well, I don't think he saw it that way.”

Atrina shrugged. “It's not my fault that he's so easily offended when someone doesn't agree with him.”

Chuckling he shook his head. “True,” he said before a Chantry Sister caught their attention.

“Hello, I suspect you are one of the new Grey Wardens,” she said, coming over to Atrina. “Will you accept the Maker's blessing?”

Atrina felt surprised when she offered her the blessing. “Yes, thank you.”

The Sister smiled before raising her hand and giving her the blessing. Atrina bowed her head during the prayer. When the Chantry Sister was done, Atrina expressed her thanks once more, before she left to give the blessing to other soldiers around the camp.

“Well, now that's out of the way, you ready to head back to Duncan?” Alistair asked, looking down at her.

Nodding she followed him as they walked past the cages. A moan from one of the cages caused her to pause.

Looking up she noticed a prisoner that looked weak. When he saw her he spoke. “Heh... someone finally comes to talk to the lone prisoner? I don't suppose you've come to sentence me?”

“I'm an elf, normally we don't have that kind of authority,” she stated.

“You're walking around with that Warden, figured you're with him.”

“Well, you'd be right,” Alistair said suddenly as he was beside her once more. “Weren't you the man sneaking around the other night?”

The prisoner scoffed. “Yeah, that's right... they thought I was deserting... but I wasn't though.”

Atrina crossed her arms over her chest. “What were you doing then?” she asked even though she already knew the answer.

“I was stealing...” he admitted. “I managed to get one of those wizards drunk and stole a key off of him. It opens a chest they got here, full of magical items. In fact, I still have the key.”

“How do you still have it?” Alistair asked, but Atrina held her hand up to stop the prisoner from explaining.

“I think I have an idea how... I really don't want to lose my lunch...” she stated, causing Alistair to get it.

“Yuck... That must be some party trick...”

“Hey, I panicked, all right? Speaking of food... I don't suppose you have a bit of kindness in you? All I'm asking is for some food and water, they haven't fed me since they locked me up. I'll even give you the key in exchange.”

“Um... I might have to pass on the key...” Atrina said, not wanting to touch it. “But, let me see if I can get you some food.”

“Really? The guard there, I saw him put some of his food away, if I could just have some of it, I'd be grateful.”

She nodded before going over to the guard to convince him to give her part of his food. At first he was resistant, but eventually gave in when she promised she would take the blame if he got in trouble for it.

“Here you are,” she said, giving the food and water pouch to the prisoner.

“Much obliged,” he said, reaching for the food. “May Andraste herself rain blessings upon you!”

“That was kind of you to do,” Alistair leaned down and whispered in her ear as they headed to the Grey Warden tent.

Atrina shrugged. “No matter who you are, I think you shouldn't be denied a last meal... I'd hope someone would be kind enough to do the same for me if I was ever waiting to be executed,” she said with honesty.

They returned to the Grey Warden tent, where Duncan and the other two recruits were waiting inside. The tent was big enough for the five of them to stand comfortably in. Alistair joined Duncan's side as Atrina stood next to Daveth and Jory opposite of the Wardens.

After asking Alistair if he was done riling up the mages and explaining how the Wardens didn't need more ammunition against them, Duncan turned to the three recruits. He explained how they were going into the Korcari Wilds, (in which Daveth mumbled a quiet, “knew it!” to his fellow recruits) and that they were to bring back three vials of darkspawn blood.

“Darkspawn blood? Surely you could have had some ready before now,” Jory said as Alistair handed each of them an empty vial to hold the blood in.

“Of course.” Duncan smiled a little at the comment. “You must work together to collect the components, however. It's as much a part of the Joining as what comes after,” he explained.

“What do we need the blood for anyways?” Daveth asked, rolling the vial in between his fingers.

“For the Joining itself. I'll explain more once you've returned.”

 _It's weird hearing them ask the same questions that my character can ask..._ she thought, glancing at them before turning to look at Duncan. “And what's the second task?” she asked, placing her own vial in her belt.

Duncan explained about the old outpost that was abandoned in the Wilds and about the scrolls that were left behind. He appointed the job mainly to Alistair, who nodded response.

“What're these scrolls exactly?” Alistair asked this being the first he has heard of them.

“They're old treaties. Promises of support made to the Grey Wardens long ago,” Duncan stated. “They were once considered only formalities. With so many having forgotten their commitments to us, I suspect it may be a good idea to have something to remind them with.”

“What if they're not there anymore?” Atrina asked.

“It's possible that the scrolls could have been destroyed or stolen though the seal's magic should have protected them. Only a Grey Warden can break such a seal.”

“I don't understand... why leave such things in a ruin if they're so valuable?” Alistair asked.

“It was assumed we would return,” Duncan answered. “A great many things were assumed that have not held true. Here is a map to the ruins,” he said, giving the younger Warden a folded piece of parchment. “Watch over your charges, Alistair. Return quickly and safely.”

“We will.” Alistair tucked the map into his belt.

“Then may the Maker watch over your path. I will see you when you return,” Duncan said, bidding them farewell.

Walking out of the tent Alistair turned to the three recruits.

“Right then, shall we get going?” he asked. “If you need to go, you can just find a tree out in the Wilds-- or a bush...” he said, looking at Atrina at the last comment.

Her shoulders slumped. _I miss modern plumbing..._ she thought with a wrinkle of her nose.

With no further questions or remarks the three recruits set out with Alistair into the Korcari Wilds.

As they traveled through the Wilds Jory thought it would be a grand idea to explain how he was recruited. After he derailed from the subject of the grand tournament he was a part of, he went on about his wife, who was now expecting a child. Daveth jumped in and explained how he pick-pocketed Duncan.

“I'm a wanted man in Denerim,” Daveth said as he absentmindedly twirled one of his daggers as they walked. “If it weren't for Duncan, I'd've been hung in the square.”

“It's a wonder why he recruited you...” Jory stated, causing Daveth to shrug.

“Don't really know what he was thinking, but I'm grateful,” he said before turning to Atrina, who had been silent for awhile. “What about you, 'Trina?” Daveth asked, sliding over to her and snaking his arm across her shoulders.

“Don't call me that,” she told him, peeling his arm off of her.

“Come now, Atrina, we shared how we were recruited,” Jory said on the other side of Daveth.

“I don't feel like sharing right now... maybe when we get back to camp?” she offered as she was not in the mood to go down memory lane right then.

Daveth moved in front of her and started walking backwards as he spoke. “It can't be that bad! Did you get caught stealing from him too?” he teased, ignoring the glare she was sending his way.

“Look, fellas, if she doesn't want to share--” Alistair began only to be cut off by Jory.

“We are supposed to work together and get to know one another, yes? Then she needs to tell us, even if it's just something small--”

“Fine, you want to know?” she asked, stopping in her tracks. The men all stopped to look at her. The expression on her face was dark as she eyed them. “It was my wedding day and the arl's son decided he wanted to get drunk and crash the wedding, taking me and the other women in the wedding party back to the arl's palace,” she began, her tone of voice was low as she spoke.

“After killing the guards left with me, I had to fight my way through the palace to try and save the other women, while my betrothed died in the process. I was too late for my cousin, who had been raped by the arl's son and two of his buddies. He tried to pay me to walk away, so I killed him and his men for what they did.” Her body started to shake a little by the time she was done.

The three men stared at her in stunned silence. She lowered her gaze as she walked past them. “Happy now?”

It was clear Jory and Daveth didn't really care about her feelings which was why they pushed for her to share. If she had been a human they would have treated her with a little respect.

But she was an elf. What did her feelings matter?

“Atrina...” Alistair's voice called softly from behind her, causing her to stop walking.

“I don't need pity...” she said not looking back at him. “...My life has never been easy...”

“...Neither has mine.”

At his words she looked back at him over her shoulder. With no words exchanged they shared an understanding. Even though Atrina already knew Alistair's story, while he didn't know hers, she felt a deeper connection with him in that moment than she had felt while playing the game.

His look of understanding turned into one of urgency. “Darkspawn!”

Everyone pulled out their weapons just in time to see darkspawn crawl out of the ground. One climbed out from under Atrina grabbing her ankle.

“Shit!” She jumped and kicked the hand away before cutting the darkspawn's head off the moment it came out from the ground.

Another darkspawn quickly took its place. Atrina backed away at the sight of the creature. Black dripped from its eyes and mouth as it let out a battle cry before rushing at her. She dodge the sword that almost made contact with her head. Jumping forward, she slashed the darkspawn in the chest, knocking it to the ground.

It stood back up without hesitation and was ready to attack again. She quickly stunned it followed by slashing its torso. The monster crumbled to the ground making a gurgling noise as it died.

A shot of pain went through her, causing Atrina to double over at the unexpected feeling. Looking down at her hands she could see green vapors coming off her skin. _Magic?_

A banging sound caught her attention, causing her to look up over her shoulder. Alistair was banging his shield with his sword trying to distract the darkspawn with the staff. At first it didn't work and she had to roll out of the way of another spell that had been sent at her. When she looked back up, Alistair was successfully in battle with the darkspawn mage, giving her time to take a lesser health potion.

A short darkspawn spotted her and quickly came at her. She stunned it quickly before slashing it. _Ugh, why can't I remember what these things are all called?_ she thought, feeling agitated that she was mentally calling them tall, short, or mage darkspawn.

The small battle ended quickly in their favor. Atrina wiped the sweat and blood from her brow while breathing a little heavy. Looking down at her hand she could still see green vapors rising from her skin. She moved to sit down as she started to feel weaker.

“Here, I've got an antidote for that.” Alistair knelt down beside her and pulled a vial out of his belt. “You only need a small amount to stop the poison magic.”

Nodding she took the antidote. Making sure she only took a small mouthful, she handed the vial back to him, making a face at the taste. “Why can't these things be like fruit flavored or something?”

He chuckled at her comment. “And miss out on the great taste of bitter herbs?” he joked, holding his hand out for her.

She took his offered hand and bounced a little when he helped her up. “Yeah, sure, though it's probably a good thing because we might run out of them quicker than necessary,” she said with a grin, earning an amused look from him.

“Got my vial!” Daveth shouted, holding up his vial that was now filled with blood. Shortly after he said that the darkspawn body he got the blood from disintegrated into the ground. “Andraste's ass! What the hell just happened?” he shouted as he jumped back.

“Ah, did we forget to mention that if you're not quick enough, the darkspawn bodies decay back into the ground?” Alistair asked.

“No, you didn't,” Jory said, annoyed. “How are we supposed to get the blood if the bodies disappear?”

“Daveth got his,” Alistair pointed out. “If he can, you can as well.”

“This makes so much more sense...” Atrina mumbled to herself. Why else would it take so long to get the darkspawn blood in the game? _And the bodies always disappeared in the game anyways..._

“Pardon?” Alistair looked down at her.

“Uh, well, why else would there be so much work involved? If it was easy to get the darkspawn blood, wouldn't there actually be some saved up?” she asked, giving the easiest answer that came to mind.

“How many more darkspawn must we fight?” Jory asked, sheathing his large sword.

“Well, I'd assume most, if not all, once we're done with the ritual,” Atrina sassed a little.

Jory glared at her. “That is not what I--”

“She's right though, ain't she? We're here to become Grey Wardens to fight these monsters,” Daveth stated.

“Let's just keep moving, okay? We still have to find the treaties,” she said.

They all agreed before pressing forward. They fought wolves along the way, saving the furs and the meat for when they would need to eat.

It wasn't long before they found a squad of dead human soldiers. One soldier survived to tell them how they had been flanked by the darkspawn.

“Could we take him back to camp?” Atrina asked, hating the idea of the injured man walking all the way back to camp by himself.

“I-I can make it on my own...” the soldier said weakly. “If I could just have some bandages and a health poultice...”

“I have some in my pack,” Alistair said, knelling down to pull the items out.

“Here, let me help.” Atrina knelt down next to the soldier. She coated the wounds in the health poultice and helped wrapped the wounds that needed it most. “Here's a potion as well...”

“Thank you...” he said, standing up with Alistair and Atrina's help. “I've got to get out of here...” he said with a groan before limping towards camp.

“I wish he would have let us help him more...” Atrina said, biting her bottom lip a little.

“I agree, but time is of the essence...” Alistair reminded her.

Jory became worried suddenly complaining once again about the number of darkspawn in the forest. Even with Alistair explaining he could sense the darkspawn, so they would know when they were about to be attacked, Jory still voiced complaints.

“For a guy who wanted to be a Grey Warden so badly, he doesn't seem very willing to accept that fighting darkspawn comes with the job...” Daveth whispered to Atrina, who nodded in agreement.

As Alistair continued to try and get Jory to continue forward, Atrina spotted some flowers. “Oh!” she let out, causing the two warriors to pause in their 'discussion'.

She moved to the flowers and cut them at the stem with her dagger. Jory scoffed behind her. “Is it really the time to be picking flowers?”

Rolling her eyes she placed the flowers in her pack. “For your information, Ser Jory, I was asked to collect them in hopes of saving some mabari back at camp,” she stated, turning back to him. “But if you're done holding us up, maybe we can get going once more?”

Jory's jaw tightened as he glared at her. “Fine, then, _lead_ the way.”

Atrina blinked at him before looking at Alistair.

He smiled at her shrugging. “I'm just observing, remember? I'm not here to make it easy for you.”

“I don't care who we follow, as long as we get this over with,” Daveth added.

She continued to look at them in surprise before raising her head high. “All right, I will. Can I have the map, Alistair?” she asked, holding her hand out for it.

He handed it to her without hesitation and a hint of a smile on his lips. “Certainly, milady.”

She tossed him a smile before looking down at the map. After studying it for few minutes she led the way.

 

More darkspawn scouts appeared as they went. Atrina was able to get her vial of blood while Jory still had trouble getting his. They stopped for a break when Alistair told them he wasn't sensing any darkspawn near their location.

“We should still eat quickly, we don't want to be out here too late,” she said as Alistair started a campfire to cook the wolf meat.

“You really shouldn't push yourself so much,” he said as he started to cook the meat.

“I'm fine,” she told him, but she was honestly feeling restless. Opening the map, for what felt like the hundredth time, she studied it once more.

“Yeah? I'm pretty sure you memorized that by now.”

She glanced at him before putting the map down. “All right, I actually wanted to ask you something.”

“Uh-oh, what did I do?” Alistair asked, moving to sit next to her.

“Ha, nothing... yet,” she said, giving him a teasing grin. Pulling her pack closer to her, she pulled out her new journal, quill, and ink. “I wanted to ask you if you knew the different types of darkspawn.”

He looked at her a bit surprised. “Uh, heh, I do.”

“Great!” she said, sharpening her quill real fast. “Can you tell me about them?”

He chuckled when she got her quill ready with ink. “And you're going to write it all down?”

She pouted a little at his teasing. “Well... it helps me remember better. I can't just shout 'short darkspawn! Wait! Mage darkspawn!' all the time, you know?”

He shrugged. “All right, uh, well, there's several different types...”

 

After they ate their meal Atrina tossed dirt onto the dying flames. They continued their journey through the Wilds finding a few extra things: They found the body of the man from the Chantry who had set out to bring the Chant of Light to the Chasind and found his son's body as well.

Even though Daveth wanted to open the chest to see what was inside, Atrina put the small chest in her backpack, the seal on it remaining untouched.

“It's not ours and it deserves to be returned to this man's wife,” she explained, Daveth giving up.

Night set in forcing the four to make camp. Alistair took the first watch letting the others sleep. Surprisingly not much happened during the night.

When morning came they ate a quick breakfast. Jory did the cooking everyone having decided that they didn't want to eat anymore of Alistair's cooking again.

“You didn't die, right?” he joked, but was actually thankful to not have to cook again.

After clearing the camp they continued on their way to locate the ruins and get Jory a vial of blood. Another battle was over, but Jory still did not have his vial filled. He was growing more frustrated and irritable.

“Ser Jory, I can help you get the vial full,” Atrina said only for him to glare at her. “I'm just offering... Duncan did say we had to work together.”

The man let out a sigh. “You're right... Yes, if you don't mind, I could use your help to get my vial full.”

She gave him a smile. “I don't mind at all.”

“Looks like you've got your chance,” Alistair said, pulling out his sword.

Darkspawn rushed them barely giving Atrina enough time to get the empty vial from Jory. The moment she killed a darkspawn she cloaked herself and filled the vial with the blood.

Corking the vial, she tucked it into her pack, just before her cloak disappeared. A hurlock spotted her and immediately ran towards her.

She jumped up and dodge its sword, before sidestepping around it, ending up behind the hurlock. Quickly, she stabbed it in the back several times, before it had a chance to turn around. When it finally got its bearings, the hurlock turned, slashing its sword diagonally at her.

Atrina retreated back only to bump into something. Looking up over her shoulder Alistair looked down at her over his. Sharing a brief look and nod, they silently agreed to have each others' back as they fought their enemies.

“Want to switch?” Alistair asked, having a genlock slashing at him.

“Works for me,” she said before they switched places.

They took the down darkspawn shortly afterward. Atrina pulled out the fresh vial before giving it to Jory.

“I... thank you, Atrina,” Jory said, looking grateful.

She nodded. “Don't mention it.”

“Ah, I think this is it,” Alistair said, looking up at a set of ruins.

Atrina followed his gaze before pulling out the map. “Yeah, I think it is.”'

Walking into the ruin they looked at it in slight awe before spotting a chest. Alistair ran straight for it. “It's... it's broken...” he said before looking inside of it. “Empty, blast it...”

“Well, well...” a voice called, catching everyone's attention. “What have we here?”

Atrina turned to see Morrigan walking down the ramp. She had to hold in her excitement at seeing the mage.

“Are you a vulture, I wonder? A scavenger poking amidst a corpse whose bones were long since cleaned?” she asked, pausing in front of them. “Or merely an intruder, come into these darkspawn-filled Wilds of mine in search of easy prey?” Her yellow eyes looked at all four of them as she spoke. “What say you, hmm? Scavenger or intruder?”

“How are these your Wilds?” Atrina asked, causing the mage's yellow eyes to land on her.

A chuckle left Morrigan. “Because I know them as only one who owns them could. Can you claim the same?” she asked before walking past them. As she walked she told them she had been watching their progress for some time now. “And now you have disturbed ashes none have touched for so long. Why is that?” she said as she turned back to them, looking down from the higher ground.

“Don't answer her,” Alistair said, leaning down close to Atrina's ear. “She looks Chasind, and that means others may be nearby.”

“Ohh, you fear barbarians will swoop down upon you!” Morrigan mocked.

“Yes, swooping is _bad_ ,” Alistair stated as he stood up straight.

Atrina put her hand to her mouth to try and stifle a giggle.

“You laugh at inappropriate times, you know,” he said, looking at her with a glare.

She held her hands up. “I'm sorry, but it was a funny line.”

“No it wasn't, how is this funny? She's a witch of the Wilds, she is, and you're over here laughing!” Daveth said, causing her to roll her eyes. “When she turns us into toads, will you be laughing then?”

“Witch of the Wilds?” Morrigan repeated, looking down at the group in amusement while catching their attention once more. “Such idle fancies those legends. Have you no minds of your own?” she asked before looking down at Atrina. “You there, women do not frighten like little boys. You tell me your name and I shall tell you mine.”

Artina smiled. “My name's Atrina. Pleasure to meet you.”

“Now that is a proper civil greeting, even here in the Wilds. You may call me Morrigan,” she said, sounding pleasantly surprised by Atrina. “Shall I guess your purpose? You sought something in that chest, something that is here no longer?”

Atrina bit her tongue at Alistair's next line, already knowing it practically by heart. She had a feeling that he would get upset with her if she kept laughing at all he said. _It is not my fault that the writers and the voice actor for Alistair made him so damn funny!_ she thought.

“'Here no longer'? You stole them didn't you? You're... some kind of... sneaky... witch-thief!” Alistair said, as she knew he would. It was hard, but she managed to keep from laughing that time.

“How very elegant,” Morrigan said not impressed. “How does one steal from dead men?”

“Quite easily it seems. Those documents are Grey Warden property, and I suggest you return them.”

They bantered back and forth for a moment before it was revealed that Morrigan's mother had the documents. “Could you take us to her?” Atrina asked, speaking up before Alistair could.

“There is a sensible request. I like you,” Morrigan said, giving her a smile in which Atrina returned.

“I'd be careful. First it's 'I like you...' but then 'Zap!' Frog time,” Alistair warned her only to receive a small laugh in response.

“Sorry!” Atrina apologized when he glared at her. “But I really think if she was planning on turning us into frogs, she'd have done it by now.”

“It's always the women that have the sense, I tell you,” Morrigan stated, causing Alistair to redirect his glare at her. “Follow me then, if it pleases you.”

“Are you insane? She'll put us in a pot, she will!” Daveth exclaimed as Atrina stepped forward to follow Morrigan.

“If that pot is warmer than this forest, it will be a nice change,” Jory stated, reminding them all of how cold it seemed to be getting as the sun started to go down. He moved to join the women.

Atrina looked back at Alistair to see him looking torn on what to do. “Look, I doubt you two will have to come,” she said, giving Daveth and Alistair an out if they wanted it. “Ser Jory and I will be fine going on ahead. We can meet back at the camp entrance,” she said before she and the knight moved to follow Morrigan.

Alistair groaned softly. “Wait up,” he said before nodding to Daveth. “Come on.”

The rogue looked at them in shock as they willing followed Morrigan. He cursed to himself when he came to the conclusion that he didn't want to be alone in the Wilds. Reluctantly he caught up to the group.

Atrina turned to Alistair when he joined her side. “You didn't have to come if you didn't want to.”

Alistair shook his head. “No, I have to... Duncan entrusted me with the task of getting the documents,” he stated before looking down at her. “And besides, I wouldn't be doing my job very well if I just let you wander off with a stranger in the Wilds.”

“I would have had Ser Jory with me.”

“Yes... well, he can't sense the darkspawn.”

With a coy smile she narrowed her eyes a little at him. “Uh-huh, I thought you were supposed to just be observing?”

“...I can't be observing if you're not in my sights, now can I?” he countered.

She laughed a little. “Touché, Grey Warden.”

 


	4. The Joining

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay, no more flirting with Alistair. This is serious and you might die.  
> ...  
> Aaand already failing after two seconds.

* * *

 

 

Morrigan led them to her home where her mother Flemeth was waiting for them outside. Atrina held in a gasp when she saw Flemeth.

The Witch of the Wild looked more closely like her redesign in Dragon Age 2. The only thing that was different was she was in a simple dress and her hair didn't look so elaborate. She always loved the new look for her, so it was nice to see something that was close to it.

 _Not that I'll likely see her again after helping Morrigan later on anyways... Unless I wake up as Hawke one day and later on the Inquisitor... Ugh, please don't let that happen..._ she thought as she vaguely listened to Daveth go on about Flemth being a Witch of the Wilds.

“Quiet, Daveth! If she really is a witch, do you want to make her mad?”

“Now there's a smart lad,” Flemeth said. “Sadly irrelevant to the larger scheme of things, but it is not I who decides. Believe what you will.” She stepped towards Atrina, having been the only one not to speak yet. “And what of you? Does your elven mind give you a different viewpoint? Or do you believe as the others do?”

Atrina blinked at her not really sure what to say. “...I believe things are happening that we can't really explain and that whether we like it or not, we have to accept it...”

“Ha! There lies the answer I hoped to get. An open mind, yet more profound than I was expecting,” Flemeth said, holding an amused and curious look in her eyes. “Hmm, so much about you that is... different... uncertain...” she mumbled mostly to herself. “Why are _you_ here?”

“Um, I'm here to be a Grey Warden,” Atrina answered, feeling the conversation was going in a different direction than in the game. _Can she tell I'm not really from this world? Freaky..._

“Ah, but is that all? Seems there is more and yet... hmmm, no matter, you are here for your precious treaties, yes?” Flemeth asked after she stopped studying her.

Flemeth explained the seals wore off the scrolls long ago and she had been protecting them. Alistair expressed his surprise before she handed the treaties to Atrina.

“And why not? Take them to your Grey Wardens and tell them this Blight's threat is greater than they realize!”

“Thank you for protecting and returning them,” Atrina said as she opened one of the treaties to take a little peek.

“Such manners! Always in the last place you look. Like stockings!” Flemeth said, looking up to see everyone giving her odd looks. “Oh, do not mind me,” she chuckled. “You have what you came for!”

After pushing from her mother Morrigan showed them the way out of the woods. It was becoming evening by the time they returned.

She left them near the camps having decided they could make it back on their own from there. Atrina mentioned they should probably eat, seeing as it had been more than a few hours since breakfast.

The men agreed and did some hunting while Atrina got the fire ready with Alistair's help.

“And that's how you start a camp fire,” he said, grinning down at the flames as they started.

Atrina mirrored the grin. “Sweet! I'd ask you to teach me how to cook on an open flame, buuut...”

“Hey, now, I have a sort of idea... Enough to survive on at least... well, okay, that can be debatable,” he said thoughtfully, causing her to laugh.

Once Jory and Daveth returned with their kills the meat was cooked and they ate their fill. Alistair rounded the recruits up reminding them that the battle would start in a few hours.

“Once the ritual is complete, we can join the other Wardens to prepare for the battle,” he told them as they walked through the gates back into Ostagar.

“Give me a second, I'll catch up,” Atrina said, breaking off from the group.

“Where are you going?” Alistair asked as Jory and Daveth headed to the Grey Warden tent ahead of him.

“I just got to get these flowers to the dog keeper real fast,” she said.

After she gave the man the flowers, he told her to check back after the battle, to see if the mabari she had helped would imprint on her. She agreed to come back even though she knew there wouldn't be anything to come back to.

 _Hopefully the dog can make it out of Ostagar like in the game... Wish everyone could..._ she thought, turning to head to the tent.

To her surprise Alistair had been waiting for her. “Kind to both prisoners _and_ animals,” he pointed out.

“Is that so surprising?” she asked confused on what his point was.

He shrugged. “Just seems rare in this day and age,” he said simply, but he seemed happy with her. “Come on, they're waiting for us.”

 

Duncan greeted them when they joined the group. Atrina offered him the treaties and Alistair made mention of Morrigan and Flemeth. The elder warden reminded him that he was not a templar anymore and such things were left to the Chantry.

Duncan explained some of the details of the Joining telling them that becoming a Grey Warden requires sacrifice. Either it would be paid right in that moment or later on in life. Jory started looking concerned while Daveth wanted to hurry up and get it over with.

“May I see the vials?” Duncan asked, holding his hand out.

The three recruits each give him their vials of darkspawn blood. He then bid Alistair to take them to the old temple while he prepared everything for the ritual.

Without further delay Alistair led them to where Atrina had first met the younger Warden.

“Why don't we do the ritual in the tent? Why do it here?” she asked as they walked up the ramp.

“Well, for one, it's an old temple, used for this sort of thing in the past,” Alistair explained to her. “Another is that it's more secluded. The ritual has to remain a secret,” he continued. “We have a better idea if anyone is coming up here than we do if someone is sitting by the tent, listening in.”

“Huh, that makes sense.”

It didn't take long for Jory to start getting nervous and agitated again with the wait. Atrina watched as Alistair leaned against a pillar. He watched them silently before his eyes made a brief connection with hers. Something flashed in his eyes before he glanced away from her.

 _...Is he worried?_ Atrina wondered before Jory knocked her out of her thoughts.

“Why all these damn tests? Have I not earned my place?”

“Maybe it's tradition. Maybe they're just trying to annoy you.” Daveth answered tired of Jory's blubbering.

“You really think all we have to do is kneel before Duncan and he proclaims us as Grey Wardens?” she asked, crossing her arms as she turned to Jory. “We're not being knighted, Ser Jory.”

“If I had known before hand... I have my wife and child at home, it just doesn't seem fair that it was not explained what all was at stake.”

“You wouldn't have come then, would you?” she asked only for him to look away from her. “Being a Grey Warden is not about honor and glory, it's about doing what must be done to stop the Blight.”

“She's right,” Daveth said, agreeing with her. “Your pretty little wife and child won't survive if the Blight spreads across Thedas. Why don't you think about them, huh?” he said, making Jory wince. “I'd give up a lot more if I knew it would stop the Blight.”

“Maybe we will die... But honestly, this is bigger than any of us,” Atrina added though her voice was quieter than previously.

“I've just...” Jory began before sighing. “Never faced a foe that I could not engage with my blade...”

Duncan arrived forcing their discussion to come to an end. In his hands was a chalice and he explained in further detail what the Joining entailed.

A shiver went through Atrina when he told them how they had to drink the darkspawn blood and overcome the taint to become Grey Wardens. Suddenly she was worried that she would not survive.

 _I shouldn't be afraid... Wanda is right, I'm clearly supposed to be the Hero of Ferelden... But I still feel that I will die if I'm not careful... I managed to get away with a few cuts and bruises from the darkspawn in the Wilds, but that was then..._ she thought before Alistair spoke the words that had been passed down from Joining to Joining.

She couldn't help but bow her head as he spoke the words. It sounded like a prayer almost. She closed her eyes, taking in his words, before silently saying a prayer herself.

“Daveth,” Duncan began the moment Alistair was finished. He held up the chalice to the rogue. “Step forward.”

Daveth took it and drank from the chalice. When he started gagging, Atrina turned her head away, feeling horrified by what she was seeing. It wasn't until the noises had stopped that she turned back to look.

Jory backed away as Duncan offered him the chalice next.

 _Don't, you idiot!_ she thought as the knight unsheathed his sword out of fear and desperation.

When he realized that Jory wasn't going to do it willingly Duncan pulled out his dagger. Atrina flinched when she watched as he stabbed Jory when he resisted. Her body started to shake against her will.

“I am sorry...” Duncan said before removing his dagger from Jory's lifeless body. “But...” He picked back up the chalice and turned to Atrina. “The Joining is not yet complete.”

She glanced at Alistair who gave her a look of both sympathy and hope.

Hope that she would survive.

“Atrina.”

Her head turned to Duncan when he said her name. He held the chalice to her waiting for her to take it.

With shaking hands she took the chalice. She stared down at the dark red liquid in the bottom of the cup.

“You are called to submit yourself to the taint for the greater good,” Duncan said, urging her to drink it.

Inhaling deeply, Atrina held her breath, as she lifted the glass to her lips. The blood hit her tongue and she immediately wanted to spit it out. It took all she had to not gag as she swallowed.

When she was done, she handed the chalice back to Duncan, while wiping the corner of her mouth with the back of her hand. She felt sick to her stomach, but, other than that, she was feeling all right.

“From this moment forward, you are a Grey Warden,” Duncan said as both he and Alistair took a few steps away from her.

Atrina looked at them both in confusion as they backed away. Before she could voice her confusion, a piercing pain ran through her head. Grabbing her head, she stumbled back, tears forming in her eyes at the pain.

She could feel her eyes roll to the back of her skull as her vision went white. Sudden visions of a dragon filled her mind. Atrina wanted to scream, but her voice wasn't working. It was as if someone stuck a hot poker into her brain.

Finally, the vision of the archdemon left her, her vision returning to white. Suddenly, another vision began, this time it was of her. Sword in hand she ran towards the wounded archdemon. She could hear Alistair's voice shouting her name in the background just before she stabbed the archdemon. A light consumed her and a shock wave went through her body that knocked back everyone nearby.

“ _ATRINA!”_

She felt herself jolt awake as her eyes remained closed. Taking a moment to collect herself, her mind raced at what she saw, her heart still beating profusely.

 _What... what did I just see?_ she thought before calming herself down.

Slowly she opened her eyes half expecting to see Duncan and Alistair hovering over her.

She was surprised when she only saw Alistair's face and that she wasn't outside anymore. It took her a second to realize he wasn't actually looking at her, but seemed to be... praying?

“A-Alistair?” Her mouth felt unusually dry as she whispered his name.

His eyes snapped open before seeing her awake. “Thank the Maker...” he mumbled not realizing he said it out loud. He stood from his kneeling position and moved out of her line of vision. “Duncan! She's awake.”

Atrina took in her surroundings finding herself in a large tent. It took her a second but she recognized it as the tent of the Wardens. Candles were lit near the cot she was resting on.

She moved to sit up and discovered her body was feeling a little sore. When she finally was sitting up Alistair returned with Duncan.

“It is good to see you awake,” Duncan greeted, earning a nod from her. “How are you feeling?”

She opened her mouth to speak, but only ended up coughing.

Alistair moved over to her side and scooped some water out of a bucket. He handed her the ladle. “Here, you must be parched.”

She gave him a nod of thanks before taking a satisfying drink of the cool water. Letting out a breath she handed the ladle back to him. “Shaken... but a lot better than I was hoping I would be,” she answered Duncan's question. “How... how long was I out?”

“About two hours...” Alistair answered, getting some more water for her.

She gratefully accepted the water once more.

“In all my years as a Grey Warden that had to be the longest someone was unconscious for after preforming the Joining,” Duncan stated, looking down at her curiously.

“Really?” she asked, feeling surprised by that fact. _Though it could have to do with the fact that I didn't only just see the archdemon..._

“When you didn't wake up when we expected, we agreed to move you back to the tent where there could be less questions.”

“Yes, well, we still got some looks when I was carrying you back,” Alistair added, causing Atrina's eyes to widen a little at the idea of him carrying her. “There was even one mage that ran up to us and started demanding to know what we did to you.” He shook his head at the memory.

Atrina had to hold back a snort when he mentioned Wanda. _Of course she did,_ she thought, feeling happy to know that Wanda had noticed something was wrong.

“She wanted to wait for you to wake up, but got called back to the other mages by an older mage,” he continued. “Though, she told me to tell you that she would be careful in the battle as long as you were too, and something about seeing each other again later?” Alistair looked at her confused. “How do you even _know_ a mage?”

“Oh, uh...” Atrina felt cornered a little when she realized that there was no clear reason for her to know Wanda before coming to Ostagar. “We met here after she dropped some scrolls she was taking to her mentor,” she said not completely lying. “I helped her pick them up and we got to talking.”

Alistair stared at her almost not believing it. “Uh-huh...”

“In any case,” Duncan said, gaining the two young wardens' attentions. “When you are feeling ready, Atrina, I'd like you to accompany me to a meeting with the king.”

She suddenly felt her cheeks warm a little at the thought of King Cailan. “Um, all right.”

He nodded his head to her and Alistair before leaving the tent. She and Alistair stayed in silence for a moment before he sighed.

“Two more deaths...” He looked down and shook his head. “In my Joining, only one of us died, but it was... horrible,” he said before looking back up at her. “I'm glad at least one of you made it through.”

“You were praying for me... weren't you?” she asked softly, causing his expression to change to one of surprise.

“Uh... maybe I was. Why?”

Smiling at him she reached over and took his hand in hers. “Thank you... it means a great deal to me.”

In the candle light she could faintly make out the pink on his cheeks. “...You're welcome...”

His copper colored eyes almost glowed in the faint light as he stared at her. The look in his eyes caused her heart to skip a beat.

“Oh!” he said suddenly. “Almost forgot,” he said, letting go of her hand. “There is one last part to your Joining.” He pulled a necklace out of the pouch on his hip. “We take some of the blood and place it in a pendant. Something to remind us... of those who didn't make it this far.”

Atrina stood up from the cot. When her feet touched the grass she realized she was not wearing her mother's boots anymore. _Alistair must have taken them off..._ she thought before spotting her boots at the foot of the cot.

Looking back at him she took the offered pendant from him. “Thank you, Alistair,” she said before slipping it on. “Now...” She looked up at him with eager eyes. “When do I get my new armor?”

Alistair chuckled at her excitement. “I was wondering when you were going to ask about it.” He moved to a chest that was in a corner of the tent and opened it. “Ta-dah!” he said, turning around as he held up part of her new armor. “The rest of it is in the chest, but here's your official uniform for the Grey Wardens.”

With uncontainable excitement she took the uniform and held it against herself. “Gah! I can't believe this!” She jumped and down.

Alistair grinned widely at her being so happy. “Uh, well, I guess I'll let you get changed then,” he said before slipping out of the tent to give her privacy.

Once the entrance of the tent was closed Atrina quickly stripped down to put on her new uniform. She was able to get most of it on without any issues, but when she got to putting on the breastplate she started having trouble.

Groaning in frustration Atrina kept thinking about how she needed to hurry to the meeting with Duncan and the king. The thought just made her mess up more on getting the straps tightened which led to more frustration.

“Do you want some help?” Alistair called from outside of the tent.

She jumped a little having not expected him to still be there. “Um... if you don't mind?”

Alistair stuck his head in the tent with his eyes covered. “Is it safe?” he asked, causing her to laugh a little.

“No, I'm naked.”

“Oh, ha-ha,” he said sarcastically. “You're not... right?” he asked, hesitating to lower his hand.

Rolling her eyes while wearing a smile she walked up to him and pulled his hand down. “I was joking.”

“Oh,” he said, sounding disappointed. “I-I mean, good!” He rubbed the back of his head, grinning sheepishly.

“Nice to know you won't instantly look when a woman tells you she's naked.”

“Yes, well, I am a gentleman after all,” he said before asking her what she needed help with as he fully entered the tent.

She gestured to her breastplate that was sagging to the side. A chuckle left him at the sight before he motioned for her to turn around.

“Had a feeling this would give you trouble...” he mumbled as he worked on the straps, his attention focused on the task.

“Is that why you waited?” she asked, trying to ignore the slight tingling sensations she felt whenever his fingers brushed her back.

“Heh, yeah, I guess...” he mumbled as he leaned down closer to her. His breath hit the back of her neck, causing her to tense.

“How's that feel?” he asked, looking down at her over her shoulder.

Avoiding his eyes, she moved her shoulders, to get a feel of the straps. “I think...” she began, biting her lip. “Yeah, yeah that's good, though it's a little loose on the bottom.”

“That's 'cause I haven't done that part yet.”

“Oh, well, that explains it,” she said with a slight huff.

“Maker... you are short...” he grumbled, bending down further to get the last strap.

“Well, duh,” Atrina scoffed, causing him to pause. “I'm an elf, of course I'm short.”

“I-I didn't mean...” he began, then muttering an apology, before saying he was done.

“Alistair, you didn't offend me,” she stated before she looked at him over her shoulder to find herself nose to nose with him.

They stared at one another for a moment before they both took a step apart. Their blushing faces matched the other.

“U-um, if you don't need my help anymore,” Alistair stammered out, stepping back towards the entrance. “I'll just... be out here...”

Atrina nodded her head quickly giving him the signal he could go.

In a blink of an eye he was gone.

The elf let out the breath she didn't realize she had been holding as she moved to the cot. Sitting down, she put her hands on her cheeks, feeling the heat from her skin. Then she let out a silent squeal and kicked her legs in the air as she fell back on the cot.

A big grin appeared on her face as she giggled to herself. Suddenly, the conversation she had with Wanda came to mind.

“ _...and now seeing you here, I'm positive we're in a coma...”_

“ _I don't know... everything has felt..._ too _real...”_

Atrina sat up on the cot as her grin faded almost as fast as it had appeared. _What is wrong with me? If this is a coma, I have to go back to living a sad life... and if this isn't a coma..._

The image of Alistair becoming king and breaking up with her almost instantly broke her heart. _And the thought of him getting exiled or killed hurts just as much... Or... if that vision I had has any merit... I will die, leaving him heartbroken..._

Words echoed in her mind as she found herself thinking back to before she first woke up on Thedas.

“ _Don't you dare die on me this time.” Alistair ordered before he kissed her._

Atrina's cheeks heated up at the memory of the kiss before she placed her face in her hands.

“Oh, Maker...” she breathed softly as she hardly noticed that she was using Maker instead of God. “Don't make me have to decide...” she mumbled before standing.

 _I just can't get close to him and then no matter what happens, neither of us are too badly hurt... no more flirting... Man, this is going to be hard..._ she thought, knowing she was already in love with the character. _But, maybe it will be different getting to know him as an actual person? Maybe he'll start to annoy me?_ she thought while not believing it for a minute.

Deciding she would worry about it after she was out of Ostagar, she pushed the thoughts to the back of her mind, as she finished getting dressed. She stepped out of the tent and was instantly disappointed when she didn't see Alistair anywhere.

Without any further distractions she raised the hood of her rogue Grey Warden armor before heading to the meeting with Duncan, King Cailan, and Teyrn Loghain.

Atrina came in during the argument on either waiting for forces to come or continuing with the battle for that evening. She mentally sighed to herself as she joined Duncan's side.

“Then our current forces will have to suffice, won't they?” Cailan told Loghain before turning to Duncan. “Duncan, are your men ready for battle?”

“They are, your Majesty.”

“Ah, Lady Atrina.” Cailan seemed to brighten when he noticed her. “I hear congratulations are in order. I knew you'd be up to the task.”

Atrina returned the smile as she bowed a little. “Thank you, your Majesty. I am honored to be amongst the ranks of the Grey Wardens.”

“Your fascination with glory and legends will be your undoing, Cailan. We must attend to reality,” Loghain stated.

It took great concentration for Atrina to not glare at the teyrn as he and the king spoke of the strategy. Having already knew the plan, she half-listened to them, only to perk up when she heard the Tower of Ishal mentioned.

“Who shall light this beacon?” Cailan asked, glancing at Loghain.

“I have a few men stationed there. It's not a dangerous task, but a vital one.”

“Then we should send our best,” the king said before glancing at Atrina for a brief second. “Send Alistair and Lady Atrina to make sure it's done.”

“You rely on these Grey Wardens too much, is that really wise?” Loghain asked, looking spiteful over the fact that the king wanted the Wardens to light the beacon.

“Enough of your conspiracy theories, Loghain. Grey Wardens battle the Blight, no matter where they're from.”

“Your Majesty,” Duncan spoke, gaining their attention. “You should consider the possibility of the archdemon appearing.”

Atrina held in a scoff when both Loghain and Cailan dismissed the warning. _I know the archdemon doesn't appear here, but really, if you trust the Wardens, then take Duncan's word on this being a true Blight..._

The leader of the mages stepped forward, trying to explain how the tower and the beacon were not important because the king had the Circle of Magi with them. The reverend mother stepped in, quickly shutting him down and insulting him.

Behind her back Atrina sent her a glare. _Close minded woman... Shouldn't we hear everyone's ideas on how to battle the darkspawn?_

Loghain ended the argument before it got worse, stating the plan Cailan had would work. Once again Atrina had to resist openly glaring at him.

“Thank you, Loghain,” Cailan said, smiling before he looked at Atrina and Duncan. “I cannot wait for that glorious moment! The Grey Wardens battle beside the king of Ferelden to stem the tides of evil!” he said not noticing Loghain stepping away from them.

Even though she couldn't hear him she knew what the teyrn was saying to himself and she hated him for it.

Cailan dismissed her and Duncan shortly after giving them time to return to Grey Warden tent before the battle would begin. Duncan sent an elf messenger to fetch Alistair, who was apparently with the other Grey Wardens, getting ready for the battle.

“Atrina,” Duncan began when they were alone in the tent. “Is there something on your mind?”

Feeling herself tense slightly she looked at Duncan. “I... I just don't have a good feeling about this battle...” she admitted softly, glancing away from him.

“You will be fine,” he said, feeling she was worried about herself in the battle. “If anything goes wrong, Alistair will be there with you.”

Looking up at him her face showed concern and uncertainty. “Duncan,” she began feeling ready to tell of Loghain's treachery. “I nee--”

“You summoned me, Duncan?” Alistair came into the tent, unknowingly cutting Atrina off.

“Yes, the king has given you and Atrina an important assignment.”

Alistair looked confused. “Really?”

“Yes, you and Atrina will go to the Tower of Ishal and ensure that the beacon is lit,” Duncan explained, causing Alistair's face to fall.

“What? I won't be in the battle?” he asked as shock filled him.

“This is by the king's personal request, Alistair,” Duncan explained. “If the beacon is not lit, Teyrn Loghain's men won't know when to charge.”

“So he needs two Grey Wardens standing up there holding the torch. Just in case, right?” Alistair said bitterly.

“He actually requested us by name...” Atrina told him, earning another confused look from Alistair.

“Wait, he did?”

“Yes, and there will be more battles for us to fight in together, Alistair,” Duncan reassured him not noticing Atrina looking away at his words.

“All right, I get it. I get it...” Alistair said, giving in. “Just so you know, if the king ever asks me to put on a dress and dance the Remigold, I'm drawing the line. Darkspawn or no.”

Atrina couldn't stop the smile that appeared on her face at the mental image. “I'd actually like to see that.”

Without missing a beat Alistair looked at her. “For you, maybe... But it has to be a pretty dress,” he stated with a hint of a smirk.

She laughed a little only to try and stifle it when she heard Duncan groan at the flirting.

 _Oops... didn't I tell myself no more flirting?_ she thought before mentally scolding herself.

Duncan explained where they needed to go and how long they had to get there. Word would be sent if they were needed in the battle after the beacon had been lit.

He bid them farewell, saying he was needed with the king and the other Wardens.

“Duncan...” Alistair began, catching the older Warden's attention. “May the Maker watch over you.”

“May He watch over us all,” Duncan replied before leaving the tent.

Alistair sighed with annoyance. “I can't believe this... Why would he ask _us_ to light the beacon?” he asked, looking at Atrina for an answer.

She shook her head not really understanding why herself. It always just how the game went and it was always how the Warden and Alistair survived the battle...

“Maybe he doesn't trust the teyrn's men to light it in time?” she offered only for him to shake his head.

“That doesn't make a lick of sense...”

 _It does to me..._ she thought before moving to resupply her pack with health poultice and potions. “We should stock up and get ready.”

“Right...” he said before following her example.

At the last second Atrina grabbed the treaties off the table. _We're going to need these..._ she thought before following Alistair out of the tent.

 

The battle was underway as Atrina and Alistair fought their way to the top of the tower. When they reached the top Atrina realized how hard it really was to fight an ogre.

It snatched her up and roared in her face. She was only able to break free because Alistair slashed at its legs at the same time Atrina stabbed it in the eye.

The creature roared in pain before finally being slain. Alistair pulled her out of the way when the ogre fell forward, almost crushing her.

She breathed heavily as she leaned against him. “Th-thanks...”

“You're welcome,” he said, looking down at her. “You all right?”

She nodded pushing lightly off of him. “Yeah, just needed to catch my breath... We need to light the beacon.”

Alistair looked out onto the valley below to see the battle raging. “Do it,” he told the mage that was with them.

Using his magic, the mage lit the beacon, the fire lighting the tower. They stood and watched the battle unfold, waiting to see Loghain's men join the fray.

Atrina looked away knowing they weren't coming. Hearing a noise, on the other side of the room, she looked up to see darkspawn infiltrating the tower. “Alistair!” she cried out just before they started attacking.

Trying to fight she missed seeing the arrows flying at her until it was too late. She hit the ground hard and the last thing she saw was Alistair trying to fight his way to her side.

“Atrina!”

 

Darkness surrounded her, but it wasn't as quiet as she would have expected. Voices kept calling out to her, some screamed her name, others cried.

A few she could hear laughing, not mockingly, but with love. At times a vision or two would come to her. Sometimes it was memories of her life back in her world, sometimes they included Wanda, other times they were about her mother.

Her mother screaming at her about how Atrina was why her father left. The memories caused her to shake. Without realizing it she thrashed about.

“Shhh, child, 'tis but dreams...” a voice whispered to her, sounding oddly like Flemeth's, before a warm feeling went through Atrina, calming her down.

“What's happening to her? What did you do?” Alistair's voice called, sounding panicked.

“Her thoughts are wild and if she doesn't calm down, she may not heal properly...”

Their voices faded as another vision filled her mind. This one was of an elven woman, smiling and laughing.

 _...Mother?_ Atrina thought as the vision of the elven woman consumed her.

Slowly she started to awake hearing some shuffling and smelling something cooking. Opening her eyes she saw a figure moving around a pantry. It took her a moment to realize it was Morrigan.

“Ah, your eyes finally open,” the mage said when she noticed the elf looking at her. “Mother shall be pleased.”

“Morrigan?” Sitting up Atrina realized she was resting in bed in only her undergarments. Thankfully the sheet was actually over her body instead of under. _Glad it's not like how it is in the games..._

“I see you remember me, that is something indeed,” she said, walking over to her. At seeing Atrina's lost look, Morrigan continued. “You were injured, and then Mother rescued you. Do you not remember?”

Atrina's eyes went wide as she suddenly remembered the tower. “I do, yes... Not the part of your mother rescuing me though,” she said, looking around the hut. “Where's Alistair? Did anyone else make it?”

“You mean the dimwit who travels with you? He is outside... Not taking things so well, I'm afraid,” Morrigan said before revealing how Loghain had left the battle once the beacon was lit and that everyone who had fought was now dead. “He has been in denial and grief since Mother told him. He is outside by the pond. Mother asked to see you when you awoke.”

Atrina nodded before standing. “Where are my things?”

Morrigan gestured to the chest at the end of the bed. “It is all there and mended with Mother's magic.”

“Thank you,” Atrina said before opening the chest and retrieving her items. She put on everything expect her breastplate knowing she'd have issues with it again. “Why did she save us? Was she watching as things happened?” she asked, turning to look at Morrigan as she placed her pack on her back.

“She tells me nothing, but yes, she was watching, as was I. Perhaps you two were the only ones she could reach?” she offered. “I would have rescued your king. A king would be worth a much higher ransom than you.”

“Very true... How did she save us?” Atrina asked. For some reason she couldn't remember how Flemeth saved them in the game. _Why can't I remember?_

“She turned into a giant bird and plucked the two of you from atop the tower, one in each talon,” Morrigan explained. “If you do not believe that tale, then I suggest you ask Mother yourself. She may even tell you.”

“Right... I guess I should go speak with her then.”

“I agree. 'Tis time you speak with Mother then be on your way,” Morrigan said, gesturing to the door for her to leave.

“Thanks you for the help, Morrigan,” Atrina said as she moved to leave.

“...It was not I that saved you. Mother tended to your wounds and nightmares,” the woman replied softly before turning away from Atrina to tend back to the stew that was cooking by the fire.

Atrina watched her work for a moment before leaving the hut. The sun shown high in the sky and its brightness blinded her for a moment.

“See? Here is your fellow Grey Warden. You worry too much, young man,” Flemeth said as Atrina rubbed her eyes a little.

“Atrina!” Alistair gasped, and before she knew it, he was standing in front of her, his hands on her shoulders. “You're alive, I thought you were dead for sure.”

She looked up at him with wide eyes as he looked at her as if she would vanish. “Alistair, I'm okay--”

“You had _three_ arrows in you!” he all but shouted at her. “For three days you didn't wake...” he said, looking away from her. “If it weren't for Morrigan's mother, you would be dead...” he said softly, releasing his hold on her. “We'd both be dead on top of that tower...” He ran his hand over his face. “This... this doesn't seem real...”

“Do not talk about me as if I'm not present, lad.”

“I-I didn't mean...” Alistair began, looking at the older woman. “But what do we call you? You-you never told us your name...” he said, unknowingly reminding Atrina that she was the only one out of the two of them that knew Flemeth's name.

 _All her names..._ she thought as the woman introduced herself.

“Names are pretty, but useless. The Chasind folk call me Flemeth. I suppose that will do.”

“ _The_ Flemeth from legends? Daveth was right...” he said as shock came over him. “You're the Witch of the Wilds, aren't you?”

“And what does that mean? I know a bit of magic, and it has served you both well, has it not?”

“Thank you for your help, Flemeth,” Atrina said, stepping forward. “But we can't stay here... we need to keep moving, don't we?” she asked, looking at Alistair.

“I-I... I don't know... Why... why didn't you save Duncan?” he asked, looking back at Flemeth, looking broken. When he tried to speak more Atrina put a hand on his shoulder. “He is--was... our leader...”

“I am sorry for your Duncan, but your grief must come later...” Flemeth stated. “In the dark shadows before you take vengeance, as my mother once said. Duty must come _now_.”

“Alistair...” Atrina said softly, earning his attention. “I... I know this is hard, but she's right...” Her hand gripped his sleeve. “The Blight is still happening...”

“But we _were_ fighting the darkspawn! The king nearly defeated them! Why would Loghain do this?”

 _Because he's a selfish bastard that didn't want the Orlesians to help us..._ Atrina thought bitterly as Flemeth talked a list of reasons why he might have done it.

She was quiet as they talked back and forth about the archdemon and the other Grey Wardens from Orlais. They had been summoned by Cailan, but Alistair figured Loghain would do something to stop them from coming.

Flemeth talked of the tales of the archdemon, saying only fools ignore history. “You are Grey Wardens, are you not? You need to fight.”

“By ourselves? No Grey Warden has ever defeated the Blight without the army of a half-dozen nations at his back.”

Atrina's head popped up. “The treaties!”

“What?” Alistair asked, looking at her in surprise as she bent down and dug into her pack.

“The Grey Warden treaties that state we have the right to summon the Dalish, the dwarves, and more, to help us,” she said before pulling out one of the scrolls.

“Of course! And the Circle has to help us too!” he said, taking the scroll from her hand and looking it over. “...I know who else can help us,” he said, looking back down at her.

“Who?”

“Arl Eamon, he's Cailan's uncle. He won't stand for what Loghain has done. I know him, he's a good man,” he told her. “Well respected in the Landsmeet. We have to go to Redcliffe and appeal to him for help!”

“I may be old, but dwarves, elves, mages, this Arl Eamon, and who knows what else...” Flemeth said, giving a knowing look as she crossed her arms. “This sounds like an army to me.”

Alistair looked back at Atrina. “So... can we do this? Go to Redcliffe and these other places and... build an army?”

“Well... it won't be easy...”

Flemeth laughed. “And when is it ever?”

Alistair had a new determination in his eyes as he spoke about how they had to, because he and Atrina were the Grey Wardens. She felt her heart swell at the light in his eyes.

 _He really would be a wonderful king..._ she thought to herself before Flemeth said she had one more thing to give them.

Morrigan came out at that moment asking if they would be staying for dinner. Flemeth was quick to offer her daughter up to join them.

“...Consider this as repayment for saving your lives.”

“I--what?” Morrigan looked at her mother in shock. “But, Mother! This isn't how I wanted this. I-I am not even ready--”

“You must be ready,” Flemeth cut her off. “Alone, these two must unite Ferelden against the darkspawn. They need you, Morrigan. Without you, they will surely fail, and all will perish under the Blight. Even I.”

After Flemeth convinced her daughter to go, she turned to the Grey Wardens. She instilled in them that she was giving them the one thing she valued above all in the world. Atrina nodded and gave her word that Morrigan would not come to harm with them.

When Morrigan went to get her things Alistair pulled Atrina aside.

“Do you really want to bring her along just because her mother says so?” he asked, still feeling unsure.

“She could help us, I think... You never know,” she said not sure what else to say to convince him.

“Hmm... maybe...” he said before sighing. “The Grey Wardens have always taken allies where they could find them...”

Morrigan rejoined them stating she was at their disposal. She suggested making Lothering their first stop. After asking questions to get to know her better Morrigan bantered with her mother and then with Alistair.

 _This is going to be fun..._ Atrina thought before Alistair asked if Morrigan could cook after the mage listed off some of her skills.

“I... can cook, yes.” Morrigan looked at Alistair strangely.

Atrina held back a small laugh. “Um, would you mind cooking for us? Alistair's a terrible cook and I've never learned how to cook over a campfire.”

“I... suppose I could.”

“Oh good, now I won't have to worry about killing you with my cooking,” he said, causing Atrina to laugh.

 


	5. Deep Talks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When you name your new war dog after a character from another video game...  
> Oh look! Less flirting, but now we have hugs. Hugs are nice and friendly, right?

* * *

 

 

The travel to Lothering was a quiet one, with Alistair barely saying a word, staring off into the distance at nothing, and Morrigan leading the way, hardly saying anything herself. Atrina was left to her own thoughts which she wasn't sure was a good idea. They stopped only once to eat giving Atrina a moment to pull out her journal to write in.

“Writing our tale for future generations, hmm?” Morrigan asked, noticing how intensely the elf was writing.

Glancing up at her Atrina smiled a little. “You could say that.”

 _It's mostly for me though..._ she thought, looking back at the notes she wrote from memory.

A brief history of her life and of where she was from. She also wrote about what she knew could happen at the Landsmeet once Arl Eamon called it.

 _If only I actually played the other endings... I don't know what happens if Alistair_ isn't _king... I just know it's possible for him to either stay a Grey Warden or to be executed/exiled..._ she thought, remembering how upset Older Alistair (only thing she could think to call him) had been when she revealed that she had made him king in the game. _Still don't understand why I'm here... He said he wanted me to fix things... like what? What went wrong for him? And what did he mean by 'don't die on me again?' He talked as if I was actually the Hero of Ferelden..._

A bark knocked her out of her thoughts, causing her and her companions to look up in time to see a mabari running towards them.

“Oh!” Atrina quickly put her things away as the dog ran up to her.

He barked at her before quickly turning around and growling in the direction he came from. A cold shiver went through her, causing her to look at Alistair. He returned the look before confirming what she was feeling.

“Darkspawn!”

Morrigan turned into a giant spider as the darkspawn appeared. The Grey Wardens shared another look at the sight of the mage being a spider before pushing forward to help her and the dog fight.

The darkspawn were quickly dispatched and Morrigan returned to her human form.

“What kind of magic is that?” Alistair asked, looking at her as if she grown another head.

Morrigan scoffed. “Old magic, if you must know.”

While the two argued Atrina knelt down as the dog came up to her. “Hey, boy!”

“You know this mongrel?” Morrigan asked, looking at the dog with disgust.

“He's the dog I helped back at Osatgar,” Atrina answered as she scratched the dog behind his ears. “Who's a good boy?”

The dog barked in response.

“I think he was looking for you,” Alistair said, coming up beside her. “He's... chosen you. Mabari are like that. They call it imprinting.” He knelt down next to her and looked at the dog with interest.

“Does this mean we're going to have this mangy beast following us about now?” Morrigan asked, scoffing. “Wonderful.”

“He's not mangy!”

“I've always wanted a dog,” Atrina said happily before the dog barked and licked her cheek, causing her to giggle. “Easy there!”

“How odd. We now have a dog and Alistair is still the dumbest one in the party,” Morrigan stated, crossing her arms.

“Oh, ha-ha,” Alistair said, standing up.

“Hmm... what should I name you?” Atrina asked the dog, who just tilted his head at her.

 _I could go with the name I gave him in my female Cousland play through..._ she thought before voicing her decision. “I think Grunt will work.”

Grunt barked in response happy with the name.

“Grunt? Really?” Alistair asked, sounding unsure of it.

Looking up at him Atrina pouted a little at his reaction to the name. “What's wrong with Grunt?”

“Well, mabari are normally given names of heroes,” he said before noticing her pout. “B-but he's your dog, so, it's your choice...” he added, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

Grunt suddenly started licking her again showing he loved the name. Atrina laughed before lightly pushing him off. “Okay! I'm glad you at least like the name,” she said, receiving a bark in reply.

She hugged him around the neck before whispering in his ear to where the others couldn't hear. “You're named after a hero... just not one anyone here knows... He's a powerful krogan and a great ally,” she said, grinning at him as she pulled away.

Grunt's tail wagged happily at the information even if he didn't know what a krogan was.

“Okay, now that's settled... let's get going again,” she said, looking back at her companions.

They cleaned up the camp and Atrina gave Grunt a bone to chew on before they left.

 

Lothering came into view, causing Atrina to let out a sigh. “Finally...” she mumbled before they were confronted by men claiming to be collecting a toll for the Imperial Highway.

After beating them in battle the rest of bandits were convinced to leave and never come back. Atrina was able to get some silver off of them before they left however.

“Well there it is. Lothering,” Alistair said, looking down at the village. “Pretty as a painting.”

“Ah. So you have finally decided to rejoin us, have you?” Morrigan asked. “Falling on your blade in grief seemed like too much trouble, I take it?”

He turned to her in disbelief. “Is my being upset so hard to understand? Have you never lost someone important to you? Just what would you do if your own mother died?”

“Before or after I stopped laughing?”

“Right, very creepy... Forget I asked...”

Atrina sighed, causing them to look at her. “What's on your mind, Alistair?”

“His navel, I suspect. He certainly has been contemplating it for long enough,” Morrigan quipped.

Atrina leaned her head back looking up at the sky as they started bickering again. When they finally stopped Alistair asked her where they had planned to go after Lothering.

She straightened her head and looked at him in surprise. “Wait... you're asking me?” she asked, pointing to herself.

“Well... yes, I am,” he told her before sighing. “I don't know what the best course of action is.”

“And you think I do?” she said not believing he was actually having her to decide. _I know this happens in the game and it was more of a plot thing, but even then I found it strange he did that..._

“Well, you led well while we were in the Wilds...” he said, frowning. “I've... never _been_ a leader,” he admitted, earning a haughty laugh from Morrigan.

“Is that supposed to be surprising?”

“Morrigan...” Atrina said with a slight warning in her tone.

“The _point_ is... I _know_ you can lead. I've seen you do it and I-I trust you,” Alistair said his cheeks slightly pink.

She bit her bottom lip as she glanced away. The only reason she felt even slightly qualified to lead was because she had an idea on what to do and that was only because she played the game before. “Well... do you have an opinion?”

“Well, there's the treaties,” he began. “You've read them, right?”

“Yes... we have three main groups we have treaties for.”

“That's right,” he said before listing them off. “Though, I still think Arl Eamon is our best bet. In fact, we might want to seek him out first?”

“Well...” she said unsure of which they should do first. “Maybe we should go to the local tavern and see if they have any news? I mean, we don't know what's really happened since Ostagar...”

He nodded. “All right, I'm not going to fight about it.”

Sighing at him for seeming annoyed with her she shook her head. _He wants me to lead and then gets annoyed when I say we should see if there's news first...Geez, men,_ she thought before walking ahead of them. “Come on, let's see if we can stock up.” _Just need to get Leliana and Sten... Find out what I can about what's happening everywhere and maybe get something hot to drink..._

They stopped by the Chantry first and learned about Arl Eamon being sick. The Arl's soldiers were all looking for the Urn of Sacred Ashes in hopes of healing him. Alistair was upset about the news.

Atrina reassured him that they would go to Redcliffe and see what was happening. Her words relaxed him a little.

It didn't take them long to find Leliana, having her try to stop Loghain's men from attacking them. That worked about as well as it did in the game and the usual fight commenced. After they defeated the men, leaving one alive, Atrina told him to deliver a message to Loghain.

“Tell him that the Grey Wardens know the truth... and all this death that he has caused will all be for nothing because the Blight is the true threat to all of Ferelden. He's divided the kingdom at the worst possible moment...”

“I'll tell him. Right away. Now. Thank you!” the soldier said before running out of the tavern.

Leliana turned to them. “I apologize for interfering, but I couldn't just sit by and not help.”

“Appreciate the help, honestly,” Atrina said, smiling a little.

“I am glad you found it in your heart to offer those men mercy. Let me introduce myself. I am Leliana, one of the lay sisters of the chantry here in Lothering,” she told them. “Or I was.”

“I'm Atrina, this is Alistair and Morrigan.”

“For a Chantry sister, you sure know how to fight,” Alistair said, raising an eyebrow.

Leliana laughed a little. “I wasn't always a cloistered sister, you know,” she said before looking back at Atrina. “You are a Grey Warden, yes? And you will be battling the darkspawn? That is what Grey Wardens do?”

“Um... yes?”

“Don't say it like it's a question...” Alistair said with a slight groan, causing the brunette to look back up at him over her shoulder.

“Well... I wasn't expecting her to ask so many questions at once...”

“Anyways, I know after what happened, you will need all the help you can get,” Leliana said, recapturing their attention. “That's why I'm coming along.”

“Wait... what?” Alistair asked, looking at Leliana as if she was crazy. “You can't be serious.”

“Why do you want to come with us?” Atrina asked, earning a smile from her.

“The Maker told me to.”

“More crazy?” Alistair asked, leaning close to Atrina's ear. “I thought we were all full up.”

She sent him a little glare before looking back at Leliana. “What do you mean He told you?”

Leliana then explained how she had a vision from the Maker, telling her to join their quest. Giving them more reasons to let her join them Atrina smiled to herself.

“All right, we could use all the help we can get.”

Leliana gave her a big smile. “Thank you! I appreciate being given this chance, I _will not_ let you down.”

“Wonderful, another mouth to feed,” Morrigan complained.

“Come on... let's see if we can get some food and something to drink,” Atrina said, moving to the bar.

The bartender explained they didn't have anymore room in the tavern, in which Atrina reassured him that they would not need it. They just wanted food and information.

“You two are Grey Wardens... Just know my grandfather was a Grey Warden, Maker rest his soul. I won't tell others about you, but you might want to ditch the armor... Loghain has warrants out for all Grey Wardens.”

“What?” Alistair asked shocked. “I know that one soldier said the Grey Wardens led the king into a trap, but I didn't actually think people _believed_ that.”

Atrina groaned as she got off her bar stool. “Come on, Alistair... let's go change...” she said, dragging him to the back when the bartender told them it was open for them.

“B-but, you can't be serious! We shouldn't be hiding who we are,” Alistair stated as Atrina shut the door behind them.

“Alistair, believe me, if I felt we had a choice, I would wear this armor my whole entire life,” she told him, causing him to look away from her. “But, Loghain is the one in power... not us... he has more influence over Ferelden than we do... at the moment.”

He looked back at her. “You really think we can do this? I know I asked before...”

“Yes,” she told him, walking up to him. “Because we have to...” she said softly. She reached up and started helping him undo the straps of his armor. “I have some armor that I picked up, you should be able to use some of it for awhile until we find something better...”

Alistair sighed before taking off the metal of his armor. He motioned for her to turn around so he could help her. “If Duncan were here...”

“I know... things would be different...” She glanced back at him and saw how sad he looked. “...Do you want to talk about it?”

She felt him pause in working on her straps before he sighed softly. “You... you don't have to do that...” he said, getting back to work. “I know you didn't know him as long as I did...”

“I know he was like a father to you... At least the way you spoke of him...” she said, feeling him stop completely working on her straps. She pulled the breastplate off as she turned to him. “I understand... I've lost someone important too, Alistair. It... it always helped me to talk about it.”

He looked away from her shaking his head. “I... should have handled it better. Duncan warned me right from the beginning that this could happen,” he said, looking over her shoulder at a spot on the wall. “Any of us could die in battle.” He looked back down at her. “I shouldn't have lost it, not when so much is riding on us, not with the Blight and... and everything. I'm sorry.”

Atrina shook her head. “You don't need to apologize.”

“I'd... like to have a proper funeral for him...” he said, moving away from her as he started to take off more of his armor. “Maybe once this is all done, if we're still alive.” He took off the top part of his uniform. “I don't think he had any family to speak of.”

Atrina blushed before turning away from him when he started taking off his boots and his pants. As he continued speaking she pulled out the splint mail armor from her pack. “He had you...” she said not looking at him as she handed him the armor.

“I suppose he did...” he said before noticing how she wasn't looking at him as she held out the armor. “Ah, sorry! Wasn't thinking...”

“It's fine,” she said still not looking at him, her eyes closed. “Continue your thought.”

“Um... right,” he said as he took the offered armor. “It uh... probably sounds stupid, but part of me wishes I was with him. In the battle. I feel like I abandoned him.”

 _You're not the one who had before hand knowledge of what was going to happen..._ she thought as guilt riddled her. “...Me too...” she said as she turned around to face away from him.

He looked at her in surprise after he got pants on. “...We'd both be dead then...”

Atrina hugged herself. “Yes... That wouldn't have made him happier.”

“No... it wouldn't have...” he said before putting on a fresh under shirt. “I'm decent now, by the way.”

Atrina cautiously peeked at him over her shoulder before relaxing when she saw he was dressed. “Sorry,” she said sheepishly.

He gave her a small smile. “Nice to know you won't peek on a guy changing,” he teased lightly.

She returned the smile. “Now it's your turn to turn around.”

He pouted a little causing her to laugh. “Fine, fine,” he said, turning around as she got changed.

Atrina left the undershirt she had been wearing on, but took off the pants. Looking through her pack she let out an 'ah-ha!' when she found a pair of shorts.

“What?” Alistair asked, resisting looking over at her as he put on his splint mail breast plate.

“Just found something I needed,” she said, slipping on the short-shorts. She ended up putting back on the armor she wore to Ostagar. “I can't wait to get better armor... You can look this way, now.”

He glanced at her as he worked on the legs for the armor she gave him. “Agreed,” he said, as he finished putting on the splint mail armor.

Atrina turned around and smiled at the sight of him in the familiar armor. “I don't know, it's kind of fitting on you.”

He looked down at himself and made a face. “I think it's safe to say we disagree on that,” he said before looking back at her. “Though, I have to say leather armor doesn't look too bad on you either.”

Atrina rolled her eyes. “That's because I'm in a skirt.”

“Kilt,” he corrected, causing her to roll her eyes again.

“Whatever, let's go,” she said, packing up her Grey Warden armor.

When they were done Alistair moved to the door. “After you,” he said, opening it

She gave him a smirk. “You just want to watch me walk away.”

“What? N-No! I was just--” he stammered, blushing a little, which made her giggle.

“Just teasing you,” she grinned before walking out first.

He followed behind her grumbling about women and their teasing. They met back up with Morrigan and Leliana, who were having a one-sided conversation (Leliana was doing the talking while Morrigan rubbed her temples). After getting some food they left the tavern.

As they walked out of the building gossip from two men floated over to them.

“Did you hear? The Circle has grown quiet.”

“What? What's happened?”

“Don't know, but I think something happened to the mages, the templars are all tight-lipped about it... I hear a rumor they are planning to invoke the Right of Annulment...”

Atrina froze at the words her eyes widening in shock. The others paused to look at her.

“What? What's wrong?” Alistair asked.

“...We have to go to the Circle...” she said her eyes remaining wide.

“What? Well, yes, that's the plan--”

“I mean we have to go before we can go to Redcliffe,” she said quickly, causing him to stare at her in shock.

“You... you can't be serious? Arl Eamon is _dying_ and you want to go to the _mages_ first?”

“Wanda is there, I have to save her!” she said, turning to him, looking extremely distraught.

“Wanda-- wait, the mage you met at Ostagar? You don't even--”

“Yes I do! She's my best friend! If something happened to her, I-I...” She started to shake. Grunt moved next to her and leaned lightly against her.

Leliana walked over to her and hugged her helping her calm down. “Shh, we will save your friend, Atrina...”

Atrina nodded hugging Leliana back. She glanced at Alistair who looked away from her while looking angry and upset.

 _I'm sorry, Alistair..._ she thought before collecting herself.

Before leaving Lothering, they collected Sten, Atrina convincing him to join them to seek out atonement for his crimes. With Leliana's insistence, and against Morrigan's complaints, they helped out the Chantry before they departed from Lothering.

“It will give them more time to focus on helping the villagers and refugees more when they have to evacuate,” Leliana told them, looking pleased that they helped so much.

Just before they left, they saved Bodahn and Sandals Feddic from a small scouting of darkspawn that had appeared on the highway.

The older dwarf looked at them with gratitude. “Timely arrival there, my friend. I'm much obliged.”

“You two all right?”

“Just a few broken crates and the wagon now needs fixing, but other than that, my boy and I are all right, thanks to you,” Bodhan said as he patted the younger dwarf on the shoulder. “Bodhan Feddic at your service, milady: Merchant and entrepreneur. And this is my son, Sandal. Say hello, my boy.”

Sandal looked at her with his bright blue eyes. “Hello.”

Atrina smiled. “Pleasure.”

“Say,” Bodhan began. “Mind if I ask what brings you out here? The roads have been mighty dangerous these days, so you don't see too many traveling. Perhaps we're going the same way?”

Atrina shared a look with Alistair. “It's possible, but that depends on how you feel about traveling with Grey Wardens.”

Bodhan's eyes widened. “Grey Wardens, hm? My does rather explain a lot... No offense, but I suspect there is more excitement on your path that my boy and I can handle. Allow me to bid you farewell and good fortune.”

“Perhaps we'll see you on the road later on,” Atrina said before bidding them safe travels as well.

As Bodahn and his son worked on cleaning up what was left of their things, Atrina and her group of misfits headed out of Lothering.

 _Huh, I forgot to see if Hawke was there... Oh well, probably for the best,_  she thought as they traveled.

 

They made camp that night and everyone dispersed into their own little areas. Atrina watched Alistair sit by the fire looking solemn. She bit her lip before gathering up her courage and walking over to him.

“Mind if I join you?” she asked softly.

He didn't glance up at her, but gave a little nod, showing he heard her. Sighing, she sat down next to him, watching the fire for a moment.

“When we're done at the Circle we'll go to Redcliffe next, I promise,” she said suddenly, wanting to break the silence between them.

“I know...” he said, staring into the fire.

“Are you...” she asked hesitantly which caused him to look at her. “Upset with me?”

“What?” His serious look turned into one of surprise. “No! No, I'm not upset with you. I mean, I was a little at first, but it all works out really, you know.”

She blinked at him for a moment as she felt confused. “How so?”

“The Circle is just a day away from Redcliffe, at least the lake it is on,” he explained. “So we pop into the Circle, make them get their heads out of their arses and tell them we need their help with the Blight. Then we go off to Redcliffe to see what's going on there,” he said as if this was a sure thing. “So, yeah, no, not upset with you. It actually makes more sense than to just go out of our way to get to Redcliffe.”

She felt as if a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. “Oh thank goodness,” she said, placing her forehead on his shoulder, suddenly feeling both tired and relieved.

He looked at her in surprise, but didn't make any movements to remove her. “That worried, huh?” he asked, chuckling.

“Yeah, well... you just looked so _serious_ after I said we should go to the Circle...”

“Hey! I can be serious too, you know,” he huffed, causing her to giggle.

“Yeah, I know, but it wasn't the same kind of serious I was used to, I guess.”

Alistair chuckled softly but it didn't sound right to her ears. “I know I've been... quiet, I guess...” he said, looking down at his hands as he fiddled with the ring on his finger.

She raised her head at his statement. “You have that right to be...” she told him, causing him to look at her.

“Do I really though? I mean... here I am, the...” he trailed off his jaw tensing a little. “The only 'senior' Warden left in Ferelden... and I just _force_ you to take the role as leader...” He looked back down at his ring as his thumb traced the faded symbol.

Atrina's hand covered his giving it a soft squeeze. “We're a _team_ , Alistair. I might be the 'leader', but you're the one with the knowledge.”

“Not a lot of it...”

“More than you think, I say,” she told him. “I couldn't do this without you.”

He looked up at her and his eyes were soft as they studied her. “...And you won't have to...” he told her, taking hold of her hand and squeezing it in return.

Atrina felt her stomach twist in knots at his unwavering gaze. “Good... I'll hunt you down if you disappear on me,” she teased. Happy to hear him chuckle at her words she wrapped her arms around him in a hug.

Alistair looked down at her in surprise at the hug. “Um....”

“You don't have to hide your feelings from me, you know...” she told him, keeping her face low to hide the blush she currently had on her cheeks.

She felt him hug her back before resting his chin on her shoulder. No words were spoken between them for a long time.

“...I think Duncan came from Highever,” he whispered suddenly before she pulled back and looked up at him. “Or so he said. Maybe I'll go up out there sometime...” He looked away from her and looked back at the fire. “See about putting up something in his honor. I don't know.”

Atrina smiled softly at him. “That sounds like a great idea. I'd like to join you when you do that.”

He glanced back at her. “Really?”

She nodded.

He stared at her for a moment. “Have you... you mentioned that you lost someone too...?” he asked before quickly backtracking. “N-not that I mean to pry or anything, I'm just... I remember you mentioning it back in the Wilds about your fiance...?”

She looked at him for a moment before turning to look at the fire. “He was my betrothed... actually... It hurt when he died, but...” she trailed off, looking solemn.

“I'm sorry... I shouldn't have asked.”

Atrina shook her head. “No, it's all right...” she said, looking back up at him with a soft gaze. “I actually had a fiance before him, one that I chose... but he... he died two years ago.” She took his silence as an invitation to continue. “He... was a soldier... Human soldier.”

As she thought about Sam she couldn't help but picture him dressed in metal armor instead of dressed in his tactical vest that she had seen him wear. Placing a hand on her head, she closed her eyes, trying to think about it.

_Why are my memories changing? Is being in Thedas causing my memories to reflect it?_

“...You don't have to talk about it, you know...” Alistair said, taking her pause in talking as a sign that it was difficult to continue.

Shaking her head, at both him and her thoughts, she gave him a half smile. “It's fine. Though, it must sound strange to hear about how an elf and a human fell in love,” she said, looking down at her lap.

“Well, I don't think so,” he said, smiling down at her. “I'd honestly love to hear about it...”

Looking back up at him she smiled a little more brightly at him. “If you're sure... well, we met before he was a soldier... I was doing some work at the local tavern and we just started talking... My...” she trailed off, about to say 'mother' but according to how her memories were changing, it was Cyrion, her elven father, who had been against it. “Parents,” she said instead, feeling it was safer. “Weren't necessarily fond of the idea. But we didn't care... we wrote every day when he left to be a soldier... One time when he returned, he proposed to me, planning on marrying me the moment he had enough money for his service to the ar--king... But, his squad was attacked by raiders...”

She felt Alistair give her shoulder a squeeze making her aware that he still had an arm around her. Giving him a small smile she continued. “I found out after the only survivor came by the Alienage... having been asked to deliver the news to me personally by Sam...”

“Sam? Your fiance?”

“Yes...” she said, looking back up at Alistair. “He was the man that I loved, while my betrothed, Nelaros, was a man, another elf, that my father picked out for me. He died trying to save me though, so he has a special place in my thoughts too.”

“...I'm sorry... I've been going on and on about Duncan...”

Atrina made a face before lightly flicking him on the nose.

“Ow! What was that for?”

“I _told_ you not to apologize, remember?” she said lightly poking his nose. “I mourned Sam a long time ago and I have mourned Nelaros. You deserve to mourn Duncan. His death is fresher than any of the deaths I've had in my life.”

Alistair chuckled lightly. “Okay, okay, I get it...” he said, turning back to look at the fire.

“Good,” Atrina said, raising her head a little. “...And I didn't flick your nose that hard.”

“Tell that to my nose,” he said, rubbing it again. “Anyways... thank you.”

“Hm? For what?”

“For... you know...” he said, shifting a little, his arm sliding off her back. “For talking with me about Duncan... it's helped, at least a little.”

She gave him a warm smile. “You're welcome, Alistair. Talk to me anytime you need to, okay?”

He nodded smiling back at her. “You might regret saying that one day.”

Laughing a little, she leaned back on her hands, looking up at the evening sky. “Doubt it.”

 


	6. Of Dreams and Towers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wanda's in danger and Atrina doesn't have time for monologues.

* * *

 

 

They traveled for over ten days, making camp at night and leaving early morning. _The games spoiled me..._ Atrina thought with annoyance. _It never takes this long, a cut scene here, and a loading screen were all I had to wait on. I can understand now how it took them over a year to stop the Blight._

There had been points where she wanted to just keep going, she even went ahead and made them not make a full camp a few times, wanting to go quickly the next morning. She hardly slept because every time she closed her eyes, her mind went straight to the tower, the abominations taking Wanda.

It wasn't until both Leliana and Alistair confronted her about how exhausted she and everyone was that Atrina finally relented.

“You need sleep, you will not be of any use to your friend in this state,” Leliana told her.

“You can't keep functioning like this, none of us can. And I know you haven't been sleeping, so don't even try to pretend,” Alistair stated, stopping her before she could state she was fine.

Atrina glared tiredly at him before sighing at their words. “Fine, okay...” she said before they set up camp for the night even though it was still early evening.

They then forced her to retire early, in which she, once again, relented to. As she fell asleep she briefly realized she would most likely have the dream with the archdemon now. What she didn't expect was another dream to follow immediately after.

Blood, there was so much blood. Atrina's hands shook as she covered the wound with rags. Alistair was breathing heavy short breaths. Every other breath he took Alistair would groan or gasp in pain.

“Idiot! Why would you do that?” she asked him as she felt tears well up in her eyes.

Wynne was next to them and was continuously trying to heal him. “I... I don't understand, it doesn't seem to be helping like it should...”

“That is because of the curse,” a bald dalish elf said as he walked up to them. “If not for my clan, bring me Witherfang's heart for your comrade.”

Atrina looked up at the elf with wide eyes. “Y-you... you can save him?”

“Yes, but I need the heart and you must bring it soon or else he will start to change.”

Atrina looked back down at Alistair and took in how pale he was. She leaned down and kissed his forehead. “Hold on for me...”

“I will keep him sustained while you and the rest of your companions seek out Witherfang,” the elf said as healers from his clan arrived to work on Alistair.

Atrina woke up with a gasp before sitting up quickly in her tent. Placing a hand on her head she looked at the ground with wide eyes. “W-what was that?”

“Atrina?” Alistair's voice called from outside her tent.

Her head shot up at the sound of his voice. “Y-yes?” _He's okay!_

“You all right?”

“Um, yeah, hang on...” she said, getting up. She pulled on a pair of pants and a large shirt.

Exiting her tent she saw it was barely dawn. _Did I sleep that long?_

Alistair was waiting for her standing near her tent. When he saw her walk out he looked at her with concern. “Bad dreams?”

Blinking at him she nodded her head a little. “Yeah... It was...” she said as she stared at him for a moment. _He's okay, it was just a dream... right?_ she thought, glancing away from him. Every time she looked at him she could see the blood. _Too real... it felt too real._

“It was the archdemon, am I right? Giant dragon? Over looking the horde of darkspawn?” he asked in a knowing tone.

Nodding her head she hugged her arms around herself. “Yeah...”

“...Part of being a Grey Warden is being able to hear the darkspawn... that's what your dream was.”

Looking back up at him she saw him study her. “So... all that roaring and fire blowing... was it like talking?” she asked as she thought back to the dream about the dragon. _I know the answers... but I need to hear him talking..._

“In a sense, and we feel it as the darkspawn do... That's why we know this is truly a Blight...” he said, looking away from her and towards the fire that was softly burning.

“Did Duncan... did he tell the king about this?”

“Of course he did, or he tried to at least, but hardly anyone believes dreams... It's hard to explain what we know to someone who hasn't gone through the Joining,” he explained before putting a hand on her shoulder. “It takes a bit, but eventually you can block the dreams out. Some of the older Grey Wardens say they can understand the archdemon bit, but I sure can't. Anyhow, when I heard you thrashing about in your tent, I thought I should tell you... it was scary at first for me too.”

She nodded. “Thanks, Alistair...” she said, offering him a small smile. _But what about the other dream? I don't understand what I saw... Was it the future? Why was he bleeding? What did he do? Who was the elf?_ she questioned.

“That's what I'm here for. To deliver unpleasant news and witty one-liners,” he said, grinning at her as he caused her to smile more at his attempt to cheer her up a little. “Now that you're up, you want to get going? We still have a little bit of a journey before we get to the tower.”

“Ah... let me freshen up a bit... I can't go to a Circle of Magi dressed like this,” she said, gesturing down to her shirt that was too large for her and her bare feet.

“Oh, I don't know, maybe whatever is going on over there will stop when they see your cute bed hair.” He raised a hand to her head before smoothing down some of her hair.

She blushed as her hands went to her head. “Ugh, why didn't you tell me before?” she groaned, moving back into her tent.

Chuckling at her disappearing into the tent, he only stopped when he felt something hit him in the back. “Ouch!”

“Ooops, _bad_ belt!” Atrina poked her head back out and grabbed her belt off the ground.

“That was uncalled for,” he said, sulking as he rubbed his back.

“ _Never_ make fun of a woman's hair, Alistair,” she called as she got changed into her armor.

“I concur,” Leliana said, stepping out of her tent. “It's a good thing you didn't say anything like that when she wasn't getting enough sleep.”

“I-I wouldn't! I called her bed hair cute,” he said, trying to defend himself.

“And that makes it better?” Atrina asked, stepping out of the tent, braiding her hair.

“You got dressed fast.”

“That's because I don't have to deal with the breastplate for the Warden armor,” she stated, finishing her braid and flipping it over her shoulder.

“If you all are done lulling about, breakfast is ready,” Morrigan called from the fire she had made away from the rest of them. Grunt ran over to her immediately and began begging for the food. “No! Not for you, you mangy dog!”

He whimpered in response turning his puppy eyes to Atrina when she came up to him. “Aww, Morrigan, he's got to eat too!”

“He can find something else to eat! Or at least wait 'til we all have had some.”

“Fair enough,” the elf said, petting Grunt behind the ears. “Just wait your turn, okay?”

Grunt pouted before moving to lay by the fire. Atrina smiled as she watched him before looking around. While the others were getting food she noticed a certain qunari had not joined them.

“Sten? Aren't you going to eat?” she asked, walking over to the edge of the camp where he stood.

“Someone has to keep guard while you leisure about,” he stated in his normal cold tone.

“You can still eat...” she said, but he only gave her a look before going back to watching the woods around them.

Atrina sighed a little before going back to the others. A few minutes later, she returned, handing him some food. “Eat.”

He looked down at her, his stare intimidating. He was much taller than her and, with his usual expression, scared her quite a bit.

Refusing to let it be shown, she kept her face neutral, still holding the deer meat up for him to take. “I mean it, eat.” Without a word to her he took the meat. He didn't move to take a bite which didn't surprise her. “Enjoy it, Sten,” she said, waving to him as she turned to leave.

When she was further away she glanced back over her shoulder to see him eating the food a little. Smiling to herself, Atrina rejoined the rest of her party, happily digging into her portion of the meal.

After breaking down the camp they continued on their journey to the tower. They had an encounter with a few bandits, but Sten and Alistair made quick work of most of them. Leliana used her bow on the archers and Morrigan sent spells at the men, taking care of them with ease.

Atrina looked down at Grunt. “I don't feel so needed right now.”

Her dog sort of huffed in response seeming to agree with her. She laughed a little before hearing a shout of pain. Looking up she spotted Alistair stuck in a bear trap.

“Yikes!” She ran over to him careful to avoid any other hidden traps. “Need some help?”

“Yes, would appreciate that,” he said wincing.

“Hold still...” She knelt down beside him and looked over the trap. _Okay... I see how this works!_ she thought before placing a hand on each spring. Pressing down as hard as she could, the jaw slowly started to open, easing up on his ankle.

Alistair forced the jaws open more before getting his ankle out of the trap. The moment his hands were clear, Atrina released the springs and jumped back when the trap snapped shut once more.

“Th-thanks...” Alistair said, smiling at her as he sat on the ground.

“Anytime... just, try to avoid them again?” she said, moving closer to him to look at his ankle.

“Hey, it's not my fault they were covered.”

“Leliana, can you see about disarming some of the others?”

“Already on it,” Leliana responded, disabling a trap.

“Looks like your boot is dented,” Atrina told him. “Take it off.”

“Pretty sure that's the only thing that's dented,” he said, pulling his boot off.

Atrina giggled at the hole that was in his sock. “I think you need new socks.”

“Ha-ha,” he said, rolling his eyes as he pulled up his pant leg.

There was a little bruising on his ankle, but nothing else seemed to be wrong. Lightly touching it she only felt slight swelling where the bruises were. “Hurt anywhere besides the bruises?”

“No, and I'm fine, really,” he said before slipping his boot back on.

“Awe, and here I was, ready to lend a hand in amputating your foot,” Morrigan said, smirking at him.

“Well, today just isn't your lucky day, is it?” he asked, standing up.

Atrina shook her head as she went to help Leliana with the traps. Together they got all the ones that were directly on the path. They then helped themselves to the money and trinkets that the bandits had been carrying.

“Okay! Let's get going, shall we?” she asked, waving for the others to follow. “Traps are good now! Just don't step off the main path.”

“I see you are feeling better,” Leliana said, walking beside her as they continued traveling.

Atrina looked up at the redhead before thinking about how she was feeling. “Yeah, I guess I am.”

Leliana smiled at her words. “Ah, good! See what a little beauty sleep can do?”

She smiled a little. “Thanks for pushing... I just feel like I have to do everything fast...”

“It is important to stop the Blight, yes, but it is also important to take care of yourself too,” the bard said, giving Atrina an understanding smile. “Oh! I know! At some point, I insist we go shopping!”

Atrina giggled. “Now that sounds like fun! If Wanda can join us, I know she'll want to come along!”

“We can find some beautiful dresses, maybe even convince Morrigan to join us!” Leliana said with excitement.

Atrina laughed. “Uh, I don't see her as the type to go shopping for dresses.”

“Well, why not? She has lived in the Wilds all her life, yes? She might find she likes shopping.”

“What are you two whispering about?” Morrigan asked, throwing them a suspicious look.

Atrina and Leliana shared a look before giggling. “Nothing for you to worry about,” Atrina answered.

Morrigan's eyes narrowed more before she rolled them.

 

It was evening when they arrived at Lake Calenhad. The moons shone high in the sky as they overlooked the lake. The Circle of Magi stood tall, causing Atrina to whistle at the sight. “Wow!”

“How very fitting that they would build a prison for mages in the middle of a lake and make it look like a giant phallus,” Morrigan said, scoffing.

Atrina titled her head to the side squinting at the tower. “Huh... I guess it does.” She blinked at it for a moment before moving to the docks to see if they could get a ferry.

After talking with the ferryman, Kester, they learned they needed to talk to the templar at the docks to see if they could get a ride to the tower.

“No one gets to the tower. No one!” the templar said the moment Atrina walked up to him. “The tower is off-limits to all!”

“We're here for official Grey Warden business,” Alistair told him. “We need to get in there.”

“Oh, you're a Grey Warden, are you? Prove it.”

Atrina pulled out one of the treaties. “We have documents--”

“Ah, yes, a Grey Warden seal. So you're claiming to be one of _those_.”

“Um... we _just_ said we were Grey Wardens--”

“You know, I have some documents, too. They say I'm the queen of Antiva. What do you think of that?”

Atrina rolled her eyes. “I didn't know royalty did templaring as a side job.”

“Oh, ha-ha. If you can't prove you're Grey Wardens, then I'm not letting you in.”

“We have Grey Warden armor also,” Atrina said, pulling out the griffon that went on her uniform.

“Ha! Then why aren't you wearing it, hmm?”

“Because Loghain has put a bounty on our heads,” Alistair stated bitterly.

“Look, let us cross or I'll have my qunari use your face as a shield,” Atrina growled, causing everyone to look down at her in surprise.

The templar looked at Sten, who glared at him. “U-uh... well... I suppose I can take you... But I can only take three of you,” the templar stated.

“I am perfectly fine with not going,” Morrigan stated already walking away from the group.

 _That's odd... I was always allowed to bring three companions..._ Atrina thought, glancing at the remaining companions. “Morrigan, wait, you're a mage, I think I'm going to need your help.”

The apostate scoffed as she turned back to her. “You are going into a tower _full_ of mages. Surely my assistance is not required for _this_?”

“Look if she doesn't want to come, don't force her,” Alistair said, coming up next to Atrina. “I'd rather she stay here anyways. Get a break from her.”

Atrina sighed. “No, I'm sorry, Morrigan, but I really think we'll need your help on this.”

“Well, if I go I refuse to just be with Alistair.”

“Oh look, something we agree on!”

“Enough!” Atrina ordered, causing the two of them to look at her, dropping their glares.

Turning to the templar Atrina stepped past him and looked at the ferry. “There is plenty of room for all of us on here. Is there any way we can convince you to let everyone come?”

The templar raised his chin. “Well... after threatening me, I don't see how much help you can be to me... Though, I am feeling a bit peckish...”

“Parshaara!” Sten said suddenly. “Here! Munch on these if you like.”

“Ohh, cookies!” the templar said with excitement as Sten gave him cookies.

Atrina blinked before looking back at Sten. “Um... where did you get the cookies?”

He explained he got them from the last village they were at, taking them from a chubby little boy.

“Wait, wait,” Alistair said, looking astonished. “You stole from a _child_?”

“For his own good.”

“Riiight, can you take us now?” Atrina said, feeling anxious.

“Well, come along,” the templar said, leading them to the ferry after he was satisfied.

 

When they arrived at the tower the templars were scrambling about with Greagoir giving orders to keep the doors closed.

“The doors are barred. Are they keeping people out? Or in?” Alistair asked before Greagoir noticed them.

“Who are you? I explicitly told Carroll not to bring anyone across the lake.” He glared at them. “We are dealing with a very delicate situation. You must leave, for your own safety.”

“I'm sorry, but we can't. We're Grey Wardens, coming to seek aid from the Circle against the Blight,” Atrina said while keeping the real reason she was there to herself. _I know we need the mages help... but Wanda is more important to me..._

Greagoir explained the situation at the tower, how abominations had overrun the Circle. All the templars were waiting on now was the Right of Annulment.

“Are you serious?” she asked, feeling shock over the information. _Wait, I know this, why am I surprised?_

“The mages are probably already dead. Any abominations remaining in there must be dealt with no matter what,” Alistair answered, causing her to wince.

“You don't know that...”

“This situation is dire. There is no alternative-- everything in the tower must be destroyed so it can be made safe again,” Greagoir said before receiving a glare from the elf.

“The mages aren't defenseless! I bet you some are still alive.”

“If any are still alive, the Maker Himself has shielded them. No one could have survived those monstrous creatures. It is too painful to hope for survivors and find... nothing.” The knight-commander looked at the ground with a forlorn expression.

“Then I'll find the survivors,” Atrina stated, receiving shocked looked from both her comrades and the templars.

“I assure you, an abomination is a force to be reckoned with, and you will face more than one.”

She raised her head high as she stared him down. “I can handle it.”

Greagoir sighed before giving in. “If you succeed, I would owe you much, enough that I would pledge my templars to your cause. Without word from Denerim, I must determine our course. Surely destroying darkspawn is a worthy goal.”

“Then we have an agreement?” she asked, receiving a nod from him.

“A word of caution... once you cross that threshold, there is no turning back. The great doors must remain barred. I will open them for no one until I have proof that it is safe. I will only believe it is over if the first enchanter stands before me and tells me it is so. If Irving has fallen... then the Circle is lost, and must be destroyed.”

“...That's fair.”

“May Andraste lend you Her courage, whatever you decide.” Greagoir nodded to her and she returned it.

“Atrina, are you mad?” Alistair asked as he pulled her aside. “You're risking too much for your friend.”

She held back a sigh. “This is something you have to understand about me, Alistair,” she said, turning to him and looking him dead in the eye with her hands on her hips. “My friends are my _family_. If they are in trouble in any way, I will be there.”

He stared at her with astonishment. When she held his gaze with an unchanging expression he realized she wasn't about to back down. A sigh left him as he held his hands up in surrender. “All right, I'll help you.”

Her expression softened into one of relief. “Thank you,” she said genuinely.

For a moment it seemed he wanted to ask her something, but decided against it. “Lead the way.”

After restocking on some supplies with the templars' quartermaster, they journeyed further into the tower. The templars locked the doors behind them, giving them only one clear path. The moment Atrina saw the dead bodies in the corridor she immediately started running.

“Wanda!” she called as she ran, forcing the others to chase after her.

She ran past the rooms, not caring to loot anything like she would have while playing. Coming to the end of the hall she pushed open the door. “Wanda?”

The sight of children cowering behind adults and pillars greeted her. She caught sight of Wynne defeating a rage demon before the mage turned as the others caught up with their leader.

“It's you!” Wynne said as she recognized Atrina from their brief conversation in Ostagar. “No... come no further. Grey Warden or no, I will strike you down where you stand!” she said as she held her staff in a fighting position, ready to take them on if necessary.

“I'm not here to fight you!” Atrina said quickly as she held up her hands to show she wasn't holding her weapons.

Wynne's stance relaxed. “I will accept that, for now. But what are you doing here then?”

“We came to get help from the mages with the Blight,” she answered as she looked around, praying to see a familiar face.

“And you were told that the Circle was in no shape to help you, I suppose. So why did the templars let you in? Do they plan to attack the tower now?”

“They're waiting on reinforcements, actually,” Alistair answered as Atrina was distracted.

“So Greagoir thinks the Circle is beyond hope,” Wynne said as she began pacing. “He probably assumes we are all dead. They abandoned us to our fate, but even trapped as we are, we have survived. If they invoke the Right, however, we will not be able to stand against them.”

“Okay, going to fast forward this,” Atrina said suddenly, causing everyone to look at her in surprise. “One, Greagoir will only let you all out of here if we get Irving to tell him that the tower is safe. Two, we're not going to let them invoke the Right. Three, yes, we will help you take back the tower,”

Morrigan stepped forward. “You want us to assist this preachy schoolmistress?” she asked, looking at Atrina in disbelief. “To rescue these pathetic excuses for mages? They allow themselves to be corralled like cattle, mindless. Now their masters have chosen death for them and I say let them have it.”

Atrina turned to Morrigan with a glare. “My best friend is in this tower somewhere! If we have to fight the freaking archdemon to get to her, then by Andraste's flaming sword, we _will_!” she stated, earning a jaw dropping expression from the apostate. “Now,” she said, turning back to Wynne. “Where is Wanda? Why isn't she here?”

Wynne looked at her with great confusion. “Wanda? H-how could you possibly know Wanda?”

“See, that's what I said!” Alistair said suddenly before shutting up when Atrina sent him a glare.

“Look, it doesn't matter how I know her, just tell me where she is, please.”

“Last I saw Wanda was with Irving. He ordered me to get the children to safety and Wanda went after Irving to help him...”

Atrina's eyes widened. _Wanda, what were you thinking?! You know what happens in the game!_ she thought even though she had been having trouble in remembering what exactly happened. All she could remember was that Irving and Wanda were in danger. _I know it's bad and that's all that matters at the moment..._

She felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked up to see Alistair beside her. “We'll find her,” he said softly, giving her more comfort than he realized.

Taking a deep breath Atrina turned to the others. “Okay, so we need to hurry then... Wynne, if you could explain what all as happened while we're heading in there, I'd appreciate it.”

“Before we go, I would like to stay behind to help protect the children,” Leliana said. “I can lay traps to notify us if any demons or abominations should slip past you.”

“All right, it would be quicker to move in a smaller group... Sten, would you stay behind as well?”

The qunari grumbled a little. “Very well...”

“Grunt,” she said, turning to her faithful companion. “I want you to help protect the children, all right?” she said before earning a huff before he barked in agreement. “Good boy,” she said as she scratched him behind the ear. He licked her hand before she stood back up straight.

Atrina turned to Morrigan to see her looking at her with disdain as she stood away from the rest of the group. Taking a deep breath she started walking over to her. Feeling a hand on her shoulder however caused her to pause. Atrina looked behind her to see Alistair giving her a look of concern.

She smiled at him. “I just need to talk to her for a moment.”

His look, nor his hand, dropped. “I still think she's trouble.”

“I know, but I'll be fine,” she said before walking away from him. “Trust me.”

His hand slipped off her shoulder when he didn't protest. She sent him another smile over her shoulder before turning away.

Morrigan's look of disdain didn't fade as Atrina stood in front of her. Knowing the mage wasn't going to speak first, Atrina began, “Look, I'm sorry I snapped at you--”

Morrigan scoffed. “Apologizes are meaningless. A way to guilt the one receiving the apology. So do not waste your breath for I do not need to hear it.”

Atrina sighed. “All right...”

“But,” Morrigan began with a thoughtful look. “I have a thought on how you can make it up to me, if you truly wish to.”

Atrina raised an eyebrow at her before gesturing for her to continue.

“We have an opportunity that I believe we should take advantage of,” she continued. “To the point, my mother was once divested of a particular grimoire by a most annoying templar hunter. It occurred long before I was born, but even today Flemeth speaks of the loss with great rage. With the Circle of Magi in such disarray, it occurs to me that this might be the perfect time to recover the tome from their possession, for surely it eventually ended up in their hands.”

Atrina looked at her with surprise before remembering the conversation in the game. “Okay... But where would it be?”

“Possibly some place dark or in the First Enchanter's office.”

Atrina brought her voice down to a whisper. “I don't think Wynne would take kindly to us stealing from Irving's office...”

“I merely want to see if it even exists,” Morrigan explained. “If it does, surely the mages here have no use for it, even if all were interested in the old magics. It is written in a language long since dead and only I and Flemeth can still read it. Just sate my curiosity on it, hm? If it is not here then I can put it out of my mind, but if it is here...”

“You can learn the spells that Flemeth refused to ever teach you?”

“Yes, exactly,” Morrigan said with a smile. “I can use the tome to increase my power which would in turn increase my usefulness to you.”

Atrina rubbed her forehead a little. “I'll look for it, but Wynne's not going to like it if I steal from the tower.”

“Do not worry about the spinster,” Morrigan stated. “If we are not fighting abominations, I can think of many ways to keep her distracted.”

Atrina gave her a look. “...No maiming or killing.”

Morrigan rolled her eyes. “Fine, fine.

Afterwards Atrina, Alistair, Wynne, and Morrigan ventured off into the tower, making their way up to the second floor. They found the tranquil Owain, who told them about Niall and the Litany of Adralla.

After they moved on from Owain, they continued through the tower, fighting their way through blood mages, abominations, demons, and possessed templars. After finding Irving's office, Morrigan set off to distract Wynne by having debates over apostates versus circle mages.

Atrina slipped into the office as they argued, silently praying it wouldn't turn into a fight between the mages. She began searching the room and picking any and all locks and chests to find the black grimoire.

“What are you doing?” Alistair whispered behind her, causing her to jump.

“Maker's bride, Alistair!” she whispered as she turned to him with a hand over her heart. “How in the world are you so sneaky in that armor?”

Alistair rolled his eyes. “Oh, I'm just very light on my feet. Have to be to be a templar, you know.” He shook his head. “And you're changing the topic here.”

She scoffed lightly. “No, I'm just wondering how you're so sneaky! Anyways, I'm just-- uh...” she trailed off when she realized that he might not be too happy to learn that she was helping Morrigan steal from the tower.

“You're what? Breaking into other people's things?”

She blushed in embarrassment. “Um... I was looking for something...”

He narrowed his eyes a little. “Atrina, I don't think your friend is hiding in a chest.”

She put her hand over her mouth to try and stop the laugh that was coming. “No! I'm not looking for her in here.”

“Well, I figured that much,” he said as he gave her a look. “Are you going to tell me or do I have to keep making bad jokes until you laugh yourself to death?”

She rolled her eyes, but the smile on her face didn't leave. “All right, all right, fine. Anything but laughing to death, _please_!” she joked. “I'm looking for a black grimoire...”

He raised an eyebrow at her. “You're not a mage-- unless you've been lying to me this whole time.”

“No, no, it's not for me. It's for... um...”

A sigh left Alistair as it dawned on him. “It's for Morrigan, isn't it?”

Atrina looked at the ground and shuffled her feet. “Um, maybe...” She looked back up at him to see him wearing a scowl. “L-look, it was her mother's long ago. It was taken from her by a templar--”

“For good reason I'm sure,” he said not letting up on the scowl.

Atrina sighed. “Alistair, I know you don't like her--”

“Because she's an absolute _bitch_ , so of course I don't like her.”

“And you're right, she is,” she said, earning a surprised look from him. “But I honestly think, deep down--”

“That she actually has a heart?”

“Yes, Alistair, I do. And she's an ally--”

“And the mages will be too, so I don't see how stealing from them is exactly a good idea.”

Atrina groaned softly as she turned away from him. “You weren't this stubborn in the game.”

“What was that?” he asked, having only heard her mumble.

She let out a sigh. “Nothing...” she said as she turned back to him. “Please, can you help me look? Morrigan and Wynne won't be arguing for much longer.”

He opened his mouth, ready to tell her that no he wouldn't help her, when he saw her giving him a pleading look. The words were lost on his lips as she looked up at him with her big chocolate brown eyes. Her pink lips were in a slight pout as she looked at him both hopefully and pleadingly. A soft groan left him as he felt himself relent. “Fine, I'll help...”

Atrina jumped for joy before hugging him around his torso. “Thank you! I'll make it up to you!” she said with excitement before she pulled away.

He stood there for a moment with a stunned look. “Um... yes, I'm holding you to that,” he said as he mentally shook himself.

Atrina gave him a big grin when he looked at her and Alistair felt his stomach turn into knots. A smile suddenly appeared on his face and he wasn't really sure why. _I'm helping her steal and I'm smiling. Maker, did I hit my head?_

“Okay, you look high and I look low?” she suggested as she pointed to the bookshelves.

He nodded before they set out to look. “You said it was black?”

“Yes, leather-bound and has a picture of a leafless tree on it,” she said as she looked on Irving's desk. “I would have thought he would have kept it in a chest...”

“Maybe he was looking at it for himself? Trying to figure out the secrets of _the_ Flemeth?” he offered as he pulled a book out to look at. “Hmm, no this isn't it.”

Atrina hummed as she carefully sifted through the items on the desk. When she didn't find anything on the book she put everything back. “...What if we can't find it because he hid it with magic?”

Alistair walked over to her and leaned against the desk as she sat down in Irving's chair. “Could be... Though I might be able to cleanse any magic in this room...”

She looked at him in surprise. “You... you can do that?”

“I did train to be a templar, remember?” he reminded before standing up straight and closing his eyes for a moment. Before her eyes he started to glow slightly as he crossed his arms. He flung his arms out and the glow on him flew off his body and spread out into the room.

Atrina felt the hairs on her arms stand on end as the glow extended over her. A shiver went through her once it was over. “Wow... wish I could do that.”

He turned to her and smiled. “Well, even if I taught you, you wouldn't be able to learn it. It takes a warrior like me and you're trained as a rogue.”

She pouted a little. “Fine, fine... Maybe Leliana can teach me to be a bard or something,” she said as she stood up. “Anything look different?”

Alistair looked around before spotting a chest in the corner of the room. “...I don't think that was there before.”

Atrina turned to where he was looking and brightened. “Wow! That cleanse area really worked!” She moved over to the chest and went to pick it. “Oh... it's not even locked.”

“Hmm, maybe he thought no one could take the ward off?” he said as he moved to join her.

Atrina shrugged as she opened the chest before sifting through its contents. “...Ah-ha!” she said before pulling out a leather-bound book. “This is it!”

“Wardens? Where are you?” Wynne's voice called from the other side of the door.

“And that's our cue to go,” Alistair said as he closed the chest as he pulled Atrina to her feet.

Atrina quickly stashed the book into her bag as Alistair moved her away from the chest. The door opened just as they were halfway to it.

Wynne looked at them with surprise. “What are you two doing in here? This is Irving's office.”

“Uh--” Alistair started before Atrina cut him off.

“Sorry, Wynne, I got curious to see if I could find anything more about Uldred in here. Alistair came in here to drag me out,” Atrina lied smoothly, causing Alistair to look at her stunned.

Wynne narrowed her eyes a little. “And what, pray-tell, did you find?”

“Well, it seems the First Enchanter thought Uldred was a good man, who supposedly helped him in finding those who are 'blood mages', though I think it was the opposite in truth...”

“So Uldred would have less mages to fight against him...” Wynne thought over her words. “That must mean... this was something planned for a long time...”

“It seems that way...”

Wynne shook her head. “This is worse than I thought... Can I see what you found?”

Atrina nodded. “Sure, I left it on the desk.”

The mage walked over to the desk as Alistair moved closer to Atrina. “I've got to say I'm a little scared at how well you lied just now...” he whispered.

She glanced at him and shrugged. “Well, it's not a _complete_ lie... I did find papers talking about Uldred. And I've been thinking about it for a little bit so I knew what to say.”

He narrowed his eyes a little at her. “Have you ever lied to me?”

She looked at him with a little surprise and blinked. “Why I'm surprised you would even ask me that!” she said as she glanced away.

“That wasn't a no, Atrina,” he pointed out.

She huffed a little. “Well, have you been fully open about yourself with me, Alistair?” she asked, giving him a knowing look.

His eyes went wide as looked away from her. “I, uh...”

“We all have our secrets,” she said as he looked back at her. “When we feel more comfortable with one another, I'm sure we'll be telling each other everything.” _Well... maybe not everything..._ she added silently. She doubted he would believe her if she told him she wasn't really from Thedas. How would she even explain that? _Could give him my journal I guess..._ she thought before seeing Morrigan standing in the doorway.

“Well?” Morrigan said as she gestured Atrina over to her.

Atrina smiled when she joined her outside of the office. “I couldn't have found it without Alistair,” she said as she pulled the book out of her pack.

Morrigan's eyes widened in disbelief as she took the grimoire. “I... When I spoke of it to you, I did not truly hope...” she said as she held up the book before hugging it to her chest. “But this is a most fortuitous event! You have my thanks. I will begin study of the tome once we leave the tower. I do not want to risk those vultures to try and take it away.”

“You're welcome,” Atrina said still smiling. “Though... you should thank Alistair too. As I said, I couldn't have found it without him.”

“Let me guess, he had to reach a higher shelf?” she asked as she did not believe he did anything important in finding the tome.

Atrina resisted rolling her eyes. “No, the tome was in a chest that was hidden by magic. He used a skill he learned while training to be a templar to help me find it.”

Morrigan raised an eyebrow. “Truly? Hmm... I suppose even dimwits have their uses.”

Atrina shook her head. _The bickering was funny in the game, but now... Now I'm stuck in the middle for real..._

Alistair and Wynne rejoined them before they set out once again on their quest to get to the top of the tower. They fought their way up to the fourth floor where Atrina remembered too late about Sloth.

Atrina didn't even speak as Wynne shouted at the demon about the mage unconscious on the floor before them.

“Wouldn't you like to just lay down and... forget about all this? Leave it all behind?” the demon said just as Atrina felt a wave of exhaustion come over her.

_Uh-oh..._

Her companions spoke around her, but she didn't hear them. She felt her body fall back as the Sloth demon's words lulled her to sleep.

“You deserve more... You deserve rest. The world will go on without you...”

She was unconscious before her body hit the ground.

 


	7. Mending the Circle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fade dreams are different when you're more than just the Grey Warden...  
> And best friends are reunited. Wanda is still convinced it's all a dream while Atrina is unsure...  
> Who is right? Who is wrong? What will happen?

* * *

 

 

Atrina stretched in bed after she woken up. _What a fun and strange dream. Wish I could have slept longer to see how it ended,_  she thought before sitting up on the air mattress.

She looked around the room that had been hers growing up, but was now sort of converted into an art studio. Pictures of her, her mother, and her father hung on the walls as inspiration for her mother to paint. It felt odd seeing the pictures after the dream she had. Her home life was so different and then suddenly being in a video game in the dream left her with a weird feeling.

Getting out of bed she took a deep breath before changing into a t-shirt and jeans. Leaving her room she walked into the living room and was almost immediately greeted by her mother with a warm smile.

“Good morning, sweetheart!” Her mother came over and hugged her tightly. “How did you sleep? I hope that air mattress didn't give you trouble last night?”

Atrina shook her head. “No, all good.”

“Princess! You're up!”

Atrina turned to see her father walking in through the backdoor. “Good morning, Dad!”

“More like afternoon! Your mother insisted that you should be allowed to sleep in,” he said, coming to give her a hug. “I've already started the barbeque.”

“Really?” Atrina asked, looking at the time. “Oh gosh...”

“You had such a long trip that I thought you needed more sleep,” her mother explained.

Atrina waved her off. “It's fine... I actually had the strangest dream last night.”

“Oh? Well, tell us all about it! The food's still cooking,” her dad said, moving to the living room. He patted the spot next to him for her to sit on the couch.

Atrina sat down next to him. “Well... I got sucked into this video game--”

“Like the movie _Tron_?”

“Well, not exactly. More like a character came out and sent me through this... I guess it was a portal?” she answered as she tried to remember the details. “Though... it's a little fuzzy...”

“Oh, you and your games,” her mother said, rolling her eyes.

Atrina frowned when her mother showed her dislike for video games. “You know they've helped me through a lot...”

“Have they?” her mother asked, looking confused before the doorbell rang.

“Could you get that, Atrina?” her father asked, sharing a wink with her mother.

“Um, are we expecting someone?” she asked, standing up. Sending her parents a suspicious look when she only received smiles, Atrina moved to the door and opened it. A man stood on the porch, dressed in green camouflage for the Army.

He raised his head and smiled at her. “Hey, Trina, long time no see.”

Atrina felt her heart stop when she saw his face. “S-Sam?”

He grinned widely at her before stepping forward and swooping her into his arms. Laughing, he spun her around, before setting her back down on the ground. His had cap flown off, revealing his crew cut light blonde hair.

When he set her down she went back to look at him in shock. Placing her hands on his cheeks she felt tears start to appear in the corner of her eyes. “B-but, they said you died...”

He looked at her confused, but still smiling. “Dead? Who told you that?”

“Y-your unit was attacked by an enemy platoon... You've been dead for two years!”

“Atrina, what are you talking about?” her father asked, stepping up to them. “He didn't die!”

“Yeah, I'm right here, Trina, I didn't die.”

“Oh, I think she's still in dreamland,” her mother said, doting over her. “She had such a long trip...”

Atrina looked at her family in shock. “...That's...” she started before memories started to fill her mind.

_Atrina jumped suddenly before turning around quickly to see Alistair standing behind her. He chuckled while looking a little apologetic. “Sorry, didn't mean to startle you.”_

_She gasped at seeing him dressed in almost the exact same armor that he was wearing when she saw him in her world. “_ You _!”_

“ _Me! Wait, do I know you?” he asked, studying her to see if he could remember her from somewhere._

“ _Uh--no, no, sorry... You look like someone I met earlier...” she said quickly._

“ _Ah... well, you know, one good thing about the Blight is how it brings people together,” he said, suddenly, causing her to laugh a little._

“ _I know what you mean, all of us together, kinda like a party!” she joked back._

_A huge grin came over his face as she joked with him. “Exactly! We could all stand in a circle and hold hands. That will give the darkspawn something to think about...”_

 

_Alistair stuck his head in the tent his eyes covered. “Is it safe?” he asked, causing her to laugh a little._

“ _No, I'm naked.”_

“ _Oh, ha-ha,” he said sarcastically. “You're not... right?” he asked, hesitating to lower his hand._

_Rolling her eyes while wearing a smile she walked up to him and pulled his hand down. “I was joking.”_

“ _Oh,” he said, sounding disappointed. “I-I mean, good!” He rubbed the back of his head, grinning sheepishly._

“ _Nice to know you won't instantly look when a woman tells you she's naked.”_

“ _Yes, well, I am a gentleman after all...”_

 

“ _For... you know...” he said, shifting a little, his arm sliding off her back. “For talking with me about Duncan... it's helped, at least a little.”_

_She gave him a warm smile. “You're welcome, Alistair. Talk to me anytime you need to, okay?”_

_He nodded smiling back at her. “You might regret saying that one day.”_

_Laughing a little, she leaned back on her hands, looking up at the evening sky. “Doubt it...”_

 

_Morrigan stepped forward. “You want us to assist this preachy schoolmistress?” she asked, looking at Atrina in disbelief. “To rescue these pathetic excuses for mages? They allow themselves to be corralled like cattle, mindless. Now their masters have chosen death for them and I say let them have it.”_

_Atrina turned to Morrigan with a glare. “My best friend is in this tower somewhere! If we have to fight the freaking archdemon to get to her, then by Andraste's flaming sword, we_ will _!” she stated earning a jaw dropping expression from the apostate. “Now,” she said, turning back to Wynne. “Where is Wanda? Why isn't she here?”_

_Wynne looked at her with great confusion. “Wanda? H-how could you possibly know Wanda...”_

A gasp left her as the memories came and went forcing her to remember where she was. _Wanda!_ She was in the Circle Tower where the Sloth demon had forced her and the others to fall asleep. _Oh no... I'm in the Fade!_ “This isn't real...” she said, shaking her head.

“Tri--”

“Don't call me that, demon!” she screamed as she quickly found her sword and dagger on her back.

'Sam' chuckled his voice growing deeper. “I won't let you leave, mortal!” he said before attacking her, backhanding her.

Atrina stumbled back before letting out a battle cry as she slashed at him. As she fought him off, 'mother' and 'father' joined in. They successfully slashed at her making her cry out in pain and rage. She killed the parents quickly before killing Sam. “You don't get to wear his face!” she screamed before 'Sam' fell back, dead.

Breathing heavily, Atrina watched as the walls of the house dissolved around her, revealing the broken world of the Fade. Looking around she found a lyrium vein and limped over to it. Touching the vein she felt her wounds heal and her strength return.

She let out a breath before moving to the pedestal that had appeared before her. “Time to get the others and make Sloth pay...” she said to herself before using the pedestal to go to the next area.

 

The rest her journey through the Fade was the same as it had been in the game. It felt like an endless maze, constant going back and forth. She got lost a few times and cursed loudly, burning things with her Burning Man powers, just to release her frustration.

After what felt like forever, she finally defeated all of the demons working for Sloth. She entered the dreams of her comrades, helping them each face their demons. Everyone's dreams were the same: Wynne seeing the mage children all dead, Alistair meeting 'Goldanna' and finally having the family he always wanted, and finally, Morrigan arguing with 'Flemeth', knowing from the beginning that she was in the Fade.

Sighing, Atrina moved to the pedestal for the last time, ready to defeat Sloth. The usual flash of light appeared before she was standing in another part of the Fade. Sloth stood on the other side not noticing her at first.

As she walked towards him he finally took notice of her. “What do we have here? A rebellious minion? An escaped slave?” he asked, before laughing evilly. “My, my, but you do have some _gall_. But playtime is over, you all have to go back now.”

“Oh!” Alistair said when he appeared behind Atrina. “Here I am! And there you are. You just... disappeared. Well, no matter,” he said, pulling out his sword and shield.

“You made a dangerous enemy, demon, by toying with my mind,” Morrigan stated, pulling out her staff.

“You will not hold us, demon!” Wynne began, slamming the end of her staff onto the ground. “We found each other in this place and you _cannot_ stand against us!”

“If you go back quietly, I'll do better this time. I'll make you _much_ happier,” Sloth promised.

Atrina pulled out her weapons as she glared darkly at the demon. “You used my dead fiance against me...” she said in a low voice. “I will _never_ submit to you!” she shouted before letting out a battle cry.

“You wish to battle _me_? So be it!”

Atrina ran at him as she turned into the Golem. She pounded the ground at his feet, stunning him.

“Whoa! I didn't know you could do that!” Alistair exclaimed as he went and attacked the stunned demon.

“We are in the Fade, you idiot!” Morrigan shouted before turning into a giant spider and attacking Sloth.

“Less talking, you two!” Wynne ordered, using an earthquake spell against the demon.

Atrina changed back and forth into the different forms, battling toe-to-toe with Sloth. Eventually Sloth went down as they all worked together. When Sloth was dead Niall appeared before them.

“You defeated the demon... I never thought... I never expected you to free yourself, to free us both!” Niall said in amazement. “When you return, take the Litany of Adralla from my... body...” He looked down before looking back up at her. “It will protect you from the worst of the blood magic.”

“Niall...” Wynne said, walking up to him. “What... what are you saying?”

“Wynne... I'm sorry, but I cannot go with you. I have been here far too long. For you, it would have been an afternoon's nap...” he explained, looking sad. “Your body wouldn't have wasted away in the real world, while your spirit lays in the hands of a demon.”

“You're... dying?” Atrina asked, feeling sad by this information even though she already knew it was coming.

“Every minute that I was here, the sloth demon was feeding off of me...” he explained to her. “Using my life to fuel the nightmares of this realm... there is so little of me left.” Niall shook his head. “I was never meant to save the Circle, survive its' troubles... So, yes, I am dying.”

“Nonsense! When we wake, I shall heal you myself,” Wynne stated.

“Thank you, Wynne, but it is too late for me. I do not fear what may come,” he said, hoping to reassure them and himself. “They say that we return to the Maker in death, and that isn't such a terrible thing... My only regret is that I could not save the Circle...”

“We'll save it, Niall, I promise,” Atrina told him, causing him to smile a little.

“I can rest easy knowing that then...” he said softly before he started to fade. “Thank you and goodbye, friend...”

White engulfed Atrina's vision before she found herself blinking up at the ceiling. With a groan, she sat up, before looking at the others in the horror looking room.

“Can we try to avoid doing that... ever again... please?” Alistair asked, wincing as he stood up.

“Oh, Niall...” Wynne said, kneeling over the mage's body. “Rest in the arms of the Maker...” she prayed as his chest stilled.

Atrina moved over to her as Wynne closed Niall's eyes. “Wynne... I'm sorry...”

“It is not your fault... He was a brave young man...”

“If we are done with this, don't we have a precious Circle to save, hm?” Morrigan asked already standing by the doorway that led to where they needed to go to next.

Atrina grabbed the Litany of Adralla from Niall's body. “Yes, let's get going...” She looked down at the scroll and opened it. “I... Wynne, I think you'll need to be in charge of this. I can't even read it...”

Wynne took the Litany when Atrina offered it to her. “It is a chant in Tevinter, anyone who knows the dialect could use it.”

Atrina blinked. “Really? So, well... I don't know Tevinter...”

Morrigan sighed in annoyance. “More time being wasted. If you cannot even read it, how shall you speak it? I suggest it not be used.”

“If it helps us save lives, then we use it,” Alistair said as took the offered scroll from Wynne. “Huh, it's pretty simple too.”

“Wait... you can read it?” Atrina asked with great surprise.

“Of course, the Chantry wants its templars diverse in as many languages as possible.”

“Oh, 'tis must truly be small words if _you_ , of all people, can read it.”

Alistair sent Morrigan a glare as Atrina sighed. “Okay, Wynne and Alistair will be in charge of the chant then.”

“I can read the language as well,” Morrigan stated before taking the Litany from Alistair and looking it over.

“ _Okay_ ,” Atrina said. “I'll be the only one who _won't_ be able to use it, got it.” She sighed before taking the scroll from Morrigan when she was done. “Let's just get going. We've wasted enough time with that trip to the Fade,” she stated as she rolled up the Litany.

 

As they fought more abominations and a few dragonlings, Alistair and Wynne tried to help Atrina learn the Litany so she could recite it.

“No, you need to say your r's like this,” Alistair said before demonstrating.

Atrina tried once more and groaned when she still didn't quite get it down. “How do you expect me to be able to recite this? If it was in the common tongue I'd have no trouble!”

“Well, it is not, therefore you will have to make do,” Wynne stated. “Now, try again.”

After fighting a few more abominations (and more failed attempts from Atrina in getting the Litany down) they made it to the last room before the top of the tower. Atrina walked into the room first only to jump and gasp when she saw the barrier that was beside the stairs. In the middle of the barrier was a familiar looking templar.

“Cullen?” she whispered before clamping her mouth shut. She wasn't supposed to know who he was.

His eyes connected with hers before he shook his head. “This trick again? I know what you are. It won't work,” he said as she walked towards the barrier. “I will stay strong...” He knelt down and put his hands to his head as if to block her out.

Atrina took in how he looked and it was clear he had lost weight and had zero sleep since being trapped. His armor was beside him, leaving him in his undershirt and pants. She had to fight the urge to try and figure out a way to get to him to hug him.

“The boy is exhausted,” Wynne said, coming up beside her. “And this cage... I've never seen anything like it. Rest easy... help is here.”

“Enough visions,” he said, closing his eyes tightly. “If anything in you is human... kill me now and end this game.”

“That's not going to happen,” Atrina stated before pulling out her pack. “I have a health potion and some food, maybe that will--”

“Don't touch me. Stay away!” Cullen shouted, cutting her off as he backed away from the barrier. “Filthy blood mages... getting in my head... I will not break... I'd rather die.”

Kneeling down in front of him Atrina leaned in as close as she could to the barrier. “Listen to me, we are _not_ demons or maleficar...” she said softly, earning a peek from him. “We're here to help--”

“Silence...” he said, cutting her off once more. “I will not listen to anything you say. Now begone!”

Atrina's heart broke seeing him like this. It must have shown because Alistair moved to her side and placed a hand on her shoulder.

“I think he's too far gone at this point, Atrina,” he said, looking back at Cullen.

She shook her head. “No, he's going to be okay, I know it!” she said before seeing Cullen look up at her in shock.

“Still here?” he asked his voice sounding panicked. “But... that's always worked before! I close my eyes, but you are still here when I open them.”

“I told you, we're not visions, we're _real_ ,” Atrina said, watching him relax a little as he finally understood.

“Don't... don't blame me for being cautious...” he said, looking away from her. “The voices... the images... so real...”

Atrina felt relief at not seeing him so scared anymore. “I understand... we were trapped in the Fade, each of us had something that felt real--”

Morrigan scoffed. “Speak for yourself.”

“Okay, _some_ of us had experienced things that felt real.” Atrina resisted rolling her eyes. “I get it's not the same as what happened to you, though.”

“How... how did you get here? Did Greagoir send you?”

“Yes, and we got this far because we killed everything that came at us. It was a mess,” Alistair answered.

“The same will happen to Uldred... for what he's done,” Atrina added, feeling hatred for the blood mage.

“Good... kill Uldred. Kill them all! They caged us like animals... looked for ways to break us. I'm the only one left...”

Atrina felt her heart break more at hearing him say that and the way he looked. “What about the others?”

“What others? What are you talking about?” He seemed to snap at them and think they were crazy.

“Irving and the other mages who fought Uldred,” Wynne said, stepping forward. “Where are they?”

Cullen's face twisted into despair. “They are in the Harrowing Chamber. The sounds coming out from there... oh, Maker...” He put his head back in his hands.

“We must hurry,” Wynne said, moving to the stairs. “They are in grave danger, I am sure of it.”

“You can't save them!” Cullen's head snapped up when he raised his voice. “You don't know what they've become.”

“No!” Atrina snapped back, making Cullen flinch back in surprise. “Wanda's in there! I refuse to let her die!”

His eyes widened. “Y-you know Wanda? _How_?”

“Ostagar,” she answered quickly. “If there's still a chance to save her and Irving, I'll risk it.”

Cullen seemed to shake out of his stupor. “She's been surrounded b-by blood mages whose wicked fingers snake into your mind and corrupt your thoughts! There is no chance that the Wanda we knew is even still there!”

“His hatred of mages is so intense... the memory of his friends' deaths is still fresh in his mind,” Alistair whispered Atrina and Wynne.

“I understand that, but I know Wanda, she's strong!”

“He's suffered pain and anguish like few have had to endure,” Wynne explained. “That and his lust for revenge have confused the issue--”

“Do _not_ presume to know me, mage! I am thinking clearly-- for perhaps the first time in my life.”

Atrina winced at his words, feeling both anger and hurt. She wanted to shake him so badly. In her play through of Inquisition, she had played an elf mage, who had won the heart of Cullen. “Look, if there's anyone left to be saved there, I am saving them! And before you ask me, I've already decided that risking it is the best option,” she stated, refusing to relent. She stood and turned away from him before moving to go up the stairs.

“That is your choice to make, but I beg you to consider what I have to say!” he called, making her pause. When she turned back to him he continued. “You cannot tell a maleficarum by sight. Just one could influence the mind of a king, a grand cleric!”

Atrina shook her head. “I understand what you are saying, but I won't kill innocents... especially my best friend.”

“I am just willing to see the painful truth, which you are letting your feelings for Wanda pollute!” he said, sighing in frustration. “But what can I do?” he asked, gesturing to his prison. “As you can see, I am in no position to directly influence your actions, though I would love to deal with the mages myself.”

“I would have suggested freeing you... though, besides how you are acting towards me wanting to save any of the mages, you are in _no position_ health wise to fight,” Atrina stated, moving back over to the barrier. “When we're done, we'll get you out. You won't be in there too much longer, I promise.”

“Once Uldred and his mages are dead, I'll be free. Do not waste time on me,” he said, looking away from her. “Go do what you intend to do, and I pray to the Maker that your soft heart hasn't doomed us all.”

Atrina sighed as she left a health potion, a water pouch, and some food in front of the barrier. “If you're right then I'm leaving these here for you... we'll be back,” she told him before motioning the others to follow her.

“Finally,” Morrigan said, following her. “I thought we would be stuck conversing with that moron forever.”

“He isn't a moron,” Atrina found herself saying before she could stop herself. “He's just been through so much, can you really blame him?”

“You know, even after he just told you to kill your friend, you are quick to defend him,” Alistair said, looking at her confused. “Why is that?”

Atrina paused in her walking before looking up at Alistair. “Because... I like to try and see past what's in front of me.”

His confusion only seemed to increase. “What do you mean?”

“Just because someone is saying cruel things or acting in anger, it doesn't always mean that's who they are as a whole person... It could just mean that something happened to make them act that way...”

“Very wise words from someone so young,” Wynne said, sounding impressed.

Atrina shrugged as she started to feel a little embarrassed. “I wouldn't say that...” she said before they arrived at the door. Putting a finger to her lips, she motioned for them to be quiet, before opening the door.

A light show greeted them as they made their way up the stairs. They made it to the top just in time to see a mage be turned into an abomination as lightning danced around the room. Atrina's eyes scanned the room before noticing a barrier n the other side of the chamber.

A gasp left her when she saw it was Wanda who was holding up the barrier around herself and Irving. “Wanda!” she called as she started running towards her.

Wanda raised her head and looked beyond relieved when she saw Atrina. “Oh... good...” she mumbled before collapsing suddenly, the barrier following after her.

“Wanda!” Before Atrina could reach her friend, abominations moved into her path.

A bald mage stepped up in font of her. “Ah... look what we have here. An intruder. I bid you welcome and kindly thank you for making Amell drop the barri--”

“Shut up!” Atrina shouted as she pulled out her sword and dagger. “Just _shut up_ , Uldred!”

Uldred sneered at her before looking at her with a crazed smile. “Fight, if you must! It will just make my victory all the more sweeter,” he stated as he began to glow.

Atrina took a step back when Uldred grew in size. Once he stopped glowing and growing a massive demon stood in his place.

A gasp left Wynne. “A Pride demon!” she shouted the demon lunged at them.

They scattered, dodging the attack, before the demon stood up straight. Uldred raised his arms above his head and summoned the other abominations to his side.

“He's doing something to the mages!” Alistair shouted as he bashed an abomination with his shield.

Atrina focused on Uldred as she could hear her companions start to recite the Litany of Adralla. She mumbled along, hoping and praying she could pick up on it enough to help, as she fought.

Uldred knocked her to the other side of the room, breaking her concentration. She let out a hiss of pain as she sat up before she gasped when she saw a light start to swirl around Wanda and Irving. “Wanda!” She scrambled up and ran over to the mages.

When she got to them, she stuttered out the chant, praying that it would work even though she was saying it wrong. Another voice joined hers, giving her confidence in saying the chant. She turned to see Morrigan standing next to her, shooting lightning and fireballs at Uldred as she spoke the Litany with her. The light around Irving and Wanda faded as the fight continued. Atrina felt her heart swell at the sight.

“Go help Alistair, I have this under control here,” Morrigan told her before Atrina nodded and headed back to attack the demon that was once Uldred.

Knowing Morrigan was looking out for Wanda, Atrina felt a renewed feeling of confidence in fighting Uldred. She stabbed and slashed at the demon's back and legs. It crumbled to the ground and Alistair rammed it with his shield before Atrina jumped up and stabbed the demon in head. Her fellow Grey Warden looked impressed by her stunt, but she hardly noticed.

The moment Uldred was dead Atrina ran over to Wanda while Wynne moved to Irving. Once Atrina got to Wanda she turned her over before releasing the breath she had been holding.

Wanda's eyes slowly opened before she smiled a little when she saw Atrina. “...'Bout time...”

Atrina scoffed lightly. “I got here as fast as I could. I even held off going to Redcliffe for you,” she said as she helped Wanda sit up.

Wanda winced. “And I'm sooo happy you did...”

“Wanda... are you all right?” Irving asked as Wynne and Alistair helped him up.

“Yes, First Enchanter, and you?”

“I've been better, thank you for protecting us for so long...” he said with a fatherly smile.

Wanda smiled in return. “Of course.”

Irving looked to Atrina. “The Circle owes you a debt we will never be able to repay.”

Atrina smiled at the elder mage. “It was the right thing to do.”

“Come, the templars await. We shall let them know that the tower is once again ours,” he said before looking at Alistair. “Young man, I'll need you to guide me down the stairs...” he said as Atrina helped Wanda to stand. “Ugh, curse whoever insisted the Circle be housed in a tower.”

“You can lean on me, Wanda,” Atrina said before feeling Wanda shift some of her weight to her.

“Thanks... I can barely stand... I'm so tired...” Wanda said as they moved down the stairs of the Harrowing Chamber.

“How long had you been holding that barrier up anyways?” Atrina asked.

“Atrina, honestly, I have no clue, I just... held it up as long as I could,” Wanda explained before they reached the fourth floor.

The barrier that had been up around Cullen was gone, just as he predicted. The templar seemed to be finished with putting back on his armor, the food, water, and health potion having all been consumed.

Wanda brightened at the sight of him. “Cullen, you're okay!”

He tensed at hearing her before he looked at her over his shoulder. The look on his face held slight terror before it dropped into a scowl. “Hardly...” he said quietly before he turned and went on ahead of them.

Wanda's smile fell as she looked like she had been slapped in the face. “I... what?”

Atrina gave her friend a gentle squeeze. “He was tortured...”

“I- I know... I _heard_ him...” Wanda said before she started shaking.

Wynne moved over to Wanda and took her from Atrina. “Oh, Wanda, do not blame him... Come, let us get to Greagoir...”

Wanda nodded as she let Wynne lead her off. Atrina felt her heart break for Wanda before she followed them down to the first floor. Everyone walked in silence.

 

They met up with the the rest of the mages and children on the first floor, with Cullen remaining ahead of them. Leliana, Sten, and Grunt joined them as they came to the barred doors.

Cullen knocked on the door before the others had gotten there.

As Irving could stand on his own by then, he walked up to the door. “Greagoir, this is Irving.”

Greagoir's voice called from the other side, “Irving? Open the doors,” he ordered before the doors opened to reveal Greagoir and the templars, standing ready just in case. The knight-commander relaxed when he saw Irving. “Maker's breath, I did not expect to see you alive.”

“It is over, Greagoir,” Irving said, walking into the foyer. “Uldred... is dead.”

Cullen stepped forward before Irving could continue. “Uldred tortured these mages, hoping to break their wills and turn them into abominations,” he said as he gestured to Irving, the mages, and the apprentices. “We don't know how many of them have turned.”

Irving was taken back by the templar's words as his wards behind him suddenly looked fearful. “What? Don't be ridiculous!”

Cullen sneered as he looked at Irving before looking back at Greagoir. “Of _course_ he'll say that! He might be a blood mage! Don't you know what they did? I won't let this happen again!”

Greagoir stepped forward with command. “ _I_ am knight-commander here, not _you_.”

Cullen tensed as he looked away from his commanding officer.

“We will rebuild,” Irving said as Greagoir turned to look back at him. “The Circle will go on, and we will learn from this tragedy, and be strengthened by it.”

“Seeing as you won us back the tower,” Greagoir said as he looked at Atrina and her group. “And Irving is in his right state of mind, I will accept his assurance that all is now well.”

Cullen's head snapped back to Greagoir. “But they may have _demons_ within them, lying dormant... lying in wait!”

“Enough! I have already made my decision,” Greagoir said before dismissing Cullen. “Go see a healer.”

“But--”

“ _Now_ , Rutherford.”

Cullen winced before crossing his arms on his chest and bowing. “Yes, Knight-Commander...” he said with anger behind his voice. He glanced towards Wanda for a moment before averting his eyes as he left the foyer.

Greagoir sighed before turning to Atrina once more. “Thank you. You have proven yourself a friend of both the Circle, and the templars.”

Atrina smiled a little. “More than happy to help, believe me.” _Wanda's now safe and we ended up not losing the mages after all. Call that a win-win!_

“I promised you aid, but with the Circle restored, my duty is to watch the mages,” he told her. “They are free to help you, however. Speak to them.” He earned a nod from her in which he returned. “Now, if you will please excuse me, I have to start getting the men together,” he said before pausing when he looked at Irving. “And, Irving... it is good to have you back.”

The first enchanter smiled fondly. “Ah, I'm sure we we'll be at each others throats again in no time.” Irving turned to Atrina. “Here we are, the tower in disarray, the Circle nearly annihilated... though it could have been much, much worse. I am glad you arrived when you did. It's almost as though the Maker Himself sent you.”

“As I said to the knight-commander, I was happy to help...”

“Now, from what Greagoir said, it seems that you came here seeking allies. The least we can do is help you against the darkspawn. I would hate to survive this only to be overcome by the Blight. So, you have my word, as first enchanter. The Circle will join the Grey Wardens in the fight.”

Atrina nodded as a feeling of relief came over her. “Thank you, ser.”

“Irving, I have a request,” Wynne said as she stepped forward. “I seek leave to follow the Grey Warden Atrina.”

“Wynne...” Irving began, looking at the woman with a pleading gaze. “We need you _here_. The Circle _needs_ you.”

Wynne gave him a calm smile. “I appreciate the sentiment, Irving, but the Circle will do fine without me. The Circle has _you_. This woman is brave and good, and capable of great things. If she will accept my help, I will help her accomplish her goals.”

Wanda stepped up beside her. “Actually, I'd like to make the same request.”

Wynne and Irving both looked at Wanda in surprise. “I know we had made you Wynne's assistant to help appease Greagoir,” Irving stated in a hush tone even though the knight-commander was no longer in the room. “But, my dear Wanda, there is no need for you to continue. You have more than proven enough to the Circle and the Templars by helping to protect me from Uldred.”

Wanda let out a small sigh through her nose. “I know, but I do want to help. And I think the best way for me to do that is if I help the last of the Wardens. They need all the help they can get. I was there at Ostagar as well... I've seen...” She looked at Atrina for a moment before turning back to the mage. “I promise I'll be careful, Irving... I'll come back when it's over.”

“I'd greatly accept both of their helps,” Atrina said quickly, hoping that Irving would be willing to give up Wanda.

Irving studied Wanda for a moment before sighing. “Then I give you both leave to follow the Grey Wardens, but know that you always have a place here.”

Wanda smiled. “Thank you, First Enchanter.”

Irving returned the smile. “There is much to be done here, and I must go. You must forgive me for not being a proper host. But with all the excitement we have had here, you all must be exhausted and famished. We have some spare rooms on the second floor, Wanda, could you take our guests up there after dinner?”

Atrina looked at Wanda in surprise. That hadn't happened in the game, though it would be a nice change from sleeping on the ground after the long day and many battles.

Wanda nodded. “I'd be happy to.”

Morrigan groaned softly from behind them, but didn't utter a word. Atrina glanced back at her and the others before agreeing to stay at the tower, at least for the night.

“I think I'd rather stay at the inn that is across the lake,” Morrigan stated, having decided to finally say something.

“I agree,” Sten said as he looked down at Atrina. “It is against the Qun to be around so many Saarebas.”

Atrina looked up at him before nodding. “Oh, of course... well, if you two want to go to the inn, I'm okay with it,” she said before pulling out her pack. She gave them both some money. “Here, I hope that's enough for rooms and some food. Does anyone else want to go with them?”

Leliana, Alistair, and Grunt all shook their heads no. Atrina told Sten and Morrigan that they would see them in the morning.

“Are you sure they're not just going to run off?” Alistair asked, earning a shrug from Atrina.

“I don't think they will. Sten swore he would help us with the Blight and find his atonement, which I think is very serious for him. I'm sure he already had a hard time being here in the tower. His culture is very different from ours.”

“True... but what about Morrigan?”

“Well... we'll see. I don't think she's going to leave us behind though.”

“Hmm...”

“All right, let me introduce myself,” Wanda said as she turned to the others. “I'm Wanda, it's a _pleasure_ to meet you!” she said with a smile.

 

After eating their fill, of what dinner had been available to prepare, the smaller sized group followed Wanda through the tower to the guestrooms. After giving Leliana a room, she led Alistair, Atrina, and Grunt to the last of the rooms.

“And this is your room, Alistair, mine is right across from it,” Wanda told him, grinning.

“Oh, uh, thanks.” He rubbed the back of his neck as he glanced at the door.

“And, Atrina, you're staying with me tonight because we need to catch up!” Wanda said with excitement as she tugged on Atrina's arm. Grunt barked in response as he moved to Wanda's door. “Oh! He can come too.”

Atrina smiled and laughed a little. “Yes we do, goodnight, Alistair,” she said before being tugged into the room across the corridor. Alistair gave her a small wave before she disappeared behind the door.

Once the chamber door was closed the women hugged each other as Grunt sniffed out the room.

“I'm so happy you're okay! I was so worried the moment I remembered about the Circle,” Atrina said.

“I'm so glad you came when you did! I couldn't hold that barrier up anymore,” Wanda said before breaking the hug. “Come on, let's get ready for bed.”

Atrina nodded. “Right... we have to get up early tomorrow and head to Redcliffe...”

“Okay, what time?”

“Well, before dawn, I suppose.”

“I hate waking up before dawn,” Wanda whined a little, earning a nod of agreement from Atrina.

“Same... but I keep having so many nightmares as I sleep, it's almost nice when I find myself awake...” Atrina said as she tossed off some of her armor onto the floor.

Wanda patted her on the head. “I'm sorry.”

Atrina made a face when she patted her head. “Yeah, well, be glad you don't have them,” she said as she pushed Wanda's hand away.

“Oh, I am very glad,” Wanda stated as she found something for Atrina to sleep in. “I'm just sorry that you have to endure them.”

Grunt moved over to the armor and sniffed it before licking it. Atrina lightly scolded him, telling him not to lick her armor. He whined a little before moving away from the armor and, instead, jumped onto the bed and settled at the foot of the bed.

“Anyways... what was I saying?” Atrina asked, having lost her train of thought.

“Um... something about dreams?” Wanda said, hoping to jog her memory.

Atrina snapped her fingers. “Right! I keep having other dreams! I mean besides the ones that you see the Warden have in the game. Ones of things that happen later on, but different...”

“Oh? Like what?”

“After the Joining, you know how the Warden dreams of the archdemon?” Atrina asked, earning a nod. “I had another dream right after that... Of me killing the archdemon and... I think I died.”

Wanda's eyes went wide. “What? You mean like how older Alistair said?”

“I guess? It was strange... and then I had apparently been out for two hours.”

“Yeah, I know about that,” Wanda stated. “I was freaking out when I saw Alistair carrying you to the tent...”

Atrina laughed a little. “Yeah, he mentioned that to me... That reminds me! I didn't get a chance to tell you, but when I got to Ostagar, Cailan actually _flirted_ with me.”

Wanda giggled at the mention of Cailan. “Really? Well, he flirted with me as well... aaaand then invited me to his tent.”

Atrina's eyes widened in shock as she turned to her. “W-wait... you didn't actually...” The smirk Wanda wore and the sudden blush on her cheeks revealed all. “Oh my gosh... You slept with the _king_?!”

Wanda shushed her. “Yes, and what's wrong with that?”

“You gave Cailan your virginity...”

Wanda rolled her eyes as she held up her hand, ready to count off. “One, I knew he was going to die, so I wanted him to have a good night before it happened. Two, we're in a _coma_ , so it doesn't have lasting effects.”

Atrina groaned softly. “How can you still think that after everything that happened here at the tower? You almost got turned into an abomination just a few hours ago!”

“Because it's part of the game. I know, I know, you never see the parts I went through in the game, but that's because this coma is playing things differently,” she explained. “I think this was triggered by the conversations we had at the festival, before and when that cosplayer/older Alistair showed up. It's the only thing that makes sense.”

“...You really don't think this was caused by magic?”

“It can't be. Look, let's just enjoy this coma until the doctors wake us up. And then we find that cosplayer and make him pay for putting us in comas.” Wanda slammed her fist into the palm of her hand, emphasizing her point.

Atrina sighed. “But... what if, just humor me for a moment, what if this is all _real_? What then?”

Wanda placed her cheek in her hand as she thought it over. “...Well... then we should be happy.”

Atrina blinked at her. “What?”

“Come on, Atrina, how many times have we fantasized about coming here? Meeting all these characters that we love. You meeting Alistair, me meeting Zevran?”

“Yeah, I know... but if I make Alistair king like before... I either have to harden him to stay with him or he'll break up with me... Honestly though, I don't want to be a mistress,” she admitted as she slipped on the nightgown that was too long for her. “Though I don't even know if anything's going to happen between us like in the game...”

“Well, don't make him king and of course something is going to happen,” Wanda stated before laughing at how Atrina looked in the nightgown.

Atrina gave her a look. “Shush!”

Wanda giggled. “Sorry, but you look so cute!”

Atrina rolled her eyes. “Anyways, back to the topic? I don't know how to keep him safe... I've never done any other way.” She pulled out her journal from her pack. “I've been writing down what I know from the game... at least the stuff that's important and I wrote a little about who I was before. I don't know about you, but my memories have been strange...”

“Oh! Same here! I've been remembering a life I don't recognize, but dreams do that,” Wanda said as she changed. “Though, I think I should start a journal too... I've been so busy that I haven't thought about it. Thankfully I can get a journal easily here.”

They both got into the bed, feeling equally exhausted from the long day.

“So... how was it? The sex?” Atrina asked, feeling beyond curious. She might have been engaged once upon a time, but they had never did anything beyond kissing, holding hands, hugging, and cuddles.

Wanda giggled. “Well, it hurt at first, but he was so gentle... and then it got fun when I let my body get used to him and the changes he was causing.”

Atrina giggled as she felt herself tingle a little at the information. “Well... it's not every day you can say you had sex with royalty.”

“Hehe, nope! Though I'm sure you'll get to do that with Alistair soon,” Wanda said nonchalantly.

Atrina blushed brightly. “U-um, I don't think so... probably not.”

“What? Why not? You know he's going to fall in love with you.”

“Ha! I doubt that. I'm not _actually_ the character of the Warden, you know.”

“But that cosplayer sought you out, right? He acted so much in love with you. I know I'm saying this isn't real, but if you're right and it is, then we already know, from _that_ fact alone if you ignore the game, that Alistair is going to fall head over heels for you.”

Atrina looked up at the high ceiling as Wanda spoke. “I... no, I don't think it's going to happen.”

Wanda rolled her eyes. “This isn't about Sam, is it?”

Atrina glanced at her in surprise. “What? What does Sam have to do with it?”

“Well, he was the last man you loved...”

Atrina sighed as she sat up. “No, Sam doesn't have anything to do with this. I'll always love him, but him and Alistair are different people. And it's all strange to see people that I always saw as video game characters and to actually view them as people... which is what I'm trying to do. So I can't just assume that Alistair is going to fall for me. Already things have been different from the game.”

Wanda suddenly pouted a little. “Do you think Zevran won't like me then?”

Atrina looked down at Wanda and gave her an amused smile. “Oh, I bet you'll have him eating out of your hand. I just... don't know if it's safe to get so close to him... to any of them...”

“You know it's going to happen, right? We'll be traveling with them everywhere.” Wanda sat up. “The only way we're not going to get close to any of them is if we just did everything horribly.”

“Ugh, I can never do that! Just the thought of seeing Alistair sad again breaks my heart...”

“Or seeing him angry? I remember watching some videos on Youtube... he can get kind of scary.”

Atrina shuddered. “Yeah... Anyways, let's not focus on love and sex right now, all right? We have to find a way back home.”

Wanda groaned as she fell back onto the bed. “You can't be serious? We don't have anything waiting for us back home! Besides, if this is a coma, like I'm sure it is, then if we play it out to the end, we might wake up.”

“But... what's the end? The end of Origins? The end of Awakening? Witch Hunt? What about the other games?”

Wanda shrugged. “We'll just have to see. Let's try and have some fun while we're here.”

“Well... okay, but we have to focus on dealing with the Blight.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Wanda said with a huff as she waved her off.

Atrina turned to her as she suddenly became hesitant. “...Do you... want to talk about Cullen?”

A scowl appeared on Wanda's face before it turned into a gloomy look. “No... maybe later...” she said as she turned over to sleep. With a wave of her hand she extinguished the candles in the room. “Goodnight...”

Atrina sighed in the dark before laying down as well. “Goodnight.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Putting a quick little note here just to say that I might not be as fast as I have been in posting for a little bit. I'm starting to get caught up in what I have written already and need to work on filling in some gaps to make the story flow. So, sorry in advance if the next chapter doesn't come as fast as before. I hope you have enjoyed what you'd read so far! :D
> 
> Oh! One more thing, I will be posting 'bonus chapters' from Wanda's point of view of certain things. That way you can read what happened with her when she first arrived in Thedas. My best friend has been writing the chapters while I have been editing/fleshing them out, making them flow better and fit better with what I have written in the main story. It will be in a separate story file, so it's not smack-dab in the middle of this, throwing off the flow. Every time I get a new chapter of Wanda up I'll add a link to it at the end of a chapter here (if that's possible, I just know on other sites you can't put links in the fanfiction files...). I might have the first chapter for Wanda up soon though, so keep an eye out! :D


	8. Of Fun Sized Wardens and Royal Bastards

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Atrina gets a little more than tipsy while Alistair is confessing to his heritage...  
> "...you have such a _regal_ looking nose."

* * *

 

 

They left the Circle in the early morning after eating breakfast. When the day came close to evening, they made camp. Alistair reassured them that they only had a few more hours to travel before reaching Redcliffe.

“If we leave early enough we should make it before midday,” he said before heading out to hunt for food with Sten.

“Yay, more getting up early!” Wanda said sarcastically before groaning. “Have I mentioned that I hate camping?”

Leliana giggled a little. “Maybe you should do something to take your mind off of it?”

Atrina moved to one of the packs. “Well, we've got some wine?”

“Oh, that sounds lovely, I'll take a glass,” Wynne said as she finished setting up the campfire.

“Oh! Me too!” Wanda waved her hand in the air.

“I'd love one as well, Atrina,” Leliana said, smiling sweetly at the elf.

Atrina laughed a little. “Okay, okay! Morrigan, would you like a glass?”

Morrigan looked at her with slight surprise at the offer. She quickly masked her look. “I suppose I can indulged in one drink.”

Atrina grinned before pulling out a glass for everyone. “Good thing we have more than one bottle.”

Morrigan came and helped her, earning a slightly startled look from Atrina. “What?” Morrigan asked. “You were struggling and I was the closest. There was no reason for me to just let you do it alone.”

Atrina gave her a grateful smile. “Thank you, Morrigan.”

Morrigan looked a little flustered at the compliment. “I am only doing what anyone with a brain would.”

Atrina felt happy as she and Morrigan poured the glasses for all the ladies. After passing them out they sat around the fire. Morrigan stayed quiet as the rest of the ladies conversed, only giving her thoughts when she felt the need to and when it was over something she found interesting.

By the time the men returned it was nearly dark. Atrina and Wanda were giggling to themselves as Leliana played softly on the lute she had with her.

After giving the clean meat to Morrigan for her to cook, Alistair walked over to the main campfire. “Mind if I join you?” he asked, standing next to Atrina.

The two friends giggled as they looked up at him. “Sure, how'd hunting with Sten go?” Atrina asked.

He took Morrigan's place as he sat down beside her. “Well, he doesn't talk much... feel like he's judging me, honestly.”

Wanda snorted a little. “He's a qunari, don't they do that?”

“You do realize he's right there, right? And how would you feel if you were in a foreign country?” Atrina asked. “I'm sure he misses home.”

“True... Still--” Alistair stretched his leg out and ended up kicking an empty wine bottle. “Um...” He picked up the bottle and looked at Atrina and Wanda curiously. “Tell me you didn't drink this _all_ by yourselves?”

“Ha-ha, no, we all had some,” Atrina told him as she smiled while gesturing to the rest of the camp.

“Yeah, we barely started on the second bottle.” Wanda held up the almost full bottle of wine to him.

“Want some?” Atrina asked him with a big smile.

“Uh... not really a wine person, but thanks.”

“We have ale, if you'd like that?” she offered, moving to stand to get it.

Alistair hummed as he thought it over. “Sure, why not?”

She returned with a glass and a bottle of ale. “Here you go!”

He took it and thanked her before pouring himself a glass.

She beamed at him as she sat back down in between him and Wanda. “It's good for moral to have a little to drink... Oh! Sten! Would you like some?”

“No,” Sten said as he stood at the edge of camp with Grunt, watching the lands around them.

“Okay! Let me know if you change your mind,” Atrina said as her smile didn't waver from his bluntness.

Morrigan called everyone to grab their share of the food when it was done. Atrina and Wanda continued drinking wine as they ate.

Looking at Alistair Atrina noticed he looked to be in deep thought. “A penny for your thoughts?” He looked up at her confused, making her realize she said the wrong thing. “I mean a copper, sorry.” _I forget they don't have pennies... Well in Ferelden._

Alistair looked back down and let out a small sigh. “Actually, I need to talk to you... There's something that I think you should know before we get to Redcliffe tomorrow.”

Wanda looked over at him and grinned. “You're actually the long lost brother of the king?” she asked suddenly.

Alistair looked at her in shock as Atrina just giggled. “U-um, how did you...?”

“Well, I slept with the guy! So I should know what he looks like,” Wanda stated pointing her finger at Alistair's shocked face. “And you look juuust like him!”

Atrina let out a bark of a laugh. “I can't believe you just told him!”

“Um... I could've lived without knowing that...” Alistair mumbled.

Atrina sipped her wine. “Sooo, you're heir to the throne then?”

“No! No, I'm not. If there's an heir, it's Arl Eamon,” he quickly said. “But King Maric was my father... My mother was a maid in Redcliffe castle, so instead of being Cailan's 'long lost brother,' it's more like half-brother, I suppose. So, I'm a bastard, and before you say any smart comments, I mean the born out of wedlock kind,” he said as he gave them a look before continuing. “I have no real claim to the throne.”

“So, you're not just a bastard, but a _royal_ bastard?” Wanda asked, grinning as Atrina started giggling again. They snuck a high-five to each other.

“Ha! Yes, I guess I am. I should use that line more often,” Alistair said thoughtfully. “Look, I... I would have told you sooner, but...” he said, turning to Atrina. “It never really meant anything to me. I was 'inconvenient,' a possible threat to Cailan's rule and so they kept me secret. I've never talked about it with anyone,” he admitted. “Everyone who knew either resented me for it or they coddled me... even Duncan kept me out of the fighting because of it. I didn't want you to know, as long as possible. I'm sorry.”

Atrina stared at him for a moment before poking his nose. “Don't apologize.”

His went cross-eyed as he looked down at her finger. “But--”

“You don't need to apologize. I get it, it was a secret,” she said as she grinned at him. Then she started giggling as she stopped touching his nose. “Though... I have to say, you have such a _regal_ looking nose.”

Alistair chuckled as he rubbed his nose a little. “Really? Hm, I guess that adds to the royal bastard comment.”

Atrina giggled. “Any other secrets you're keeping from me?”

“Besides my unholy love of fine cheeses and a minor obsession with my hair, no. That's it. Just the prince thing.”

“Oooh, cheese would be really good with this wine,” Atrina said as she held up the bottle of wine.

“Uh, how much of that are you planning on drinking tonight?” Alistair asked as he looked wary at the elf holding the bottle.

“I say all of it! I almost died, so why the hell not, you know?” Wanda said as she took the bottle and poured more into her glass.

Atrina smiled. “Only a little more, okay? We got a big day tomorrow in Redcliffe.”

 

Atrina giggled as she felt her chest heat up from the wine she was drinking. “I'm so happy to have you with us, Wanda! I don't think I could do this without yoou,” she said before hugging Wanda around her shoulders. “I love you, bestie!”

Wanda giggled with her. “I love you too! I'm so happy to be here!” she said, patting Atrina's head.

Atrina giggled once more as she swatted Wanda's hand away. “Sto-op, you know I don't like that!”

Alistair laughed causing her to look at him. “Think I could ever get away with doing that?”

“No!/Yes!”

Atrina looked at Wanda with wide eyes. “Don't tell him he can do that! He won't ever stop!”

Wanda giggled. “But it's true, you won't bite his hand off like you would anyone else! He's hiiigh on the list-- like me!”

“Oooh, I feel special knowing that now.” Alistair smirked before reaching over to pat the elf's head.

Atrina hissed and swatted lightly at his hand. “Nuuu, don't! Why do you tall people always pick on meee!”

“Because you are adorable and fun size!” Wanda answered, laughing at Atrina's pout.

“'Fun size'? I like that, I'll have to use that,” Alistair said before Atrina placed her chin on his shoulder. He blushed lightly at her sudden boldness, but she didn't notice.

“You're so _mean_ ,” she whined, causing him to laugh.

“Only because you're cute when you get all irritable,” he told her causing her to narrow her eyes at him. “You get this little knot right between your-- oh, never mind.”

She scoffed. “I am not cute nor adorable! I am a Grey Warden.”

“But you are a cute one!” Wanda exclaimed, causing her to glare at her. “The cutest one in history!”

“Don't forget fun size,” Alistair said, regaining Atrina's attention. “And I concur about her being the cutest one in history.”

“I hate both of you,” she said only for them to laugh in response.

“As enjoyable as it is to watch you drink yourselves into a stupor,” Morrigan said as she got up, clearly annoyed. “Some of us would like to sleep in peace, so if you could tone it down, it would be most appreciated.”

Alistair laughed. “I think we should just keep up the volume,” he said to Atrina, causing Morrigan to growl.

Atrina shook her head, still leaning against him. “No! We need to be considerate, I like Morrigan, I don't want her to dislike me because I'm tipsy.”

“Atrina, honey, you're more than tipsy,” Leliana said, giggling.

Atrina moved off Alistair when she looked at the redhead. “No, this is not me drunk, Leliana, I am tipsy. I admit, I'm a lightweight, but I know my limits. I just get hyper...” she said before giggling. Then she stood up and walked over to the edge of camp. “I'm going for a walk with Grunt. I'm not tired yet.”

“I really think you shouldn't go alone,” Wanda stated. “We've had the same amount and so I know you're gone.”

Atrina waved off her concern. “I won't be alone! I'll have Grunt with me,” she said with a grin as she motioned for Grunt to come with her. “And pul-ease, we didn't have _that_ much!” She then left the camp without another word.

“Ugh, give her a sword and dagger and suddenly she thinks she's invincible.” Wanda groaned before she stood up to follow.

“I'll accompany her,” Alistair said as he stood up. “We'll be back soon.” He walked in the direction Atrina left in.

“Aww, he's falling for her already,” Wanda said before giggling. “They're just so adorable!”

Leliana giggled with her. “Do you think they realize how obvious they are?”

“Knowing Atrina, she believes that he wouldn't fall for her...”

Alistair caught up with Atrina and chuckled a little when he saw her balancing on a fallen tree. Hearing his chuckle Atrina turned and grinned when she saw him.

“Hi!” She waved before losing her footing “Eeep!” she cried out before feeling herself fall onto something firm but soft. Looking up, she was met with Alistair's copper brown eyes, before realizing he had caught her.

“Careful,” he said, helping her to get her footing on the ground.

She giggled. “Would it be too cheesy if I said 'my hero'?”

He laughed a little. “I don't know, I like cheese, so I'm okay with it.”

Another giggle left her as he let her go. “I'm sorry, I promise I'm just really hyper.”

“Riiight,” he said still hovering next to her, in case she fell again.

She lightly smacked his chest. “Shush! Before I order you back to camp!”

Putting a hand on her head he laughed a little. “I don't think you're in any condition to be ordering anyone right now. As your second, I think I'll take over for the moment.”

“Ha! I kneew you wanted to actually lead!” she said, poking his chest. “You could be an amazing leader if you allowed yourself, you know.”

“Oh, no, no! I don't ever want to lead, I _like_ following you,” he said as Grunt leaned against Atrina, forcing her to lean against Alistair.

“You could be a great king, I can just see it!” she said, smiling up at him.

Alistair quickly shook his head as his eyes widened at her words. “No! _Definitely_ not. Arl Eamon should be king, I already told you that.”

She studied him for a moment as her smile fell. “You'd... you'd really hate it, wouldn't you?”

“Is it that obvious?” He raised an eyebrow at her. “I'm happy being a Grey Warden. The thought of being king... terrifies me.”

As she pushed off of him Atrina looked a little sad. “Well... let's make sure you don't have to become king then,” she said, walking away from him.

He looked at her with concern. “What's wrong?”

She turned back to him and stared at him for a moment. “Nothing, just thinking of things.”

Alistair didn't look convinced, but didn't push it. “Maybe we should--”

“Why didn't you tell me sooner?” she asked suddenly, causing him to clamp his mouth shut.

“Uh... pardon?”

She rolled her eyes. “About you being Cailan's brother? Why didn't you say anything?”

“Y-you said you understood...”

She shook her head. “I do, but at the same time I feel like... I don't know, that you didn't trust me enough? That you only told me because you didn't want someone else to while we are in Redcliffe?”

“No, no don't think like that,” he said moving closer to her. “That's not-- let me explain, please?”

She hugged herself a little, feeling vulnerable and small. “Okay...”

He sighed as he looked away from her. “I... guess I wasn't used to not mentioning it to someone who didn't already know? It was a secret after all... Even Duncan was the only Warden who knew. So, how do you just tell someone something like that?”

Atrina moved into his line of vision surprising him. “I get that... But.” She sighed as she looked away. “I guess we never really talked about Cailan, so you didn't have a real opportunity to just slip in 'oh, by the way, I'm Cailan's half brother,'” she said, glancing back at him. “But when talking about who could be the next king... I just... why not tell me then? Did you think I would just stop seeing you as Alistair?”

He gave her a troubled look. “Yes,” he admitted before groaning. “That's what always happens, Atrina. The moment someone finds out, I'm no longer Alistair, I'm the bastard prince!”

“You'll always be Alistair to me! I knew you _before_ you revealed who your father was. We've fought together, conversed together... So, just because there's suddenly a chance you might wear a crown one day, doesn't mean I see you differently.”

“You would be the first...”

At the sight of the bittersweet smile he sent her way she felt her heart skip a small beat. “You know... You make it so hard to not give you a hug.”

A soft chuckle left him making her heart skip another beat. “Well... I'm starting to like your hugs, sooo...?” He held open his arms to her and grinned a little.

She laughed before moving to hug him. “You're too handsome for your own good.”

“Oh? You think I'm handsome, do you?”

Atrina clamped her mouth shut. “My lips are sealed.”

He chuckled. “Oh no, I think I know the answer already,” he said earning a scrunched up look from her. “So... is this the part where I say you're beautiful?”

She blushed before pushing him off of her. “That depends on what you think.”

“Oh, I think I'll spring it on you when you least expect it.” He let out a laugh as she moved away from him.

She rolled her eyes. “One day you're going to push too much, you know,” she said as she wondered how much more her heart was going to be able to take of his teasing. _And we just started... crap._

He raised an eyebrow at her. “Oh? And what will you do if I do?” he asked only to receive her putting her finger to her lips while smiling.

“Secret,” she whispered as she winked at him.

His eyes went a little wide causing her to laugh. “And you, my dear lady, might just go too far yourself...” he told her.

Narrowing her eyes at him, Atrina shook her head. “I like to live on the edge.”

“Not afraid you might go over?”

“Nah! Not worried about it.” She grinned at him.

“So...” he said, scratching his cheek. “Even though I'm a royal bastard... you still see me as me?”

Her grin softened. “Didn't I already answer this?”

He shrugged at her. “Just call me paranoid, I guess.”

“Alistair, you're still the same goofy, cheese loving Warden that can make me laugh even in the most serious situations--”

“You know, I don't mean for you to laugh at times, you just seem to do it.”

“Hey, it is not my fault you have a talent.”

“Ha! You sure it's talent? I think it's my looks.”

Atrina laughed. “Oh no, I'm not repeating what I said earlier.” She grinned at him. “Nice try though.”

“Damn, how do you see through me so well?”

She shrugged. “What can I say? You're just an open book to me,” she teased.

“Oh am I?” Alistair asked, smirking at her. “Well, All-Knowing-One, what can you read about me now?”

Biting her lip as she smirked, Atrina turned to him, looking him over. “Hmm... let's see.” Her eyes studied him and she had to hold back a giggle when she saw him resist squirming under her gaze. “You are... actually feeling relieved that I know about you being Maric's son,” she began, earning a raised eyebrow from him. “And you want to pretend that I think you're some nobody who was too lucky to die with the rest of the Grey Wardens...” she said as she remembered what he said in the game after telling the Hero of Ferelden that he was the bastard prince.

Surprise took over him as he physically tensed. He tried laughing it off. “That's, uh...”

Atrina took a step closer to him, causing him to pause. “I don't think that. You're not a nobody.” She smiled at him and her eyes looked bright. “You're _Alistair_... I don't think you know how much that means--” she said before laughing a little, suddenly looking embarrassed. “Well, maybe I am a little more than just tipsy... Sorry, that was--”

“No!” He took a step closer to her as he cut her off. “That... thank you. I mean it.”

At seeing him look happy she smiled brightly. “You're welcome! Now, don't think so little of yourself again, okay?” she told him, poking his chest lightly.

He chuckled. “All right, I'll try.”

She shook her head at him. “No! There is no try! Only do,” she said before she giggled. “Forgot, you wouldn't get the reference... But yeah, don't _just_ try. Know you have people that care about you here, okay?”

Alistair gulped slightly as he felt his heart skip a beat. “Uh, okay.”

“Promise me,” she said, holding up her pinkie to him.

He blinked at the gesture before chuckling softly. Without missing a beat he wrapped his larger pinkie around hers. “Promise...”

Her smile grew. “Good! Now, let's head back to camp. We have a big day tomorrow.”

“That we do.”

 

Morning arrived and Atrina groaned into her pillow at the throbbing in her head. _Did I really have_ that _much to give me a hangover? Or is the alcohol content higher in Thedas than on Earth?_ she thought before wincing at the sound of movement outside of her tent.

After much debate she forced herself to get up and get dressed. When she exited her tent she hissed at the brightness of the sun. _Ugh, why haven't they invented sunglasses yet?_

“You feeling all right?” Alistair asked her when he came up beside her.

She winced at the sound of his voice. “Ugh, not so loud...”

Alistair held back a laugh even though he felt sorry for her. “Right, sorry,” he said quieter.

Another groan reached her ears causing Atrina to squint towards the sound. Wanda was shielding her eyes from the sun. “Wyyynnne, help, my head huuurts.”

“You didn't have a headache after your night with the king,” Wynne stated with a scoff in her voice.

Wanda pouted. “I did for a little bit, but a templar gave me something for it...”

“Here.” Morrigan walked up to Atrina and handed her a vial before moving to Wanda and giving her one. “These should help you, and make you two stop complaining.”

Atrina looked down at the vial in surprise. It was a bright orange color, which made her wince a little as the color hurt her eyes. “Thanks, Morrigan,” she said gratefully before trying to pull off the cork.

“Uh, are you sure you should be drinking anything she gives you?” Alistair whispered in her ear, causing a shiver to go down her spine when she felt his breath tickle her ear.

She blushed at the reaction before putting the vial into his hands. “Yes, you heard her mother say we're all there is against the Blight... I doubt she'd doing something to either of us...” she said softly before giving him a pleading look. “Can you open this for me?” she asked in a small pleading voice as she held her hands together under her chin.

Alistair stared at her for a moment before sighing softly. “I suppose...” he mumbled before pulling the cork off the vial. When she smiled brightly, as he gave her the vial, he couldn't help but smile as well.

“Thank yoooou,” she said, holding the vial close to her chest as she looked up at him cheerfully. Without another word she drank the vial. Her eyes opened wide as she felt her ears pop. “Whoa! Zangy!” she said before hiccuping.

Alistair chuckled as he put a hand on her head. “Careful now.”

She blushed and pouted as she pushed his hand off her head. “I told you not to do that.”

He shrugged still smiling. “You feeling better?”

Atrina blinked and tilted her head. “Actually... yeah. It's not as bad now.” She grinned widely before looking towards Morrigan's tent as she took it down. “Thanks, Morrigan!”

The witch just shook her head as she worked, choosing not to respond. Atrina looked towards Wanda to see her looking better as well. Turning back to Alistair she gave him a 'told you so' look.

He rolled his eyes. “Don't start acting smug.”

She pouted her lips a little at his words. “I think I have the right because if you had been right, then I would be dead or convulsing on the ground.”

He opened his mouth to object but closed it when he realized she was right. “...Good point.”

She beamed at him before moving to pack up her stuff. “So, how long til we get to Redcliffe?”

“We should reach it by midday or so,” he said as he started to help her.

Atrina tilted her head in confusion at his actions. “You don't have to help me.”

He smiled at her. “I know, but I already packed mine hours ago. I was the one on the last watch, so I don't really have anything better to do.”

She felt her heart swell a little which made her glance away almost shyly. “Heh, thanks then.”

He didn't notice her sudden shyness. “Don't mention it,” he said as he started folding up the tent while she rolled up her bedding.

With the camp packed up they ate breakfast before heading out.

 

Atrina and Wanda walked together as they traveled, with Leliana joining them at one point before she walked ahead.

“So,” Wanda began when they were semi alone. “What's happened so far? I see you managed to get Sten and Leliana. Have you asked the fun questions yet?”

Atrina shrugged. “Not much has really happened. We went to Lothering, obviously, and which questions?”

Wanda gave her a look. “You knooow, the ones to Alistair to get those fun topics.”

Atrina chuckled a little. “Oh, you mean his life in the Chantry? I've only asked a little... it never really seems like an appropriate time, you know?”

“What doesn't seem appropriate?” Alistair asked as he slowed to walk beside Atrina. At their surprised looks he shrugged. “I heard my name.”

Atrina gave him an amused look. “I think you were listening for it.”

He looked at her in mock surprise. “What? Noo, never... Well, maybe,” he said, earning a giggle from her.

Wanda glanced up at the sky in amusement before grinning. “Sooo, Alistair?”

Atrina looked at her best friend in suspicion.

“Yeees?” he asked, looking at Wanda over Atrina.

“We were curious...” she began, looking at Atrina with a knowing smirk.

Atrina held in a laugh as she realized where Wanda was heading. “Seeing as you were raised in the Chantry,” she continued for her, gaining Alistair's attention. “Have you never...?”

His eyebrows went up as an amused smile appeared on his face. “Never..? Never what? Had a good pair of shoes?”

Atrina laughed a little. “Um, no, but I think you know what I mean.”

“I'm not sure I do. Have I never seen a basilisk? Ate jellied ham? Have I never licked a lamppost in winter?”

Her and Wanda shared a laugh. “Why, Alistair, I think you're making fun of me.”

“Make fun of you, dear lady? Perish the thought,” he teased her. “Well, tell me, Atrina,” he began as he stopped walking.

Atrina stopped with him, but Wanda kept going with the others. She raised an eyebrow at him. “Tell you what?”

His grin grew a little. “Have _you_ ever licked a lamppost in winter?”

Atrina couldn't stop the smile coming so she put her hand to her mouth. “Um...” She blushed as she bit her lip. “No... I have _never_ licked a lamppost in winter...”

Alistair looked extremely pleased at the new information. “Good. I hear it's quite painful. I remember one of the younger initiates did it on a dare, once, and there was pointing and laughing... oh, the humanity,” he dramatized, causing her to throw her head back and laugh.

“That poor, poor boy!” she laughed.

When she finally calmed down she looked at Alistair to see him smiling at her. “Seeing as you told me, I'll tell you. I, myself, have never done _it_. That... Not that I haven't thought about it, of course, but... you knoow.”

Atrina giggled a little. “Um, never had the opportunity?”

“Well, living in the Chantry, is... not exactly a life for rambunctious boys.”

“Oh, and were you not one of those?”

Alistair laughed a little. “Maybe in the beginning, buuut the Chantry raised me to be a gentleman... especially in the presence of beautiful women such as yourself,” he said, smiling down at her. “That's... not so bad, is it?”

She felt herself blush again. “Um, I see you decided to spring it on me now then?” she asked, earning a grin from him.

“Well, how can I not? Perfect opportunity.”

“Ah, so it's just a good moment to say I'm beautiful?”

He scoffed. “You _know_ you're beautiful. You're ravishing, resourceful, and all those other things you'd probably hurt me for not saying,” he told her as he took a step closer to her.

She giggled a little. “Uh-huh, just be sure to remember that,” she teased, giving him a wink.

He laughed a little. “Oh, believe me, I won't forget.”

Another thought came to her mind. “But... aren't there women templars too?”

“Ha-ha, you would be right...” he said, rubbing the back of his neck when she brought that up.

“Sooo,” she said slowly, thinking about it. “You just haven't found the right woman you want to... uh, lick a lamppost with in the middle of winter?”

He cleared his throat, blushing a little, as he took a small step back. “Uh... right again.”

She smiled at him. “Nothing wrong with waiting, Alistair.”

“Heh... uh, don't take this the wrong way, but...” he began, glancing away, before looking back at her. “I'm sort of surprised that you and... Sam-- was it?-- never...?”

Her smile turned softer as she looked at the ground. “We... we were going to wait until after we were married, so...”

“Ah... I see,” he said before they became quiet for a moment. “Now,” he said in an over-dramatic voice. “Let us be off then, lest your risque talk make my ears blush.”

She giggled a little walking past him. “Too late for that, Alistair.”

“Oh, ha-ha... You were blushing more than me, I'll have you know,” he stated, catching up to her.

She paused a little before looking back up at him. “...You have no proof.” She then walked further on ahead of him hearing him chuckle behind her.

They arrived at the bridge that led into Redcliffe shortly after. A man came to meet them and looked beyond happy to see someone. After introducing himself as Tomas, he quickly told them about what was happening at Redcliffe, about the attacks from the undead that came from the castle.

“Bann Teagan?” Alistair asked after Tomas mentioned that the Bann was in Redcliffe. “Arl Eamon's brother? He's here?”

“Yes. He's not far, if you'll come with me.” Tomas led them to the Chantry to meet with Teagan.

Artina looked around at the villagers that had taken shelter in the church and felt her heart break a little at the sight. A child ran across the room bumping straight into her.

“Whoa, easy there,” Atrina said quickly catching the child before he fell backwards. Bending down to the little boy's level Atrina helped him stand up right. “Careful, sweetie.”

The little boy looked up at her before he started crying. Before Atrina could do anything, he jumped into her arms. “Awe, shhh, it's okay...” she cooed, rubbing the child's back.

“Miss, I am so sorry,” a woman said, coming up to her. “H- he thinks every female elf he sees is our servant...”

Atrina blinked up at the woman. There was a part of her that felt insulted but the child crying in her arms made her push that aside. “Oh, it's no trouble...” She looked down at the little boy in her arms. “Come now, sweetie, your mother's here...”

The little boy's grip tightened on Atrina's skin, pinching her some. He looked up at her, tears running down his face. “I'm sorry for being bad. Please don't go away again!”

Atrina's heart broke, before hugging the boy again. “You're not bad, honey, it's all right. But I'm not who you are looking for...”

The boy sniffled, hugging her around the neck. “Can't you be? I- I'll be good and everything! I can protect you!”

A man came up to them, kneeling down next to Atrina. “Charles, can I have your assistance?” the man asked, causing the boy to look up at him. “I need you to help protect the mothers and the other children in the Chantry... they are smaller than you are and they could use someone to look up to.”

Charles sniffed as he looked at the man. “I guess I can do that... but I want her to stay!” he said, clinging to Atrina even more tightly.

“How about this,” Atrina said, earning Charles' attention. “After the monsters are all defeated, I come back for a little while? I have to do a lot of traveling, but every time I'm in Redcliffe, I'll come see you?”

He looked at her with bright blue eyes before smiling. “Promise?”

“Pinkie promise,” she said, holding up her pinkie to him.

Without hesitation Charles wrapped his smaller finger around hers. “Okay! I'll go help protect the others!” he said before jumping out of her arms.

When he ran off back to his mother, to lead her to the other families, Atrina let out a breath. A hand was offered to her, in which she took. She looked up at the man as he helped her to stand.

“Thank you for the help,” she said, smiling gratefully. “I hadn't expected to be greeted by a child all of a sudden.” Looking up at the man she felt she knew him from somewhere.

“It was my pleasure, madam, and I must say, you handled the situation perfectly,” he said, smiling charmingly at her.

Atrina looked to where the children were. “What can I say? I've always had a soft spot for children.”

“And it shows, if I might be so bold as to ask, do you have any children of your own, my lady?”

Atrina looked at him in surprise at the question. “Oh, no, I'm not even married.”

The man brightened at that information. “Truly? I find that hard to believe. Surely, that is a crime somewhere.”

 _Ohh... uh, this is Teagan..._ she thought, realizing where she knew him from. _I should have recognized him right off the bat..._

Teagan took her hand, causing her to blush a little. “Ah, my apologies, my lady. Here I am asking you personal questions and I have not even introduced myself. I am Teagan, Bann of Rainesfere, brother to the arl,” he said before kissing the back of her hand.

Atrina could hear Wanda giggling beside her causing her to send her a little glare. Wanda smiled before nodding to the other side of her.

“I remember you, Bann Teagan,” Alistair said suddenly, stepping up beside Atrina just as she glanced in that direction. “Though the last time we met I was a lot younger and... covered in mud.”

Teagan straightened to look at him. “Covered in mud?” His eyes narrowed as he stared at him before they widened. “...Alistair? Is that you?” he said, dropping Atrina's hand and moving over to Alistair. He placed his hands on the blonde's shoulders, taking a good look at him. “It is _you_ , isn't it? You're alive! This is is wonderful news!” Teagan said, embracing Alistair.

“Still alive, yes, though not for long if Teyrn Loghain has anything to say about it,” Alistair said as they broke apart.

“Indeed. Loghain would have us believe all Grey Wardens died along with my nephew, amongst other things.”

“You don't believe his lies then?” Atrina asked, regaining Teagan's attention.

“What, that he pulled his men in order to save them? That Cailan risked everything in the name of glory?” Teagan scoffed. “Hardly. Loghain calls the Grey Wardens traitors, murderers of the king. I don't believe it. It is an act of a desperate man.” He then gave her another look over, as if slowly realizing something. “So... you are a Grey Warden as well?”

“Yes, and it is a pleasure to meet you, Bann Teagan,” she said, bowing a little. “My name is Atrina.”

“A pleasure as well, Lady Atrina, though I wish it were under better circumstances,” he said, bowing his head to her in return. “You're here to see my brother? Unfortunately, that might be a problem. Eamon is gravely ill. No one has heard from the castle in days. No guards patrol the walls, and no one has responded to my shouts.”

Teagan explained what he knew about the creatures coming from the castle. Atrina and Wanda shared a look. They both had an idea on what was happening. Atrina stepped over to Wanda as Teagan continued to explain what he knew.

“...Do you think we should tell them?” she whispered to the mage.

Wanda looked at her in surprise. “What? You're kidding, right? What good would it do now?”

Atrina sighed through her nose. “Well... I don't know. I just... I had a chance to warn Duncan and I blew it...”

Wanda gave her a look of sympathy. “Atrina, you can't blame yourself for what happened... you know as well as I do that nothing was going to stop it from happening...”

“Yeah, but... maybe Cailan and Duncan could have survived...”

“Let's talk about this later, okay?” Wanda offered when Teagan began asking Alistair for help against the walking dead.

“It's not just up to me, but I'm sure we will... right?” he asked, looking back at Atrina.

All eyes were on her now, making her feel slightly self conscious. “Of course we--”

“How pointless,” Morrigan began. “To help these villagers fight an impossible battle. One might think we had _enough_ to contend with elsewhere.”

Alistair turned to the apostate. “Don't you have any compassion in that heart of yours? Oh wait, I forgot. You don't _have_ one!”

“Enough!” Atrina stepped in between the two before things could get worse. “Look, I'm the leader, right? Last I checked I was and we're going to help this town. We need Eamon's help against Loghain and against the Blight.”

“I agree with the Bas Saarebas,” Sten spoke up, causing everyone to turn their attention to the qunari. “We should not be wasting time here. There are no darkspawn.”

Atrina had to keep from rolling her eyes. _Are we really doing this?_ “All right, fine.”

Alistair looked at her in shock. “Atrina, you can't--”

She held her hand up, silencing him. “Let me finish,” she said, glancing at him. “Let's do a vote, seeing as apparently some of us can't seem to agree.”

“A vote?” Leliana asked.

Atrina nodded. “That's right, a vote. Alistair and I will not be adding to the votes, just so we make it a little more fair.”

Alistair raised an eyebrow. “Not sure I like where this is going.”

Atrina gave him a wink. “Oh, you just might,” she said with a smile. “Okay, show of hands of those who don't want to stay in Redcliffe.”

“This is ridiculous!” Morrigan crossed her arms in a huff.

“Morrigan, both you and Sten voiced your objections, so it's only right that we see what everyone else wants to do. Majority decides on what we do here, all right?”

Sten raised his hand before Morrigan rolled her eyes and joined him.

“Anyone else?” Atrina asked, but no one raised their hands. “Okay, now show of hands of those who _want_ to stay and help.”

Leliana, Wanda, and Wynne raised their hands. Grunt sat down and raised his paw, causing Atrina to chuckle. She glanced at Alistair to see a big grin on his face before suppressing hers as best as she could. “Well, Teagan, it seems like we will be helping Redcliffe tonight, after all,” she said as she turned to the Bann.

Teagan grinned brightly as he took both Alistair and Atrina's hands. “Thank you! Thank you, this... means more to me than you can guess,” he said before releasing their hands. “Tomas, please tell Murdock what transpired. Then return to your post.”

“Yes, my lord.” Tomas turned and left the chantry.

“Now then,” Teagan began as he turned back to the group. “There is much to do before night falls. I've put two men in charge of the defense outside...”

 

 


	9. The Battle of Redcliffe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Atrina gets new armor while Alistair gets romance advice from a drunk... just in time for the battle!

* * *

 

 

After agreeing to help save Redcliffe that night they ran into a crying young woman. Her brother had run off after their mother had been dragged off by the undead.

They promised to help find him while they were in the village. Another woman called out to them asking if, while in Ostagar, they had seen her husband and son.

“Are you Jetta?” Atrina asked as she opened her pack.

“I-- yes, you've heard of me?”

“Here, I have something that belonged to your husband. He asked it be returned to you.” She handed her the small box she had picked up while in the wilds.

“This is-- oh no...” Jetta hugged the box to her chest. “I... thank you... Maker watch over you...”

Atrina smiled softly at her as Jetta walked away. With a sigh Atrina walked out of the Chantry as the others followed behind.

Turning to Alistair she beckoned him over to her as she stood a little away from the others. “I have a question for you...” she began when he was next to her. “I don't know if you actually have the answer, but you're the only person I can think of to ask this to.”

“What is it? I'll help however I can,” he said, wondering what she could be having trouble with.

“Well...” Atrina took in a deep breath. “What is with the men in your family?”

Alistair blinked at her. “Pardon?”

“First Cailan and now Teagan! I know he's not actually related to you by blood, but he's still your relative so I would assume you might have an idea,” she said, raising her hands in frustration.

“Atrina, you're going to have to spell it out for me here,” he told her not understanding what she was going on about.

She let out a frustrated sigh. “Why are your relatives flirting with me? I'm a freaking elf and they are just flirting with me like I'm the daughter of a human noble! What is with that?”

His eyes went wide. “Wait-- _Cailan_ flirted with you? When was this?”

“When I first arrived in Ostagar with Duncan,” she explained. “After he went to talk to Loghain, Duncan was like 'I should have warned you about how he can get,' and I was like 'you mean he's normally like this?' and Duncan goes, 'only to women who catch his interest.' I mean, good grief!”

Alistair was quiet for a moment. “Did...” he said, causing her to look at him. “Did you flirt back?”

Atrina's eyes widened. “What? No. Why would you ask me that? And you didn't answer my question.”

“I was just curious,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck, looking a little nervous. “And... why wouldn't they flirt with you?”

Atrina stared at him before pointing to her ears. “Normally if a human shows any 'interest' in me, he calls me a knife-eared bitch. They don't normally call me by my name, much less 'my lady', or 'Lady Atrina' as if I have an actual title to my name.”

“But you _do_ have a title to your name,” he said, causing her to look at him in surprise. “You are a Grey Warden. You deserve respect, no matter your race.”

“I...” She looked down at the ground. “I hadn't thought of it like that...”

“Besides, I would respect you even if you weren't a Warden,” Alistair said above a whisper, making her almost question if she heard it.

She looked up at him feeling her heart pick up in speed. “You would?” she asked before looking away from him. “I doubt we would have even met, though...”

“Well... the Grey Wardens do have a place reserved for them in Denerim at the castle,” he said, causing her to look back up at him. “You lived in Denerim, yes? We might have met.”

She gave him a half smile. “Maybe if the Blight wasn't happening, you would have been at the arl's castle when his son took me and the other elves from the Alienage.”

“Huh... I guess you're right,” he said, thinking it over. “We just... sort of stumbled into each other, huh?”

“Perhaps... Though I don't ever really think things happen on accident,” she said, glancing away from him. _Everything here is_ set _to happen... I don't know why I keep saying otherwise at times..._

“...You all right?”

Atrina looked back up at Alistair to see him giving her a concern look. “Fine, just... thinking.” She gave him a small smile before letting out a breath. “Come on, let's find this Murdock guy and see if we can help with anything here.”

After speaking with Murdock Morrigan decided to stay behind. “I will fight tonight but I refuse to keep hearing you promise every simpleton in this village something,” she stated as she crossed her arms.

Atrina held up her hands. “Fair enough, as long as you are here tonight then I have no problems. There is a tavern up the hill, you can wait there or in the chantry if you wish. Wanda, why don't you and Wynne go look for Katlyn's little brother? And maybe go speak to Dwyn?”

“Oooh, good idea! We can get more done if we split up,” Wanda said.

“I will join them,” Sten said, causing everyone to look at him in surprise. “Everyone here should fight and I will see to it that this Dwyn will contribute.”

Atrina smiled at Sten. “Thanks, Sten.”

“Do not thank me, Woman.” The qunari turned and walked away.

“Well... it's a start,” Atrina mumbled before Wanda and Wynne went after him. “All right,” she said as she turned to the last of her group. “Let's go find Owen.”

After finding the blacksmith's shop Atrina knocked on the door. She jumped when she heard something break against the door. Alistair moved in front of her just as a voice called from the other side of the door. Grunt stood beside Alistair and growled at the door a little.

“Go away, curse you! Leave me in peace! You've already taken everything out of my stores! There's nothing left!”

“Ser Owen?” Atrina called. “We just want to talk!”

“Eh?” Owen said from behind the door. “Who's that? What do you want? Haven't I suffered enough?” he said almost whimpering at the end.

“I'm sorry, but could we come in? It'd be easier to talk without a door in the way.”

“Huh? Oh... right, just give me a minute and I'll get the locks. All I ask is that you don't make any trouble.”

The sound of shuffling was heard beyond the door. Alistair remained in front of Atrina however. “Let me go in first...” he whispered as he glanced back at her.

“I'm sure he won't hurt us,” she told him, but he didn't look convinced.

Before he could respond the door opened. “Well, what do you want?” Owen asked as he moved away from the door to let them in.

Alistair walked in first but Atrina moved around him before he could react. The smell of alcohol burned her nose causing her to cough.

“Maker's breath! What is that smell? It's like someone set a brewery on fire!” Leliana exclaimed as she covered her nose.

“Somebody's been drinki-ing,” Alistair said in a singsong voice as Atrina stifled a giggle.

“So I let you in. You wanted to talk,” Owen stated as he leaned against a support beam. “Now we're talking. Mind telling me who you are?”

“I'm Atrina, this is Alistair and Leliana,” she said, gesturing to her comrades.

“Right... Funny, you didn't sound like an elf behind the door.”

Atrina furrowed her brows as she looked at him. “Um... how exactly is an elf supposed to sound?”

“Well, not like the rest of us,” Owen stated.

Atrina closed her eyes as she tried to avoid becoming annoyed. “I grew up in Denerim, there's no reason for me to sound any different from anyone else born and raised in Ferelden.”

Owen just shrugged, showing he didn't really care. “Anyhow, you already know who I am, so care to join me as I get besotted? Or is there something in particular you wanted?” he asked as he moved over to a bottle of ale.

“Well--” Atrina stepped forward before hearing something crunch under her feet. She looked down to see the remains of a glass bottle.

“I knew it,” Alistair stated as he looked down at the bottle with some disgust.

“Grunt, stay back, all right?” she said as she looked back at Grunt who remained outside. He whined a little, but laid down in front of the door, guarding it.

“It was empty when I threw it,” Owen stated as he poured himself a glass. “You have no idea what's been happening here. Murdock keeps hammering me for more equipment all the while ignoring the fact that my Valena is trapped up in the castle with those-- those monsters!”

“You can't really expect him to rush up to the castle before things are safe here in the village?” Alistair asked as he shook his head.

“Look,” Atrina began before Owen could start yelling. “Why don't we start from the beginning? Your daughter works for the arlessa, yes?”

Owen sighed before taking a swing of his ale. “Yes, she's one of the arlessa's maids. She told me of things going on with the arlessa and a tutor she got for the boy...”

“Okay, tell us about it? We plan on going to the castle as soon as the fight here tonight is over, so any information you can give us might help us,” Atrina told him, hoping it would get him to help. “And I promise we'll look for you daughter while we're there.”

“Yes! Your daughter's safety is very important,” Leliana said as she stepped up. “I am sure we can clear a way for her to get back to the village from the castle, possibly get one of the arl's knights to accompany her if they are able.”

Owen stared at them for a moment before shaking his head. “Right, well, all I really know is that the arlessa is from Orlais and much too young for our arl...” he said before going on to explain how his daughter suspected as an affair between the arlessa and Connor's tutor.

She heard Alistair scoff lightly behind her. Looking back at him he shook his head, telling her never mind. Owen didn't notice the exchange as he talked about how he wished he had listened to his daughter's warnings before.

“As we said, we'll look for her and promise that she'll come home to you, one way or another,” Atrina reminded him. “But Murdock does need equipment for his men... we can't hope to survive the night and get to your daughter without your help.”

Owen reluctantly agreed. “Murdock better send his men here quickly if he wants me to make the repairs in time for night fall.”

Atrina smiled as she nodded. “Understood, we'll tell him.”

“But there's no chance I'm sobering up before morning,” Owen stated as he started up the forge.

“As long as you don't injure yourself, I won't argue,” she said before Alistair started pulling her out of the shop. “We'll be back!”

Alistair closed the door behind them and breathed in the fresh air. “Ahh, finally! Thought I was going to get drunk just from smelling it.”

Atrina turned to him with her hands on her hips. “Okay, what was that?”

Alistair blinked at her. “Uhh, a drunk blacksmith.”

She gave him a look. “Not _him_ , you.” She gestured to back at the smithy. “What was with how you were acting? And I don't mean about his drinking. I know you saw that I noticed.”

Alistair sighed. “The arlessa... has never been my favorite person...”

“Because...” she trailed off when she realized she never actually talked to Alistair about living in Redcliffe. “I know this is a strange time to ask, but besides your mother having been a maid at Redcliffe, how do you know the arl and his family? Did Eamon raise you?”

“Raise me? Oh, no that would have been the dogs,” he said, causing her to hold back a giggle. He seemed to want her to start giggling because he continued. “Giant, slobbering dogs from the Anderfels. A whole pack of them, in fact.”

“Uh-huh... A whole pack for just one boy?” she asked as she looked at him with amusement. “You must have been a handful then.”

“Well, of course, but they were flying dogs, you see. Surprisingly strict parents, too, and devout Andrastians, to boot,” he said, his accent flaring a little at the end, which got a successful giggle from her.

“Isn't that what they say about Anders? Not the flying part, the other bit.”

He grinned at her. “That and that they make a great deal of cheese. Funny, but the dogs never mentioned cheese. As a matter of fact, if you said cheese around them, they'd start growling. Isn't that odd?” he asked before his smile fell. “Or did I dream all of that? Funny the dreams you'll have when you sleep on the cold, hard ground, isn't it?”

Her look turned into one of shock. “On the floor?! She made you sleep on the floor?”

Alistair jumped a little at her reaction, having not expected it. A few of the men who were training to fight gave them odd looks, which caused Alistair to grab her hand and lead her away from onlookers. “Atrina--”

“She made you sleep on the floor with the dogs! You, the son of the Ki--”

Alistair put a hand over her mouth and shushed her. “Did you forget that was a secret?” he asked in a hushed tone.

Glaring at him she pushed on his hand. He almost hesitated in removing it from her mouth, but when she gave him an exasperated look, he relented. Atrina took a deep breath before looking up at him again.

“I'm sorry, but are you saying she honestly didn't know?”

“Yes,” he answered with a sigh. “Eamon never told her-- as far as I know that's still true today. There had been rumors flying around that I was actually Eamon's son--”

“And I take it that didn't sit well with her.” Atrina crossed her arms over her chest as she glared.

“No, she made sure the castle wasn't a home for me by the time the arl sent me off to the chantry at age ten...”

Her glare didn't let up. “Just because of some stupid rumor... why didn't he say anything? If she had known who you really wer--”

“Look, Atrina, it doesn't matter anymore, all right?” he said, making her stop short. “I don't blame her anymore and I don't blame the arl for not telling her. She was Orelsian, after all. He may have loved her, but at the same time he couldn't have been sure what she would have done if she knew.”

“But you were still a child...”

Alistair placed his hands on her shoulders and gave her grateful smile. Grateful that she cared so much. “I know... but I remember I had an amulet with Andraste's holy symbol on it. The only thing I had of my mother's,” he said, changing the topic away from the arlessa. His eyes narrowed as he thought back to the amulet. “I was so furious at being sent away I tore it off and threw it at the wall and it shattered.” He frowned at the memory. “Stupid, stupid thing to do... The arl came by the monastery a few times to see how I was, but I was stubborn. I hated it there and blamed him for everything... and eventually he just stopped coming.”

Atrina placed her hands on his as they remained on her shoulders. “I go back to my earlier comment about you being a child then,” she said with a soft smile as she squeezed his hands a little.

“And raised by dogs. Or I may as well have been, the way I acted. But maybe all young bastards act like that, I don't know.”

She looked away from him. “When I was younger... my mother would go on and on about her travels... She had this... bracelet that she would wear, 'for luck' she'd say... but she would always leave and it made me so bitter. I thought... I thought if I got rid of the bracelet she would stay home...” As she spoke, her memories morphed and changed. The bracelet was true, but her mother back on Earth had liked to pick up men, her bracelet helped men in the area to know she was free, while her mother on Thedas actually went traveling and had the bracelet with her always. In both versions of her memories she remembered hating the bracelet. “So... I got rid of it... hid it away so mother would stay...”

She felt tears suddenly start to sting her eyes. “Mother still left... She was upset with me, but she still had to go...” She couldn't remember what happened with her human mother, part of her wanted to say she ended up in jail for a few days, forcing Atrina to stay at a friends house. But her elven mother... “She ended up being caught by some humans when she had been on her way back to Denerim... they killed her and a passing elven family saw what happened and brought my father back what they managed to take from the humans when they weren't looking...”

Suddenly she felt herself pulled forward before arms were around her. She melted into Alistair's embrace. The splint mail armor was uncomfortable against her cheek, but she couldn't bring herself to move. His head rested lightly on hers as he held her. She could tell he was a little tense, not used to being the one to initiate the hugs, but he did it anyway. Her heart swelled at the gesture.

Taking a deep breath she moved back from him, wiping her tears with her finger tips. “Sorry...” she mumbled as he released his hold on her.

Alistair took a tentative step back from her, seeming nervous, but happy to see her not crying anymore. “No, no, don't be...”

Grunt letting out a bark caught their attention as they turned to see Leliana and Grunt standing a little bit away from them. The wardens blushed a little, having forgotten about the bard and the canine.

Leliana gave them an understanding smile. “I tried to give you as much privacy as I could... Here,” she said, moving to Atrina. She pulled out a lacy handkerchief and handed it to the elf. “To dry your tears.”

Atrina thanked her quietly as she took the handkerchief. “Again, I'm really sorry,” she began as she turned back to Alistair. “We were talking about you and then I made it about me--”

“No!” he said suddenly, causing her to shut her mouth. “Y-you didn't-- I mean... Look, it's fine, all right? I...” he trailed off when he glanced at Leliana, almost as if remembering she was there once more. “Um...”

“I think what Alistair means,” Leliana began as Alistair fidgeted. “Is that you should never feel awful about sharing something meaningful with him. He shared something important to him with you, so you should feel welcomed to share with him.”

“Uh... yes, that's...” Alistair looked at the bard in shock at hearing her say what he had trouble voicing.

Atrina smiled as she looked at Alistair. It was a watery smile, but bright. “Thank you.”

He shrugged as he glanced away. “Well, you know-- I mean, you're welcome,” he said quickly as he looked back at her. “Right, well, should we go talk to Ser Perth?”

Atrina nodded as she handed Leliana back her handkerchief. “Right, sure. Thanks again for letting me use it, Leliana.”

The redhead smiled as she tucked the cloth away. “My pleasure.”

Grunt barked happily as he moved to Atrina's side. He licked her hand, causing her to giggle lightly. He barked once more before suddenly running off.

“Grunt! Wait!” Atrina chased after him. She followed him onto the docks before finding him scratching on a door to one of the buildings. “What is it?”

Alistair and Leliana shortly joined her side. “Well, that was unexpected.”

“I think there's something in here he wants us to see,” Atrina said before opening the door. The place looked abandoned, having once looked like it had been stocked with many different items.

“Oh, this is the general store that Murdock mentioned,” Leliana said as they stepped inside.

“I thought he said there wasn't anything in here,” Alistair commented as he walked over to barrels that were in the corner. “These are filled with oil...”

Atrina snapped her fingers. “Of course!” she said as she suddenly remembered that the oil was a big help in the game. _Why do I keep remembering almost at the last minute?_

Alistair looked at her in confusion. “What?”

“Hm? Oh, uh... maybe the oil can be used for the battle tonight?” she offered while mentally scolding herself for her little outburst. _He's going to start to think I'm crazy._

Leliana nodded her head in agreement. “That sounds like a wonderful idea! Use them to set the undead on fire, yes?”

“Exactly! I think Ser Perth might find it useful, seeing as he's head of the front line defenses.”

“Good plan. What're you doing?” Alistair asked as Atrina moved over to a chest that was near the counter.

“Seeing if there's anything else we can use in here, might find something useful besides the oil,” she answered as she started to pick the lock. One of her lock picks broke, causing her to curse. “Seriously? Come on...” she grumbled before trying again.

After a little bit of persisting Atrina managed to get the chest unlocked. “Bingo!” she cheered before opening the chest.

“Anything good?” Leliana came over and stood beside her.

“Ooooh!” Artina pulled out a dark leather armor.

“Isn't that dwarven armor? What's it doing here?”

“Well, Dywn is a dwarf, right? Maybe he brought it here and sold it to the person who owned the general store at the time,” Atrina offered as she stood up. Holding the armor against her body she turned to Leliana. “Hmm... think it will fit me?”

Leliana looked at it with a critical eye. “It's possible, but the kilt will be a little short on you...”

“Think so?” She held it up in front of her once more. “I want to try it on and see. I think some of us need an upgrade... Alistair, do you want to see if there's anything in here for you?”

He blinked at her before looking down at his armor. He had to admit that it wasn't in the best shape anymore. “Well, I guess.”

“It doesn't look like there is much else in here,” Leliana pointed out. “I suspect when the undead started attacking, everyone grabbed what they could get from here. At least, what they thought was important.”

“Well, maybe Owen has something?” Atrina offered as she looked back at Alistair. “He is a black smith... Want to see if he has anything?”

Alistair made a face at the thought about going back to the drunken black smith. “...I suppose.”

Atrina pulled out a money pouch and offered it to him. “Hopefully there's enough in there. If not, we have some stuff I've been meaning to sell anyways.”

“Wait, you're not coming with me?”

Atrina shrugged a little. “I thought you could do it while I was changing. You don't have to, but that way you don't have to wait for me.”

“Oh, well, in that case,” he said as he took the pouch. “I'll be back.” Alistair turned and walked out of the store.

 

Alistair had been able to buy a new set of armor. Heavy chain mail, red steel. It was a good fit even though he would rather be wearing his Grey Warden armor once more.

 _Loghain still has that bounty on our heads, even though I know we're safe from his people here... Besides, it's all packed up. Atrina said we would wear it again once we knew where we stood with Eamon,_ he thought as he changed into the new armor. Owen had let him change in the shop.

Once changed he shifted in the armor to get a better feel for it. “Not what I'm used to, but it should work...” he mumbled mostly to himself when he moved to pick up his pack.

A couple of things spilled out, causing him to groan. “Really?” He knelt down to start picking it up when Owen reached down and picked up a rose that had fallen out. “Uhhh...”

“Huh, odd for a Grey Warden to have,” the black smith said before Alistair took it out of his hand.

“What's so odd about it? Actually, never mind.” Alistair shifted the pack onto his shoulder before turning to leave.

“You ever going to give it to her?”

Alistair paused in his tracks before looking back at Owen. “Give what to whom?”

Owen took a gulp of his ale. “That rose to the gal you got your eyes on.”

Alistair tensed. “Um, I think you're mistaken--”

“I maybe a drunk, but I ain't blind. I saw the way you were standing in front of that elf girl when I opened the door.”

“Atrina,” Alistair said suddenly. “Her _name_ is Atrina.”

Owen waved him off. “Right, right. But you get my point, yeah?”

“Uh, no, I really don't.”

Owen sighed before taking another big gulp of his drink. “The way I see it, no man picks a flower unless he's got a certain gal in mind to give it to.”

“I...” Alistair trailed off as he felt unsure on how to respond to that. Maybe Atrina had been on his mind when he picked it. If he admitted it to himself he actually thought about her whenever he pulled the rose out of his pack when he set up his tent at night.

“Ah, haven't gathered up the courage, have ya?” Owen said before smirking when Alistair glared at him. “Thought so.”

Alistair scoffed as Owen took another drink of the ale. “I don't think it's really any of your business.”

“True, but if I were you, I'd give it to her sooner rather than later,” Owen said, giving the younger man unwanted advice. “Seeing as that rose will die eventually, and so you can let the gal know you're interested in her. You gotta tell her at some point before some other man comes in and steals her away.”

Alistair's mind jumped directly to when Teagan had been flirting with Atrina in the chantry. A frown appeared on his face as he remembered Atrina blushing at the attention from the Bann.

“...Or has someone already done just that?” Owen asked, looking a bit more sober for a moment.

Alistair's eyes widened before they narrowed. “...Shouldn't you be working on armor and weapons-- or, or something?” he said before turning and walking out of the shop.

A sigh left him as he started heading towards the general store. _This is ridiculous, Atrina wouldn't be interested in Teagan... even though he's a Bann... has lands... She's a Grey Warden! Her life now belongs to the Order. Though... she has stated that in the past she had been engaged, so she obviously wants to get married one day..._ Alistair paused in his walking and looked up. _Wait, why am I even thinking about this?_ he thought just before the door to the general store opened.

Alistair's breath was caught in his throat as Atrina and Leliana walked out. Atrina was wearing the dwarvern armor and it was snug on her. It was almost like a second skin with the way it hugged her figure. His eyes trailed over her before noticing that the kilt was a little higher up on her than the previous leather armor.

“...I think it's called duster armor, or something like that,” Atrina said as she and Leliana walked by the training area in front of the chantry. “Do you think it's too small? I'm not used to showing off this much leg.”

Leliana smiled before spotting Alistair staring with his mouth hanging open. A giggle left her. “Oh, I don't know, I think it helps to accentuate your figure... wouldn't you agree, Alistair?”

Alistair's mouth snapped shut as his eyes moved to the redhead. “...What?”

Atrina looked at Alistair and her eyes brightened. “Oh! You found some new armor,” she said as she closed the distance between them. “Hmm...” She circled him as she inspected his new armor. “I like it! Though I don't think red's your color,” she teased as she stopped in front of him.

“U-uh, well, it was what he had, so...” he said, fidgeting a little as he avoided her eye.

“Armor's armor. If it helps keep you safe then I won't argue,” she said with a smile. Then she noticed he was squirming a little. “You okay?”

His eyes snapped to hers. “What? Yes, I-I'm fine.” His voice cracked slightly which caused him to quickly clear his throat. He chuckled nervously. “J-just need some water. You thirsty? I'm thirsty...” he said quickly as he pulled out a water pouch from his pack.

She gave him a half amused/half confused look before turning to see Wanda, Wynne, and Sten walk up to them. “Hey! How'd it go?”

“We found Kaitlyn's brother at their house and convinced him to give us his grandfather's sword to fight with.” Wanda held up the Green Blade as evidence. “Had to tell him that we would pay his sister for it, but that can wait til later. Also got Dwyn to agree to fight-- and that didn't cost us a thing!”

Atrina smiled brightly. “Great! Now we just need to talk to Ser Perth and get some supplies for tonight.”

Wanda nodded. “Yep! Oh, here you go, Alistair.” She handed him the sword.

He took the sword in surprise. “For me?”

“You're the only one that uses a sword and a shield. Sten uses a two handed weapon, so it makes sense to give it to you,” Wanda stated as if it was obvious.

“Isn't this sword better than his current one?” Atrina asked.

“It actually has a place for a rune to be attached,” Wynne said as she pointed out the area to place a rune. “This is a very old and enchanted sword.”

Alistair held up the sword. “It's different from most swords... not human make, I'd wager. I'll use it, but I think we need to sell some things...”

Sten nodded. “It is a fine sword. Treat it with dignity.”

“I think Sten and I can take care of selling some items,” Leliana said, volunteering the qunari to help her. “You should go see Ser Perth.”

“While you're doing that, I'll go see to the tavern about supplies,” Wynne stated before the three of them left.

Atrina looked at Alistair, Wanda, and Grunt. “Well, I guess we're going to see Ser Perth.”

“Cool! By the way, loooove the new armor! Duster, right?” Wanda asked, looking over Atrina's armor. “Isn't that normally in Ozammar?”

Atrina smiled brightly. “Really?” She did a little spin, making the kilt of her armor flare up. When she stopped spinning she didn't notice Alistair averting his gaze. “Don't think it's too short? Leliana says it's good, but...”

“You look great!”

“I have to agree with your friend.” They turned to see Teagan walking up to them, his eyes remaining on Atrina. “You look lovely in the armor, Lady Atrina.”

Alistair's eyes widened when he saw Atrina blush as the Bann stood in front of her with a charming smile. “Oh, um, Bann Teagan... I thought you were staying in the chantry?”

“I thought I'd look and see how things were progressing out here. I heard from Murdock that you were actually able to get Owen to start up his furnace once more,” he said, sounding impressed.

“Well... um, Wanda was able to get Dwyn to agree to fight tonight,” Atrina said, trying to get the attention off of her.

“So I have heard, well done, Lady Wanda,” Teagan said as he looked at the mage. “It will help morale, I'm sure, in knowing that a warrior such as Dwyn will be fighting along side us.”

“We are actually about to go talk to Ser Perth,” Alistair stated, earning Teagan's attention. “Which we should probably do _now_ before it gets to be too late.”

Atrina looked back at Alistair before looking up at the sky. “Ooh, you're right... it's getting later, isn't it?”

“Right, well, I'll let you get back to it,” Teagan said before taking Atrina's hand and kissing the back of it. “May the Maker watch over you tonight, my lady.”

Atrina stared at him with wide eyes. “Um, thank you... uh, my lord...You as well.”

He smiled at her before bidding the rest of them goodbye. When Teagan was back inside the chantry Wanda started laughing.

Atrina turned to her and glared. “Shush!” she said before walking past her and Alistair, leading the way up to the windmill where Ser Perth and his knights were stationed.

 

After telling Ser Perth about the oil in the general store, they went to the chantry and convinced Mother Hannah to give the knights chantry amulets to help their morale. On the way out of the chantry, Atrina paid Kaitlyn for her grandfather's sword. After they were done with everything they met up with the rest of the group at the tavern.

“Ah good, you're here,” Leliana said as the three entered the tavern. “I want you to know that Sten and I found a spy from our dear teryn.”

“What?!” Alistair said in shock before looking around.

“Yes, but he says he has yet to be able to send further word to Loghain about what is happening here,” Leliana continued. “Seems the teryn only knows that arl is ill and that his knights are searching for the Urn.” She nodded to the back of the tavern. “He's the little elf in the corner. His name is Berwick and I have managed to persuade him to join the fight tonight.”

Atrina felt greatly impressed by Leliana's skills. _No wonder she becomes the Spy Master for the Inquisition..._ “Great work, we need all the men we can get.”

Leliana beamed happily at her. “Thank you! Here is the letter from the teryn and his men, confirming that he is a spy.”

Atrina took the letter and read it over before feeling someone hover over her shoulder. Looking out of the corner of her eye she saw Alistair reading the letter. If he had his arms wrapped around her and his chin on her shoulder it would have been similar to when Older Alistair had looked at the photo of them on her phone...

 _...What's a phone?_ she thought, feeling confused by her own memories.

“Something wrong?” Alistair asked, causing her to look back at him. He hadn't moved away from her shoulder so she couldn't turn her head all the way towards him without risk of bumping into his face.

“U-um, nothing,” she said quickly before folding up the letter. _I'll ask Wanda later if she remembers..._ she told herself, but she had a feeling she might forget to even ask her.

“What do you mean you're still charging? We're in a war zone!”

Atrina looked up to see Wanda talking to the tavern owner, Lloyd. Raising an eyebrow she watched the exchange.

“These blokes still have some coin. Just 'cause those things are out there, don't mean I can't stop making a living!” Lloyd stated, refusing to budge on charging for drinks.

Wanda rolled her eyes. “Look, pal, while you're hold up in here, rolling around in your coin-- that you may or may not be able to actually do anything _with_ after tonight-- these men are risking their lives to protect what's left of Redcliffe! The _least_ you can do is give them a few free drinks!”

Lloyd shook his head as he crossed his arms. “Nu-uh! It ain't my fault they're being idiots and not waiting for all of this to blow over. It they want drinks, they bloody well better pay for 'em!”

Magic cackled off Wanda's body as her anger grew. Atrina's eyes widened before Wynne moved over to the younger mage. “Wanda, breathe--”

“Oh, I'm fine, Wynne,” Wanda stated as her glaring eyes didn't leave Lloyd.

Atrina watched as the tavern owner's resolve start to crumble. The elf smirked as Wanda slammed her hand on the counter, causing everyone in the tavern to look at her.

“You've got two choices now, _Lloyd_ ,” Wanda said width a sneer. “Either you give these men free drinks, or...” She smirked. “You fight along side them. _Tonight_.”

Lloyd's jaw dropped. “B-but the Bann said we don't have to fight!”

Wanda leaned back and crossed her arms smugly. “The Bann's not here, is he?”

Lloyd gulped before groaning in frustration. “Fine...” He turned to the men in the corner. “Free drinks!”

The men jumped up and cheered as they raised their mugs to Wanda. They ran to the counter as Lloyd grumbled. “Sodding mage... where's a bloody templar when ya need one?”

“Uh, what was that, Lloyd?” Wanda asked, causing the bartender to shut his mouth.

Atrina grinned proudly as she moved over to Wanda. “Very nice!”

Wanda grinned back. “Thank you.”

“I can't believe you actually got him to serve free drinks,” the barmaid said with amazement.

“Oh, it was nothing really,” Wanda said as she flipped her hair over her shoulder, feeling proud. “Those men need to have good morale for tonight, after all.”

“All right, all right, let's go before your head swells up in size,” Wynne said before ushering Wanda out.

Wanda pouted. “But--”

“It's getting close to sundown,” Alistair said as he looked out the tavern door. “We better hurry.”

Atrina and Wanda shared wide eyed looks. “Already?” Atrina asked before looking out the door. She stared at the purple and orange sky in shock. “Damn! I thought we had more time...” She turned to the others as Sten and Morrigan joined them by the door. “Okay, we need to figure out who goes where... Leliana, you're with Ser Perth and his men at the windmill. Use your arrows for as long as you can. Sten, Morrigan, go with her. You will help the first line of defense.

“Wynne, I want you healing everyone as much as you can. Keep an eye on our health and keep an eye out for any monsters coming from behind,” Atrina ordered before turning to the others. “Alistair, Wanda, Grunt,” she said looking at the three of them. “We four will be at the Chantry with Murdock, in case the undead slip past the others.”

No one had any objections to the plan. Morrigan distributed out more health potions and stamina droughts that she had made while in the tavern during the day. After everyone made sure their weapons and armor were all up to the task they split off to their designated locations.

 

“I'm glad you're here and fighting along side us, Warden,” Murdock said as he and the other villagers stood armed and ready for the night.

Atrina glanced at him as she too stood ready to fight. “Let's pray that it's enough...”

She looked around at the others with her. Grunt was by her side, standing ready to fight. Wanda activated her rock armor as Alistair did a few test swings of his new blade. He caught her looking at him and gave her a half smile and a nod. Returning the smile she nodded back at him before looking towards the hill.

Night had fully set and Atrina could make out something coming from the bridge of the castle. Last minute villagers left their homes and ran for the chantry. Murdock cursed as he waved for the doors to be opened. “I told them to be here _before_ nightfall!”

“They're here!” someone shouted and Atrina felt her heart begin to race the moment she heard fighting from above.

“The oil's working,” Alistair said as he came up beside her. Atrina saw fire lighting the hill and felt relief in knowing that the trap had indeed worked.

 _There had been so many times in the game where it never activated... glad to know it actually works..._ she thought before hearing moans.

Everyone turned towards the noise. “Go see what it is,” Murdock ordered one of the men.

The villager started to creep over towards the docks. He cautiously looked into the water before a hand shot up. The man jumped back before slashing the undead as it tried to climb out of the dock. “It's the undead!”

“Send someone to get my comrades!” Atrina ordered as the undead started to climb out of the waters. “Have Ser Perth and the knights remain up there just in case!”

The undead came at them all at once, some with weapons, some with only their hands. Atrina's stomach churned at the sight of actually seeing the dead. Rotting flesh and skin hanging loose on the corpses was the stuff of nightmares. But when the smell hit her nose she had swallow back the bile that was threatening to escape.

Battle cries were heard all around her and Atrina forced herself to focus on the energy around her before she let out a battle cry of her own. An undead came at her, brandishing its sword, intent to kill.

She dodged the sword and quickly slashed with her own. The undead growled and groaned as it took the hit, but it continued to try to take her down. Atrina sidestepped the blade before using her cloaking. The dead soldier looked around in confusion before it was suddenly sliced in half by two blades.

Atrina's cloak disappeared as the undead fell to the ground. She stabbed it in the head for good measure before feeling a sharp pain in her cheek. Looking behind her she saw an arrow struck the ground before she looked up to see an archer fire another arrow at her.

Jumping out of the way she ran towards the undead archer and quickly worked on taking it down. Before it could pull out its sword, Atrina slashed off its head. Wiping her cheek she let out a breath before hearing someone shout out in pain.

Looking around she saw Berwick, the elf spy, on the ground as an undead scratched at him. Atrina rushed over and stunned the walking corpse before kicking it to the ground and stabbing it in the head. She turned to Berwick and grabbed his arm. “Come on, get up, up!”

“Gah! Y-you're helping me? Why?” he asked as she put his arm over her shoulder and hurried him away from the fight. “I thought you would hope I'd die--” He let out a groan when she moved to sit him down.

“Hardly,” she said as she pulled out a health potion. “I don't want anyone to die tonight. Take this and get back in the fight.” She gave him the potion before going back out into fray.

A couple of times she felt her strength return as her wounds were healed. She silently thanked the Maker for the mage as she continued the fight.

The fight was long and grueling. Atrina felt herself start to slow before remembering that Morrigan had given her a stamina drought. After drinking the mix she felt her energy return and she fought with more focus once more.

Less undead arrived when the skies started to turn lighter in color. When Atrina heard the call that it was over she almost collapsed in relief.

“Whoa... don't fall now,” Alistair said as he suddenly appeared at her side, catching her when her legs started to buckle.

She breathed heavily before realizing he was breathing almost as hard as she. “I... don't remember fighting for so long before...”

“Well, you've done better than most,” he said as he nodded to the others around them that had already fallen to the ground in both exhaustion and happiness.

She looked at them with confusion as Alistair led her to the chantry steps to rest. “How... how have I not fallen like them? I can still move okay...” She sat down ungracefully on the stone steps.

He grinned at her as he sat down next to her. “Well, that would be the Joining working in you,” he said as he took off his gloves before wiping his brow.

Astonishment filled her at the idea. “Really? I mean, I figured it did something special...”

He chuckled, starting to sound less winded. “It does more than have us sense darkspawn, you know. Our stamina is increased.”

“...Is that why I'm feeling hungry all of a sudden?” she asked before Alistair handed her some jerky meat. She looked up at him to see his smile.

“We'll see if we can scrounge up some more food soon... We both need it,” he said knowingly as she took the meat. He chuckled when she almost inhaled the meat before he handed her his water pouch.

After she was done she sighed, feeling a little better. “Well... at least the village is safe...” she murmured before the courtyard exploded in cheers.

The people in the chantry started to filter out, with Teagan leading the villagers. His eyes locked onto hers as she heard Alistair sigh next to her.

“Yes... at least...” he mumbled as the Bann eagerly pushed past the husbands reuniting with their wives, fathers with children, all to get Atrina's side.

“You did it!” Teagan said as he knelt down beside her. He took her hands in his. “You actually did it. All of you did it!” He looked around at the scene before him, looking overwhelmed with joy.

Atrina smiled tiredly at him. “Yes, we all did.” She looked at Alistair with a smile before Teagan helped her to stand.

Alistair smiled to himself as he moved to stand as well.

“Everyone, please,” Teagan said as he turned to the men who fought the undead. “Come inside for some rest and water.”

“What about the castle?” Atrina asked softly as Teagan placed a hand on her back to lead her inside the chantry.

“For now, rest. We shall see to my brother and the castle the moment you and your comrades have enough strength returned... For I fear I will need your help once more at the castle.” He spoke in a hushed tone to her.

“I... Thank you, my lord.”

He smiled kindly at her. “It is I who should thank you, my lady... but please, you may call me Teagan.”

Before she could respond she heard a cry of cheer before feeling a small body run into hers. If Teagan hadn't been keeping a hand on her, Atrina would have fallen over. She looked down to see a familiar face looking up at hers.

A big grin appeared on the boy's face. “You're okay!” Charles exclaimed in delight as he took her free hand.

A smile lit her face as she let Charles drag her off further into the chantry. For now everything else could wait as she got a moment to relax with the young boy. She sat with him as he talked animatedly about what he could hear from the battle, giving his own interpretations about what had happened.

It wasn't long however when Atrina found herself dozing off. Vaguely, she heard Charles' mother softly shush him, telling him to let Atrina rest.

As she drifted off she felt someone carefully raise her head before placing something soft under it. Was it a pillow? She wasn't sure, but it felt so inviting to just let her sleep. A nap did sound rather nice.

Though she was lost to the world in sleep the moment a blanket covered her.

 

 


	10. A Rose & The Undead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roses are red,  
> The Wardens are too,  
> Why are you giving me this without clicking on you?

* * *

 

 

“Atrinaaa, it's time to get up.”

Atrina groaned softly at the voice that was trying, and succeeding, to get her awake. Blindly she found the edge of the blanket and pulled it over her head.

A sigh left the person before Atrina was shaken lightly. “Come _on_ , we still have to get to the castle!”

Atrina blinked her eyes open before squinting them at Wanda, who was looking at her with annoyance. “...Wait, it's still happening?”

Wanda rolled her eyes. “Yes, we're still...” She leaned down low and whispered in her ear, “We're still in the coma, now get up! They're about to do that speech thing out in front of the chantry.”

“Is she still not getting up?” Morrigan asked as she walked up to them. “Perhaps a simple freeze spell...”

Atrina grumbled as she kicked the blanket off of her. “All right, all right,” she said before yawning as she stretched. “How long was I out?” she asked as she rubbed her eyes.

“Only an hour, but don't worry, we all got some rest too,” Wanda told her before Morrigan handed Atrina a bowl of soup.

“Here, eat for you will need your strength later,” Morrigan stated.

Atrina nodded her thanks as she took the bowl. Looking down at the food she frowned at the gray color.

“'Tis not I who cooked it,” Morrigan told her.

“I know it's bland, but at least it's food. So, eat up,” Wanda urged her.

Feeling her stomach growl Atrina gave up on being picky and ate the food. “...How many did we lose?” she asked as she finished.

“No one, surprisingly,” Morrigan answered as Atrina stood. They began to walk towards the front of the chantry. “How you managed that feat is a mystery.”

Atrina blinked in surprise. “Wait... really? No one died?”

“Nope!” Wanda said happily. “Almost everyone had injuries, but none life threatening. We did good!”

Atrina smiled brightly as a feeling of relief and wonder filled her. It was amazing and shocking that no one had died. At least one person normally died in her play throughs no matter how many times she went back and redid it.

“Where are the others?” she asked as she looked around and noticed she didn't see the rest of their group.

“Outside with Teagan and the revered mother, along with everyone who fought last night,” Wanda said before opening the door to the chantry.

The moment Atrina walked out, a loud cheer exploded, making her jump. She was led forward and found herself standing between Teagan and Alistair. She fidgeted as Teagan calmed down the crowd.

“Dawn arrives, my friends, and all of us remain. We are victorious!” The crowd cheered once more before settling down when Teagan spoke again. “And it is these good folk you see beside me that we have to thank for our lives today. Without their heroism, surely we would all have perished.” He turned to Atrina and bowed. “I bow to you, deary lady. The Maker smiled on us when He sent you here in our darkest hour. Allow me to offer you this,” Teagan said before presenting her with a helmet. “The helm of Ser Ferris the Red, my great-uncle and hero of Ferelden. He would approve passing it to one so worthy.”

Atrina blushed at the praise and the gift. “I couldn't--”

“Please,” Teagan said as he placed his hands over hers on the helm. “I insist, let all know what you have done for us.”

She stared at him for a moment, not feeling worthy of the honor, but she felt he wasn't going to take no for an answer. “...Thank you, Bann Teagan... I am honored.”

He smiled at her as he squeezed her hands before letting go. Before he could say anything further, the revered mother spoke. Everyone bowed their heads as she spoke a prayer for those who had been lost and for those that have survived this long.

Teagan stepped forward once more. “With the Maker's favor, the blow we delivered today is enough for me to enter the castle and seek out your arl. Be wary and watch for signs of renewed attack. We shall return with news as soon as we are able,” he said, causing the crowd to disperse. “Now,” he turned to Atrina and the others. “We've no time to waste. Meet me at the mill with a small group of your people. We can talk further there.”

When he was walking away Atrina turned to Alistair and Wanda, and put the helm on her head. “How do I look?” she asked jokingly as the helm fell over her eyes, proving to be far too big for her. _And heavy..._ she added silently as Wanda laughed at the sight.

Alistair chuckled as he took the helm off of her. “I don't think you'd get far with it.”

“No kidding! Atrina, dear, that helm was not meant for someone as petite as you.”

Atrina gave Wanda a look. “No, _really_?” she asked sarcastically. “I thought it was a _perfect_ fit!”

“Come, come, you need to get going,” Wynne said, ushering them off like school children.

“Hey, hey, hey! Give us a moment,” Alistair said quickly. He turned to Atrina and gave her back the helm.

“Uumm, I can't really use this...” she said softly.

Wynne rolled her eyes. “Here, I'll put it with our things for now.” Taking the helm Wynne took it into the chantry where most of their belongings were being kept.

“Right, well... who wants to storm the castle with me?” she asked as she looked at the others with a grin.

Alistair stepped forward like she knew he would. “You already know I'm coming,” he said with grin.

Wanda stepped forward. “Yeah, you're not leaving me behind.”

“I'll come with you,” Leliana said as she came forward.

Atrina nodded. “All right,” she said as Wynne stepped back out of the chantry. “Wynne, if you could help those here that are injured still. Sten, keep an eye out for any more attacks, use Grunt to help.” She turned to Morrigan, who raised a brow at her. “And... if you could help with any remedies, I'd appreciate it.”

Morrigan gave her an unreadable look before she nodded slowly. “I suppose there might be something useful to do here. But, here, I made some more potions, seeing as the fight is not fully over.” She handed Atrina some more vials of health potions.

Atrina smiled kindly and thanked her before turning to the others. “Let's get going.”

They trudged up the hill, with villagers stopping them ever few steps to thank them for the help. Atrina flushed when she realized most of the attention had been on her. “Why am I getting all the attention?” she asked with a slight frown.

“You're the leader, silly,” Wanda reminded her, causing her to sigh a little.

They finally made it up to the windmill. Teagan looked up at the castle and only glanced at them as they approached. “Odd how quiet the castle looks from here. You would think there was nobody inside at all...” he said softly before turning to them. “But I shouldn't delay things further. I had a plan... to enter the castle after the village was secure. There is a secret passage here, in the mill, accessible only to my family.”

“A passage?” Alistair spoke up, looking surprised by the information. “There's _actually_ a secret passage to the castle? I thought that was just a joke...”

Teagan smiled melancholy. “No, Alistair, it's real. You were never told because...” he trailed off.

 _Because he wasn't family... that's what he was going to say..._ Atrina thought, finding herself glaring a little.

“Well, I was _just_ a child when I was last here...” Alistair said as his expression mirrored Teagan's for a moment. “Anyways, why didn't you use it before?”

“I had no idea what lurked in the castle,” the Bann told them. “And I couldn't abandon the people of the village. What if--” He stopped short as his eyes widened. “Maker's breath!” he gasped before pushing past them.

They turned to see a woman with a guard running towards them. The woman ran into Teagan's arms. “Teagan! Thank the Maker you yet live!”

The Orelsian accent was strong and Atrina instantly realized who she was. Glancing at Alistair she saw him look at the woman with concern, but she didn't miss him tensing his jaw.

“Isolde!” Teagan pulled back and looked down at the woman. “You're alive! How did you...? What has happened!”

Isolde gripped his armor. “I do not have much time to explain! I slipped away from the castle as soon as I saw the battle was over, and I must return quickly,” she exclaimed before looking away from him. “And I... need you to return with me, Teagan. Alone.”

Atrina stepped up to Teagan's side. “I think we should all go... Whatever is happening I can't let you just go without backup.”

Isolde gasped as she looked at Atrina as if finally seeing her for the first time. Being up close to the arlessa, Atrina could see how tired and worn out she was. Atrina felt pity for her, but Isolde managed to change her look of surprise into one of disgust almost.

“What? I...” Isolde stepped back from Teagan and moved away from Atrina. “Who is this _woman_ , Teagan?”

Alistair quickly stepped up with a sigh. “You remember me, Lady Isolde, don't you?” he asked, but seemed to regret it immediately.

Isolde's face twisted more in disgust and annoyance at him. “Alistair? Of all the... why are _you_ here?”

Atrina openly glared at the woman now as she had said Alistair's name with such disdain. “We're the people who saved the village,” she said suddenly as she crossed her arms. “You're welcome, by the way.”

Teagan and Isolde looked at her in surprise. “I... Isolde, yes, they are Grey Wardens. I owe them my life,” Teagan said, regaining the arlessa's attention.

Her expression changed to one of distress. “Pardon me, Grey Warden, I... I would exchange pleasantries, but... considering the circumstances...”

“Please, Lady Isolde...” Alistair said. “We had no idea anyone was even alive within the castle. We must have some answers!”

“I know you need more of an explanation...” she said, turning to Teagan as if he had been the one to ask. Atrina felt her blood boil at Isolde purposely ignoring Alistair. “But I... don't know what is safe to tell.” She looked at him with pleading eyes. “Teagan, there is a terrible evil within the castle. The dead waken and hunt the living. The mage responsible was caught, but still it continues...” She went on to explain that the mage in question had been caught poisoning her husband and whatever evil was there was keeping her, Eamon, and Connor, their son, alive.

Atrina knew that the woman was holding back on what the evil was, but she was having trouble remembering exactly what it was. _I know it involves Connor... at least I remember that._

Isolde continuously insisted that only Teagan come back with her. “Please, Teagan, I know you could order your men to follow me when I return to the castle. I beg you not to, for Connor's sake!” she pleaded as she clung to him once more.

“It sounds like it might be a demon,” Wanda said suddenly, causing everyone to look at her. She blinked at all the shocked stares that were sent her way. “Well, that's the only thing that makes sense.”

“Oh, Maker's mercy! Could it truly be a demon?” Isolde started going into more hysterics as she turned back to Teagan. “I can't let it hurt my Connor! You must come back with me, Teagan! Please!” she sobbed into his breastplate as he held her.

“The king is dead,” Teagan said solemnly. “And we need my brother now more than ever. I will return to the castle with you, Isolde.”

Isolde looked up at him as a smile lit her face. “Oh, thank the Maker! Bless you, Teagan! Bless you!”

“Teagan...” Atrina began as she had a bad feeling creep inside of her.

He turned to her and looked at her for a moment before looking back at Isolde. “Give us a moment, please, Isolde. I will join you shortly.”

She nodded as she wiped her tears with the satin handkerchief she pulled from her bodice. Isolde let the guard lead her further from the group as Teagan came up to Atrina and took her hand.

“Teagan... I don't like this,” Atrina said as he pulled her aside to talk alone.

“I have no illusions that I will be able to fight this evil alone,” he said before placing a ring in her hand. “You, however, have proven to be quite formidable. Use my signet ring in the passage in the windmill, it will unlock the door that leads to the castle. When you get there, let Ser Perth and his knights in from the gates, they will be able to help you if there's any trouble.”

“Teagan...”

“When you get to the castle, if you have to, escape with Eamon. Me, Isolde, and everyone else in the castle, we're all expendable. Eamon is the priority.”

Atrina held tightly to the ring and kept hold of his hand for a moment. “You're all a priority. I will save everyone, I promise.”

Teagan stared at her in awe. “You are brave as well as beautiful...” he mumbled as he leaned closer to her. “The Maker smiled on me indeed, when He sent you to Redcliffe. If only this had been...” He glanced away from her with a troubled look.

Atrina blushed at his words. “Teagan, I--”

“But I can delay no longer. Allow me to bid you farewell...” he said before kissing her hands. “And good luck.” He boldly kissed her cheek before rushing off to Isolde's side.

Atrina remained standing there in shock for a moment. A giggle brought her out of her stupor before she glanced back at Wanda.

“Hehe, looks like someone's caught the Bann's eye,” she teased as she came up to her. “And I think someone's upset about that...” she whispered before gesturing to Alistair.

Atrina blinked as she turned to Alistair to see him glaring at Teagan's retreating figure. “No... no, he's... he's just upset about Teagan having to go alone... and about how Isolde was acting...”

“Uh-huh... you can't really believe that, can you?” Wanda raised a brow at her.

“Oh, he's jealous all right,” Leliana said as she joined their side. “He was like that in the chantry also when the Bann was flirting with you then.”

“That's why I was giggling in the chantry yesterday,” Wanda said, earning a surprised look from Atrina.

The elf shook her head. “No... _no_ , he's... he can't be,” she said, denying what they were saying.

“Are we going then?” Alistair asked as he stood by the windmill. “...What are you three giggling about?”

“Oh, _I'm_ not giggling and it's nothing,” Atrina answered quickly as she headed to the windmill. “Let's go save the arl and his family, shall we?”

 

They entered through the secret passage to the castle with Wanda leading the way. She used her staff to light up the tunnel.

“So, _this_ is what it looks like,” Wanda whispered to Atrina.

Atrina smiled before placing her finger to her lips, telling her to be quiet. Wanda rolled her eyes in response.

“We can talk after we're done here...”

“Fine, fine.”

“What're you two talking about?” Alistair asked from behind Atrina.

“Nothing, just talking about the secret tunnel,” she answered, smiling up at him.

“Yeah, and it's really cramped in here,” Wanda complained.

“It's not that...” Atrina started to say before realizing that the only reason she wasn't having a problem was because of her height. “Uh, never mind.”

“They should have made these taller!”

“Maybe they were meant for the elf servants?” Leliana suggested, having the same issues as Wanda.

“I don't think so, but they do need to upgrade, don't they...” Alistair said, frowning when he bumped his head lightly on the ceiling.

“I can't take it anymore. Move it or lose it, people!” Wanda said, hurrying along at a faster pace.

“Hey! Wait up!” Atrina had to run after her to catch up. “You're our light source!”

“I found the stairs!” Wanda called after opening a door.

Light shined through enough for them to see. Wanda was already up the stairs by the time they caught up.

Atrina huffed when she got to the top. “You know I hate it when you leave me behind.”

“I'm sorry, I didn't want to be stuck down there anymore,” Wanda said, pouting a little.

Atrina sighed in annoyance. She knew she wouldn't be annoyed for too much longer, so she didn't dwell on it. Watching all the humans around her stretch their backs, she decided to explore the small room they were in a little, before making them continue on.

“Hey, Artina?” Alistair walked over to her when she looked back at him.

“Hm? Yes?” she asked before he handed her a rose.

“Here, take a look at this,” he said, placing it in her hands. “Do you know what this is?”

Her eyebrows shot up when she looked at the rose knowing exactly where this was going. _Oh boy... here?_ Now _?_ _It's just like in the game, just without me accidentally selecting him..._ she thought before glancing up at him to see him waiting for an answer. “Um... your new weapon of choice?”

“Yes, that's right! Watch as I thrash our enemies with the mighty power of floral arrangements! Feel my thorns, darkspawn! Dah! I will overpower you with my rosy scent!” he said dramatically breathing in, causing her to laugh. When she stopped laughing he shrugged at her. “Or, you know, it could just be a _rose_ ,” he said, smiling softly. “I know that's pretty dull in comparison.”

“I don't know, sentiment can be a pretty potent weapon,” she said absentmindedly twirling the rose in her between her fingers, watching as the petals spun.

“Is it that easy to see right through me?” he asked, earning a smile in response. “I guess I shouldn't be surprised.”

“When did you get this?” she said already knowing, but wanting to hear it.

His gaze softened. “I picked it in Lothering. I remember thinking, 'How could something so beautiful exist in a place with so much despair and ugliness?'” he said, glancing away from her. “I probably should have left it alone, but I couldn't. The darkspawn would come and their taint would just destroy it. So I've had it ever since.”

“That's a sweet thought,” she said as she softly touched the petals. “Where in Lothering did you get it?”

“The chantry actually... It was one of the times that you were looking at the board to see what you could do to help...” he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck a little. “I thought I might...” he began, looking down at her, speaking softly. “Give it to _you_ , actually. In a lot of ways, I think the same thing when I look at you.”

Her heart skipped a little at his words, but she kept her blush at bay. Did he actually see her that way? Pushing the thought to the back of her mind, she smirked a little at him before responding with her favorite response from the game. “Feeling a little _thorny_ , aren't we?”

He chuckled suddenly as his cheeks turned pink. “Wow! 'She'll never see through that,' I told myself. Boy was I wrong.”

She giggled a little. “I'm just teasing.”

“Well, I guess it's a bit silly, isn't it?” he said, looking away from her. “I just thought... here I am doing all this _complaining,_ and you haven't exactly been having a good time of it yourself.”

Atrina sighed a little. “Alistair, I told you--”

“I _know_ , but it's not right...” he said, cutting her off as he looked at her once more. “You've had none of the _good_ experience of being a Grey Warden since your Joining, not a word of thanks or congratulations. It's all been death and fighting and tragedy.”

“Well, King Cailan congratulated me before the battle at Ostagar, actually.”

He narrowed his eyes a little. “Did he really?” he asked, frowning a little.

His expression made her feel confused. Was he upset? “Alistair?”

“Hm?” His eyes focused back on her before he shook his head a little. “Anyways, I thought maybe I could say something. Tell you what a rare and wonderful thing you are to find amidst all this... darkness.”

She blushed a little at his words, feeling herself grow shy. “Thank you, Alistair,” she said, smelling the rose, while hoping it helped hide her blush.

“I'm glad you like it,” he said, smiling brightly. “Now...” He took a step closer to her, causing her to look back up at him. “If we could move right on past this awkward, embarrassing stage and get right to the steamy bits,” he said successfully making her blush and look wide eyed. “I'd appreciate it.”

She could see the hint of the smirk on his lips when he saw her reaction. Not wanting to be one upped, she ignored her racing heart. “Sounds good,” she said, trying to hold back her smirk when she saw his eyes widen at her words. “Off with the armor then. I think the castle can wait 'til we've gotten this out of our systems. Wouldn't you agree?” She was actually surprised she got that out without stuttering.

Alistair laughed in both surprise and nervousness as his face turned red. “Bluff called! Damn! She saw right through me!”

She couldn't help her giggle. “I love it when you're bashful, it's adorable.”

He cleared his throat as he slowly started to back up. “I'll be...” He laughed nervously. “I'll be standing over there,” he said, pointing somewhere behind him. “Until the blushing stops. Just to be, uh, safe. You know how it is.”

She smirked at him. “Uh-huh. Consider this payback for on the way to Redcliffe, hm?”

“Ha-ha... you're _cruel_.”

She winked at him before walking away. Catching Wanda's eye, she saw the mage laugh when she spotted the rose in her hand. Leliana looked confused at what was so funny however.

Not knowing where else to put it, and not wanting to risk it betting crushed, Atrina placed the rose in her braid. Touching it softly, she didn't miss the look Alistair sent her way.

“What? I love roses,” she admitted, huffing a little as she avoided his eye a little. “I'm not just going to throw it away or stuff it in my pack.”

He brightened at her words, causing her to look away, not letting him see her blush at him being so happy. _Maker, why does he have to be so cute?_

“I think I can make that rose last longer if you want?” Wanda asked, coming up to her.

“Really?”

“Oh, yeah, I read it in a book while at the Circle. Now, hold still.” Wanda held her hand over the rose, mumbling a small incantation. Her palm glowed for a moment, before the rose glowed as well. “There! Just be sure to put it in some water when we make camp again.”

“Thanks,” Atrina said, smiling as she touched the flower once more.

“That was a nice gesture you did, Alistair,” Leliana said, sneaking over to the male.

“I guess.” He shrugged slightly. “I just,” he said before glancing back at Atrina. “Wanted to see her smile more, I suppose.”

“Aww, this is so romantic!”

“What?” he asked, looking back at the redhead.

“Don't you see? You're falling for her! It is so adorable!” Leliana gushed.

Alistair scoffed lightly as he tried to mentally will the blush away. “What? No! Noo-ooo, I just-- she's been through a lot.”

“Uh-huh, so you say that's the _only_ reason.”

“It is!”

“'After surviving the tragedy of Ostagar, the two young Wardens found comfort and strength in one another,' oh what a wonderful tale this shall be!”

“Guys? A little help would be nice!”

They turned to see Atrina and Wanda already in the next room and fighting the undead.

“Shit, right, sorry!” Alistair pulled out his sword and shield as he ran into the other room.

“'The elder Warden ran to her side at every turn, ready to defend her and to possibly give his life.'”

“Leliana!” he barked at her, causing her to giggle as she pulled out her bow.

“What is she going on about?” Atrina asked when Alistair joined her side.

“Oh, ha-ha, she's just being her usual weird bardy-self!” he told her, hitting an undead with his shield. “Let's just focus on getting further into the castle, shall we?” he said before an arrow whizzed by his head.

Turning, he watched as an undead fell to the ground, with the arrow sticking out of its mouth. It started moving again, but Alistair cut it down before it could get far. He turned back to Leliana, who was giving him a look that clearly said she could do to him like she did to the undead.

He gulped a little before their attentions were drawn to someone calling out from one of the cells.

“Hello? Is there someone out there? Who is it?”

“Wait...” Wanda said as she paused. “I know that voice...” She stalked over to the cell with Atrina following her. “Jowan?”

The mage inside took a step back in surprise when he saw Wanda. “By all that's holy... Wanda? I can't believe it... Maker's breath! How did _you_ get here? I never thought I'd see you again, of all people.”

Wanda put a hand to her forehead as she shook her head. “Yeah, well, I didn't think you would become a poisoner!”

Jowan winced. “I see you've spoken with the arlessa... For all I know the arl is already dead...”

“Obviously we've talked to her,” Atrina stated as she crossed her arms. “And he's not, at least not yet.”

“He's not? Oh that's a relief! I can't tell you how much--”

“Really? A relief?” Wanda cut him off as she glared at him.

“Yes,” Jowan said before looking desperate. “Please, I know how it seems. Poisoning the arl was... a terrible thing. But I'm not behind everything else happening here, I swear!”

Wanda crossed her arms as she rolled her eyes. “Didn't you _swear_ you weren't a blood mage too? How am I supposed to believe you?”

Jowan winced once more before sighing. “I know... but please, let me ask you a question. You can do whatever you feel need to do afterward, but I need to know... What became of Lily?”

“Lily?” Leliana asked softly, gaining a shrug from Atrina.

“I suspect someone from the Circle?” she whispered. _I know I've started a mage character before in the game... but I don't remember much about it now._

“They didn't hurt her, did they? The thought she might have paid for my crime...” Jowan continued, having not heard them.

Wanda sighed. “I don't know where they sent her.”

Jowan looked heartbroken. “Oh my poor Lily. She must hate me now, if she even lives. What have I done?” He buried his face in his hands as his body shook.

“Something incredibly stupid, that's what,” Wanda stated with a huff. “Why would you do something as dumb as poisoning an arl, Jowan? What were you thinking?”

He took a deep breath before looking back up at her. “I was instructed to by Teryn Loghain. I was told that Arl Eamon was a threat to Ferelden, that if I dealt with him Loghain would settle matters with the Circle. All I wanted was to be able to return.”

Wanda rolled her eyes. “Geez, Jowan, you should have realized that royalty has no say when it comes to the Circle. Only the Chantry, with the templars and the first enchanters, have any say over the Circle. And they would _never_ have to obey something like this.”

“I know I'm not a mage, but I doubt they would let you come back so easily because you're a blood mage,” Atrina added.

“Agreed, they would sooner kill you than allow you to return,” Alistair stated with a glare. “Why are we even still talking to him? Though it's a surprise he hasn't broken out with his blood magic.”

“That's a good point...”

Jowan hung his head. “Lady Isolde had her guards torture me when I told them I wasn't the one who summoned the demon... And I haven't used any blood magic since that day at the tower... Wanda, you have to believe me.”

Wanda placed her hands on her hips. “I don't know why I should. I may have been helping Irving back then, but at the same time you betrayed me too.”

“Why are you even here anyways?” Atrina said, bringing the subject back around.

Jowan sighed as he looked to Atrina. “Connor had started to show... signs. Lady Isolde was terrified the Circle of Magi would take him away for training.”

“Signs? Geez, she's even dumber than you are. Without proper training he's even more dangerous!” Wanda stated, shaking her head.

“Connor? A mage?” Alistair said in astonishment. “I can't believe it!”

“She sought an apostate, a mage outside the Circle, to teach her son in secret so he could learn to hide his talent. Her husband had no idea.”

“The servants all thought she was having an affair with you though,” Atrina blurted out, earning looks from everyone.

“Oh right, the blacksmith's daughter told him that, didn't she?” Alistair said as he thought back.

“What? Well, I guess there was bound to be some rumors...” Jowan said as he rubbed his forehead.

“How much magic does Connor know?” Wanda asked, bringing the subject back to the boy.

“Only a little, but I'm thinking he might have done something to tear open the Veil. With the Veil to the Fade torn, spirits and demons could infiltrate the castle. Powerful ones could kill and create those walking corpses. He's still very young, he can barely cast a minor spell-- never mind something more powerful. At least, not intentionally.”

Wanda put a hand to her chin. “Hmm... he must have been feeling emotional because of what happened with his father... That's the only thing I can think of.”

“That would make sense,” Jowan agreed before sighing. “This is all my fault, I've made a mess of everything... The arl's a decent man. I wondered how he could possibly be the threat Loghain said he was, but I did it anyway. I'm such a fool.”

“You've got that right,” Wanda stated, glaring at her former friend.

“I'm just sick of running away and hiding from what I've done. I'm going to try to fix it, any way I can. Wanda, we were friends once. I know I don't deserve to call you that, after what I did... if it ever meant anything, please... help me fix this.”

Wanda dropped her hands to her sides as she looked at Jowan with uncertainty. “Well... what do all of you think?”

“He wishes to redeem himself... doesn't everyone deserve that chance?” Leliana spoke up.

“I don't know...” Alistair said. “He is a blood mage, is it really wise? Still, this is a desperate time... He's your friend, however. You know him best.”

Wanda turned to Atrina. “Atrina?”

The elf shrugged. “I can't really say... it's up to you, Wanda. As Alistair said, you actually _know_ Jowan...”

“Give me a chance, please!” Jowan begged as he put his hands on the bars of the door.

Wanda sighed before turning back to the cell door. “And what would you do if I let you out? How would you fix all this?” she asked as she stepped closer to the door.

“I'd...” he hesitated before thinking about it. “Well, I'd try to save anyone still up there. There must be something I can do.”

“What about afterwards?” Atrina asked, causing him to look at her.

“Afterwards? I assume I'll be arrested. Or executed. Or... whatever people like me get,” he answered. “A part of me knew, right from the beginning, that I'd have to face the consequences one day. I knew I'd be caught, eventually. Everything I've done has just delayed the inevitable. I'm done with running and hiding. I need to account for what I've done.”

“That's good... if that's true,” Wanda said, crossing her arms again.

“I'm glad you think so... so what now?” Jowan asked.

Wanda held up two figures. “You have two options if I let you out. One is that you will come with us and fight with us, or you help as many people as you can without making things worse.” She looked at him sternly before dropping her hand. “The choice is yours.”

“I... I don't want to follow you into danger... I won't make things worse, I promise. I will find a way to fix this, somehow.”

Wanda took in a breath before letting it out through her nose. “All right, Jowan, we're letting you out,” she said before gesturing to Atrina to pick the lock.

After Atrina was done with the lock she opened the cell door. Jowan stepped out and nodded his head to Wanda. “Thank you... for this chance.”

“Don't waste it, Jowan, or I'm coming for you,” she stated as she looked away from him.

Without another word Jowan left them.

Atrina put a hand on Wanda's shoulder. “You okay?”

Wanda sighed before shaking her head. “Yeah, I'm okay. Let's get back to saving the castle.”

They ran through the halls, killing undead as they went. Atrina and Wanda worked on looting the corpses until Wanda got frustrated.

“Alistair, you're the man here,” she said after they killed more undead. “You loot the bodies!”

Alistair scoffed. “ _Me_? You two are the ones that want to loot the dead!”

Wanda put her hands on her hips as she scowled at him. “Weren't you telling Atrina that you're a gentleman? So _be_ a gentleman!”

He glared at her as Atrina sighed in annoyance. “Wanda,” she said in a warning tone as she moved Wanda away from Alistair.

“What? He did say that, right?” Wanda asked before pouting. “They're really gross, Atrina.”

“Yes, they are, but you can't make Alistair loot them,” she stated in a whisper.

Wanda grumbled. “He'd do it for you.”

Atrina rolled her eyes. “One, I doubt that, and two, I'm not the one telling him to do it.”

Wanda rolled her eyes with a scoff. “Pu-lease! He'd cross the very oceans for you if you asked.”

Atrina gave her a look. “No, he wouldn't.”

“Uh, _yeah_ , he would! Or at least he will be like that later on!”

“What are you two talking about?” Alistair asked, causing them to look at him. “Do we really even have _time_ for this?”

Atrine reached up to whisper in her ear. “Look, if this _is_ like the game, we can just come back later and loot things then.”

Wanda pouted before she nodded. “Yeah... I guess that's true...”

Atrina smiled at her. “This is more than about the bodies, isn't it? You're upset about Jowan.”

Wanda shook her head. “No, of course not.” She held her head high before slumping her shoulders. “Okay... maybe I am... but I blame these weird memories...” A sigh left her. “I keep thinking about us growing up in the Circle... It's... unsettling...”

Atrina gave her a hug that she returned. “I know, I've been having strange memories too... We just need to get through this, all right?”

Wanda took a deep breath. “Yeah... once we wake up it won't matter.”

Atrina resisted shaking her head. “Right... We ready to go now?”

Wanda huffed but nodded. “All right, let's go. I'm getting sick of the smell anyways.”

“Wait...” Leliana said, looking around. “Do you hear that?”

Everyone grew still and listened. Leliana crept softly to a door at the end of the hall, pulling out a dagger as she went. Opening the door, she started slow before she threw it open, ready to strike.

A scream left the closet and the others gathered around the door to see a blonde human woman cowering in the corner of the small closet. “Please! Don't hurt me!!”

“It's okay,” Atrina said, stepping up in front of Leliana. “You're safe now... Leliana?”

“Hm?” She looked at the dagger she still held menacingly. “Oh, right.” She quickly sheathed the dagger.

“I... I'm sorry,” the woman said as she uncurled from her ball. “I'm so frightened! These monsters are everywhere!”

Atrina knelt down in front of her. “It's all right, are you hurt?”

“N-no...” she said before taking a deep breath. “My... my name's Valena, the arlessa's maid. Is she... all right? What happened to everyone?”

“Last we saw her, she and Bann Teagan were together, hopefully safe,” Alistair said, gaining her attention. “But so far in the castle itself, we've only seen the creatures...”

“Do you know of anything, Valena?” Atrina asked gently.

“I... I only know about the tutor the arlessa hired for young Connor... and how they would talk in secret... Then... the guards arrested him for poisoning the arl! A-and the monsters started to appear! Maker, it was horrible!” She started sobbing into her hands and Atrina rubbed her back soothingly.

“Shh, I know...”

“Wait... Valena?” Wanda asked, causing them to look at her. “Isn't that the name of the blacksmith's daughter?”

Valena gasped and shot up to her feet. “You know my father? I want to go back to the village! Is there a way out of here?” she asked as she clung to Wanda's sleeve.

“Honey, calm down...” Wanda said slowly as she gently took Valena's hands off of her. “Take a deep breath.”

Valena whimpered a little before doing as she was told. Her body still shook but not as badly. “Please, if you know of a way.”

“There's a tunnel in the dungeon that will lead you back to the windmill,” Atrina told her as she stood.

Valena looked at her with wide eyes. “B-but the monsters...”

“We've killed most of them,” Leliana reassured her. “So it should be safe now.”

“Yes, just follow the trail of the corpses, you'll find your way quickly,” Alistair added, trying to be funny, but only ended up being lightly nudged by Atrina. “What?”

A new look of determination appeared on Valena's face. “I'll find my way. I can run fast and I know the castle. Thank you!” She ran out into the hall and down towards the dungeons.

“Well... at least we kept that promise,” Atrina said, smiling at the others before they left the closet.

They made their way out to the courtyard where they were quickly attacked by undead soldiers. Atrina activated her cloaking and quickly made her way to the gate.

Ser Perth banged on the gate. “Open up! We can help!”

Atrina pulled the lever on the wall and once the gate was high enough, the knights charged into the fray. The fight was over before Atrina could help.

Ser Perth waited for her at the top of the steps. “Shall we go in together? My men and I are eager to see our arl again. The main hall must be held if we are to regain control of the castle.”

“Agreed, let's go.” They pushed opened the doors and entered into the castle.

Laughter and clapping was heard as they entered into the main hall. Atrina gasped when she saw Teagan dancing around the middle of the room, doing flips and tricks. Isolde watched miserably from her spot by the fireplace, while a young boy clapped and laughed at Teagan's antics.

The boy looked to Atrina the moment he heard her gasp. While his eyes were blue, she could feel the evil radiating off of him. A cruel smirk appeared on his face as the group came closer. “So these are our visitors? The ones you told me about, Mother?” His voice sounded distorted and deep, very unlike a child's.

Isolde flinched. “Y-yes, Connor...”

“And this is the one who defeated my soldiers? The ones I sent to reclaim my village?” he asked as he looked at Atrina. His eyes didn't focus well on her, as if he was seeing through a fog. Alistair took a cautious step forward.

Isolde nodded. “Yes.”

“And now it's staring at me! What is it, Mother? I can't see it well enough.”

“This is an elf, Connor. You... you've seen elves, before. We have them in the castle...” she said weakly.

Connor suddenly looked excited. “Oh, I remember! I had their ears cut off and fed to the dogs! The dogs chewed for hours! Shall I send it to the kennels, Mother?”

Alistair fully moved in front of Atrina at the boy's words, his hand gripping the hilt of his sword, as he expected Connor to attack her suddenly. He felt a hand on his shoulder, causing him to glance behind him to see Atrina softly shaking her head.

Isolde turned to her son with her hands in front of her, pleading. “C-Connor, I beg you, don't hurt anyone!”

As if he had just woken up, Connor blinked his eyes and shook his head. “M-Mother?” He looked around the room with wide innocent eyes as his voice sounded like a normal boy's. “What... what's happening? Where am I?”

“Oh, thank the Maker!” Isolde fell to her knees and put her hands on Connor's cheeks, turning him to her. “Connor? Connor, can you hear me?”

He pushed away from her, suddenly looking angry. “Get away from me, fool woman!” he shouted as he stepped back from her as his voice grew deep once more. “You're beginning to _bore_ me,” he said with a sneer.

“Maker's breath! What has happened here?!” Ser Perth ask as he stepped forward.

Isolde stood and looked to Atrina before moving to stand in front of Connor. “Grey Warden... please don't hurt my son! He's not responsible for what he does!”

“What did you do to Teagan!” Atrina stepped forward only to be pulled back by Alistair when Teagan suddenly jumped down in front of her.

“Heeere I am!” the Bann said with a large and silly grin. “Heeere am I!” He laughed before he jumped back to Connor's side.

“I like him better this way,” Connor said with a wicked grin as Teagan sat on the floor at his feet. “No more yelling; now he amuses me!” He laughed evilly, causing Isolde to flinch once more.

“Connor didn't mean to do this!” Isolde said quickly. “It was that _mage_ , the one who poisoned Eamon-- he started all this! He summoned this demon! Connor was just trying to help his father!”

Wanda scoffed, making everyone's eyes fall on her. “Oh, _yeah_ , because sending Connor to the Circle would have been sooo much _worse_ than him being _possessed_!”

“You don't know anything!” Isolde shrieked.

“Enough!” Connor shouted, forcing the women to stop. “Father is alive, just as I wanted. Now it's _my_ turn to sit on the throne and send out armies to conquer the world! Nobody tells me what to do anymore!”

“Noobody tells him what to do! Noooobody! Ha-ha, ha-ha!” Teagan shouted with a laugh.

Connor suddenly kicked Teagan. “Quiet, Uncle,” he spat. “I warned you what would happen if you kept shouting, didn't I? Yes, I did,” he said before turning his eyes back to Atrina. “But let's keep things civil. This _elf_ will have the audience it seeks. Tell us, elf... what have you come here for?”

Atrina stepped forward with Alistair still keeping a hand on her arm. “To help.”

“To help me? To help Father? To help yourself? Which?”

Atrina glared as she took another step forward. “Everyone who is suffering because of you, _demon_!” She ignored Alistair's tug on her arm.

“I was just having fun! Everyone else had fun too! Are you having fun, Uncle?”

Teagan laughed. “Maaarmalade!”

“You see?” Connor asked with a laugh. “We're having _fun_! I think you're just trying to spoil things. What do you think, Mother? I think it's threatening me.”

“I... I don't think...”

“Of course you don't. Ever since you sent the knights away, you do nothing but deprive me of my fun. Frankly, it's getting _dull._ I crave excitement! And action! This elf spoiled my sport by saving that stupid village, and now she'll repay me!” he said as he summoned the guards to attack. “Kill the elf!”

Alistair pulled Atrina back behind him at Connor's words before pulling his sword out and grabbing his shield. “You'll have to go through _me_ first!”

Connor's eyes widened in surprise before he looked around confused as the guards ran towards Atrina and the others. Before the first blood shed, Connor ran off, ignoring his mother's cries.

Teagan jumped onto Atrina, pinning her to the ground. “Kill the elf! Kiiill!” He pulled his own sword out and raised it to stab her.

Atrina quickly stunned him the same moment Alistair bashed his shield into the Bann. Teagan rolled over, unconscious.

With the Bann safe from the fight, they focused on the guards around them. With the knights help they were able to quickly subdue the brainwashed guards.

Isolde ran to Teagan's side. “Teagan!” She gently touched his face as he started to awake. “Oh, Teagan, are you all right?”

He sat up with a groan and held his hand to his head as he winced. “Better now... I think,” he said as he moved to stand with Isolde's help. “My mind is my own again.”

“Blessed Andraste! I would never have forgiven myself had you died, not after I brought you here. What a fool I am! Please! Connor's not responsible for this! There must be some way we can save him!”

“I'm not about to kill a child...” Atrina said softly before another person stepped into the room.

“Connor is no longer a child,” Jowan said as he stepped forward. “He's... an abomination.”

Isolde turned almost violently when she heard him. “ _You_!” she shrieked as she pointed her finger at him. “You did this to Connor!”

Jowan shook his head as he came forward.“I _didn't_! I didn't summon any demon, I told you! Please, if you'll let me help...” Ser Perth and his knights surrounded him, causing Jowan to freeze.

Isolde “ _Help_?! You betrayed me! I brought you here to help my son and in return you _poisoned_ my husband!”

Teagan stepped forward and placed a hand on her shoulder. “This is the mage you spoke of? Didn't you say he was in the dungeon?”

“He was,” she said bitterly. “I assumed the creatures had killed him by now. He must have been set free.”

Atrina sighed. “And he wants to make things right, but, Lady Isolde, you are also responsible for thi--"

Isolde turned on her and got in her face. “How _dare_ you!” she screeched before pointing to Jowan accusingly. “If this man hadn't poisoned my husband, none of this would have--”

Wanda stepped in between her and Atrina. “And if _you_ had sent your son to the Circle like you were _supposed_ to, then you wouldn't have _needed_ to bring Jowan here, would you?”

Teagan placed his hand on Isolde's shoulder, gently pulling her away from the other women. “She has a point, Isolde,” he said, causing the noblewoman to look guilty.

“But I...”

“I know... what you think of me, my lady,” Jowan said as his voice was heavy with guilt and remorse. “I took advantage of your fear. I am sorry. I... never knew it would come to this.”

“Well, I shan't turn away his help. Not yet. And if Connor is truly an abomination--”

“He is not always the demon you saw!” Isolde said quickly. “Connor is still inside him, and sometimes he breaks through. Please, I just want to protect him!”

“Isn't that what started this? You hired the mage to teach Connor in secret... to protect him.”

“Look, it's done,” Atrina began, stopping the conversation. “It's over. Let's focus on how to _solve_ this, please.”

“I agree. Where is Connor now?” Alistair asked.

“I think he ran upstairs, to the family quarters,” Teagan answered before Isolde sighed.

“The fighting may have scared Connor into... coming out again, and so he ran,” she told them as she wrung her hands together. “Violence... scares him. I know that sounds strange. He may have run up to his room, or...”

“That's certainly what it seemed like...” Alistair commented. “He became terrified when I confronted him.”

“So you're saying he's vulnerable?” Teagan asked.

Isolde hesitated. “I... perhaps. Is there... no other way?”

“Let's not give into that option just yet,” Atrina said, causing Isolde to look at her with hope. “Is the arl in the family quarters then?” she asked curiously.

“Yes, I think the demon has been keeping him alive.”

Teagan looked like his heart almost stopped. “So... if we destroy the demon, then...?”

“Then my husband may perish, yes.”

“The demon in Connor _needs_ to be destroyed. Killing him is... the easiest way to do that, certainly...” Jowan said, causing everyone to turn back to him. “But there is another way. A mage could confront the demon in the Fade, without hurting Connor himself.”

“What do you mean?” Teagan asked. “Is the demon not within Connor?”

“Not physically. The demon approached Connor in the Fade while he dreamt, and controls him from there. We can use the connection between them to find the demon.”

Isolde walked towards him, looking hopeful. “You... can enter the Fade, then? And kill the demon without hurting my boy?”

Jowan slowly shook his head. “No, but I can enable another mage to do so. It normally requires lyrium and several mages, but I have... blood magic.”

“I'm not sacrificing anyone to blood magic,” Atrina said suddenly, causing everyone to look at her.

“If it can help, I think we should hear--” Teagan began only for Wanda to cut him off.

“It would require a sacrifice and we're not willing to do it,” she stated, crossing her arms.

Isolde stepped forward. “I am willing, please!”

Teagan gasped. “Isolde! Eamon would never--”

“ _No_ , it's _not_ happening,” Atrina stated before Isolde cried.

“But my little boy! Y-you can't! Please--”

“ _Listen_ to me before you start assuming!” Atrina shouted causing Isolde to pause as everyone looked at her in surprise. “We need to get to the _Circle_. We were there before we came to Redcliffe, they can help.”

“They have plenty of lyrium and mages,” Alistair added, looking optimistic. “We just need to be quick and get there.”

“It's just a day away from here,” Teagan stated, agreeing with the idea. “But do we have that kind of time?”

“Horses! Take some of the horses!” Isolde said quickly before calling one of the guards that was still alive. “Get Master Dennet and tell him to get horses ready for the Wardens!”

Atrina looked at Wanda in surprise at the idea of horses. That hadn't been a thing in the game. “Leliana, go back to the village and bring the others up here,” she said as she turned to the only companion that had remained silent. Leliana nodded while look cheerful about how they decided to solve the issue.

“I'll stay here and keep an eye on Connor with Jowan,” Wanda said as she moved over to stand by her former friend. “You two focus on getting Irving and the other mages over here. The templars have horses so it shouldn't be an issue with them getting here quickly.”

“It will be a little bit before the horses will be here...” Teagan told them as Leliana and the guard left the castle.

“We can meet them, I know the way,” Alistair said before motioning to Atrina. “Let's go,” he said before leading her out of the castle.

He walked straight to the stables with Atrina trying to keep up behind him. As they came up to the stables, the man she recognized as Dennet from Inquisition, brought out two horses. _He's a lot younger than he is in Inquisition,_ she thought not noticing Alistair had paused as they stood in front of the horses.

“Can you ride?” he asked as he looked at down at her.

Turning to him in surprise, she opened her mouth, but then realized that she only had lessons once when she was younger. At her hesitation, Alistair motioned to Dennet to put one of the horses back.

Atrina scoffed. “You're not leaving me here!” she exclaimed as she stomped her foot.

“Of course not,” Alistair said as he got on the horse. He reached his hand down to hers. “You're riding with me.”

She stared at his hand in shock before looking up at him. Knowing she didn't really have a choice, if she didn't want to be left behind, she took his hand. Letting him help pull her up onto the back of the horse, she made sure she was safely behind him before giving him the go ahead.

She held tightly to him as he urged the horse to start in a gallop. Glancing back behind her she watched as Redcliffe castle grew smaller the further away they became.

 

 


	11. Sloppy Canine Kisses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously on DAO: Restart...  
> Atrina and the others survived the battle of Redcliffe only to discover that young Connor Guerrin was the cause of the undead. Now Atrina and Alistair ride off towards the Tower of Magi to retrieve help from the first enchanter.  
> Conversations that normally would happen at camp suddenly happen at the castle, along with some new conversations with others that Atrina has no prior knowledge on what to say...  
> This shall be interesting.

 

 

* * *

 

 

It had been a long ride and the horse was tired after galloping almost nonstop. Atrina groaned as Alistair dismounted, her joints were tense and her back ached. Alistair chuckled softly before offering his arms to her.

Without a word she put her hands on his shoulders as he grabbed her waist. She swung her leg over and he helped her off the saddle. “Thanks.”

He nodded to her before giving the horse to a nearby templar. “We have business at the Circle and our horse needs rest.”

The templar nodded as he took the horse and led it to their stables. Atrina and Alistair then walked to the ferry to see Kester was back in charge.

“Hello, friends! Do you need to get across?”

“Yes, please, and as quickly as you can,” Atrina said as he helped her down into the ferry.

Alistair got in beside her as Kester untied his boat. He pushed off from the docks and they traveled across the lake to the tower.

Atrina looked across the lake and could barely make out Redcliffe castle. “We really got here quickly.”

Alistair hummed in agreement. “Hopefully we'll make it back in time...”

Atrina took his hand and gave it a squeeze. “We will,” she told him with confidence. There was no reason for Atrina to believe they wouldn't make it back in time. “The others will make sure of it.”

He nodded but still looked tense. “I pray you're right.”

They arrived at the Circle and the moment they stepped through the doors they were greeted by Irving.

“Ah, friends, welcome,” he said warmly. “I had not expected you back so soon, is there something you need?”

“Yes. First Enchanter, there's a boy that's being plagued by a demon,” Atrina said as she stepped forward.

“A demon? Hmm... then that would mean to kill the child, unless...”

“We don't think it's fully possessed him yet,” Alistair told him. “So we are hoping you can bring lyrium and mages to Redcliffe Castle.”

“Lyrium? Ah, I see, you're hoping to send a mage into the Fade?” he asked, earning nods. “Hm, it could work... I will send mages immediately. Redcliffe you said?” He then called for the knight-commander. “Greagoir, we will need a few templars as well, in case things take a turn for the worse.”

“I completely agree,” Greagoir said before calling some men over. “You will go with the first enchanter and be there only to kill the demon if it takes over the boy. If it doesn't, you'll need to bring the boy--”

“Wait!” Atrina made them turn to her in surprise. “The boy is already going to be traumatized... please let him remain with his family until we can wake the arl.”

Greagoir looked appalled by the idea, but after Irving commented that the templars can remain at the castle until the appropriate time, he agreed. “Very well, but if he causes anymore harm, my men have full permission to bring him to the Circle before the arl is awake.”

Atrina nodded. “That's fair, thank you.”

Irving set out to gather mages and lyrium to take with them to Redcliffe. “We will need to leave immediately.”

“Our horse is still resting in the stable,” Alistair informed Irving. “We rode straight here without stopping.”

“You are welcome to our horses or to ride with me in the carriage,” Irving said.

Atrina gave him a surprised look. “You have a carriage?”

“Yes, though it is only used when I personally have to travel. The things you're given when you're old.” He gave them a humorous smile. “I am sure Greagoir will make sure the horse is returned to you,” he said, making the knight-commander scoff lightly.

“He's actually not ours. He belongs to the arl,” Atrina explained.

“Then the horse shall be returned to Redcliffe,” Greagoir stated before ushering them to get going.

In the end Atrina and Alistair rode with Irving in the carriage. The ride there, Atrina dozed off twice, only to be awakened when the carriage rode over a rock. Having decided that sleeping was out of the question she spent the rest of the ride talking with Irving and Alistair. She asked a few questions about the Circle and about how the process for the ritual they would be performing worked. It was interesting to hear about it

They arrived in Redcliffe before nightfall. Isolde almost fainted when she saw the templars enter her home. Irving quickly reassured her that they were only there if things took a turn for the worse. “I give you my word that these men will not take your son to the Circle until after the arl is well.”

His words only gave her little comfort, but with Teagan's push, she accepted it. The arlessa gave the mages the space they needed to set up for the ritual.

Jowan had tried to stay in the shadows when he first saw the templars, but Wanda coaxed him out. Irving showed surprise at seeing him there, but didn't say a word.

“Has Connor come down?” Atrina asked.

Wanda shook her head. “No, we haven't heard anything from him.”

“It's been quiet, but we haven't risked sending anyone upstairs,” Teagan said, joining the conversation. “I am afraid if anyone goes up there, the demon might cause a final confrontation.”

“We definitely don't want that...” Alistair said before Irving announced they were ready.

Atrina turned to Wanda as the others moved over to the first enchanter. “Do you want to go into the Fade?”

Wanda shook her head. “No, I thought about it... I think it should be Wynne.”

“Lady Atrina?” Teagan called before Atrina and Wanda joined them.

“We can start the ritual anytime,” Irving told them.

“Any last minute advice?”

“The demon sounds like a spirit of greed and desire, one of the more powerful in the hierarchy. It will likely engage you in dialog and tempt you with an offer. Avoid it. Making deals with demons never turns out well.”

Atrina nodded. “All right... let's get started.”

“I'm glad we decided to take this route,” Alistair said, causing her to smile a little. “This is really the best option.”

“Very well,” Irving said as he looked at Atrina once more. “Who would you like to send into the Fade?”

“Well, I didn't get a chance to ask her, but if Wynne is willing...” she said as she looked at the mage.

Wynne nodded her head. “I would be honored.”

“Excellent choice.” Irving gave her a smile. “Let us get this ritual underway, then,” he said before leading Wynne to the center of the circle the mages had formed.

Everyone else stepped back as the mages began the ritual. Atrina looked around at the others before moving to a chair nearby. Letting out a sigh she sat down and watched the mages as Grunt came over to her. He licked her hand and panted happily at her, causing her to smile a little.

Glancing up she noticed Wanda coming towards her. “How long do you think it will take?” she asked her as Wanda sat down beside her in another chair.

“Well... I don't really know... When I did my Harrowing I woke up the next day...” Wanda said as she watched the ritual with interest. The mages started to chant and the lyrium around them began to glow.

Atrina nodded before feeling her eyes grow heavy. “I'm so exhausted...” She jumped a little when Grunt licked her hand once more.

“Join the club,” Wanda muttered before letting out a yawn. “I feel like I could sleep for weeks...”

Atrina rested her elbow on the armrest of the chair before placing her chin in her hand. “Same...” She watched with amusement as Grunt let out a big yawn before settling down at her feet.

Wanda dozed lightly as the others found ways to fill their time. Alistair had taken to the habit of pacing while Morrigan took to reading the black grimore Atrina had collected for her. The witch kept a watchful eye on the templars as she read, though they paid her little mind. Leliana worked on making more arrows for her quiver as Sten stood nearby, looking at the sword in his hand with disdain.

 _I really need to get him his sword soon... hopefully he'll open up to me to tell me about it..._ Atrina thought just before Alistair walked in front of her for, what felt like, the hundredth time. It was starting to make her irritated. “Alistair...”

He paused in his pacing to look at her. “Hm?” At her pointed look he grinned sheepishly. “Oh.” He sat down next to her and looked down at his hands. “Sorry...”

“We're all on edge...” she spoke in a whisper, hoping to not disturb the mages.

A sigh left him. “I know... I just hate sitting and waiting...” He copied her in whispering.

She gave him a soft smile. “Believe me, I understand...” _I'm mostly bored out of my mind, however,_ she added silently. “But Wynne is a senior enchanter from the Circle... if anyone can successfully stop the demon, it's her.”

He gave her a tired smile. “You have a point...” he said as Grunt stood up and moved over to him. Alistair gave him a weary look. “Um, hello...?”

Suddenly Grunt raised up on his back legs and placed his front paws on the human warden's knees. He then proceeded to lick Alistair, ignoring the protests.

Atrina jumped up and pulled Grunt off of him. “No jumping on people,” she scolded, earning a soft whine.

Alistair wiped the saliva off his face. “Yuck! Why did he even do that?”

Atrina giggled a little. “Maybe you looked too upset for his liking?” she guessed, earning a soft bark in response. “Aww, see? He wanted you to feel better.”

Alistair gave him a look. “Gee, thanks... I feel sooo much better,” he said with full sarcasm.

Grunt let out a huff as he sat down at Atrina's feet once more. “I think he feels you're ungrateful.”

Alistair gave her a deadpanned look. “What ever gave you that idea, I wonder.”

Atrina just smiled at him before sitting down on the ground next to his chair. Before she could say anything, Grunt plopped down into her lap and licked her affectionately. A giggle left her as she started petting his head, causing him to relax on her lap. Raising her head, Atrina looked up at Alistair to see him wearing an amused expression. “Would you mind if I leaned back on your chair?”

His eyes widened a little in surprise at the question. “Uh, no, not at all.”

She grinned at him before leaning back. Glancing at the templars that watched the mages with caution, she let a thought escape her lips. “To think... if you had become a templar, you might be one of these men here...”

Alistair hummed in response. “Maybe... and I'm happy not being one of them,” he said before glancing down at her. “I mean, if I was, then I would have to watch as a pretty girl rests next to the chair of another man, and I just wouldn't know what to do with myself.”

An unladylike snort left her before she lightly bumped his leg with her shoulder. “Oh, please,” she said with a roll of her eyes.

He just grinned to himself as he watched her pet Grunt and suddenly he didn't seem too anxious anymore.

 

Once Wynne returned from the Fade, Isolde ran upstairs to her son. Holding him tightly in her arms she cried as Connor asked what was wrong. It amazed Atrina that he didn't seem to remember, but she wondered if he would dream of it later.

Concerning Eamon, Teagan gave Irving permission to look over the arl, only to find he seemed to be in a comatose state. “Can he be revived with magic?” Isolde asked after she put Connor to bed. She refused to miss any discussion over her husband.

“No, my lady,” Irving told her.

“Then... is he lost to us?” Teagan asked as Isolde sat on the bed and smoothed out Eamon's hair.

“No, I refuse,” she said, looking back at them. “There's still the Urn--”

“Isolde, be reasonable...” Teagan said as he moved to her side. “We don't know if it truly exists.”

“It is the only way, Teagan, don't you see?” she said before locking eyes with Atrina, who had remained by the doorway. “The Warden can find it.”

All eyes turned to her and suddenly Atrina felt the sudden weight shift to her shoulders. She almost hesitated before reminding herself that finding the Urn was needed. “Of course, Lady Isolde. Do you have any information that we can use in finding it?”

“Yes. There is a scholar-- Brother Genitivi-- in Denerim. He has been researching the Urn's location for several years now. The knights that returned say that they were unable to find Genitivi, but perhaps the Maker will lead you to him.”

Atrina nodded. “That will be a good place to start.”

“Also, my husband's study is available to you,” she added. “Many of Genitivi's works are in there.”

“Thank you, my lady.”

“Now, there is the matter of the mage, Jowan,” Teagan stated. “His poisoning Eamon began this whole mess, yet he lives. I must decide what becomes of him. We will hold him for Eamon to decide his fate. If he doesn't recover, Jowan's fate is sealed. What do you think?”

Atrina tilted her head to the side as she looked at him with confusion. “Why are you asking my opinion?”

“Because you have helped us greatly.”

“Well, honestly... it's not really your decision to make...”

“What? But you saw--”

“Yes, I know what he has done,” she said, cutting him off. “But he is still a mage and therefore his fate should be decided by the Circle. I understand your reasons for wanting to be the one to pass judgment or having the arl pass it, but the ones better suited for this are the ones in the Circle.”

“I agree,” Irving said, speaking up after watching the exchange.

Teagan rubbed his eyes. “Regardless, it is my brother who has the final say... If you find the Urn-- _when_  you find it, and Eamon is restored to health, then we can fully discuss Jowan then. But we are going to keep him here, until that time comes.”

Irving didn't object. “However, if it is permitted, I would like to leave a few of my mages here to watch over the arl,” he said. “To keep him well before the Wardens return.”

“I--Thank you, First Enchanter,” Isolde said, bowing her head in thanks.

“I know this is a difficult time for you, my dear. When the war is over, your son will be joining me. I hope that this transfer is one of less pain.”

Isolde nodded stiffly. “Yes...”

Teagan sighed. “I must go to the hall and begin rebuilding,” he said, earning a nod from Isolde before he turned to Atrina. “I bid you to stay the night here, however, considering how tired you all must be.”

Feeling surprised by the offer she bowed her head. “Thank you, my lord, but we couldn't--”

“No, I agree with Teagan,” Isolde said as she stepped in front of Atrina. “Please, for saving my son and the village, stay and rest in warm beds.”

“I... I suppose, Lady Isolde... thank you.”

“The servants should all be returning, give them a few moments and then they shall show you to your rooms.”

Atrina nodded before walking out of the room. Making her way down the stairs she went into the main hall where the others were waiting. “So... we've been invited to stay the night here.”

Wanda gasped. “Really?” She jumped up from her chair in excitement. “Finally! A  _real_  bed again,” she said, causing a few of the others to chuckle. “What? I was  _not_  made for camping.”

Atrina smiled. “It might be nice to sleep in an actual bed again...”

Morrigan stuck up her nose. “With these templars about?  _No_  thank you... I will be staying in the tavern.”

“They're not going to touch you, Morrigan,” Atrina said, causing her to pause. “I won't let them.”

Morrigan stared at her for a long moment. “... You might not... but there are others here who might...” she said, casting a glance at Alistair, who rolled his eyes at her. “So, I think it's safer if I wait in the village.”

Atrina sighed, feeling too tired to argue. “All right... if you're sure. Anyone else?” she asked as she looked at the others.

No one else made a move to join Morrigan. Atrina gave her some coin to pay for the room before the servants came down to inform all who were remaining that their rooms were ready.

 

Atrina let out a whistle when she entered the room that was given to her. _It's the same room I'll get later on... how funny,_ she thought before taking off the sheaths that held her sword and dagger.

Setting them down in a chair, she walked around the room, taking it all in. The fire was roaring loudly, making the room warm and comforting. She looked at her large bed and was tempted to crawl into it immediately.

Shaking her head, she put her pack at the foot of the bed, before pulling out a tunic and a pair of pants. She stripped down before finding a basin already filled with water and a wash cloth for her. Quickly washing the blood and dirt off her body, she then changed into her fresh clothes.

Atrina let out a small yawn when she sat down at the vanity. The exhaustion from the nonstop fighting, along with being up for over twenty-four hours, was taking its toll.

She pulled her hair out from her braid and ran her fingers through her hair. Her fingers tugged on the tangles before she felt the rose Alistair gave her. Gently she pulled the flower out from her locks, letting out a huff of annoyance when it got stuck, before she looked it over.

There was dry blood on the petals of the rose, causing her to laugh a little. “Of course it gets blood on it as well...” she mumbled as she softly touched the petals.

 _I should get a vase of water..._ she thought as she stood, no longer caring about her messy hair.

Moving to the door she opened it only to jump in surprise. A bouquet of flowers filled her vision before an elf servant jumped back when he realized that the door was open,

“Ah! I'm sorry, my lady!” he stuttered, bowing quickly. The elf had a few healing cuts on his face and the tip of his left ear was missing. Her heart lurched a little at the sight. “These are for you.” He held the bouquet out to her, further away from her face.

Atrina blinked as she felt unsure how to respond. “Um... thank you?” _Why am I getting flowers?_

“They are from Bann Teagan, my lady, with thanks for saving Redcliffe, Lady Isolde, and Master Connor,” he told her.

Atrina felt herself blush a little. “Oh... they're lovely. Um, tell him thank you,” she said as she took the vase full of flowers.

“I will, Lady Atrina,” the servant said with a bow before turning to leave.

“Wait a moment.” Atrina quickly set the flowers by the door in the room before stepping fully out into the hall. “Could you get me a small vase with water, please? I'd like it for this rose,” she requested, holding up the rose. “I'd do it myself, but I don't know where anything is here.”

He bowed a little. “Yes, my lady.”

“Thank you,” she said happily.

He returned the smile before heading off.

Atrina leaned against the door frame, staring down at the rose with a soft gaze. Holding it up to her nose, she breathed in its scent, as a warm feeling came over her. She rested her head back against the door frame and closed her eyes as the image of the man who gave her the rose entered her mind.

It felt no time had passed when the servant returned. Atrina gratefully accepted the vase before slipping the rose into the water.

The rose glowed slightly from Wanda's lasting magic. Atrina smiled down at the rose before thanking the servant once more.

She moved back into the room and set the vase on the nightstand by the bed. A knock on the door caused her to come out of her thoughts. “Yes?” she asked as she moved to the door.

“It's me,” Alistair said from the other side of the door.

A smile lit her face before she opened the door. “Hey, what's up?” She mentally took note that he apparently had the same idea as her. He was wearing a fresh tunic and pants, though unlike her, he put his boots back on.

He returned the smile almost instantly. “Hey, can we talk?”

“Sure, come on in.” She opened the door more and stepped aside as he came into her room.

“I wanted to talk about what happened here,” he said as he turned to her. “And... about what all you did.”

 _Normally this conversation is at camp. I guess it's because we're staying here,_ Atrina thought as she left the door ajar before turning him. “All right, what are you thoughts on it?”

“Well... I wanted to thank you, actually... you went out of your way to save the arl's family and you did it, even though it would have been easier not to. You didn't have to save Connor or you could have gone the easy way and taken Isolde up on her willing to be sacrificed...”

“Blood magic terrifies me, honestly... You saw what it did at the Circle...” she said, glancing away for a moment. “And I can't stand the deaths of innocents. Connor is just a child and, even though his mother made a mistake, she showed me she cared about him when she made the offer... And I didn't want to take a mother away from a child or vice versa... eeeven though I don't particularly like her for how she treated you.” She shrugged a little as she looked back up at him.

Alistair shook his head in slight amusement. “You don't have to dislike her because of me--”

Atrina lifted her nose in the air with a slight huff, cutting him off. “It's not _just_ because of you, it's because of her as well. I mean, you haven't seen the woman in, what? Ten years, give or take, and she talks to you like--”

Alistair moved to the door and closed it suddenly. “You do remember we are in _her_ home, right?”

Atrina closed her mouth. “...Sorry...”

Alistair walked back over to her. “Though, don't get me wrong, I do appreciate you being ready to jump to my defense at a moments notice,” he said with a smile.

Atrina gave a mock bow. “But of course!” She grinned at him before looking serious once more. “Going back to the previous topic though, it's nice that we had the option to save them both.”

He nodded. “Agreed. It really was the right decision to go to the Circle first... I'd hate to imagine what might have happened if we had gone to Redcliffe first, then sought help with the Circle for Connor, only to discover it was...” he trailed off as he glanced away from her. “There's been so much death and destruction, it... well, it makes me feel good that at least we were able to save something, no matter how small. I owed the arl that much.”

She smiled as she placed a hand on his upper arm. She almost said the phrase the Warden in the game could use, but she felt it wasn't sincere enough for her. “I thought you'd feel that way.”

He placed a hand over hers. “You know, it's a little scary how well you can read me sometimes,” he said softly.

Atrina laughed a little, feeling her heart skip a beat at his touch. “Well... Um...” she glanced away from him as she felt herself suddenly become nervous. “...We stop the Blight we'll save a lot more.” The words had spilled out of her mouth when she couldn't think of anything else to say. _So much for originality..._

Alistair chuckled a little as he released her hand and she removed her hand from his arm. “You're right. Hopefully by that time there's still enough of Ferelden left to save,” he said, looking thoughtful for a moment. His expression changed before he spoke again. “Good. Now that the warm, fuzzy part of the day is over with we can get back to the ritual dismemberments. Oh, wait, it's not Tuesday, is it?”

She laughed a little. “That's a terrible thing to say!”

“Am I wrong?”

“Well, no, but that doesn't make it any less terrible.”

“But I made you laugh, so it wasn't too bad.”

Atrina rolled her eyes at his slightly smug look. “Anyways, I'm really grateful that Lady Isolde offered up the horses for us to get to the Circle quickly-- though we only used one.”

“Agreed, it's just too bad that we can't use them the rest of the time...”

“I wish!” Atrina agreed as she moved to sit down by the fireplace. “It'd make everything go by so much faster... but we're not equipped to take care of horses...”

“And they don't really have enough horses to spare at the moment regardless. What with the knights still all over Ferelden looking for the Urn,” Alistair added as he came and sat down beside her. “Besides, I don't think old Dennet would be happy with us for taking the few horses he has left all over Ferelden.”

“Probably not,” she said as she grabbed the poker for the fireplace to help stir the fire.

“Though, you wouldn't have been able to ride one solo anyways,” he said, earning a light slap on his chest.

“Ha-ha, I've ridden a horse by myself before,” she said with a huff.

He gave her a pointed look. “Yes, but obviously not long enough to gain confidence.”

She puckered her lips slightly in annoyance. “Anywaaays, not to get off topic,” she began, making Alistair chuckle. He stopped when she held up the poker as a warning. “ _But_ I'm actually surprised they gave me such a large room.”

Alistair continued to look at her with amusement. “Are you really? You did save Redcliffe after all, did you miss the big speech Teagan gave? They're calling you 'the Hero of Redcliffe' now.”

Atrina blushed a little at the title. “It wasn't just me, we all did. We all should be called that...”

He shrugged. “You're the leader, remember? The leader gets all the glory.”

“But I don't _want_ glory,” she said as she stood up. “...You sure you don't want to lead?” she asked suddenly as she turned at looked down at him.

“No thank you,” he said as he stood up. “I think you've got it covered.” He patted her shoulder as he smiled at her.

She groaned a little. “You're no help.”

He chuckled. “Right, well, I should let you get some sleep then.”

“Le sigh, fine, leave me to my misery of this large room...” she said dramatically as she moved over to the bed and fell back onto it. “I'll just be here, alooone...”

Alistair chuckled. “What, you want me to stay the night or something?” he said, causing her to raise her head in surprise. He blushed the moment he realized what he said. “Ah-haha... well...” He glanced around to find something to change the subject with. “Nice flowers! Who brought them?” he asked suddenly, moving over to the flowers by the door.

She put her hand to her mouth and giggled. “Oh, uh, they're from Teagan as a 'thank you'. I'm sure everyone else got some, though.”

He looked back at her as he shook his head. “Hm, no, no flowers for me.”

“Well, surely Wynne at least, because she was the one who went into the Fade and saved Connor.”

“Mm, I doubt that,” he said, looking skeptical.

Atrina groaned as she dropped back onto the bed. Alistair chuckled a little as he leaned against the door. Raising her head she glared at him. “Don't laugh, this isn't funny.”

“It kinda is. At least your reaction is, anyhow.” He looked almost giddy at her responses.

She rolled her eyes. “Goodnight, Alistair.”

“What? I thought you wanted me to stay,” he teased, stepping further into the room once more. “Weren't you complaining how you would be 'alooone'? That you would be in 'misery', hmm?”

“It's not that bad of misery.”

“Don't they say that misery loves company?” he asked, causing her to shake her head as she smiled.

“Are you wanting to stay? I can throw down a few pillows onto the ground by the fireplace for you. Maker knows this bed has more than enough.”

He waved off her offer as he opened the door. “Ha-ha, no, I think I'll stick with my comfy bed in my _own_ room, thanks,” he said before bidding her goodnight.

She giggled. “Goodnight.” She waved as he closed the door behind him. A contented sigh left her as she fell back onto the bed.

“Oh, Atrina,” Alistair said as he suddenly popped his head back into the room.

She sat up to look at him. “What is it?”

He grinned at her. “Your hair looks cute.”

She felt herself blush as her hand went to her hair. Pulling it to her vision she saw that it was almost a tangled mess, having been forgotten about when she had been distracted by the rose. Hearing Alistair chuckle she glared at him before throwing a pillow at his head.

It hit the door when he closed it quickly behind him. His chuckle turned into full laughter when the pillow hit the ground. She groaned in frustration before slipping off the bed and stalking to the pillow. Opening her door she spotted Alistair walking towards his room.

 _Convenient that he's right across from me..._ she thought before throwing the pillow at his unsuspecting head.

It hit his back instead, but at least it hit the target somewhere. He flinched in surprise as he turned to see her grinning at him. A chuckle left him. “Now, that wasn't very nice.”

“Neither was your comment,” she stated as she crossed her arms.

“Hey, all I said was--”

“I have a vase full of flowers,” she said, cutting him off. “It's _much_ closer to me than the bed full of pillows is--”

“All right, all right!” he said as he held up his hands in surrender. “I... _apologize._ ”

She beamed proudly. “Was that so hard?” she teased before giving him a little wave and then moving to shut her door.

“What? You don't want your pillow?” he asked as he held up the offending cushion.

“Nah, there's too many on the bed as it is.” She winked at him before shutting her door.

Alistair chuckled softly as he looked down at the pillow in his hands. “Well... at least it wasn't her belt this time...” he mumbled to himself as he entered his room, shutting the door behind him.

 

In the middle of the night Atrina heard scratching on the door. Remaining half asleep she walked to the door and opened it. Grunt trotted into the room and jumped on the bed. Without a word, Atrina climbed back into bed and fell back asleep with her war dog curled against her.

When she awoke the next morning, it wasn't because of nightmares of darkspawn or of events that didn't make sense to her. No, it was because Grunt bounced on the bed and proceeded to lick her face.

Atrina shrieked and sputtered as she sat up. “All right!” she cried as she pushed him off the bed. She yawned and stretched before slipping out of bed. “Geez, I don't know if you're worse or better than my old alarm clock.”

Grunt tilted his head at her before letting out a bark. Atrina quickly shushed him as she got dressed. “You don't want to wake the castle, do you?”

He huffed before trotting to the door. Rolling her eyes she slipped on her boots before opening the door. Following him down the stairs, she left him with the guard, who proceeded to open the door to the courtyard so Grunt could do his business.

Another yawn left her as she made her way through the castle. Feeling more awake than previously, she noticed none of her other comrades were awake yet. _Gives me time to look around in the study..._ she thought, smiling to herself. _I can get Alistair's mother's amulet!_

Humming a little tune she walked to the study. The door was open, so she walked in, only to discover that it wasn't as empty as she thought. “Oh, goodmorning, Bann Teagan.”

Teagan glanced up from the desk. “Hmm? Oh, Atrina.” He grinned brightly as he stood. “Goodmorning.”

She smiled back. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you. I'll just come ba--”

“No, please,” he said as he stepped back from the desk. “Isolde gave you permission to look in here for whatever you might need. I was just looking over what was needed to help rebuild what we lost.”

Atrina nodded as she moved over to the desk. “Thank you. I thought while the others were still asleep I could look around.”

He started moving some papers on the desk. “Then allow me to remove my things so you can work.”

She shook her head as she held up her hands. “Oh, no, no, it's all right.” She took a step back from the desk. “I can always come back when you're not busy in here.” Moving to take another step back, she was stopped by Teagan, who placed a hand on the small of her back. She tensed a little and felt shy as he gently guided her back to the desk.

“I insist. Your help with my brother is greatly important. If there is any information here that can help you, then you shall have it,” he said as he locked his eyes with hers. “There is no reason for you to have to delay.”

Cheeks heating up at the attention from the Bann, she wasn't sure how to respond or react. _Why is he looking at me like that? Why is my heart pounding like this? I mean, yes he's attractive, but--_

“My lord,” a soldier walked into the study and put a fist to his chest as he bowed.

Disappointment flashed in his blue eyes before Teagan turned his gaze to the soldier. His hand dropped from her back and she felt her heart start to return to normal speed. “Yes, what is it?” Teagan asked, turning serious.

“I'm sorry to disturb you, but you're needed at the front gates,” the soldier said, earning a nod from Teagan.

“Of course,” Teagan said before sighing as he turned back to Atrina. “Duty calls, my lady,” he said as he took her hand and kissed the back of it. He smiled at her shy expression. “I hope to see you before you go.”

“U-um, of course,” she stuttered before quickly adding, “Bann Teagan...”

He stood straight and placed his other hand on top of hers, keeping it trapped between his larger hands for a moment. “Just Teagan, please.”

“Right... Teagan...” She nodded a little before he dropped her hand, seeming satisfied with her response.

“'Til then.” He bowed his head to her before leaving the study. He paused in the doorway. “Oh, one more thing, if you feel you need to take anything with you, by all means, you're welcome to it.”

She nodded quickly. “Thank you, I-I'll be sure to return anything...”

He smiled at her before he turned and left.

The moment he was gone, Atrina let out the breath she hadn't realized she had been holding, as she sank down into the desk chair. Placing one hand on her cheek and the other over her heart, she felt the warmth on her skin and the hard pounding in her chest. “Holy... he's really charming...” she mumbled as she almost caught herself smiling and swooning a little.

Shaking her head she set a determined expression on her face. “Urn of Sacred Ashes... Alistair's mother's amulet...” she mumbled as she stood back up and set to work.

Finding a few things she felt she needed to look over longer, Atrina made a stack of things she decided to bring along. She had found the amulet in one of the drawers in the desk and had been ready to look it over when a servant stepped into the room.

“I was told by Bann Teagan to offer you assistance,” the servant said with a bow.

Atrina quickly put the amulet in the middle of the stack she had. “Actually I think I have everything I need, thank you,” she said as she stood up and gathered the few books and documents.

“Would you like any help, my lady?” he asked as she walked around the desk.

“Thank you, but I've got it,” she said giving him a smile before moving around him to leave the room. As she passed him she took note that he had been the same elf servant that had delivered the flowers from Teagan to her room last night. “Oh, if you see the Bann, please let him know I put his things to the side in a stack. Hopefully I didn't mess anything up. I tried to keep it organized.”

The servant bowed. “I will, my lady.”

“You don't have to call me that, you know,” Atrina told him, earning a surprised look from the man. “I may be a Grey Warden, but in all honesty, I'm not really considered a 'lady'. I'm from Denerim's Alienage.” _Though I'm not technically from there either... Wait, where_ am _I from?_ she thought with a small frown. She knew from earth, but she couldn't remember where on earth...

He seemed to relax a little at her words. “I know... but you saved us,” he stated, bringing her back to the present

She felt herself blush a little at the recognition. “It wasn't _just_ me...”

He chuckled softly. “I'm well aware, but really, how often do the shems let an elf hold a sword, much less make decisions that affect the arl's family?” he asked with a pointed look.

Atrina shifted a little, adjusting the papers in her arms. He was right, they had been giving her a lot more respect than someone of their race would normally ever be given among humans. Though she suspected it was mostly Teagan's doing in making sure she was respected. “What is your name?”

“Nelvel,” he answered as he started taking some of her burden from her. When she opened her mouth to protest he just smiled at her. “To your room, Lady Atrina?”

She pursed lips together in slight irritation but swallowed her protest. “Yes, thank you,” she said as she accepted his help

They walked together up the stairs to the second floor. “How do they treat you here, Nelvel-- If you don't mind my asking.”

He paused in his walking for a moment and she stopped beside him. “...Better than most places. At least before...” He winced at the memory as his hand went to his left ear.

“...I heard what happened...” she said softly, causing him to glance at her. “Are you the only...”

He shook his head. “No... others survived,” he told her before glancing away from her. “But quite a few of us... didn't make it... And I'd almost say they were the lucky ones...

“Some met a quick death, while others were tortured for amusement...” he said bitterly as he hung his head.

“How did you...”

Raising his head Nelvel looked up at the ceiling. “A few of us ran and hid the moment we had a chance... But not everyone was able to hide. I barely managed to get some of the women out before it turned worse...” He sneered and Atrina could see his body was starting to shake.

Tentatively she placed a hand on his shoulder. “You don't have to explain... You already have constant reminders of it. It was insensitive of me to ask you.”

He seemed to relax and gave her a grateful look. “No... I don't believe it was. You ask because you care, that's more than I can say for most of the shems here.”

She frowned a little as they began to walk again. When they came close to her room she turned back to him. “I know most of them don't look at us as if we're people... but I know some good ones.”

He looked at her a little startled and stared at her for a moment. “...You mean like that tall shem that pulled you away from Master Connor?”

She blinked. “Wait, you saw that?”

Nelvel shrugged. “I was hiding behind the tapestry... I had hoped to get more of servants out, but then you entered.” He gazed at her with admiration.

Feeling herself blush she glanced away from him. “Um... but yes, like Alistair,” she began, redirecting the conversation. “He's never looked down on me, and has seen me as an equal from the moment we met.”

The elf studied her for a moment before nodding. “It's astonishing that you are the leader while he isn't, however.”

Atrina shrugged. “Sometimes life turns out that way...” Clearing her throat she turned to her bedroom door and opened it. “Let's drop these off in here.”

“Yes, my lady.”

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally got Chapter Ten up! This feels like a big milestone for me!  
> *throws confetti*  
> Sorry it took so long, personal life got in the way of this and I was unsure partly on certain areas of the chapter. I hope it was enjoyable and I'll see you next time with Chapter Eleven! :D


	12. Travels Plans and Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Redcliffe castle is safe and it's time to figure out the next step. Go to Denerim or find the Dalish? Decisions, decisions. Atrina later has a nightmare and Alistair is happy to help her out.

* * *

 

Leaving Redcliffe had brought a sort of relief that Atrina hadn't realized she needed. Before they left, Teagan had made sure that they received gifts of armor and money from the vault. Isolde didn't protest and seemed more than happy to equip the group with new armor.

“And we didn't even have to sneak into the vault!” Wanda whispered with a grin to her. Atrina shushed her, earning a pout.

The black smith, Owen, had been so grateful to have his daughter back that he quickly gave Atrina a new set of armor and weapons. Now almost everyone had a chance to wear and use something stronger than previously.

But that also meant they had more things now than they really were able to travel with. When Bodhan appeared on the road outside of Redcliffe, Atrina almost jumped for joy at the sight of the dwarf. She had been more than happy to sell a few things after the others picked out what they wanted to keep.

In exchange for letting Bodhan and Sandal travel with them, the dwarf merchant gave them a discount on his wares, though Atrina was just happy to have someone she could easily pawn things off on. Though now they had more casual clothing options, which most everyone was pleased about, Atrina and Wanda were even able to purchase more journals.

But, now that they had a moment to rest, Atrina realized that she didn't have a real plan on how to proceed. The Circle and Redcliffe were easy to decide on seeing as they felt more critical to Atrina and Alistair, respectively.

Deciding she needed to discuss the plan with Alistair, she procured a full map of Ferelden and wrote a list of where they exactly needed to go. She presented to him that she needed his help in deciding the best course of action. He was more than willing to discuss it with her.

Which was what they were doing right at that moment. Wanda had joined them and, at first, Atrina was grateful to have her friend give her input...

Atrina looked down at the map of Ferelden that had been placed on crates provided by Bodhan. Next to the map was the list of places they needed to go.

“All right, so... we're here, just a couple of days outside of Redcliffe. We need to go to Denerim to find Genitivi and see if he knows anything about the Urn. But that's all the way over here,” she said, circling Denerim with her pencil that she had bought from Bodhan. No more quill and ink for her. “So that will take a few weeks to get there, in fact, longer than that... The Frostback Mountains, where the dwarves are, is all the way back here. But if we go there first that will take more time away from getting to Denerim... Though the Dalish might actually be on the _way_ to Denerim, so we could possibly be able to get their help before going to Genitivi...” She looked up at Alistair, who stood across from her. “What do you think?”

He looked down at the map and studied it before speaking. “Honestly? I think we should just go straight to Denerim, no detours. We can always try to find the Dalish later.”

“But the Dalish are known to move around, right? If they are in the Brecilian Forest, then we need to find them before they move on.”

“Do we really have the time to do that though? If we go to Denerim, we can find Genitivi and see if he's located the urn.”

“And if he hasn't, what then? Try to locate it for him?”

“Yes?” he offered, earning a look from her. He sighed as he scratched his neck. “Look, I don't know, all right? I'll follow you wherever you lead us, you know that.”

Atrina sighed. “Yes, but I want to know I am making the best decision for all of us... I need your opinion, it helps me.”

“Well, I gave it... and as I said, I'll follow you.”

“I agree with Alistair,” Wanda said as she gave Grunt attention. “About the 'follow you wherever you lead us' bit. You're the leader, Atrina, you get to make the decisions here.”

Atrina's shoulders slumped. “I knew you were going to say that... But do you actually have an opinion on where we should go first?”

“Well, I think Ozammar,” the mage said as she threw a stick for Grunt to chase. “I mean, you did say it's closer, right? I think the mages that Irving left in Redcliffe will be able to sustain Arl Eamon's life long enough for us to go all the places we need to go to.”

“But we can't expect them to keep doing that forever,” Atrina stated. “We need as many mages as we can for our fight against the Blight.”

“And we'll have them!” Wanda stated happily. “They're not going to die from keeping him alive.”

“Yes, but they will be too tired to fight.”

“True... well, you know our opinions,” Wanda stated with nothing else to add.

Atrina nodded before sighing a little. “Right... I'll think about it then...” she said before folding up the map.

“I've got something to ask you, actually,” Alistair said, stepping up to her. “When we're in Denerim, do you think there might be a chance--”

“We can meet up with your sister?” she asked without missing a beat. When he gave her a stunned look she realized she might have jumped ahead a little. _Oops, well, this is an easy fix at least..._

“H-how did you...?” he asked, seeming startled by the fact she knew what he was going to ask.

Atrina tried to stop the smile from coming onto her lips. “Um... remember the Fade when we were at the tower?”

He blinked at her before it dawned on him. “ _Oh_! You, you actually remember that?” he asked, chuckling nervously as he rubbed the back of his neck.

She let a small giggle slip. “Yes,” she said. “So, your sister, huh? Another secret child of the king?”

Alistair let out a laugh. “Ha! No, nothing like that. Remember how I mentioned my mother was a servant at Redcliffe castle? Turns out she had a daughter before me... I only found out after I joined the Grey Wardens when I did some digging. I don't think she knew about me, either. They kept my birth a secret, after all. She's the only real family I have left, the only family not also mixed up in the whole royal thing.”

“You were curious about the family you didn't know?”

His cheeks turned a little pink as he smiled sheepishly. “Um... yes.” He sighed. “I just... I've been thinking that... maybe it's time to see her. I would like to know what I've missed.”

She gave him an understanding look. “If we have time, I see no problem with meeting up with her. Will she know we're coming? Should I bring a gift?” she asked as she thought about meeting Goldanna. _I know it's going to go horribly... But I'm not going to stop him from meeting her,_ she thought before hearing him chuckle a little.

“No, no gift required... and no, I wouldn't know what to say in a letter... Think she'd mind us dropping in? How do you write someone saying, 'hello, dropping by for a visit, you don't know me, but we're family!' See, I don't think it'd work.”

She placed a hand on his shoulder. “I could always write the letter?” she offered.

He shook his head. “Thank you, but no, I... She needs to hear it from me, with my own words. Besides, it's probably for the best to tell her in person, right?”

She nodded. “You're right. No one wants to hear from a piece of paper that they have family. But we'll try to stop by when we're in Denerim, promise.”

“Could we? I'd appreciate that. If something happened to her and I never went to at least see her, I don't know if I could forgive myself.”

She gave his shoulder a squeeze. “You're so sweet,” she stated, loving how caring he was even to a woman he didn't know. _Goldanna doesn't deserve the adoration he already has for her._

He blushed a little as he smiled at her. “Well, you know... You've got to look out for family, right? Anyways, her name is Goldanna and I think she remarried but still lives just outside the Alienage. If we're in the area, then...”

Atrina's eyes went a little wide. “The Alienage? She lives near it?”

“Yes, at least I think so.”

A sudden feeling of homesickness and longing for her father and cousins in the Alienage came over her. “I... maybe we can see my family too...”

“Your-- oh! That's right!” he said as he lightly tapped his forehead with the palm of his hand. “You're from the Alienage in Denerim, yes, of course we can go there! I'd-I'd love to meet them!” He suddenly turned a deeper pink. “Th-that is... if you want me to meet them, I guess...”

She smiled brightly. “I'd love for you to meet them! I think I'll write them... I haven't had a chance so they haven't heard from me...” she said before sighing. “I wonder if they've heard what happened in Ostagar? They must think I'm dead...”

Alistair placed a hand on her shoulder, causing her to look up at him. “We'll go see them first, let them know the truth about what has happened and how you're okay.”

She smiled softly. “Thank you... I should still see about a letter soon... There's a town that isn't too far from us, so I should be able to give it to a messenger or a raven there.”

“And if we're lucky it will reach them before we do,” Alistair added as he lightly squeezed her shoulder. “If not, then we surprise them.”

Atrina laughed a little. “That'll be fun.”

He smiled at her for a moment before clearing his throat. “Well, I'll let you get to thinking about our next destination.”

“Hmm, right,” she said as she felt the weight of being leader return. “I'll let everyone know as soon as I decide.”

He nodded. “Sounds good,” he said before heading over to get the campfire ready for the evening.

Atrina raised her hand in a wave when he waved to her. A sigh left her as she lowered her hand. She unfolded the map once more as she walked over to the edge of the camp

She sat under a tree and looked over the map. “I feel like the best choice is staring right at me... but do we have time?” she mumbled as she looked at the Brecilian Forest on the map. _Only problem I really have is that I can't remember what exactly happens with the Dalish... Maybe I should ask Wanda if she remembers._

“I am surprised to see you out this far away from the others.” Atrina looked up to see Morrigan standing in front of her with a basket full of herbs on her arm. Morrigan was giving her a curious look before noticing the map in her lap. “Ah, deciding our next venture, I see.”

Atrina sighed as she leaned back against the tree. “Trying to at least... I'm having trouble figuring out who we should try to seek out next... Alistair says we should go to Denerim for Geneitvi, while Wanda thinks Ozammar is the best place to go because it's closer...”

Morrigan moved to stand beside her and glanced down at the map. “What are _your_ thoughts?”

Atrina glanced up at her before looking down at the map. “The Dalish are rumored to be in the Brecilian Forest, which is on the way to Denerim. Bodhan mentioned that they were still there when I talked to him earlier about what news was floating around. He's heard that they don't seem to be moving on yet.”

“Then the answer seems clear, does it not?” Morrigan stated, causing her to look back up at her. “If you are so determined to save the arl, going towards Denerim would be the wise choice. It would be a waste of time, however, to circle back to the Dalish, only to discover they have moved on.”

“See, that's what I said, but--”

Morrigan let out an annoyed sigh. “You are worrying too much about what the others are thinking. You are the _leader_ and if they decide they have problems with where you lead them, then they should leave.”

Atrina blinked at her words before thinking them over. “True... Which, begs the question, Morrigan...” She looked back up at the apostate. “Why have you remained? I know I haven't done things that you particularly like. I mean, I love having you here, don't get me wrong. You've been a great help and I'd like to think we are friends.”

Morrigan look turned into one of surprise. “I... well, we might have some disagreements... But I said I would help you, did I not?”

Atrina nodded before smiling. “True... I think going to the Dalish first is the best option.”

“Then lead us to the Dalish,” Morrigan said before stepping away from the tree. “I do have a request, however.”

Atrina stood up and dusted off her pants. “What is it?”

“I was wondering... I would like to join you when you travel to meet the Dalish,” Morrigan began, seeming a little hesitant. “I assume you will not be bringing everyone with you, seeing how distrustful they are of other races. I myself have always had a sort of... fascination with the ancient elves and was curious what could be learned from one of the clans.”

Atrina tilted her head to the side as she thought about it. “Hmm... you're right, I shouldn't bring everyone... And if you'd like to come along I'd be happy to have you.” She smiled as she folded up the map. “It will be awhile before we get to them though.”

Morrigan gave her a smile. “Thank you.”

“You're welcome. By the way, I had been meaning to ask you something.”

Morrigan's eyebrow slightly peaked. “Oh?”

“Could you teach me how to mix herbs and to use them?” Atrina asked, earning a slightly surprised look.

“You wish for me to teach you?”

Atrina nodded. “Yeah, I mean, you're the most skilled and I feel it's something I might need to know in case we're not one day traveling together for some odd reason.”

Morrigan gave her a peculiar look. “I... suppose I can teach you. You will need to help me gathering herbs, however.”

Atrina smiled widely. “I'd like that! I always hated you going alone to find them anyways-- I know, I know, you can take care of yourself, but I worry,” she said with a shrug. “It's what friends do.”

“I...” She looked a little uncertain by her words. “Well, we can get started today if you would like.”

The elf nodded eagerly. “That would be great! Thank you!”

“Follow me to my tent then.” Morrigan led the way to her corner of the camp.

“Oh! Let me get one of my journals,” Atrina said before rushing to her tent. “I'll meet you there!”

“Meet who where?” Alistair asked as Atrina passed him to get to her tent.

“Oh, Morrigan is going to teach me how to mix herbs!” she said with excitement. “Just getting my journal to take notes.”

He made a face. “You're actually going to let her teach you?”

Atrina rolled her eyes before going into her tent. She emerged with a fresh journal in her hand. “I'm the one who asked her, so yes.”

Alistair looked surprised before looking down a little. “Oh...”

Atrina tilted her head as she gave him a sympathetic smile. “I know you don't like her, but she's grown a lot since we first met her.”

He scoffed lightly as he tended back to the fire. “Sure she has.”

Atrina sighed before walking back to Morrigan. “Okay, I'm ready!” she said with a big smile.

Morrigan smiled in return. “Excellent, we shall start with the most basic...”

 

Atrina stared out into the lake, standing away from the camp. The events at Redcliffe consumed her thoughts. She closed her eyes at the image of Connor lying in a pool of his own blood, dead. Isolde's cries echoed in her mind, making her wince.

Taking a shaky breath she opened her eyes once more. Footsteps behind her grabbed her attention but she didn't turn.

“We need to talk,” Alistair's voice was cold as he stood a couple of feet from her.

She flinched slightly but didn't look at him. “What about?” she asked softly.

“About what happened at Redcliffe. You killed Connor. You killed him, a little boy. How could you do that?” he asked, stepping closer to her. When she didn't answer nor looked at him, he grabbed her shoulder, forcing her to face him. “Answer me! He was the arl's _son_! What do you think Eamon will say when we revive him? He didn't deserv--”

“I know!” she shouted at him as tears welled up in her eyes as she pulled away from him. “I'm sorry, okay! I didn't know what else to do!”

“We could have gone to the Circle! I don't know! They might've had something, _anything!”_

“Then why didn't you _suggest_ that?! Why did you leave _me_ to make the decision and be left holding the bag!”

Alistair froze at her words. “I...”

“Maybe if I hadn't killed that blood mage we could have had an idea on how to help him...” she said as she looked down at her hands. A sob escaped her before she covered her face with her hands. She would be haunted by the events at Redcliffe for the rest of her life.

Arms wrapped around her and pulled her into a comforting embrace. “You're right, I'm sorry--”

Atrina shook her head as she clung to Alistair's tunic. “ _No_ , I'm a horrible person--”

Alistair forced her to look up at him. “You're not a horrible person, Atrina. I should have realized how this was affecting you. I'm an ass. You did what you could... I didn't even think of the Circle until we were back at camp, so how could you have thought of it right then?”

Atrina stared up at him with wide eyes. “...I don't know how I'll be able to face Eamon when he wakes up...”

Alistair hugged her tightly. “You won't face him alone... We'll get through this.”

Atrina returned the hug and cried into his chest.

Eyes snapped open as Atrina sat up with a gasp before suddenly breathing heavily. Looking around, she realized she was in her tent, not by the lake with Alistair. She stumbled to get dressed before moving out of her tent.

Once outside she made a beeline to Alistair, who was just about to go into his tent for the night. He looked up in time to see her coming towards him. “Oh, awake already--”

Atrina grabbed his arm. “Tell me Connor is still alive!”

Alistair looked at her in confusion. “Um... sorry?”

“Connor, Eamon's son. _Please_ tell me I didn't kill him,” she said with wide eyes.

His confusion seemed to increase. “You didn't kill Connor, Atrina,” he said as he removed her hand from his arm. “What is this about? Are you all right?” Tears suddenly started falling from her eyes, causing Alistair to look at her with panic. “A-Atrina?”

“It was so real! I had a dream that I had killed Connor and you were upset with me,” she sobbed before feeling his arms wrap around her.

“Shhh, it's all right,” he said softly as held her. “It was just a dream. You didn't kill Connor, he's very much alive. We got the first enchanter and some of the mages to come and send Wynne into the Fade to save him, remember?”

“What's happened?” Wynne asked as she stepped out of her tent. “I was coming out to take my turn to keep watch when I heard crying and then my name.”

“She just had a nightmare is all, I've got it, Wynne,” Alistair told her before he pulled back from Atrina. “Come on, let's go for a walk. It'll help clear your head.”

Atrina sniffed before nodding. “Okay...” she whispered as she wiped the tears off her face.

Alistair kept his hand on her shoulder as he guided her towards the fire first. “Let me get a torch so we can see,” he said before quickly making a makeshift torch and lighting it with the fire. Atrina remained quiet as she stood beside him. He smiled at her when he was done. “All right, let's go.”

She nodded and stayed close to him as they walked. He took her out of camp and they continued in silence. Glancing at her he noticed that she was hugging herself as if she was cold. It wasn't a cold night, but she still held herself.

“...Cold?” he asked only to earn shake of her head, confirming what he thought. “Well... good.” He glanced around before looking back at her. _This honestly has to be the quietest we've ever gone... I don't like it,_ he thought with a frown.

They continued walking until they got to the lake. Atrina stopped and stared at the water as Alistair paused beside her. Without a word he stuck the torch into the ground before sitting down beside it. Atrina glanced at him in surprise before sitting down next to him.

“Sooo...” he began as he looked up at the night sky. “Do you... want to talk about it?”

Atrina hugged her legs as she placed her chin on her knees. “I don't know...” she said with a soft sigh.

He looked at her as he leaned back on his hands. “...Want to go for a swim?”

Her head snapped up as she looked at him with wide eyes. “What?”

At her expression he blushed and chuckled a little. “Well, we don't _have_ to. Just a thought.”

She blinked at him before smiling a little. “I've always wanted to go swimming in a lake in the middle of the night...”

He brightened at her words. “Hmm, you might just be in luck then,” he said as he leaned forward. “We've got a lake right here, and-- oh look! It's the middle of the night,” he said, pointing up at the sky, causing her to laugh. “There's a laugh! Was wondering where it went.”

She nudged him lightly with her shoulder. “Sorry, it decided to take a break without telling me,” she said, earning a small chuckle from him. “But, yeah, swimming sounds like fun...”

“Well, all right then,” he said before pulling off his tunic and boots. Atrina looked at him in shock as he stood up and started undoing his belt. He looked back down at her. “What?”

She shook her head as she could already feel herself blushing. _I forgot for a moment we don't have swimsuits or anything... good thing I'm wearing my darker colored bra... actually, it's a good thing I ended up sleeping in it,_ she thought before hearing a soft splash. Looking up she saw that Alistair was already in the water.

He grinned at her. “You coming?”

She smiled at him as she stood up. “Yeah, yeah. I'd tell you to keep your shirt on, buuut...” she teased as she slipped off her own tunic. The moment the article of clothing hit the ground, Atrina felt water hit her skin, causing her to gasp. “Alistair!”

He looked at her innocently when she glared at him. “What?” he asked as the only thing that gave him away was that he had to fight to keep the smile off his face.

She quickly slipped off the rest of her outer clothing before running into the water. Before he could get far, Atrina splashed water at him, soaking his head. He paused as his hair was flat against his forehead. Atrina laughed at the sight before Alistair moved closer to her and suddenly shook his head violently.

A shriek left her when he successfully splashed water on her. “Gah! You're like Grunt during his baths!”

“Oh really?” he asked with a peaked eyebrow. “Does Grunt do... _this_?” he asked as his hands were on her hips.

Her eyes went wide before she felt him start to lift her. “Alistair! Don't you _dare_ \--!” She let out a shriek as he lifted her almost over his head and flung her into the water.

Alistair laughed until he realized Atrina wasn't coming up. “All right, Atrina... very funny. Show yourself,” he called as he looked around to see any sign of her in the waters. Panic started to set in when she didn't reappear. Did he go to far? What if he threw her into the shallow part of the lake?

Before he could decide to dive in after her, he heard something behind him, before feeling an unexpected weight push on his back. He let out a shout when he went face first into the water.

When he emerged he coughed a little before noticing arms wrapped around his shoulders. He looked over his shoulder to see a grinning Atrina on his back.

She giggled up at him. “Boo.”

He chuckled a little. “You sneaky little...”

“Rogue,” she said proudly before releasing him.

He rolled his eyes. “Oh, ha-ha,” he said, causing her to laugh lightly.

She floated a little away from him. “You have to admit you deserved that for throwing me.”

He shrugged as he waded towards her, feeling relieved that she was all right. “At least I'm hearing you laugh again. So... worth it.”

She felt herself become shy as he got closer. “W-well, you know I always laugh at your jokes, so...”

“True, but wanted a little bit more, you know?” he said as he paused in front of her. “...You were pretty upset.”

Atrina tugged on a strand of wet hair. “It... was an upsetting dream...”

“You sure you don't want to tell me?” he asked with a concern tone. “It might help...”

She bit her lip as she glanced at him. “Well... I already told you...”

“Yes, in a state of panic, but you didn't really _explain_ it.”

Moving to float on her back she let out a sigh. “I... really don't want to think about it anymore...”

He waded next to her as she floated. “All right... I won't bring it up again.” He then started floating on his back, right beside her. “We'll just float with the current.”

Atrina smiled as she glanced at him before she grabbed his hand. At his surprise look she shrugged. “Don't want to get separated, right?” she asked as she turned to look at the night sky.

He stared at her for a moment before a small smile graced his lips. “Right...”

They continued floating for a few more minutes before Wynne appeared on the edge of the lake. The mage had dry cloths for each of them as she called them out. “Come now, before you two catch cold!”

Atrina pouted. “Awe, Wynne! We were having fun.”

Alistair laughed. “Well, we do need to get some sleep,” he told her as he gently started pulling her to the shore. He laughed again when he realized she was lazily letting him drag her, making no movements to help or resist.

Wynne looked at them with amusement. “You have been in there for long enough. Besides, Alistair still needs to get some sleep before the morning. He was the last on watch before me, you know,” she said as she pulled the torch out of the ground.

Atrina blinked at her words. “Wait...” she said softly as she turned to look at Alistair as he helped her stand up. “I kept you from going to sleep?”

“Hm? Oh, don't worry about it,” he stated as he took one of the dry cloths from Wynne and wrapped it around Artina's shoulders after getting her out of the water. He took the other for himself.

Her shoulders drooped. “I... I didn't realize.”

Alistair dried his hair before focusing on the rest of his body. “I said don't worry about it, didn't I?” He grinned at her. “I couldn't very well have left a lady to cry alone, especially when she came to me... what kind of gentleman do you take me for?”

Her eyes stung a little from tears that wanted to fall as it felt like her heart swelled up at his words. “I...” Taking a breath she stepped up to him as he worked on getting his pants on. “Thank you,” she said before kissing his cheek.

He froze on the spot, one foot through a pant leg, while the other remained in the air. It took him a full second to realize what just happened. His body heated up as he looked at her in surprise.

At seeing Atrina's cheeks pink and the look of adoration she was giving him, his heart picked up in speed. Feeling slightly light headed, he opened his mouth, but nothing came out. Wynne letting out a chuckle made his mouth snap shut.

“My dear, I think you broke him,” she stated before Alistair suddenly shook his head as he looked at the mage.

“N-no! I- I'm fi--” He moved to slip the leg still in midair into the pant leg, but missed. After bouncing on one leg for a moment he fell sideways onto the ground. “Ow!”

Atrina gasped as she started moving to his side. “Are you--”

“Fine! I'm perfectly fine!” He quickly got his leg into the pants before he bounced back up, making Atrina jump back a little. “See? I'm _great_!” he stated, laughing a little nervously.

Wynne gave him an amused look as she moved to turn Atrina back towards camp. “Of course you are, Alistair. Now, bed time-- both of you.”

Atrina's look of concern didn't drop as she looked back at him over her shoulder. “Are you sure you're okay?”

He nodded his head, possibly a little too enthusiastically, as he quickly put on his boots. “Yes, absolutely!” he said as he gathered up the rest of their clothes and her shoes.

They walked back to camp and paused outside of Atrina's tent. “Well, thanks again, Alistair,” she said with a bright smile.

Nodding again he returned the smile. “Right, of course.”

They stood there for a moment, staring at one another, as Wynne looked back and forth between them. “Alistair...” she said.

“Hmm?” he asked, looking at her as if he just realized she was there.

Wynne held back a sigh. “I think Atrina would like her clothes back.”

His brows rose high in surprise. “What? Oh! Uh--” He quickly started handing her everything in his arms.

Atrina accepted the pile without thinking about it. “Oh, um, thanks for carrying it.”

“Y-yeah, no problem,” he said rubbing the back of his head nervously.

Wynne rolled her eyes. “Goodnight.”

The couple jumped before looking at Wynne in surprise. “Oh, goodnight, Wynne.” Atrina smiled before letting out a yawn. “I think that swim helped, thanks again, Alistair.”

He nodded, almost feeling like his head was on a spring. “Yes, anytime.”

She giggled as she slipped into her tent. “'Night.”

“Right... goodnight...” Alistair raised his hand in a small wave as he saw her throw a smile over her shoulder.

When she was gone, it took him a moment to put his hand down. He glanced at Wynne, who just gave him a knowing look. “What?”

She shook her head lightly. “Nothing, just... go get some sleep.” She shooed him to his tent with a small chuckle.

Alistair entered his tent and sat down on his bedding, hardly noticing that his small clothes were still wet from the swim. His body felt like it was buzzing a little, almost as if he had just been sparring or fighting.

 _Sleep? Who can sleep?_ he thought as he stripped out of his wet clothes. As he laid back on the bedroll his hand lightly touched his cheek. He swore he could still feel her lips there. _Maker... I didn't realize how soft they were..._

He couldn't stop the goofy smile from coming on his face even if he wanted to. Placing a hand on his chest, he could still feel his heart pounding, even as he laid in the dark.

If asked, he couldn't pinpoint when he fell asleep, but he knew the last thing on his mind was every smile Atrina ever sent his way.

 

The next morning Alistair awoke and got dressed. He frowned when he couldn't find his tunic. “That's strange...” he mumbled before finding another one.

Sniffing the article of clothing, he deemed it clean before slipping it on. He stepped out of the tent with a stretch. After letting out a yawn he looked around at the others. “Hey, has anyone seen my tun...” he trailed off when Atrina walked out of her tent, rubbing her sleepy eyes. Mouth hanging open, he recognized the overly large tunic she was wearing.

Atrina wore a tired pout as the tunic started slipping off her shoulder. With a huff she pulled it back up. She waved in Alistair's direction, not noticing the dumfounded look he was giving her. “'Morning...”

“Uhh...”

“Atrina, um, that shirt's a little big for you,” Wanda said as she walked over to her.

“Hm?” Atrina turned her tired eyes to her before looking down at the tunic. “Oh... it was with my clothes... I put it on last night and fell asleep in it...” She stretched before turning to go back into her tent. “I'll go change--”

“Wait,” Alistair called suddenly, capturing their attention. When he realized they were looking at him in surprise he suddenly felt stumped on why he called out. “Uhh... well... never mind.” He cleared his throat before slipping back into his own tent, leaving them to look after him in confusion.

 _She's wearing my tunic... she's wearing my tunic! Maker, she_ slept _in it!_ he thought as he bit his thumbnail.

If his tent was big enough he probably would be pacing it. After a moment of thinking about it he realized that he must have given her his shirt the previous night.

A chuckle left him. He had been so enamored by the act of affection she showed him last night that he hadn't been paying attention to anything _but_ her. Even now he was finding himself distracted.

Mentally he shook himself. He was being ridiculous. They were Grey Wardens after all, and there was a Blight going on, so they couldn't just start a relationship.

But... then again, Alistair had heard of Wardens dating and possibly even getting married... So it couldn't be too far of a stretch if him and Atrina--

Again, he mentally shook himself. _What am I thinking? I don't even know if she actually_ sees _me that way..._

But all the signs were there, weren't they? At least, as far as he could tell they were. She showed him affection, listened to his doubts, even came to him crying about a bad dream...

_Though, that could just be what friends do... I've never courted before so I wouldn't actually know the signs... Maybe I should ask someone._

“Alistair?” Atrina's voice called from outside of the tent, causing him to pause in his planning. “You okay?”

“Yes,” he answered as he tried to ignore the sudden racing of his heart. He realized right then he liked hearing the way she said his name. “I'm fine.”

He could practically hear the smile in her voice. “Well, are you ever coming out then? I've got to let everyone know what we're doing.”

“Ah, right,” he said before taking a deep breath. He let it out just before stepping out of the tent. Atrina stood to the side and he greeted her with a smile and a bow. “At your service, my lady.”

She laughed a little like he knew she would, and that made his smile grow. “Come on, the others are waiting with breakfast.”

He followed her and took mental note that she was no longer wearing his tunic. Disappointment filled him a little, but he pushed it to the side. She still had it in her possession so he might get to see her in it again later.

 _Whoaa, let's try not to get ahead of ourselves here, Alistair..._ he thought, wanting to try and keep his thoughts about Atrina a little more pure at the moment. _She deserves that, right?_

Suddenly he remembered that he had practically seen her naked the previous night. Her body had been pressed against him...

 _Maker, my mind is working against me,_ he thought as his eyes wandered down to her hips. When he realized where he was looking, his eyes jumped back up to the back of her head. He forced himself to focus on the chattering of the others as they ate.

Atrina paused at the group before looking back at him. “I'll be right back,” she said, walking away from the group.

Alistair sat down on the log that had been placed by the once roaring campfire. He hardly paid attention to the chatter between Wanda, Leliana, and Wynne as he forced himself not to stupidly watch Atrina. As his mind raced he focused on the dying embers in the fire pit. It was good distraction before a plate of food was held out in front of him.

Atrina smiled down at him when he looked at her. “Thought I'd grab breakfast for you.”

Taking the plate he smiled gratefully at her. “Uh, thank you.” He was about to start digging in when he noticed her watching him with slight worry. “What?”

“Are you sure you're okay?”

He lowered the plate before glancing back at her. _Just distracted by you this morning, no worries!_ “Uh... yeah, just tired, I suppose.”

That had apparently been the wrong thing to say because now her expression turned to one of guilt. “It's my fault for keeping you up so late with swimming...” she said softly as she plopped down beside him on the bench.

“What? No-oo,” he said quickly, causing her to look back up at him. “I had fun last night, I don't regret it!”

She looked at him with large eyes. “Really?”

Setting his plate down he turned to her and placed his hands on her shoulders. “Yes, of course I did! I told you last night to not worry about it, because I'm not, so why should you be?”

She glanced away from him. “I don't want to be an inconvenience...”

He let out a soft sigh. “Now you're starting to sound like me.” At his words she looked back up at him in surprise to see him smiling at her. “You're not an inconvenience, Atrina. Come to me with anything, all right? If I can't make you laugh, then I'll just be there for you.”

The look she gave him made his heart swell up. Before she was even hugging him he was blushing. His blush deepened when she tightened her arms around his neck. “You're the sweetest man in the whole world,” she whispered in his ear, unknowingly sending a small shiver through him.

His arms tentatively went around her waist. “Well, I wouldn't say the _whole_ world... it's a pretty large place. Even Thedas is a little too big to say that...”

She hummed lightly as she pulled away from him. “Fine, _all_ of Ferelden.” She poked his chest. “And don't argue with me on that one.”

He chuckled. “I guess I'll accept that.”

“Ugh, _please_ end this before I lose my meal...” Morrigan stated as she joined the group.

Alistair narrowed his eyes at her before pulling Atrina even closer to him, causing the elf to blush. “Go ahead, won't bother me in the least,” he said, smirking at the witch. He was quite pleased with the sneer she gave him.

Atrina laughed before shoving him lightly off of her. “Okay, that's enough,” she said as she stood up. “Now, _eat._ ”

Alistair picked up his plate, ignoring the letdown he started to feel when she left his side. “And here I was, hoping for a show with my meal,” he said as Morrigan was already opening her mouth with a comeback.

“ _Anyways_ ,” Atrina said loudly, causing any fight that they were about to get into to stop in its tracks. “Now that we're all here, I can tell you where we're going.”

When she explained that they would be going to try to find the Dalish Alistair re-voiced the concerns he shared with her the previous day. Atrina just smiled at him, as if she knew he was going to bring that up.

 _Of course she knows... she almost always figures out a solution,_ he thought fondly.

“I'm thinking we'll split up into two groups,” Atrina explained as she held up two fingers. “One will go to the Dalish while the other will go to Denerim. Seeing as we have time before getting there, I'll be able to think about who benefits going to which. And then, we meet up outside of Denerim, hopefully with both the Urn for the arl and the Dalish for the Blight.” As she spoke Alistair noticed she talked with her hands.

_Has she always done that? Or did I just not notice?_

“Oooh, that will cut our time down greatly!” Wanda said, liking the plan and bringing Alistair out of his thoughts. “Great job!”

Atrina blushed at the compliment as she smiled proudly. “Thanks... so, finish up breakfast and then we break camp to get started. It's going to take a few weeks, give or take, to get where we're headed.” She grinned at them. “So, best to get a move on, right?”

Everyone agreed with no real complaints for the plan. Atrina smiled happily as she sat back down next to Alistair on the log. Grunt joined her side and leaned against her as she petted him.

Alistair watched with his own smile. “I see you're feeling better.”

She glanced up at him. “Hm? Oh! Yes, much better. I think that swim really helped,” she said as she turned her bright smile towards him. “Thanks again for that... Ugh, I must sound silly repeating myself, huh?”

“Not at all,” he said as he set his plate down. “Though, you've already claimed I'm the sweetest man in all of Ferelden today, so I'm not sure how much bigger my head can get at this point-- and it's barely morning!”

Atrina let out a laugh that sent her head back. “Wow! What a wonderful way to put that I'm thanking you too much.”

“Did I say that? I don't think I said that.”

Atrina shook her head in amusement. “Goof...” she mumbled as her smile grew.

He just smiled in return, feeling content in that moment with her.

 


	13. Crows and Men

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wanda finally gets her wish to meet Zevran and Atrina slowly starts to realize how deep she is getting...

* * *

 

 

“Atrinaaa, when are we going to meet Zevran?” Wanda whispered with a pout.

“Probably not too long now,” Atrina answered. It was only the second day of traveling and, so far, things had gone smoothly.

But then again, it was only the second day of traveling.

“...You're not going to kill him, right?” Wanda asked suddenly.

Atrina looked at her in astonishment. “Are you really asking me that?”

“I just want to make sure!”

Atrina rolled her eyes. “Seriously? Who do you think I am? Of _course_ I'm not going to kill him, it's _Zevran_ we're talking about!”

“Yeah, I know...” Wanda continued to pout as she fiddled with her stave. “But... what if someone else gets to him before us? Like Alistair or Sten?”

Atrina placed her hand to her chin as she thought about it. “Hmm... looks like we need a plan then...” she said before snapping her fingers. “You can paralyze right?” she asked, receiving a nod. “All right, try to paralyze him right when the battle starts and I'll use my cloaking to get behind him and knock him out?”

“Ooh! I like that idea! Just don't go for the face.”

“Pfft, no one wants that pretty face hurt. I will have to wound him some though, just so it doesn't seem to the others we're trying to keep him alive...”

Wanda pouted a little once more. “Fiiine... just nothing too bad, okay?”

“Wynne can heal him, but yeah, nothing too bad.”

Wanda grinned brightly. “Yay! I'll get my Zevy!” she cheered, causing Atrina to laugh.

“What's gotten her so excited?” Alistair asked when he turned back to look at them.

“Oh that's just Wanda,” Wynne answered with an amused tone before Atrina or Wanda could come up with something.

Leliana smiled. “It must be exciting to be out of the Circle after living there for most of your life.”

“Oh yeah, besides Ostagar, this is my first real time outside of the Circle,” Wanda said as Leliana joined her side.

“Bravo, you're no longer trapped in a giant phallus,” Morrigan said with disdain.

Wanda laughed. “Does it really look like one?” Everyone but Wynne nodded causing Wanda to laugh more. “Oh wow, that's hilarious!”

A woman came running up to the group while looking distressed. “Oh, thank the Maker! We need help! They attacked the wagon,” the woman said with urgency. “Please help us!”

Atrina and Wanda shared looks of surprise. Could they be that lucky to meet Zevran just after they came up with a plan to keep him alive?

“Follow me! I'll take you to them!” the woman said before turning and running back the other way.

Morrigan groaned. “Are we carrying a sign that reads, 'will help any pathetic soul'?”

“Well, they're just ahead of us anyways,” Atrina offered. “We'll face them no matter what, if that makes you feel better.”

The mage sniffed a little as she raised her chin. “I suppose I can take my frustrations out on the idiot bandits...”

Atrina smiled a little before turning back to see Bodhan and Sandal behind them with their wagon. “I think it's best if you stay back for now,” she told him. “Most likely a fight will break out.”

“Of course, Warden. My boy and I will move off the road for now and keep an eye out. Best of luck to you.” He gave them a wave before guiding the cart off the road.

They followed after the woman with Wanda almost skipping the whole way. Atrina had to keep from laughing at seeing her friend so excited. She had a feeling that Wanda was mentally singing about finally meeting Zevran.

As they came to the wagons the woman ran up to an elf. Wanda tugged on Atrina's arm while whispering excitedly. “It's him! He's more handsome in person!”

She quickly shushed her as Zevran looked at them with a smirk. “Um... I think we're in trouble...”

He gave a signal and a noise caught their attention. Looking up Atrina's eyes widened as a tree started coming down towards them.

Before she could do anything she felt hard tugs on both of her arms. Both Wanda and Alistair pulled her out of the way of the falling tree.

“The Grey Wardens die here!” Zevran shouted as he pulled out his Crow daggers.

They were quickly surrounded before everyone pulled out their weapons. Atrina quickly cloaked as Wanda paralyzed Zevran. Running as fast as she could, while sneaking past the assassins, Atrina finally made it to Zevran just before the spell wore off.

“Shit,” she mumbled as her cloak disappeared. Zevran's eyes landed on her and looked at her with surprise. Atrina smirked at him. “Right, no hard feelings,” she said before slashing at him.

He quickly blocked her blade with his own. “So, you are a rogue? Had not been aware,” he said before slashing at her.

She jumped back from the attack. “Oh? Yet you know who I am.”

“Was only told that the Grey Wardens were a blonde human male and an elven woman, nothing more.” He lunged at her, managing to slice her arm.

A cry of pain left her before Zevran knocked Atrina to the ground. Her weapons landed beside her, before she could grab them, the assassin kicked them out of reach.

“Shit,” she mumbled as she scooted back. Risking a quick glance, she saw the others were still fighting, leaving her alone to deal with him.

Zevran chuckled almost coldly. “My, you've been a challenge, like I suspected you to be. You are a Gray Warden, after all.” He grinned as he stalked forward to her. “But, alas, you lack training to stand against--” He stopped mid-sentence as he was suddenly frozen in place.

“Not so fast!” Wanda shouted as she stalked over to them.

Atrina glanced at the ground and saw the glyph of paralysis. She let out a breath as Wanda joined her side, her stave remained pointed at the male.

“Nobody tries to kill my best friend,” Wanda stated as Zevran's eyes stared at her in surprise. “No matter how cute and devilishly handsome they are!”

Normally Atrina would have laughed at that kind of line, but having been almost killed made it seem less humorous to her. “Good timing...” she commented in thanks as she moved to stand.

Wanda then motioned her back, causing her to looked at her in confusion. Atrina watched as the mage raised a hand to her temple before it clicked in the elf's mind. Immediately she backed away just before a pulse left Wanda.

Zevran got the brunt of the pulse. The glyph around him faded and he fell back to the ground, unconscious.

“Mind blast,” Wanda said as she turned to Atrina with a grin.

“Are you all right?” Alistair ran up to Atrina as she picked up her sword and dagger.

She let out a breath. “Yeah,” she said as she wiped the blood off her dagger. “I'm fi--”

“Why did you go--” he began as he stepped closer to her, but a groan caught his attention, making him stop short. Everyone turned their attention to the knocked out assassin. “Wait, he's still alive?”

“Tie him up,” Atrina instructed. “He might have some information.

Alistair looked annoyed but did as he was ordered. When he was finished he moved to Atrina and noticed the slash on her arm. “Wynne, can you heal her?”

Atrina brushed him off. “No, I'm okay. We can do a group heal later.”

He gave her a look, clearly not liking she was waiting to be healed, but she sent him a look back. “Atrina... what if it's poisoned?”

She hadn't thought of that. As far as she could remember from the game Zevran never tried to poison the Warden as they fought.

“No, the blade is clean,” Leliana spoke up, causing everyone to turn to her. She was studying Zevran's daggers. “He had not bothered to poison his weapons before the ambush.”

Alistair relaxed a little, but still looked to be on edge. “Still, you shouldn't...” he trailed off before shaking his head.

Atrina looked at him in confusion. “What?”

“No, never mind...” he said softly before hearing Zevran groan once more.

Atrina glanced at Wanda and could see her trying to resist either bouncing in excitement or going to Zevran to check on him. Her attention turned back to Zevran as he started coming to.

“Mmm... what?” The elf shook his head before craning his head up to look at them. Another groan left him as he looked at them in surprise. “I rather thought I would wake up dead. Or not wake up at all, as the case may be. But I see you haven't killed me yet.”

“Questions first,” Atrina stated as she crossed her arms over her chest as she avoided touching the cut on her arm.

“Ah! So I'm to be interrogated? Let me save you some time. My name is Zevran. Zev to my friends. I am a member of the Antivan Crows, brought here for the purpose of slaying any surviving Grey Wardens. Which I have failed at, sadly.”

“Honestly, I'm down right glad you failed.”

“So would I be, in your shoes. For me, however, it sets a rather poor precedent, doesn't it? Getting captured by a target seems a tad detrimental to one's budding assassin career,” Zevran said before Wanda let out a giggle.

Everyone turned to her in surprise, well, all except Atrina, who was trying not to look amused at the situation. Wanda looked at them with a huff. “What? It was funny.”

“And here I thought you were the one that laughed at inappropriate moments,” Alistair commented as he looked down at Atrina.

Atrina raised her nose in the air. “Give me a little more credit... I don't giggle in front of prisoners.”

He rolled his eyes. “Riiight.”

“You know,” Zevran spoke up, causing everyone to turn back to him. “This is a most unusual way to question someone, yes?”

“We're unusual people,” Atrina stated with a shrug. “So, Antivan Crows?”

“I can tell you what they are,” Leliana stated. “They are an order of assassins out of Antiva. Very powerful, and renowned for always getting the job done... so to speak. Someone went to great expense to hire this man.”

“Quite right,” Zevran nodded. “I'm surprised you haven't heard much of the Crows out here. Back where I come from, we're rather infamous.”

Alistair scoffed lightly. “Not for being good assassins, it seems.”

“Oh, fine. Is that what you Fereldans do? Mock your prisoners? Such cruelty.”

Atrina rolled her eyes. “Back to the point here, who hired you to kill us?”

“A rather taciturn fellow in the capital. Loghain, I think his name was? Yes, that's it.”

“Does this mean you're loyal to Loghain?” Alistair asked, stepping closer to the Crow.

Zevran craned his neck to look up at Alistair better. “I have no idea what his issues are with you. The usual, I imagine. You threaten his power, yes? Beyond that, no, I'm not loyal to him. I was contracted to perform a service.”

“Which you failed to do.”

Zevran spoke with a slight chuckle in his voice. “Well, that's between Loghain and the Crows. And between the Crows and myself.”

“When were you supposed to meet him?” Wanda asked, moving closer.

Zevran raised a brow as he looked at her. “Is this a normal practice to have everyone take turns questioning me?” he asked as he glanced back at Atrina.

She shrugged. “She was the one who beat you, so answer her question before she decides to knock you out again.”

“Ah, good point,” he said before turning to Wanda. “As to your question, I wasn't. If I had succeeded, I would have returned home and the Crows would have informed your Loghain of the results... if he didn't already know. If I had failed, I would be dead. Or I _should_ be, at least as far as the Crows are concerned. No need to see Loghain then.”

Wanda forced herself to hold back an amused look. “ _If_ you had failed?”

Zevran grinned at her. “What can I say? I am an eternal optimist. Although the chances of succeeding at this point seem a bit slim, don't they?” he asked before laughing. His laughter settled down as he looked at the serious faces looking back at him. “No, I don't suppose you'd find that funny, would you?”

“How much were you paid, exactly?” Alistair asked.

“I wasn't paid anything,” Zevran stated. “The Crows, however, were paid quite handsomely. Or so I understand. Which makes me about as poor as a chantry mouse, come to think of it. Being an Antivan Crow isn't for the ambitious, to be perfectly honest.”

“Then why are you one?” Wanda asked.

“Well, aside from a distinct lack of ambition I suppose it's because I wasn't given much of a choice. The Crows bought me young. I was a bargain, too, or so I'm led to believe. But don't let my sad story influence you...”

Atrina started tuning him out, remembering the dialogue fairly well. Her arm ached and she wanted to hurry up and just recruit Zevran already so that she could be healed. She heard the slight flirting between the two and had to hold back a smile.

“Soo,” Atrina began, regaining his attention. “Why are you telling us all of this?”

Zevran chuckled lightly. “Why not? I wasn't paid for silence. Not that I offered it for sale, precisely.”

“Not loyal to your employers then?”

“Loyalty is an interesting concept. If you wish, and you're done interrogating me, we can discuss it further.”

 _Finally, getting somewhere._ “Make it quick then,” she said.

“Well, here's the thing. I failed to kill you, so my life is forfeit. That's how it works. If you don't kill me, the Crows will. Thing is, I like living. And you obviously are the sort to give the Crows pause. So let me serve you, instead.”

“Can I expect the same treatment later?” she asked with a tilt of her head. “How do I know you won't try to murder me or Alistair the moment you have a chance?”

“I am a very loyal person by nature and would not aim to kill you,” he told her. “Honestly, I think my chances are slim with how well you bested me now and with how darkly your lover is glaring at me from behind you.”

Atrina blinked. _Lover...?_ She turned to see Alistair suddenly turning a shade of pink.

“I-- we are _not_ lovers,” he quickly said, trying to will back his blush, while Atrina was suddenly being hit with her own.

 _That was unexpected..._ she thought before turning her attention back to Zevran.

“Truly? I had assumed... Ah, no matter.” He looked a little unconvinced but he changed the subject easily. “Even if I did kill you now, they might kill me just on principle for failing the first time. Honestly, I'd rather take my chances with you.”

“And if they come after you?”

“True, it is possible. Though I happen to know their wily ways, however. I can protect myself, as well as you. Not that you seem to need much help. And if not... well, it's not as if I had many alternatives to start with, is it?”

“And? What do you want in return?”

“Well... let's see.” He seemed to think it over for a moment. “Being allowed to live would be nice, and would make me marginally more useful to you. And somewhere down the line if you should decide that you no longer have need of me, then I go on my way. Until then, I am yours. Is that fair?”

Atrina hummed in thought. “Hmm... What skills do you have?”

“I am skilled at many things, from fighting to stealth and picking locks.” At his words, Atrina held back a laugh, though she wondered if he actually did have skills in lock picking? _Maybe it's just in the game he doesn't start off with it..._

Not noticing her thoughts he continued. “I could also warn you should the Antivan Crows attempt something more... sophisticated... now that my attempts have failed. I could also stand around and look pretty, if you prefer. Warm your bed? Fend off unwanted suitors? No?”

At that Atrina did let out a small laugh. “Uh, no thank you.”

“Ah, pity...”

“Though,” she began as she glanced at Wanda. “I can't really say for anyone else traveling with us on what they might like, sooo...”

Zevran raised an eyebrow at her words. “Oh?” His eyes turned to Wanda to see her trying to hold back a smile. A smirk flashed on his face before he looked back at Atrina. “So what shall it be? I'll even shine armor. You won't find a better deal, I promise.”

“Well--”

“You can't actually be considering this?” Alistair said, surprising her. “He's an assassin that tired to _kill_ you!”

She turned to him. “He might be useful--”

“Useful? _That's_ your reason?” he asked looking at her in disbelief. “I know we're desperate for help, but this--”

“Oh, stop complaining, Alistair!” Wanda said, turning to him. “If he tried anything, then kill him, but for now, he's willing to just be of help.”

Alistair glared at her. “He could _turn_ on us!”

“All right!” Atrina stepped in between them, forcing them to calm down. “I get it, it's a risk, but who hasn't joined us that's not a risk in some way?”

Alistair opened his mouth before closing it. “Well...”

She nodded her head. “There's no reason we can't have him join. Besides...” She looked back down at Zevran, who watched the exchange with mild amusement. “Could be handy having an assassin in our ranks...” _He can teach me to be an assassin, which I think might be more useful than a bard..._

Alistair looked at her before glancing at Zevran. A sigh escaped him before he gave in. He didn't look pleased, but he held no more arguments.

“All right, it's settled,” Atrina said as she turned back to Zevran. “Just know I will sick Alistair on you if you ever betray us,” she added with a smile before kneeling down and cutting the rope.

Offering Zevran her hand he took it with a small smile. “I hereby pledge my oath of loyalty to you, until such a time as you choose to release me from it. I am your man, without reservation... this I swear.” He bowed while Wanda and Atrina shared a secret smile.

 _Just two more companions now and we'll be all set!_ she thought with slight excitement.

Suddenly she felt a warm sensation come over her before looking down at her arm. The cut was gone and everyone looked slightly refreshed. Glancing behind her she saw Wynne lower her stave.

“I thought it was about time I healed everyone, wouldn't you agree?” she asked, earning a smile from Atrina.

“Thanks, Wynne,” she said before she instructed everyone to loot the bodies and the caravan. “Was there anything in there?” She looked at Zevran.

“Hm? Oh, no, not really. But some of my former fellows here do have some coin on them.” He grinned at her before setting out to help loot.

Wanda came up next to her and gave her a quick hug. “Thank you!” she whispered before skipping off to help Zevran.

Atrina smiled to herself before feeling someone behind her. Looking back she wasn't surprised to see Alistair there, though he didn't look too happy with her. _Oh boy..._

“Can we talk?” he asked his serious expression not fading.

Atrina suddenly missed being able to go back to a previous save in the game. _But you can't do that, can you, Atrina?_ she thought before nodding to him. “Of course.”

His gaze softened a little before he led her further from the group. “Look... I didn't want to say this in front of the others and have them questioning your authority...” he began before noticing her confused look. “What?”

She shook her head. “Um, nothing... continue.”

Looking at her for a moment he nodded. “But... _what_ were you thinking?” he asked in a hushed tone as he stepped closer to her. “Running off like that into the battlefield-- against an opponent on your own like that!” His voice didn't raise, but he clearly sounded upset with her.

Atrina's eyes widened. “Pardon?” she asked, causing Alistair to sigh.

He rubbed his forehead in exasperation. “Do you think you're invincible or something? That was extremely reckless, Atrina. If Wanda hadn't...” he trailed off as he glanced away from her.

She continued to stare at him in shock. Was she really being reckless with how she handled fights? In her mind she knew she would come out on top somehow... but how much of that was true?

 _If... if this_ is _real, I could die..._ she thought, having almost forgotten. When she had been in Ostagar, just before the Joining, hadn't she been afraid she would die? That she wouldn't survive the Joining?

“Just... just because you're a Grey Warden...” Alistair began, catching her attention once more. “Doesn't mean you can't _die_ , Atrina.” His eyes connected with hers and she felt the weight of his words.

“I...” Her eyes remained locked on his and her heart lurched a little. “I've always been like that...” she admitted as her eyes jumped away from his. “I'm used to having to take care of things myself...”

Alistair placed a hand on her shoulder and she resisted jumping at the contact. “But you're not taking care of it yourself... _I'm_ here.”

Glancing back up at him, she felt her heart beat fast at his words and his expression. _He is here..._ She felt herself growing warm before she pushed the thoughts away. _You really are starting to push it, Atrina..._ she thought before giving him a small smile. “I'll be more careful.”

He looked slightly pleased before he raised his other hand. Lifting his pinkie he smiled at her slightly stunned expression. “Promise me?”

Her smile grew at the gesture before a small laugh left her as she locked her pinkie with his larger one. “Promise.”

His smile grew into a grin. “Good.” With that he released her. “Now, come on before something happens without us involved.”

Atrina nodded before following after him. The thoughts she wanted to keep at bay were coming back. Biting her lip she wondered if she would be able to let him go when it was time to.

 _It's 'if',_ not _'when'... right?_ As much as she wanted to believe that the world around her was real, there were still doubts in her mind and fear in her heart. Could she take it if she woke up in a hospital bed after it was all over?

 _Maker... please, if this isn't real, let it end before it's too late... But if it's real..._ she thought as she looked up at the people around her. _Let me live through it..._

 

 

Lunch came out well, what with it being mostly cow meat. Zevran had stated that the cow that he and the other Crows had in their trap had been slaughtered was a recent killing, so the meat was still good.

After it was cooked everyone waited for him to take the first bite, just in case. With an amused expression the whole time, Zevran took a good size bite of his portion before chewing and swallowing it. When he didn't show any signs of being sick or dying, everyone relaxed and enjoyed their meal.

“Finally, I've been wanting something different...” Atrina mumbled as she happily dug into her food.

“Glad I could help provide,” Zevran commented. “Shame we can't have it a little fancier, no?”

The sound rustling and panting reached their ears. Alistair was the first to draw his sword just before a man stumbled out of the woods. He looked at them with wide eyes as his body shook.

The man looked beaten and bruised, his once glamorous tunic was now in shreds, and he looked like he was about to collapse at any moment. A gasp left him when he looked at Alistair.

“Y-your Majesty...”

Alistair's eyes widened. “What? N-no! I'm not... Wait, I know you...” he said just before the man fell forward.

Atrina and Wynne ran over to the man as Alistair sheathed his sword. “Who is he?” Atrina asked as she looked him over. The man looked familiar to her, but she had a feeling it was more from being a NPC than from being someone she had actually met.

“Ostagar...” Wynne answered. “He was one of the king's honor guard.”

Atrina looked at Wanda and saw the shocked look that she figured mirrored her own. They hadn't expected the man from the Ostagar DLC to suddenly show up now. “Let's set up a tent and see to his wounds...” she instructed before they worked on pitching a tent.

They set up a temporary camp as the man rested in the tent. Bodhan and his wagon showed up in time to give them more supplies to use on the man.

“We saw that the fighting had stopped so we felt it safe to catch up. Isn't that right, my boy?”

“Enchantment!” Sandal said with a nod.

“We appreciate you coming,” Atrina said, earning big smiles from the dwarves.

With Wanda's help, Wynne tended to the honor guard's injuries, but the elder mage wasn't optimistic about his chances of surviving.

“I will continue to watch over him, however,” Wynne said. “Hopefully he will waken soon. I'm anxious to know how he escaped Ostagar.”

“Agreed,” Alistair said. “The last I knew of the honor guard, they all had marched with Cailan into the battlefield. Why isn't he dead?”

“Well, he's obviously been beaten a great deal...” Atrina said as she looked back at the tent. “Let us know if anything changes, Wynne.”

At the the mage's nod Atrina turned and moved over to a tree sat down underneath its branches. Leaning back against the trunk a sigh left her. Her thoughts churned at the turn of events that spread out before her.

 _If I remember the game right, we should have found him surrounded by some Bann's soldiers, and I honestly expected to find him closer to the Landsmeet..._ she thought with a slight frown. Atrina had hoped to talk to Wanda about this, but she seemed more focused on getting to know Zevran.

A shadow moved over her and she looked up to see Alistair standing next to her. “Are you all right?” he asked as he sat down next to her.

Blinking at him she looked at him curiously. “Yes, why wouldn't I be?”

“You just... seem a little down, is all...” he admitted glancing away from her for a moment. “I wondered if it had anything to do with the honor guard...”

Tilting her head to the side she thought over what he said. _I'm not even worried about why the honor guard appeared..._ “Well... I know there's a lot of unknowns with him, but... do you think someone is after him?” she asked, earning a surprised look. “I mean, he seemed to be running from something...”

“Well, you could be right, he--” Men entering the camp stopped the conversation short. Both Alistair and Atrina stood as the soldiers looked around. “Could we help you with something?” Alistair asked loudly, gaining the attention of everyone in the temporary camp.

“We are looking for a man who's escaped justice,” the soldier in charge stated as he pointed to his men to search.

“Ah, that sigil...” Alistair stated before nodding. “Bann Loren's men, I take it? We must be just outside his lands then.” His voice carried a little over the camp. “Who are you looking for?”

“Aye, you are. And the man's a deserter from Ostagar. We believe he might have information about how the battle went south. Have you seen anyone?”

“Actually,” Atrina said, speaking up as everyone looked at her. “I saw a man earlier, ser... He ran a ways down the road though, heading towards Redcliffe,” she said as docile as she could, especially with the way the soldier eyed her.

“Ehh, why does your elf have armor?” the soldier asked, eyeing Alistair now.

Alistair opened his mouth to protest that she wasn't 'his elf', but glanced at Atrina to see her standing with her head bowed. Looking back to the soldier, Alistair shrugged. “The roads are dangerous at this time, aren't they? No reason why she can't be protected.”

The soldier narrowed his eyes at Alistair before glancing around the rest of the camp. Most everyone else was in armor, even Zevran wore his leather armor still. “Who do you work for?”

“Oh, they're our guards, ser,” Bodhan suddenly spoke up as he walked over to them. “My boy and I hired them to keep us safe on the roads, as you know with the civil war and all, it's mighty dangerous for a merchant.”

The soldier looked at his other men before nodding. “All right, and you're sure he went down that road, elf?”

Atrina nodded, not raising her head. “Yes, ser, he seemed badly injured so he might have turned into the woods to try and throw off any trail...”

He sighed in annoyance. “All right, you three, search the woods while the rest of us check the road. Move out!”

Without another word to anyone in camp the soldiers left. Once they were out of sight Alistair turned to Atrina, who was looking proud of herself. “You know... you're scary good at that...”

She grinned at him. “I know.”

Wynne pulled back the opening of the tent. “Are the men gone?”

“Yes, Wynne,” Atrina said as she turned to her. “Is he awake?”

The mage nodded. “Yes, and he would like to speak to you, both of you.”

Atrina and Alistair exchanged looks before following Wynne into the tent. The honor guard looked at them from the bed roll he was on. “Grey Wardens... Thank the Maker it was you who I ran into...”

“You're not going to confuse me with someone else again, are you?” Alistair asked, earning a slightly amused look from Atrina.

The honor guard grimaced slightly. “My... apologies... you look... ah, never mind. My name is Elric Maraigne, I was a member of King Cailan's honor guard...”

“Wynne says you were in Ostagar?” Atrina asked, earning his attention.

“Yes... you were the newest recruit for the wardens, weren't you?”

Atrina nodded. “Can you tell us how you ended up being chased by Bann Loren's men?”

He nodded weakly before explaining how he wound up in the Bann's dungeon. “I should be dead, but I'm not... not yet at least,” he murmured. “Maker... All that time in Bann Loren's prison and I couldn't stop thinking about all they suffered that one dark night at Ostagar...” He shook his head. “Even had Loghain's men not turned their backs on us, the darkspawn were too many. Even Cailan, for all his bravado, knew there would be no victory at Ostargar. The king entrusted me with the key to the royal arms chest. If anything were to happen to him, he said, it was vital I deliver it to the Wardens...”

“To the royal arms chest?” Alistair asked.

“Yes...”

“I don't suppose you still have it?” Atrina asked, finding herself not knowing the answer anymore. _What was it? Why can't I remember anything about the key or the chest?_ she thought with a frown.

“The Maker has a sense of humor, doesn't He? I suppose it's for the best, however-- had I kept it, it would be in Bann Loren's hands by now.”

Alistair shook his head in slight annoyance. “Why am I not surprised? Is there someone else we should be bringing back from the brink of death instead?”

“I was afraid. I thought I would lose it on the battlefield, so I stashed it in the camp. Please-- it's probably still there.”

“But what about the darkspawn?” Atrina asked. “Could they have gotten to it?”

“I hope not. Would they know how to work the lock even if they did?”

“The darkspawn are more cunning than we give them credit for,” Wynne added. “But the king trusted that lock with his secrets. I'd guess that the contents of that chest are still intact.”

Atrina didn't look convinced. “Well, they could smash the box, couldn't they? They corrupt everything they touch...”

Elric shook his head. “There would be no reason... The sword alone would have kept them at bay...”

Atrina was stunned. “Sword? What sword?”

“King Maric's sword...” Alistair said softly, causing her attention to be turned to him. “It is said to be enchanted... and that it can keep the corruption the darkspawn taint at bay... I'm not real sure how true that is, but that's the legend.”

“If that's true... why didn't Cailan use it during the battle?”

“He was saving it to kill the archdemon with... though Duncan would never had let him deliver the blow... Only the Wardens can.”

Atrina nodded slowly. “Right...” she mumbled as she felt more lost and in the dark. _Wait... shouldn't I_ know _how..._

“More than that,” Elric said, bringing Atrina out of her thoughts. “There was a secret compartment where he kept documents concerning his dealings with Empress Celene and the Orlesians.

“The Orelsians?” Alistair asked with clear shock on his face.

“Yes... Please, the key's behind a loose stone in the base of a statue.” He handed Wynne a piece of paper. “I've drawn a map for you so you'll know where to search.”

“Call me sentimental,” Alistair began, turning to Atrina. “But I left behind some darkspawn that really deserve a sword through the middle,” Alistair stated.

A half smile lit Atrina's face as she looked up at him. “I feel a few of them might need a good dagger to the back...”

Wynne turned to her. “The events at Ostagar still invade my thoughts, Atrina. If that is where we are headed, I would like to accompany you.”

“Me too!” Wanda's head popped into the tent causing everyone to look at her in surprise. “Um... sorry, I couldn't help but overhear...” She smiled sheepishly as she moved to sit by Atrina. “But, yes, take me with you when you go, okay?”

Atrina nodded. “Um, yeah, sure...”

“It is vital that the king's documents do not fall into the wrong hands,” Elric said as he started to grow weaker. “As for Maric's sword, as you said, it is too powerful to be pawed at by those monsters... Please, retrieve what you can of the kings other arms and armor as well...”

Atrina nodded slowly. “We could use that sword at least...”

“And... and if you happen to find Cailan's body, see it off. He was our king. He shouldn't be left to rot amidst the darkspawn's filth...”

“Of course we will,” Wynne said as she placed a hand on his shoulder. “Rest now, Elric...”

He nodded weakly before closing his eyes.

Everyone shared silent looks before leaving the tent. Atrina turned to them the moment everyone was out. “I know we need to go to Ostagar... but at the moment I don't think we can...

“We're already on a time crunch,” she continued when no one said anything. “As soon as Eamon is healed or whatever the Maker has planned for him... then we can see about Ostagar.”

Solemnly they nodded. It was clear they all wanted to venture there as soon as possible, but felt she was right in her words.

“What shall we do about Elric?” Alistair asked. “We can't very well take him with us, he's already too badly injured and weak.”

Atrina bit her bottom lip in thought. If she was remembering right, Elric died after telling the Warden about Ostagar in the game, but that was only because he had been run through by Bann Loren's men before the Warden got to him. “I... I don't know,” she finally said.

“We need to get out of the Bann's lands,” Wanda stated as she crossed her arms. “If the soldiers come back this way, they'll find Elric for sure.”

A sigh left Atrina. “Does anyone have a suggestion?”

“Seems clear what needs to be done; kill him.”

A stunned silence fell over them as they looked at Morrigan. She stood with her arms crossed over her chest. “Why do you look at me so?”

“Because you just told us to murder the man,” Alistair said coldly.

Sten moved over to the group. “He is a deserter and is already dying,” he declared. “In the Qun he would be a Tal-Vashoth.”

“This isn't--”

“U-um, pardon me, Warden.” Bodhan warily walked up to Atrina. “There's plenty of room in my wagon... My boy and I can take him to the next town? There's one ways up when you turn left on fork in the road. We can travel that road until we meet up again.” Bodhan held up his personal map of Fereldan. “We've traveled this path many times. We can meet here,” he said pointing to the place on the map.

Atrina squinted at the map before pulling out her own. Glancing at her own she nodded. “That might work actually...”

“That's a great idea!” Wanda said, grinning as she looked down at the map behind Atrina. “You can meet us there.”

“Will you two be all right?” Atrina asked with concern as she folded up the map.

“Oh, my boy and I will be just fine. We've traveled the roads long before Lothering, and the darkspawn are still further south from what I hear.”

“We should probably leave together for a little bit...” she said when she thought about it. “At least until we're far from Loren's lands.”

With that they packed up the temporary camp. Alistair let Elric lean on him as he moved into the cart. “Thank you, Wardens...” the man said gratefully as he settled in the cart. After making sure he was secure Bodhan urged his horse forward.

Everyone remained on guard as they traveled, expecting the Bann's men to catch up with them. None came however and the group parted from Bodhan and Sandal, continuing down the planned path.

 


	14. Nightmare Talks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nightmares continuously haunt Atrina as she finds that Alistair is always there to calm her. She learns a little bit more about the wardens Alistair knew.  
> Each scar tells a story and each smile holds a promise.

* * *

 

 

Another nightmare shook Atrina from her slumber. She gasped, her body shaking, as she felt tears slip down from her eyes. Still being half asleep she wiped her eyes with clumsy hands. An ogre snatching her up in her mind caused her to jump.

“I've got to get up...” she mumbled as she forced herself to sit up.

Looking around the tent in the dark she found the mysterious large tunic and a pair of pants. After slipping the articles of clothing on she, sort of, crawled out of the tent. As she stood she felt her knees shake, but she ignored it as she walked towards the fire, seeking its light and warmth.

A sigh left her as she sat down in front of the fire. She took in the warmth and glow, silently wishing for the flames to burn the images from her mind.

“...Another nightmare?”

Atrina stifled the urge to jump in surprise when she heard Alistair's voice. Turning her head she found she had sat down right beside him without even noticing the ex-templar. “Um... yeah.”

His eyes were full of concern as he looked at her. “What did you..?”

She glanced away from him and looked at the fire once more. “It was different things... mostly the darkspawn,” she said, hugging her legs to her chest. “But other parts...”

The image of the archdemon towering over her as bodies of men, women, and darkspawn littered the ground flashed in her mind. Atrina stared hard at the fire as she could almost see in her peripheral vision, the bodies of her comrades around her. Every time she blinked the image became more clear, Alistair and Wanda's bodies filling her vision, so she tried to stop blinking for awhile.

Feeling an arm wrap around her shoulders she immediately hid her face in her knees as she tensed. At his contact she felt both tears of relief and fear building up, threatening to fall. She didn't want him to see her cry because he had enough to deal without worrying about her falling apart. _Again... He doesn't need me to cry again..._

She felt him give her shoulder a squeeze and suddenly her walls crumbled down. A sudden sob went through her, causing her body to shake. Alistair wrapped his other arm around her and pulled her fully into his arms to where she was almost sitting in his lap. She clung to his tunic as she buried her face in his chest, the tears flowing freely now.

As he rocked her gently, he rubbed her back, whispering to her that it would be okay. “You're not alone... I'm here,” he said as he felt her slowly calm down.

Atrina breathed deeply as she looked up at him. “Thank you...” she whispered as she sniffled.

He smiled gently down at her as he brushed some strands of hair away from her face. “Anytime.”

She shifted against him before slipping out of his arms. “Can...” she began, looking at him shyly. “Can I stay out here with you? I don't think...” she trailed off, feeling afraid to return to sleep.

“Atrina,” he said, regaining her gaze. “You can stay wherever you like.”

She smiled up at him before moving to sit next to him again. Her body remained close to his as she silently missed his warmth suddenly. “How do you stop the dreams?” she asked as she looked back up at him.

“Well, you can't really stop them... you can block them however,” he explained. “It takes meditation.”

She blinked at him. “I don't think I'm patient enough for that...” she admitted.

He chuckled a little. “I think you are. You've been patient with me,” he reminded.

She scoffed lightly. “You're not annoying nor do you make me upset, Alistair.”

“I have frightened you on occasion though.”

“Ha! You just have a nasty habit of sneaking up on me when you don't even mean to.”

“And I'm not even a rogue!”

She stuck her tongue out at him, causing him to laugh. Nudging him with her shoulder, Alistair only laughed more. Atrina let out a yawn and stretched as she finally felt more relaxed. “What was it like? With the other Wardens?” she asked as she leaned against him.

“Uh... well, we were pretty much a big family,” he answered as he found a stick to break apart. “Though, the ones that I was closest to were Bastian Dior and Tiberius.” A soft smile lit his face as he spoke of them.

Atrina looked at him with surprise. _He only ever talked about Duncan and one other warden in the game..._ “What were they like?”

“Well, Tiberius was much closer to Duncan's age, but still hadn't been a warden as long. He was... well, let's just say he was known for losing coin easily,” Alistair said with a small chuckle. “And Bastian? Bastian was as friendly as can be-- _especially_ to the women.”

“But... I thought you said there weren't any women?”

“He flirted with any woman he saw-- on the road. We did travel some, you know.”

Atrina looked at the fire with a slight frown. “Oh... But were there really no female wardens?”

“Well, not in the Fereldan Wardens, at least. I think there's some in other countries. Remember, we were already the smallest number of Wardens-- and that was _before_ Ostagar...”

“So,” she said as she put her chin on his shoulder to look at him without effort. She could see his cheeks were a little pink, but her tired mind decided it was the light of the fire. “It was just a bunch of men all together?”

“Um, right. Just us men...”

“You were like a bunch of rowdy boys, then?” she asked, wearing a teasing smile.

“Ha, you could say that,” he said as he tossed the broken stick into the flames.

“...You think they would have liked me?” she asked softly, resting her head on his shoulder as she stared into the fire.

“...They would have loved you,” he whispered just as softly, making her feel warm inside. “And they would have crawled all over themselves to try and impress you, I'd wager,” he added in a louder voice. “Especially Bastian-- that man would have flirted with you the moment he met you.”

Atrina let out a short laugh, feeling herself blush a little. “Yeah, only because I'd be the only female they would be around for a long period of time.”

“That, aaand because you're _you._ Also helps that you're beautiful. You even had Cailan and Teagan falling all over you.”

She raised her head to look at him with narrowed eyes. “One, it was Wanda Cailan fell over, not me. He only flirted-- though we did only speak twice,” she said as she thought back. “Two... okay, you're right about Teagan.” She tapped her chin in thought. “But... you make it seem like I'm something special. Almost like a goddess or something,” she said with a little sarcasm in her voice.

He looked down at her in surprise before placing a hand over his heart dramatically. “You mean you're _not?_ All this time I had been secretly worshiping the ground you walk on! How _embarrassing_.”

She lightly bumped his shoulder with hers. “Shut up!” she said, laughing.

He grinned at her. “Well, you _are_ \-- uh, special, I mean.”

She shook her head still smiling. “You only say that because I'm the leader.”

“You really think that's the only reason why I think you're special?” he asked, causing her to look at him again. He gave her one of the most serious looks she had seen on him.

 _Does he really think I'm special?_ she wondered before speaking. “Well, _that_ , and I laugh at all your cheesy jokes.”

“Yes, that's _exactly_ the reason!” he said, using his over dramatic voice once more. “I'm secretly trying to make you fall for me with my jokes to make up for my lack of flirting skills. Is it working?” He gave her a teasing grin as he raised a brow.

 _You don't even need to try..._ she thought as she gave him an amused look. Then she reached over and messed with his hair.

“He- _ey!_ Don't mess up the hair!” he whined as he worked on smoothing out his hair.

Atrina let out a laugh as she rested her head on her knees as she looked at him. “But it's been tempting me this _whole_ time!”

“You shouldn't give into temptations, you know,” he huffed, causing her to giggle.

“Where did you get that sense of humor of yours, anyway? Couldn't have been from the chantry.”

Alistair hummed a little. “Well... naturally, I guess? I mean, I had to do something to make the bad days not so... bad.”

“I know what you mean,” she said, thinking about her own childhood. “I did whatever I could to get out of my house... I snuck out a lot-- especially at night. I would climb on the tree that's in the center of the Alienage and just stare at the stars, imagining I was thousands of miles away. Stars and books were my escape as a kid.” _Though, on earth I climbed the roof of our house..._

“I guess every child who's somewhere they don't want to be tries to find an escape...” he said as he looked at the fire.

She let out a yawn before shaking her head, making a slight squeaking sound. When she was done she looked at Alistair to see him giving her a surprised look. “What?”

“You... you squeaked,” he said, blinking. A grin came over his features. “That's... got to be one of the _cutest_ things I've ever heard.”

Atrina opened her mouth as she blushed before shutting it. Nudging him with her shoulder he laughed in response. Huffing a little, she moved to lay down, resting her head on his leg. “Shush.”

Alistair's eyebrows went up in surprise as he looked down at her. “Well, hello there.”

“Hi,” she said as she got settled. “You're surprisingly comfy.”

“Uh, thank you?” he said with a slight chuckle in his voice. “Should add that to my list of qualifications: 'Makes a good pillow.'”

She laughed a little as she started to sound tired. “You make me happy, you know that?”

He looked at her with a slightly amused expression. “That's good to know.”

“I mean it,” she said as she looked up at him with a sleepy smile. “I enjoy being around you.”

“You know, I was just thinking the same thing,” he said with a grin. “I'm so grateful that you're you, instead of some other Grey Warden... that sounded better in my head.” He looked up at the fire. “I just mean... you've been a very...” He seemed to struggle for a moment to find the right words. “Good comrade and friend... I was lucky to have survived with you...” he said before looking back down at her. He was greeted with the sight of her lightly snoozing as she rested on his leg. Holding back a sigh, he brushed some strands of hair from her face. “I hadn't meant to make you fall asleep...” he whispered.

Atrina turned over and moved closer to him. A deep sigh left her before a hint of a smile graced her lips. “You didn't...” she mumbled half asleep. “You're just... soothing...”

He studied her for a moment, unsure of what to say. “...Want me to move you to your tent?”

She opened her eyes slightly, but had a little trouble focusing on him. “You said... I could stay wherever I wanted.”

He chuckled softly. “All right, sleep on the hard ground... I'm not getting my leg back, am I?”

She gave him another sleepy smile as she closed her eyes once more. “Nope... I did say you were comfy...”

Alistair sighed a little though he didn't mind her staying. “Sweet dreams, Atrina...”

 

Birds in the early morning lulled Atrina out of sleep. As she started to fully awake, her back ached a little, reminding her that she had slept outside of her tent. A soft groan left her as she moved to stretch.

Something tugged tightly around her waist when she tried to move. Her eyes opened in surprise to the feeling. Looking down at her stomach she spotted the arm that was wrapped securely around her. Feeling herself tense she turned her head to see Alistair's sleeping face next to hers.

She put her hand over her mouth to stop herself from squeaking in surprise. _What is he doing? Why are we like this?_ she questioned before she realized that her head was resting against his arm.

Blush crept up her cheeks as she stared at him. She took in his sleeping face, seeing him more relaxed than she could remember. She felt slightly relieved to know he wasn't having a nightmare, but she felt the panic start to rise in her.

 _Okay, okay, don't panic..._ she thought as she took some calming breaths. _How did we even end up like this?_

Hearing a stifled giggle, she turned her head to see Wanda and Leliana giggling behind their hands from the other side of the fire. She blushed more as she quickly glared at them.

“Don't just sit there! Help me!” she whispered urgently.

“Aww, but it's so cute!” Wanda whispered back, earning a giggle from Leliana.

Atrina glared daggers at her. “If you don't help me, Wanda, I'll--”

“All right, all right,” Wanda said, rolling her eyes as she stood. “Party pooper,” she stated before whistling for Grunt. “Go save Momma, Grunty.”

Grunt wagged his short tail as he trotted over to Atrina and Alistair. Without warning, he gave Alistair a big wet lick on his face, successfully waking the Warden.

“What in the--!” Alistair sputtered as he released his hold on Atrina, who quickly rolled away from him. “Grunt? Get off!”

Atrina quickly stood and straightened her clothes and hair as best she could. “Grunt. Here, boy,” she called, kneeling down.

Grunt ran over to her to receive his pets. He barked happily as Alistair wiped the slobber off his face.

“That's... that's disgusting!”

Atrina giggled. “I guess it's time to wake up.” She stood up before moving to her tent. “And now I change.”

Alistair groaned as he got up. “Why did he lick me instead of you?”

“How do you know he didn't lick me first?” Atrina asked from inside her tent.

“Because,” Alistair said as he stretched. “You shriek whenever he wakes you with a lick.”

She popped her head out of the tent and huffed. “I do not shriek!”

“Yes, you do,” he stated as he turned to her.

“Do not!”

“Do too.”

“No!”

Alistair rolled his eyes. “Yes! Tell me I'm wrong, Leliana.”

The bard smiled. “Sorry, Atrina, but Alistair is right.”

Atrina blushed in embarrassment. “Geez! Are you people documenting my life or something?” she asked before going fully back into the tent.

Leliana chuckled. “I am at least. Isn't that right, Alistair?”

Alistair glared at the redhead. “...I told you, no!”

“No what?” Wanda asked, looking at the two with renewed interests.

“Okay, now I'm curious,” Atrina said as she stepped out of the tent dressed and ready to go.

“It- it's nothing!” Alistair said, laughing nervously.

Leliana smiled at his discomfort. “Oh, I'll tell you two all about it later,” she said, earning a wide eyed look from Alistair.

Atrina shook her head. “Okay, I'm honestly not surprised you're taking notes or whatever,” she said. “I'm actually writing things down myself.”

“Ooh, then we could compare notes to see what the other doesn't notice,” Leliana offered as she watched Alistair start to look a little panicked.

“Uhh... well...” Atrina said suddenly sounding nervous. “Maybe when all this is over?”

Leliana and Alistair gave her curious looks while Wanda rolled her eyes. “Anyways, breakfast should be ready soon. Wynne's cooking today.”

Atrina looked at her in surprise. “Why isn't Morrigan? Is she okay?”

“Well, we can't expect her to cook all the time,” Wanda stated. “Besides, Wynne felt like cooking this time.”

“Oh, well, let's go eat then.”

 

The group traveled without encountering much of anything else on their path. Sten had confronted Atrina about what she planned to do about the darkspawn.

“Defeat them?” she offered, earning an annoyed response. She threw her hands up in the air when none of the answers seemed to satisfy him. “Look, Sten, I'm not here impress you or the Qun. We have a plan in place to procure allies-- which we will need in the fight.”

“No, I suppose you're not...”

“Good, glad we got that out of the way. Oh, and before you say anything, yes, I am a woman, and yes, I am a Grey Warden. Women can fight too, we don't have to just be priests or healers,” she added, remembering that conversation from the game. She wanted to go ahead and get it out of the way.

“That makes no sense.”

Her shoulders slumped. _Of course he'd say that..._ “Sten, I get that it's different where you are from and you're in a foreign land where no one speaks your native tongue,” she said, feeling sympathetic. “But not everything is like it is back home, and you can't really expect each new place you find yourself in to be similar to what you're used to.” _Believe me, I know how you feel..._ she added silently.

He studied her for a moment, remaining silent. “...You speak with truth.”

“If I went to your homeland, I couldn't expect things to be the same there.”

“No, they would take you and demand you join the Qun.”

Atrina frowned. “I know...”

Sten narrowed his violet eyes at her. “You sound forlorn.”

“I am, because if I was part of the Qun, I don't think I would fit right...”

He stared at her. “You have given me a lot to think about, Warden.”

Atrina nodded. “You as well.”

Sten walked away from her and she watched him curiously. Wanda joined her side. “Huh... that went differently than I expected.”

Atrina shrugged. “Well, I think I made my point though.”

“Maybe... let's hope so.”

Atrina smiled at her. “Oh, can you convince Zevran to teach me to be an assassin?”

Wanda tapped her chin in thought. “Hmm... maybe, but only if you can get Morrigan to teach me to shape shift,” she stated with a grin.

Atrina hummed a little. “Maybe... her and I have been working a lot together. She's been teaching me of herbs and remedies for things. It's been pretty fun.”

“Wynne's gave me some pointers on being a healer,” Wanda said with a grin. “It's been interesting. Have you learned to be a bard from Leliana?”

“Well, I don't know how helpful that will be for me... If I were a warrior, I'd ask Alistair to teach me some templar techniques. You should have seen him at the Circle!” she said with excitement. “We were looking for Flemeth's grimoire and it was hidden by magic.” She put her hands on her own shoulders. “And Alistair went like this,” she began as she demonstrated what he did. “And this wave left him, revealing the chest where the book was-- it was really cool!”

“Glad to hear that I've impressed you.”

Atrina jumped almost a foot in the air before turning to see Alistair leaning against a tree. He tried to keep a straight face, but couldn't hold it any longer and started laughing.

Atrina turned bright red. “Oooh, you sneak--”

“Isn't that my line to you?” he asked as he walked over to her.

Wanda let out a laugh. “Oh man, that was funny! You jumped so high!”

Atrina glared at her, but Wanda continued to giggle. “Thanks a lot.”

“Hey, it's not my fault!”

“Now, now, ladies,” Alistair interrupted as he stepped between them. “No need to start a fuss.”

Atrina rolled her eyes. “Oh please, you're the one that snuck up on me.”

“Hey now, I didn't sneak anywhere. I just happened to be nearby when you started talking about me. It's not my fault you didn't notice me. Wanda did.”

Atrina turned her glare to Wanda to see her looking a little sheepish. “Um, well... yes, but you were on a roll, I didn't want to interrupt...”

“Uh-huh.”

“So no need to get upset or anything.”

“Who says I'm upset?” Atrina placed her hands on her hips as she looked at Alistair. “I'm just concerned that one day you're going to get hurt because you snuck up on me one too many times.”

Alistair chuckled. “Please, you wouldn't hurt me.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “Hmm... why don't we have a sparring match?”

Alistair and Wanda's eyes widened at her words. “Pardon?”

“Atrina, that's cute, but Alistair is a warrior and-- let's face it, you're not Zevran or Leliana's level of rogue.”

Atrina gasped at Wanda. “I can't believe you just said that!”

“Well, it's true, they've both had years of training, much more than you have had. Alistair trained to be a templar since he was a child also, so...”

Atrina stomped over to Alistair and grabbed his arm. “Hey--” he let out only for her to drag him off to grab their weapons before leading him to an area of the camp with not a lot of things around. “Atrina, I don't think--” he began as he took his sword and shield.

“No, I want to do this,” she said as she let him go. Holding her sword and dagger she turned to him. “It'll be good practice.”

Alistair looked at her a little uneasy. “Look, you're upset and I don't want--”

“To hurt me?” she asked, earning a wince from him. “I haven't been hurt that badly before in a fight-- well except Ostagar-- so, I'll be fine against my _friend._ ”

Alistair frowned a little. “Yes, but--”

She didn't let him finish before she suddenly used her cloak. Alistair tensed when he couldn't see her. As Atrina moved through the shadows, she smirked as she watched him go into a defensive stance, looking alert. _At least he's taking it seriously._

Wanda scoffed from the sidelines. “Atrina, this isn't funny!”

Atrina rolled her eyes as she moved silently around Alistair, who started turning in a circle, almost following her exactly. Narrowing her eyes, she found a weak point that made her grin. _Got'cha!_

She moved up to him, slipping past his sword and shield, almost fully in his arms. _If he just closed his arms around me, we'd be hugging..._ Holding her breath as she started to move in step with him. Her heart started to race at the close proximity to him, but she ignored it. Lowering down she focused on his boots. Quickly she loosened them as he paused to look around for her. Grinning to herself she stood back up. Glancing at him, she bit her lip. _He's so close... should I? Is that too much?_ she thought as she weighed the choice.

Deciding against her better judgment, she raised herself up on her on her tiptoes and blew a small puff of air onto his neck.

Alistair froze and looked down to where she was. Her cloak remained up as she started to move out of his arms. She successfully got away before her cloak fell.

Alistair looked up at her in shock. “Did you just...”

She gave him an innocent look. “I have no idea what you're talking about.”

He narrowed his eyes at her. “Right... Look, are you just going to keep toying with me, or are we doing this?”

“By all means, make your move,” she told him, earning a suspicious look from him.

He moved forward only for his foot to slip out of his boot. “What in-- Atrina!”

She laughed as he kicked off his boots. “You were wide open!” she teased before he came at her.

Quickly she dodged his blade and before striking him with her own. Her sword bounced off his shield. His sword swiped at her, causing her to jump back before crouching down as he grew closer. Moving to stun him, he blocked it with his shield, causing her to huff.

“Face it, Atrina, I know your moves,” he stated with a smirk as he stalked towards her.

Atrina sidestepped him and ended up behind him. “Seems you watch me too much in battle,” she teased as she touched her dagger to his side, ripping the tunic.

Alistair quickly knocked the dagger from her hand and moved to bash her with his shield. Eyes going wide, Atrina quickly backed out of the way, but he advanced on her. Holding her sword in front of her, his sword clashed against hers, trying to get it to fly out of her hands.

She huffed in annoyance. “You're only after my sword!”

“I already disarmed you partially!”

“Yeah, but not all the way,” she stated before suddenly using her cloak again.

“Blast it...” Alistair mumbled as she snuck around him.

Atrina smirked to herself as she moved behind him. Just as she was about to reveal herself and playfully put her sword to his neck, he turned sharply, causing her to step back.

“There!” he shouted just as he swung his shield.

Atrina moved to dodge, but the side of the shield hit her lip, causing her to let out a shout as she fell back. The cloak disappeared as she fell to the ground. She moaned and tears hit the corner of her eyes as she held her mouth.

She hardly heard Alistair dropping his sword and shield and running over to her. “Maker! Atrina, I am so sorry, I thought you were further away!” he said as he sank to his knees beside her.

Wanda appeared on the other side of her and forced her hands away from her mouth. “That was so stupid of you!” the mage stated, before wincing at the cut on the corner of Atrina's lip.

Blood was all over Atrina's hands and face as Wanda worked to heal her. The pain subsided, but it still felt tender. “...How bad did it scar?” Atrina asked in a small voice.

Alistair wiped the blood from her mouth before letting out a sigh of relief. “No scar... Maker, Atrina--”

“If you say sorry one more time--”

“What in the _Void_ is the matter with you two?!” Wynne stomped over to them with fury in her old eyes.

Both Alistair and Atrina winced. “We were just sparring--”

“Oh is that what this was?” Wynne asked with a huff. “There are precautions to take before doing such things!” She looked over them before crossing her arms. “I would just let you two deal with your injuries naturally, but seeing as Wanda has already healed Atrina, there's no sense in letting you have to be the only one dealing with it, Alistair,” she stated before sending a healing spell over the warrior. “Now, next time you do this, _think_!” With that, Wynne walked off.

Atrina looked over at Alistair. “When did I hurt you?”

“Hmm?” He looked down at his tunic to see the blood and the hole in his side. “Oh, must have been earlier. I didn't notice really...”

Wanda stood up. “Go down to the stream, both of you, and wash off. Geez,” she said with a huff.

Alistair helped Atrina to her feet before leading her to the stream. “Come on, before both Wanda and Wynne decide we haven't suffered enough."

“I didn't mean to actually cut you,” Atrina said once they were alone. “I only meant to tap you.”

He waved off her words. “It probably happened when I reacted to you being there, no worries. I'm the one that hit you in the face.” He frowned at her, looking guilty.

She rolled her eyes. “At least you didn't knock my teeth out.”

“Well, there is that,” he said smiling a little. “Still... I should've eased up more.”

She narrowed her eyes a little. “I knew you were holding back on me.”

He flushed a little. “Well, of course I was! You're my friend, I didn't want to--”

“Alistair,” she said, causing him to stop. She dipped her hands down into the water of the river and washed the blood off her hands. “I know, it's fine. I'm teasing.”

“Oh...” He looked at her before joining her side by the river. A sigh left him as he washed her blood off his hands. “Still... I'm sorry.”

A small splash of water hit his face in response. He looked at her to see her smiling. “It wasn't deep enough to scar. What about yours? Did you scar?”

Alistair wiped the water off his face with the sleeve of his tunic. “Doubt it, besides that wouldn't have been the worst one I've gotten,” he said only to receive a look of surprise from Atrina. “What?”

She tilted her head to the side as she stared at him. He fidgeted when she didn't say anything. “All right, I know I'm handsome, but you've--”

“You have scars?”

It was his turn to look surprised. “Um, yes, I do. What, you didn't notice when we were swimming that one night?”

Atrina blinked. _No, I didn't really notice because I was trying to be good and not openly stare at your chest..._ “Well, no. I was busy swimming and it was dark.”

“Oh, well, that explains it,” he said with a smile. “Do you want to see them? I don't mind.”

“Um, well--” Before she could think of a proper protest, Alistair had his tunic already off. She blushed when she was met with tan skin and a wonderfully sculpted male torso. _Oh... Bride of the Maker..._

He didn't seem to notice her flushed face or her silence as he started pointing out scars on his body. “This here,” he said, pointing to his left side, near where she had cut him earlier. There was a semi faded white scar, across his side. “I got this one from one of my fellow templars in training. The guy hated me, let me tell you. Fought him in a match to show off to Duncan and this guy almost skewered me through. The only reason he didn't was because the grand cleric was watching. Probably didn't help that I played a prank on him earlier in the month-- but that was only because he wouldn't ease up on some of the younger trainees.” Alistair rolled his eyes before turning around. Pointing to a scar on his right shoulder blade, he continued. “Got this one when I was newer to the chantry. Some older kids were chasing me and I jumped a fence, to get caught on a hook. Luckily it wasn't deep, but it's a pretty neat scar.”

Atrina took in all the scars he showed her. From the ones that were templar related and ones that were Grey Warden related. The game never showed him having scars, not until Inquisition, did she ever see him have a scar. Why did she think he wouldn't have gotten scarred during his templar training, or even before Ostagar?

He turned around to face her and raised his left arm, showing off a faded scar that looked like a bite mark. “Got this one while still in Redcliffe, shortly after Isolde took over the castle. One of the dogs wanted my food and... um...” he trailed off when he looked up at Atrina.

She had tears in her eyes as she looked down at the scar. “You had to fight for your food?” she asked as she softly touched his arm.

“Um, well, it was just the one time-- Atrina, no, don't cry.”

“How can I not cry?” She looked up at him as the tears started to fall. “You hadn't gotten a break at all--”

He raised a hand to her cheek, stopping her from continuing, and wiped the tears away. “I told you, my life hasn't been easy, but it doesn't matter now.”

She sniffed a little. “How can it not matter?”

He smiled warmly at her. “Because... I have you,” he said in almost a whisper, making her heart skip at beat at his words. “A-and, you know, Duncan brought me into the Grey Wardens, so I had them...” he added quickly before dropping his hand from her cheek. “So, don't cry about me, all right?”

She nodded a little as she wiped the rest of tears off her face. “Sorry...”

“Don't be sorry.” Alistair placed a hand on her head as he smiled down at her. “It... means a lot you care, actually...”

“Of course I care,” she said as she looked up at him. “You're my friend and you deserve happiness.”

He flushed at her words and it was interesting to see more than his face and ears turn pink. “I- I don't know about that...” Glancing away from her, he dropped his hand from her head. Quickly he picked up his forgotten tunic and looked at the hole in it. “Awe, I've got a hole...” he mumbled as he slipped his finger through the tear and wiggled it.

Atrina giggled a little before taking it out of his hands. “Here, let's get the blood off,” she said before working on washing the tunic.

Alistair watched her for a moment, before shifting a little. “Um, so...”

“Hmm?” Atrina asked as she looked back up at him. When he didn't say anything she looked back at the shirt. “Well, it's going to stain, sorry...”

“No, it's fine,” he said, reaching for it.

“...I can sew the hole if you want...” she offered as she handed him the tunic.

He blinked at her before shaking his head. “Uh, you don't have to.”

“I offered because I want to,” she told him with a smile. “I'm the one who sliced your tunic after all.”

“True, you have a point.” He offered his hand to her and helped her up. “I'll just... give it to you when it's dry, I suppose.”

She nodded happily. “Sounds like a plan!”

He chuckled lightly. “You know, I was thinking of getting Wynne to sew it.”

 _Oh yeah, he does get her to sew his clothes, doesn't he... Oh well,_ Atrina thought with a small laugh. “She'd do it too, she likes you more than me.”

“Oh, I doubt that.”

“Please, she gave you a bigger portion of food when she cooked last.”

“I'm a growing boy, I'll have you know!” he said jokingly as they walked back to camp.

“Uh-huh, riiight,” she said with a roll of her eyes. “You're how _old_ again?”

He sniffed as he raised his head in the air. “Only twenty, thank you.”

Atrina paused in her walking. “...You're twenty?” she asked as she looked at him in shock.

“Yes, I-- why did you stop?” he asked as he looked back at her. Giving her an amused look he walked back to her. “What, thought I was a different age?”

Staring at him, she nodded slowly. “I... I don't know why, but I thought you were maybe, twenty-five?”

“It's the stubble, isn't it?” he asked as he brushed the patch of hair on his chin. Feeling the rest of his face, he frowned. “Huh... I need to shave.”

Atrina giggled a little. “Could use a hair cut too.”

He ran his fingers through his hair with a frown. “Think so?”

“I could cut it, if you'd like?”

“You can cut?”

“Yes, I used to cut my cousins' hair all the time,” she told him. _Aaand I work part time at a hair salon back on earth..._

Alistair hummed a little as he thought it over. “Well, all right.” He grinned at her. “Would it be pushing it if I asked you to do my laundry?”

Atrina didn't hesitate to shove him to the side, causing the human to laugh. “Yes! I'm not your mother!”

His chuckling died down as he looked at her. “No, you're _definitely_ not that,” he said lightly, causing her to stare at him.

 _What does he mean by that?_ she thought before Grunt ran up to her, stealing her attention.

She glanced at Alistair as he moved into this tent to find a new tunic to wear. With a confused pout she looked at Grunt. “Am I over thinking things, boy?”

Grunt whined a little as he tilted his head to the side. Smiling at him she scratched behind his ears, earning a tail wag. “Yeah, that's what I thought.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo, I don't even know how I got this done, but I did. I wrote the second half of this chapter mostly today, and the characters surprised me. I have discovered that Atrina is more mischievous than I thought and that Alistair has a lot more scars than I previously considered. *shrugs* Seems like Alistair wanted to say something though, didn't it? I'm curious on what it was... Actually, I know what he wanted to say, but he chickened out. Maybe he'll say it later on? Who knows? (well, I do, but that's beside the point)  
> Thanks for sticking around to read! *waves* I love it when I get to conversations that never happen in game, hehe.  
> Oh, and there might be errors... sorry! I'll look over it again later and fix any mistakes <3~


	15. Not Ready For This Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taking place almost right after the last chapter, Alistair gets a haircut and Wynne decides it's time to have an important conversation with Atrina.

* * *

 

 

 _I still can't believe he's twenty..._ Atrina thought as she pulled out some shears. “Hmm, these should work...” she mumbled before walking out of the tent. _He's the same age as me... I really thought he was older. I wonder why I never looked up his age before? Or did I? Ugh, I can't remember..._

Alistair grinned at her from his spot on the log by the fire. “Hey, find something?”

She nodded as she opened and closed the shears for emphasis. “Yep! Though, I'm not sure where we even picked these up from...”

He shrugged. “Who knows? You and Wanda loot a lot, you know. I'm surprised we're not carrying all of Redcliffe Castle in our packs.”

“Hey!” Wanda called from her spot by the fire. She sat next to Zevran on a blanket. “We're not _that_ bad!”

Zevran chuckled. “Oh, those are actually from one of my former Crow brethren you had slain.”

Atrina looked at the shears in surprise. “Really? Was he a hair cutter part time?”

“Um... no.” He didn't further elaborate.

Alistair stared at the shears with wide and uncertain eyes. “Um... those have been thoroughly _cleaned_ , yes?”

“Oh, he cleaned them after every use, trust me,” Zevran said with a grin.

“That's the thing,” Alistair said as he looked back at the assassin. “I _don't_ trust you.”

“If I wanted something done to you, _Warden_ , it wouldn't be by your lady's hand, I assure you.”

Alistair rolled his eyes, but his cheeks were a little pink by his words. “I trust Atrina with my life.”

“Good, you shouldn't worry then.”

Atrina cleared her throat a little as she moved back behind Alistair. Guessing from how warm she was suddenly feeling, her cheeks were pink. He had said the words so seriously and without hesitation.

 _He trusts me... And this isn't just him trusting the Warden from the game... It's him trusting_ me _..._ she thought as she ran her fingers through his hair, trying to smooth it out.

He tensed under her hand before lifting his up. “Um, I have a comb...”

“Hmm?” she hummed as she looked at the wooden comb he raised to her. “Oh, thank you.” Combing out his hair she noticed how it was starting to cover his ears. “It's longer than I thought.”

“Yes, well... I _do_ style it,” he commented as he fidgeted a little.

“Stay still, I don't want to cut you by accident.”

“Right, sorry...”

Atrina combed his hair once more before pausing. “Leliana?”

The redhead looked up from tuning her lute. “Yes?”

“Could you play a little music? I know this is strange, but I work better with music playing in the background.”

Leliana smiled. “I'd be happy to.”

“Thanks.”

The moment a melody left the lute she focused back on Alistair's hair. Leliana hummed a tune and Atrina found herself humming along, even though she was pretty sure she was unfamiliar with the song. Alistair remained still for her and when she would gesture for him to raise or lower his head, he did so without question.

Moving to the front of him, she studied his hair for a moment, completely focused. She didn't notice his eyes watching her as she looked at him.

“...You're awfully focused,” he mumbled, causing a smile to come over her features.

“Well, I don't want to risk making you look ridiculous, do I?”

“He does that enough on his own,” Morrigan called from her place by the fire as she read her grimoire.

Alistair turned his head to glare at the witch and send a retort, but Atrina turned him back to face her. “Uh-uh, not while I'm working on you with sharp shears.”

He gave her a sheepish smile before letting her get back to work. “Sorry.”

“You're fine, hon,” she said as she focused once more. After snipping a little more and debating with how it looked, she turned to the others. “What do you think?”

Leliana giggled. “He looks a lot better. I had been wondering if he would ask you to braid it soon.”

“Oh, ha-ha,” Alistair said quietly.

“He looks much more like the Alistair we all know and love,” Wanda said happily, causing him to huff.

“Okay, that's enough teasing, thank you,” he said as he brushed the cut hair off his shoulders.

“Well, if I had a mirror I'd just ask you,” Atrina said, turning back to him with a grin. “Oh, hold still,” she said as she leaned down. “You've got a hair near your eye...” Closing the eye it had been near, Alistair stilled as she lightly brushed the strand away, before relaxing as she pulled back. “There! All good.”

Alistair nodded stiffly. “Um, thank you.” He gave her a small smile before standing up. “I'll just take a dip in the stream to get all this hair off.”

“Good idea,” she said as she stepped back and tried to brush off the hair that had migrated onto her.

“Looks like you'll be going after him,” Wanda said with a giggle.

“Actually,” Atrina began before pulling off the tunic she had on. Everyone stared at her in shock before it was revealed that she had another one on underneath. “Wore this one like an apron!” she said with a grin.

“Um, I'll be back,” Alistair said quickly before going into his tent. He emerged with fresh clothes and then left the camp.

“Did he seem a little off to you?” Atrina asked as she shook her tunic clean.

“He might have thought you were going to flash him,” Wanda said with a hum, causing Atrina to freeze. Without a word, Atrina threw the tunic at Wanda, hitting her in the face. “Ack! _Hey_!”

“Don't make awful jokes!”

“Oh, it's like I'm traveling with children,” Wynne stated with a huff, causing some of the others to laugh.

“Though, I think he was more surprised when you suddenly called him 'hon',” Leliana pointed out.

Atrina's eyes widened slightly. “Did I really?” she asked, tugging on a loose lock of hair. _Oops, I normally called the kids that when I cut their hair..._

“It was really cute,” Wanda teased as she tossed her back the tunic.

Atrina rolled her eyes. “Yeah, yeah,” she mumbled as she moved back into her tent to put her things away. _Going to keep these shears for the future. I might want to cut my hair at some point._

With that thought in mind she rejoined the others around the fire. Leliana played a few more songs as Atrina had her journal out, writing as she hummed along to the bard.

“Well, I'm back,” Alistair said as he sat down on the log next to Atrina.

Atrina glanced up at him from her spot on the ground and her expression brightened. “Oh! You shaved.”

He rubbed his now smooth cheek. “Yes, it was starting to annoy me.”

She smiled at him. “Glad you didn't get rid of your little patch on your chin, I'd have missed it.”

He fingered the hair on his chin. “I did trim it a little.”

“Looks good,” she said before giggling. “Though, you missed a spot on your neck.”

He clicked his tongue in annoyance. “Really? Where?”

“Well, come down here and I'll point it out,” she teased.

He huffed before sliding off the log to sit next to her on the ground. “All right, where?” he asked, raising his head a little.

Atrina set her journal down and turned more to him. Putting her hand on his jawline, she lightly ran her fingers across his skin. She noticed his breath hitched slightly as his jaw tensed a little. Licking her lips she forced herself not to glance at his eyes. _Why am I suddenly getting nervous? Relax, Atrina..._ she thought, but it didn't really help.

When her fingers brushed the longer strands of hair, she breathed out, “there,” before clearing her throat. “Here, I mean, just a few strands left behind.”

He hummed lightly before speaking. “Mind taking care of it? Don't exactly have a good reflection to use...” he said with a slight chuckle.

Atrina stared at his neck before blinking. “Oh, um, you sure?” she asked as she dropped her hand from his face.

He lowered his head to look at her. “I wouldn't ask if I wasn't sure,” he told her before pulling out a razor from his pocket. “Here.”

She stared at the old fashion razor for a moment, before having to remind herself that it wasn't exactly old fashion. _This is a modern razor here._ “Um, I've never used one of these though...”

“Feel more comfortable with a dagger?” he teased, causing her to huff slightly.

“Fine, fine, just don't blame me if you end up bleeding.”

He chuckled as she took the razor from him. “Noted,” he said as he raised his chin once more.

“Turn more this way,” she said as she guided him to where she wanted him. “That way I can actually see what I'm doing. It's gotten dark, you know.”

He chuckled lightly as he turned more towards the fire. “All right, better?”

“Much.” She grinned at him before leaning close to him. _Please don't let me cut his neck, please don't let me cut his neck..._ she thought as she raised the razor. Glancing up, she caught him watching her out of the corner of his eye. “Stop staring! You're making me nervous,” she stated with a huff.

He grinned at her before closing his eyes. “We don't want that. This better?”

She rolled her eyes with a small smile. “Hmm, I suppose.”

“Not much else I can do, I'm afraid.”

“You can shush for a moment,” she teased, earning him sticking his tongue out at her. Covering her mouth, she laughed into her hand. “Oh my gosh! _Stop_ , you're making this harder for me!”

“What? You don't want me to look at you, you don't want me to talk. I can't even let my tongue enjoy the evening air now?” he teased as he peeked a look at her.

“Do you want me to get this for you or not?” she asked as she pulled back from him.

“Fine, fine, I'll stop.” Alistair closed his mouth and remained still.

She looked at him for a moment, expecting him to move again, but he behaved. Shaking her head a little, she smiled to herself as she leaned close to him once more. Tilting his chin a little more, she carefully shaved off the last stubble on his neck. Moving around him, she double checked to make sure that was all he missed. “All right, all done.”

Alistair relaxed before popping his neck a little. Feeling where she shaved he smiled at the smoothness. “Thanks, I appreciate it.”

“No problem.” She handed him back the razor with a smile.

He accepted the razor. “You realize it was difficult _not_ to watch you, right?” he asked with a raised brow as he leaned back against the log behind him. “I mean, when you're focused, you make the cutest face.”

Feeling herself flush she shoved him lightly. “Oh, _please_!” she huffed as she turned back to the fire. Crossing her arms she leaned back on the log next to him. When she didn't hear the usual laughter from him, she glanced back at him to see him watching her with a smile.

Realizing he got caught staring, Alistair cleared his throat as he averted his gaze from her. They sat in silence as Leliana continued playing medleys on her lute.

Atrina felt giddy at knowing he had been staring at her, though at the same time, she felt a little panicked. _My hormones are just going crazy... yeah, that's totally it..._ she thought as she bit her lip a little.

Feeling something brush against her arm, she glanced back at Alistair to see him watching the fire. Deciding she was just imagining it, she yawned a little, suddenly feeling drained. _What, with sparring with Alistair and all, why else would I be tired?_ she thought silently before leaning her head against his arm. She froze when she realized what she did. “Um, sorry...” she mumbled as she sat up straight.

“You're fine,” he said softly, and she felt herself blush again.

 _Oh, this is getting ridiculous._ “I think I might head to bed early,” she said in almost a whisper. “Wake me when it's my turn to take watch?”

“Will do,” he told her, catching her eye. The smile he gave her suddenly made her feel weak. If she had been standing she probably would have sat down to avoid falling.

The longer she looked at him, the more her body grew warm, and suddenly she wanted to start swooning. _Nope! Nope, don't do that!_ she thought, scolding herself. There was no stopping the smile that appeared on her face, however, nor stopping how she shyly glanced away from him. “U-um, goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” he replied as he watched as she stood up.

Atrina felt his eyes follow her all the way to her tent. The moment she stepped inside, she let out a breath she hadn't realized she had been holding. “Maker... I'm in trouble...” she mumbled before shaking herself. Holding her face tightly in her hands, she glared at the makeshift desk in the tent, pretending for a moment that it was a mirror. “Get a hold of yourself!” she told her imaginary reflection. “You're over thinking things again!” she whispered harshly. With a light groan she fell onto her bedroll. “Why do I do this to myself?” she mumbled with a long sigh.

“Atrina?”

Her head popped up at the sound of Alistair's voice. “Um, yes?”

“You forgot your journal.”

Eyes going wide, she felt around for said journal, before jumping up. “Oh! I didn't realize,” she exclaimed as she opened her tent.

Alistair greeted her with a smile as he held up the book. “No worries-- and I promise, I didn't peek,” he spoke seriously as she took the journal.

Hugging the book to her chest, she felt a silent relief come over her. “I didn't think you would,” she said. “But, thank you.”

He nodded a before rubbing the back of his head. “You're welcome... um, well, goodnight.”

She gave him a bright smile. “'Night!”

As she slipped back into her tent she looked down at the journal. _Need to be more careful... if anyone other than Wanda reads this, they'll think I'm crazy..._

Opening it up, she looked where she last left off. A warm feeling came over her when she realized it was her writing about Alistair having scars and how he needed a haircut. _So different from the game... I know on the computer there were mods to have Alistair's hair look different as the story went on... but I like his short hair,_ she thought before rolling her eyes. “I remember what a computer is but not a phone?” she mumbled before putting the journal away.

Making sure the tent was closed, she stripped down to her smalls, and slipped under the covers of her bedroll. “Ugh, it's been so hot lately... I thought people said Ferelden was cold?” she mumbled, only to remember it being colder back in Ostagar. _Are the seasons changing? Damn, I haven't noticed... how long have we been here?_ she thought with a frown.

Choosing to not do the math right then, she rolled over, with hopes of falling asleep. _No more nightmares, please!_ she mentally begged, hoping for a night not filled with images of people dying or darkspawn.

 

Things seemed to slowly return to normal for Atrina as they continued to travel. Looking at the map, when they stopped for a break, she hummed a little. “We should be at the town that we said we'd meet Bodhan at in just a few more days.”

“Ugh, finally, think we can sleep in a real bed again?” Wanda asked from beside her. “Or at least get more blankets to make the bedrolls more comfy?”

Atrina nodded. “Know what you mean... so, how's things with you-know-who?” she asked as she folded up the map.

Wanda looked at her with a dreamy smile. “Good. We've talked about a lot in just a few days. Though, I got to say, it's strange not having a quest going on in between topics.”

“Well, this is going off of real time, so... it makes sense for us not to have to run into something every day on the road.”

“Yeah... I just thought there would be more, you know? It felt like it when we played...” Wanda whispered.

“Oh, that reminds me, completely random though,” Atrina began. “Do you remember what a phone is?”

Wanda scoffed. “Of course I do, it's...” She furrowed her brow in thought before looking confused. “Well, you... okay, so I don't remember.”

Atrina sighed. “I was afraid of that...”

“You're worrying too much again,” Wanda stated. “You and Alistair seem to be getting close,” she said with a slight singsong tone.

Atrina felt herself heat up a little. “It's not what you think.”

Wanda rolled her eyes. “Uh-huh, I'm actually surprised he's not next to you right now.”

Atrina huffed, though she silently agreed. Looking over to where she last saw Alistair, she watched him talking to Leliana. The bard held a slightly amused expression while the warrior looked a little nervous and embarrassed.

“I wonder if they're having one of those conversations that happens in the game?” Wanda asked, causing Atrina to glance at her. “You remember, right? The ones they would have while walking around certain areas of the game.”

“Honestly? I partially remember them, but not fully,” she said with a frown. “What do you think they're talking about?”

“Well,” Wanda began before they caught Alistair glancing towards them. “I say about you.”

Atrina scoffed lightly, trying to ignore how fast her heart raced. “Doubtful...”

Wanda rolled her eyes. “Sure, keep telling yourself that.”

“Okay, I think we rested enough,” Atrina stated as she stood up. “Let's get moving again,” she called to the others as she picked up her pack.

Wanda grumbled. “Why don't we have horses?”

“Alistair and I already figured we wouldn't be able to properly care for them.”

Wanda pouted. “Oh...”

They continued their travels before coming across a man who looked troubled. After telling them that he didn't need any assistance, however, he tried to pawn off a rod.

Atrina studied the man for a moment and the rod. “Oh...” she mumbled softly when she realized that it was Shale's control rod. _Found that fast..._

The man told him about the rod being for a golem (which Wanda and Atrina exchanged knowing looks at), and where they could find the golem. After reassuring them that the rod was free for them to take, the man went off to find his mule.

“You really want to keep that?” Alistair asked as he silently asked to look at the rod.

“Might come in handy,” she said as she handed it to him.

“Hmm... well, maybe a golem would be useful... I heard there was one in the war against the Orelsians,” he mentioned as he handed her back the rod.

“That's right, a mage named Willhelm had the golem,” Wanda added. “Though I don't think there are really any left out there. The dwarves stopped making them.”

“Well, Honnleath is back towards Redcliffe, so, we'll head by there later on, I guess.”

 

As the day started to grow darker they set up camp. Atrina had gathered up all the packs, the ones that didn't really belong to anyone, with the intent to sell what they didn't need. After setting up the makeshift desk in her tent, she got to work. _Ugh, we have so much stuff... Good thing we'll be going into town soon and meeting up with Bodhan..._ she thought as she made piles on what to keep and what to sell. _Best get it sorted before getting into town._ “Let's see... dagger? Sell. Wine? Oh, definitely keeping that...”

After some time she ended up with three piles, one to keep, one to sell, and a pile of things that she felt she was unsure if she should sell or not. The maybe pile was larger than the other two.

“All right, anything else in here?” She put her hand back in the pack. Feeling her hand grasp a small chain, she pulled it out, expecting another apprentice amulet. _When did I even pick up so many?_

Instead, she pulled out a silver amulet, adorned with an image of a flame. Upon closer inspection she realized it was Andraste's Flame and there were cracks all over the amulet. Atrina's eyes grew wide before she jumped up and bolted out of her tent. _How did I forget I had this?!_

“Alistair!” she called, causing him to pause in heading into the forest.

He had been about to go hunting with Grunt, wanting to give the mabari exercise as they found something to eat. Alistair turned to see Atrina running up to him from the other side of camp. “I would have invited you if I'd known you wanted to come,” he said jokingly.

Atrina looked up at him confused as she breathed a little heavy. “What? No, no.” She shook her head before taking his hand. Not answering his silent question, she placed the amulet in his hand. “Here, I think this is yours.”

He continued to look at her in confusion before he held up the amulet. Atrina bit her bottom lip in anticipation when she saw his eyes lit up at recognizing the jewelry.

“This... this is my mother's amulet. It has to be. But why isn't it broken? Where did you find it?” He looked at her in astonishment.

 _Yay! Another familiar conversation._ “Back in Redcliffe,” she answered with a smile. “It was in Eamon's office, on his desk.” Her smile fell when she realized she just admitted to stealing, again. “U-um, sorry, I just saw it when I was looking to see if I could find anything more about Genitivi... I didn't think about it much when I took it...”

“The arl's study?” he asked, ignoring the fact that she stole it as he looked down at the amulet once more. “Then he must've... found the amulet after I threw it at the wall. And he repaired it and kept it? I don't understand, why would he do that?”

“Well... maybe he fixed it for you?”

“And what? Was planning to give it back to me?”

Atrina shrugged. “Well, it's possible... he wouldn't have had it put back together then, right?”

Alistair looked down at the amulet. “I... suppose he might even have brought it with him one of those times he came to see me at the monastery... not that I would have given him a chance, as belligerent as I was to him,” he said, shaking his head before looking back at her. “I thought I had lost this to my own stupidity. I'll need to talk to him about this. If he recovers from his... _when_ he recovers, that is. I wish I'd had this a long time ago.”

“At least you have it now, right?”

He smiled softly at her. “Yes... at least I do.”

Atrina returned the smiled. “Here, let me put it on you.”

“Oh, uh, sure.” He handed her the amulet before turning around.

She slipped the chain around his neck and worked on getting the clasp to work.

Alistair glanced her over his shoulder. “You know... this kind of reminds me of Ostagar, you know, in the tent?”

She paused a little before smiling. “I guess it is similar, though I'm shorter than you, remember? And you were helping me with my breastplate, not the pendant.”

He chuckled a little. “True, and is that why it's taking so long?”

She thumped his neck at his comment. “Shush, you. I'm done.”

He turned around and lifted up the amulet to look at it. “Thank you, Atrina... I mean it.”

Giving him a soft look she placed her hands behind her back. “Don't mention it... I just remember you talking about it. Sorry I didn't give it to you sooner.”

“No, don't be. We were in the middle of things when you found it and had other things happening, so...” he said as he gave her a grateful look. “I can't believe you actually remembered me mentioning it. Wow. Huh, I'm more used to people not listening when I go on about things.”

Her smile turned a little shy as she giggled a little. “Well, I enjoy our talks, so of course I listen to what you say.”

Alistair blushed a little suddenly turning shy like her. “Same-- I mean, I enjoy them too, not that I listen to myself talk.” He chuckled nervously as he rubbed the back of his head.

Grunt suddenly let out a bark, feeling annoyed that they were taking so long, knocking the two back to the present. They looked at the canine before sharing a look and laughing a little.

“I guess you should get going before he starts dragging you,” Atrina teased as she crouched down to give Grunt some pets.

Alistair chuckled. “I wouldn't be surprised. So, uh...” he said, shifting from one foot to the other. “Would you like to come with us?”

Atrina looked up at him and smiled a little. “I'd love to, but I'm still sorting what we can sell to have a little extra money...” she said as she stood. “Catch something good, all right?”

He looked a little disappointed but nodded with a smile. “Will do. Come on, Grunt, you heard her, let's get something extra tasty tonight.”

Grunt barked excitedly as he bounced around them before heading off into the woods. Atrina laughed as Alistair waved at her before running after the excited canine.

“You're quite taken with each other, aren't you?” Wynne asked suddenly from behind, causing Atrina to nearly jump out of her skin. The older woman laughed a little. “Oh, I'm sorry, dear, I didn't mean to startle you.”

“Um, it's okay,” Atrina said even though she was mentally freaking out of Wynne's question. “What did you mean? Who's taken with whom?” _Why is this conversation happening all of a sudden?_

“You and Alistair, of course,” Wynne told her. “It's hard not to notice the doe-eyed looks he gives you, especially when he thinks no one's watching. It's almost too sweet for my taste, and I'm an old lady who should be making lace hearts and fuzzy blankets with animal motifs.”

Atrina let out small laugh. “What? No way, he doesn't give me doe-eyed looks. And I'd hardly call you the average old lady, Wynne. I can't see you doing that at all.”

“No, I won't be making socks with pom-poms for you anytime soon, but that's hardly my point. The fact that you haven't noticed makes me slightly worried... I've noticed your blossoming relationship--”

Atrina held up her hand stopping her from continuing. “I think you're mistaken... we're friends that just like picking on each other to pass the time. It's not anything serious.” _Please stop having this conversation with me! I've changed my mind, I don't want conversations that happen in game to happen now!_

“Does he know that?”

Atrina waved her off as she tried to keep her voice calm. “Of course he does! He's a grown man--”

“Who's lived in the Chantry for most of his life. Alistair is a fine lad, skilled in battle, but quite inexperienced when it comes to affairs of the heart. I would hate to see him get hurt.”

“Please, stop.” Atrina rubbed her forehead a little. “Don't have this conversation with me... I don't want to hear this, not _now_...”

“Oh? But you must hear this. If you plan to continue--”

“Wynne, I love you, you're an amazing person and mage, but _please_ , stop!” Atrina had to hold back from raising her voice.

Wynne stared at her for a moment, silently studying her. “Atrina, now you listen--”

“No, I will _not_ listen.”

“You will listen and you will like it!” Wynne raised her voice at Atrina, but the Warden refused to shrink back. “It is clear you are running from your emotions, but this is not a game to Alistair--”

“You are _wrong_ ,” Atrina said, refusing to hear her out. “He doesn't see me that way! We're friends, but don't you tell me he's in love with me!” she whispered harshly.

“Whether you like it or not, _he is_!”

Atrina shook her head. “I'm not doing this! Goodbye, Wynne,” she said, turning around and walking away from the mage.

“Oh no you don't! You get back here this instant, young lady!”

“Conversation is _over_ , Wynne!”

“It is _not_ over! We obviously need this conversation,” Wynne said, stalking after her.

Atrina's body was shaking as she almost broke into a run. “We're not having this conversation in the middle of _camp_! I refuse!”

“Then we will have it outside of camp! But we are having it, young lady!”

Wanda looked up from her conversation with Zevran when she heard the shouting. Watching her best friend and her mentor stalk off she realized what was happening. “Uh, Zev, I'll be right back,” she said, standing up.

“Oh? Going to try and stop the bloodshed?” he asked, looking amused.

“Yeah, something like that. Wish me luck.”

“Good luck, I think you might actually need it. Though, if you three start rolling in the mud, please, do not hesitate to call me for help,” he said with a smirk.

Wanda rolled her eyes as she laughed a little. “I'll be sure to call you,” she told him before she followed the two arguing women out of the camp. As she got closer to them she heard more of the conversation.

“You can't keep this up with Alistair if you're not serious! Even if you were, this whole relationship is doomed for tragedy,” Wynne stated as Atrina put her hands over her ears.

“Just leave me alone, Wynne! I'm a grown woman, let me walk away--”

“Oh, a grown woman? It seems to me that you're acting like a child.”

Wanda walked up to them. “Um, guys? Maybe we can tone this all down a little,” she said in a calm voice, trying to get them to take a breath.

“Maybe you can talk some sense into her?” Wynne said as she turned to the younger mage. “She keeps running away from the truth about Alistair's feelings for her and her own feelings.”

Atrina shook her head. “I am not! You are over thinking things!”

“Listen, child, you may be the leader, but that does not mean you have more experience--”

“This isn't about _experience_! It's about the fact that you are wanting this conversation with me and I don't understand why it is _happening_.”

“Atrina, sweetheart,” Wanda said as she moved over to the wide-eyed elf. “I know you're not meaning for things to happen--”

“He doesn't care for me like that,” Atrina said, cutting her off. “He can't, I don't... He shouldn't...” She felt herself start to shake even more as her heart pounded hard in her chest. “I just... I need some time to think, please let me have that.”

“Wynne, I think we should give her some time like she asks?” Wanda said as she turned to the senior enchanter. “This is all coming as a shock to her...”

“I still think she needs to hear what I have to say,” Wynne stated as she crossed her arms. “But... I do see that this is causing you a great deal of stress... We shall talk about it later, I suppose,” she said as she finally relented. “But don't think this conversation is over, young lady.”

Atrina sighed feeling herself starting to calm down. “Fine, Wynne...” She rubbed her forehead before moving past them. “I... I still need to get the stuff ready to sell for when we meet up with Bodhan... excuse me.”

The two mages watched her walk away before the elder mage huffed a little. “I don't understand it, why did she react that way?”

Wanda sighed as she shook her head. “She's... She thinks if she denies what she's feeling that it would save both her and Alistair from heartbreak... And I think she's convinced herself that Alistair couldn't ever feel the same way, even though deep inside she knows that their flirting is turning into love. I keep trying to tell her, but she keeps pushing it aside.”

Wynne shook her head. “I know that if they continue down this path that it will lead to heartbreak, but... if she doesn't tell Alistair, he's going to continue to fall for her as he is.”

“Honestly, Wynne, I think that's going to happen no matter what...” Wanda admitted, earning a sigh from her mentor.

“Well... I suppose I can talk to Alistair about this... but I don't think it will do much good,” Wynne said, earning a nod of agreement from Wanda. “Keep pressing her, Wanda, we need her to realize what is happening.”

Wanda let a sigh through her nose. “Yes, ma'am...” _Yeah, like that won't backfire... Atrina can be so stubborn at times!_ “Honestly, Wynne... I think something drastic has to happen before she will come to terms with everything...”

“Let's hope she listens to reason before that happens.”

“Agreed...”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! Another chapter, just a day behind the last one! On a little bit of a roll here. *dances*


	16. Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It seems it's not only Atrina who experiences nightmares...

* * *

 

The pit that was her stomach felt like it was going to consume her from the inside out. Atrina stuffed her face very unladylike with the left over food from earlier. Hearing laughter behind her caused her to pause.

Swallowing the food she quickly spotted the culprit. Alistair grinned at her before seeing the threatening glare come from the elf. Taking a cautious step back he held his hands up. “No, no-- I bruise easily!” he warned before taking off as she started charging towards him.

“Bruise easily, do you!” she called as she chased him around camp.

A laugh left him. “Yes!” He turned to her and slowed down. His eyes widened as he realized too late his mistake.

Atrina plowed straight into him, unable to slow down. She managed to knock the wind out of him as she tackled him to the ground.

“Oh-ohh.. ouch,” he coughed as he laid his head back. “You're tough for a small thing...” he said with a wince.

She breathed heavily as she raised up to look at him. “Yeah, well... don't tease me. Especially when I'm eating!”

A chuckle left him. “Noted.” He grinned at her.

Atrina rolled her eyes as she smiled. After catching her breath she finally noticed how she was straddling him, her loose hair falling around him like a curtain almost. Her heart raced as she blushed. “Oh, um...” She moved to raise off of him only to pause when she felt a hand on her cheek.

“Wait...” he said softly, causing her to freeze. Raising his other hand to her cheek, his gaze softened, as his eyes roamed her face.

Atrina felt her heart pounding in her chest as he raised up to her. Pulling her down a little, their lips met in a soft kiss before she pulled back a little. “Ali--”

He captured her lips in his once more, but this time with more force behind it. She followed his lead as he tangled a hand in her hair, pulling her closer to him.

Keeping the kiss going, Alistair raised them up, having her straddle his lap as his other hand wrapped around her waist. Her hands gripped his tunic tightly as she melted in his arms.

When they needed to catch their breath, Alistair pulled away, but placed his forehead against hers. Both his eyes and his smile were bright as he looked at her. “Well...”

Atrina raised her hands to his cheeks as she breathed heavily along with him. “Well...” she repeated only to make them both laugh softly.

“You should eat all the food more often then,” he teased, causing her to lightly smack his chest.

Her fingers touched his lips as she gazed at him lovingly. Suddenly the look of loving turned into one of confusion as she noticed black veins on his neck. “Al--” she gasped as she looked back up at his face.

His golden blonde hair turned white before falling out. His skin turned grey as his lips seemed to peel back to show off sharp and yellow teeth. His eyes became sunken as black ichor started to ooze from his eyes.

A horrified scream left her as she tried to get out of his hold. Atrina pushed him off of her before she suddenly sat up with her eyes opened wide.

Gasping for breath she looked around the dark tent before she kicked off her covers and hugged herself. “D-dream! It- it was just a d-dream!” she gasped as she felt her body shake.

Before she realized what she was doing, she was already dressed and out of the tent. A soft whimper left her when she realized that Alistair wasn't out there. She could see Sten walking the length of the camp, keeping a close eye out for any trouble. _He takes this more seriously than most of us do..._ she thought briefly before moving to Alistair's tent.

 _I'm just going to take a quick peek... I have to see him..._ she thought. Still she donned her stealth cloak before slipping into the tent.

It was just as dark in his tent as it was in her own, causing her to wince a little. She could make out his breathing, but it wasn't enough to calm her. Silently she crawled over to his sleeping form and lightly brushed her fingers over his face.

Feeling the smooth skin and the full head of hair, Atrina felt herself start to relax before she pulled her hand away. _Okay, he's fine... But this is creeper level... I'm just going to slip out--_

Alistair let out a soft moan, causing her to freeze all movement and thoughts. After a moment she slipped back away from him, only to pause again when he started mumbling in his sleep.

“N-no... Duncan, don't...” he mumbled softly, causing her heart to break for him. “B-Bastian... Tib... No!” His body started to thrash a little, almost as if he was fighting something. “Get'way from her!”

Atrina jumped back, landing on her butt, when he suddenly kicked off his covers in his thrashing. _Her? Does he mean--_

“Atrinano!” His words began to run together, but she knew what he meant.

Before she could stop herself, Atrina was at his side, running a hand on his shoulder, in hopes of waking him gently. Her cloak fell almost instantly. “Alistair, shh, it's ok--” A squeak left her when he grabbed her wrist and sat up suddenly. His grip was tight on her arm as he pulled her onto the bedroll.

“Don't!” he said before gasping.

“Alistair, it's okay!” she cried as she grabbed his shoulder with her other hand.

He stilled and all she could hear now was his heavy breathing. Faintly she could make out him looking at her with wide eyes. “... A...”

“You're okay,” she said softly. “We're in camp, it's okay...”

He dropped her wrist and, instead, grabbed her shoulders. “You...”

Her hands went to his cheeks, trying to help prove that he was awake and no longer dreaming. “Yes, me Atrina. I'm here. I'm okay.”

She felt him tremble before suddenly he was holding her in almost a bone crushing huge. His face was buried in her shoulder and she almost instantly felt her shirt start to become damp. Wrapping her arms around his head, she held him close as he cried.

 _I've always been the one to go to him if I had a bad dream... he's never come to me. The least I can do is comfort him like he does me,_ she thought as she softly rocked him a little as she rubbed his back with one hand and ran her fingers through his hair with the other. “I'm here... you're awake... we're safe...” she whispered, feeling his grip tighten slightly.

After a long moment she felt him start to relax. He raised his head, but didn't immediately let go of her. “I'm sorry, I...” He didn't meet her gaze.

“Shh,” she whispered as her hand went to his cheek, wiping the wetness from his face. “Don't be... you've comforted me several times...”

He looked at her for a moment before looking around as if realizing for the first time that they were in his tent. “I... what're you doing in here?”

Atrina felt herself blush and felt slightly panicked. “U-um, I woke up from a nightmare and then heard you outside,” she said quickly. “I wanted to check on you...”

He pulled away from her and she almost thought he was upset with her. In the dark, she could vaguely see him slip on a shirt, still not saying anything to her. Her fears were squashed when he gently grabbed her hand. Without a word he led her back out of the tent.

Sten had chosen that moment to make his way back over to the fire. At seeing the two of them, he stared at them, looking slightly baffled. “My watch is not over yet.”

“Right-- we know,” Atrina began quickly as Alistair stared at his feet looking a little red. “We just woke up though-- grey warden thing. We're just getting some air.”

He looked at them for a moment before looking satisfied. “Very well,” he said before going back to his patrol.

Both Alistair and Atrina let out long breaths. “If that had been anyone else...”

“Ha, no kidding...” Alistair mumbled as he ran a hand through his hair. Keeping a tight but gentle grip on her hand, he led her over to the fire. They sat close to one another at the fire, almost afraid that if they separated that the other would disappear.

After sitting in silence for a long moment, Atrina gave his hand a gentle squeeze. “Do you want to talk about it?” she asked softly, glancing at him. “I mean-- only if you want to...”

He squeezed her hand for a moment, but remained silent as he stared intensely into the fire. Feeling he wasn't going to say anything, she glanced away from him, as she stroked her thumb over his knuckles. His hand was so much bigger than hers. It was amazing how her tiny hand could fit into his larger one.

“It... it was Ostagar,” he mumbled all of a sudden.

She had to stifle a jump when he spoke. Not sure what to say, she just leaned against his shoulder, trying to give him the support he needed.

He relaxed a little before speaking again. “I was there... with them-- with Duncan and the other wardens... I saw them get struck down, all going down fighting til the end...” His jaw became tense as he spoke. Atrina rubbed his forearm, unsure how else to give comfort. He took a deep breath before continuing. “I couldn't save them... and then you--” he stopped short before he looked down at her. His expression almost looked completely broken. “You were fighting the archdemon... by yourself.”

Her eyebrows shot up as she looked at him. Not knowing what to say, she gave his hand a squeeze, silently urging him to continue.

He looked down at their joined hands. “I couldn't-- _I_ was supposed to be fighting it, but you-- you took my sword after I got hurt...”

 _Why is this sounding like a dream I had once?_ she thought with a small frown. “Why would you be fighting it without me?”

“I...” He looked back up at her with a devastated and confused look. “I don't know, but it was supposed to be me... We... we agreed-- at least I thought...”

Putting hand to his cheek, she silenced him gently. “It's just a dream...”

His eyes connected with hers. “It felt so real... More real than...”

“I'm okay,” she reminded him before dropping her hand from his cheek. “I'm not going to fight the archdemon without you.”

“...I don't want you to fight it at all.”

Her heart lurched in her chest, but she pushed it aside as she let out a small laugh. “Well, I hear it comes with the job of being a grey warden,” she joked lightly.

His lips only twitched a little. “Right...” he said with a sigh. Studying her for a moment, he opened his mouth, “what was yours?”

She tensed as the memory came back. At first she was going to look at the fire, but she kept thinking back to how Alistair looked in her dream, so she kept her eyes on him. “You,” she blurted out before blushing. “I mean-- it was us, ju-just acting silly.” She glanced away from him for a moment as she spoke. _Making out, we were making out..._ she thought as she felt herself heat up more. “And, um, you... I don't know, you almost-- I mean...” He gave her hand a long and gentle squeeze, telling her it was okay, she didn't have to finish. Looking at him she felt herself tear up a little. “You... you turned into like a darkspawn or something...”

His eyes grew wide. “What?”

She shook her head as she bit her lip. “I don't know... the taint, it...”

His thumb brushed her tears away. “...I never told you,” he whispered softly.

Tilting her head she looked at him with confusion. “What?”

His expression looked torn. “The... the taint... it's slowly killing us.”

She let out a humorless laugh. “I know that...”

His expression turned to one of surprise. “You do?”

She gave him a half smile. “Duncan said that there was a price, right? How long do we have?”

He swallowed. “Thirty years-- give or take.”

She nodded stiffly, her hand squeezing his. “No worries about dying of old age then,” she mused lightly.

“No... no worries about that...” he mumbled as he looked back at her. “There's... a Calling that every Grey Warden goes through when their time has come... It's... when you start hearing this song...”

Atrina nodded, already knowing. _I remember that at least..._

“It's how you live though, Duncan told me... not how long,” Alistair added.

Atrina smiled. “Wise words,” she said as she glanced back up at him. She froze when she suddenly realized how close they were.

He seemed to notice as well because she felt him tense slightly. Movement caught her eyes and she found herself staring at his lips as he nervously licked them.

 _Oh holy lips-- I mean Maker..._ she thought as she felt her stomach flutter furiously. Quickly, her eyes jumped back up to his, to see him looking lower. Her body heated up when she realized he was looking at her lips. _Back away! Move!_ the cautious part of her mind screamed at her, but her body didn't listen.

Alistair tilted his head down a little, his eyes returning to hers. She could feel the distance between them growing smaller and she felt trapped when his eyes half closed when he was just a breath away from her.

 _You should just go for it!_ she could hear in the back of her mind and swore the thought sounded too much like Wanda. Her eyes started to close in response as she held her breath...

Then suddenly, something wedged between them, forcing the two apart. Atrina's eyes opened wide before feeling a familiar wet tongue lick her cheek. “Eek! Grunt?”

Alistair groaned as he was force to let go of her hand. “Really, dog?”

Grunt growled lightly at him, only to be scolded by Atrina. “You don't growl at Alistair.”

The mabari whined and huffed a little. He spread himself into Atrina's lap and settled down. Giving him a small pat on the head, Atrina sighed before sending Alistair an apologetic look.

Alistair looked at the dog with annoyance and a hint of something else before seeing Atrina's look. Giving her a small smile he waved off her look. “Thank you, by the way...”

She returned the smile as she looked down at Grunt. “You do it for me, so...”

He raised his hand to her before seeming to hesitate. Looking at him curiously, she watched as something flickered across his face for a moment, before he settled with putting his hand on Grunt. “Yes, well...” He smiled at her before looking to the fire.

Atrina scratched Grunt behind the ears as she started to feel her heart finally calm down. _We almost kissed... we almost freaking kissed!_

Feeling his hand brush against hers, she glanced at Alistair to see him looking away sheepishly. “Uh, sorry...” he mumbled as he pulled his hand away.

They stayed in silence for a long time. Sten had Leliana relieve him of his watch and the bard looked curiously at the two sitting by the fire. “You two all right?”

They nodded. “Couldn't sleep,” they both answered, looking at each other in surprise. They shyly glanced away from each other.

Leliana's look turned to one of amusement. “Ah, I see... well, I do hope you two will try again soon.”

Atrina nodded, but neither her or Alistair moved to head to bed.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, it's short! I'm sorry! Only one thing, but it felt too good to not NOT post. (but you can forgive me because I've been posting almost all week, right? Right?) Sooo, yeah, here you go! It came at me last night when I was trying to sleep...  
> So, yeah, I'll try to get the next chapter up soon. What's going to happen? :O  
> Pssst, any errors I'll fix later, I wrote this all in one sitting, so... X'D


	17. One Step Forward... Two Steps Back...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A turning point for Alistair and Atrina.

 

* * *

 

It had been a couple of days since that night of the almost kiss and neither one brought it up again. Though that was mostly because they hadn't had a minute alone again since. Atrina had been working more and more with Morrigan on picking herbs and learning how to mix them. Alistair and Sten were sparring and training together, much to the surprise of others.

Atrina hadn't told Wanda about the encounter, almost afraid that her friend would find some place to throw the two and lock them in, until they actually kissed. Another reason was because she tried not to think about it.

She tried to write off that the encounter was a fluke, that it was because Alistair was vulnerable after his nightmare and that Atrina still had the kiss from her own dream still at the forefront of her mind. It was getting harder and harder for her to convince herself that Alistair only cared for her as a friend. Even she started to pay attention to how long he glanced her way, the smile that lit his face when she caught him watching her.

The longer it went on, the more painful it became for her. He wasn't supposed to fall for her, that hadn't been what she wanted...

Well, deep down she knew that wasn't true, but she never thought he would.

Deciding to put it to the back of her mind, she focused on looking over her journal by the fire that evening. As she read she felt shock go through her. _I hardly remember any of this... It's a good thing I wrote it down. I can't believe I'm forgetting so much..._ she thought, glancing over to where Wanda was.

She held in a sigh as she slightly shook her head. Wanda and Zevran were flirting once more. It surprised Atrina how quickly her friend had slipped into the role of a mage. _And into a relationship with our favorite assassin..._ she thought, recognizing the signs.

“What am I going to do with you?” she mumbled to herself. As she watched the couple, a soft smile came over her lips, at seeing her best friend happy. _Maybe she'll get a happy ending here._

“Well, I have a few suggestions.”

She jumped at the sudden voice right by her ear. Quickly turning her head, she saw her braid hit her fellow Grey Warden's face just in time. “Alistair!”

His held his nose as he backed up a little. “Ow! Okay... maybe you were right about the sneaking up on you thing...” he said, rubbing his nose. He had a sheepish grin on his face. “Sorry, didn't mean to scare you,” he said with a laugh.

Atrina couldn't stop her slight laughter from leaving. “Told you,” she teased lightly. “My hair is a dangerous weapon it seems. Maybe I should cut it?” she said, reminding herself that she had considered it before.

“No, I don't think you should,” Alistair answered quickly. “I-- um, I like your hair...” he added softly.

Feeling her cheeks heat up a little, she fiddled with her braid. “Um, you do?”

“Yes,” he breathed, causing her heart to race a little more.

 _Relax, Atrina... You're good..._ she thought before flipping the braid over her shoulder. “Um... was there something you needed?” she asked, biting her lip lightly.

Alistair blinked as if remembering something. “Yes! Right... um... could I talk to you?”

“Well, we're talking right now,” she pointed out.

“Ha-ha, very funny. I meant... in private?” he clarified with a serious look on his face.

Atrina's eyes went wide. _Is this about the almost kiss? Or something else?_ she thought mentally trying to run through scenarios where Alistair wanted to talk to the Warden alone. To make her slightly panic on the inside, she couldn't remember.

“...Atrina?” Alistair called softly, knocking her out of her thoughts. His eyes studied hers before glancing away. “Look, uh, if this is a bad time...”

“No!” Atrina blurted out, causing him to jump a little.

“...Is that a 'no' as in 'it's not a bad time, I'd love to talk to you,' or a 'no' as in, 'I really don't want to be alone with you right now, please go away'?”

She put her hand over her mouth and tried to stifle a giggle but failed.

“You know, you're not helping,” Alistair whined a little, causing her to laugh a little more.

“Stop doing that and I won't be laughing,” she stated with mirth in her eyes.

“What? What am I doing?” he asked, looking thoroughly confused while reminding her of a puppy.

 _Being absolutely adorable is what you're doing..._ she thought before standing up. When he just looked at her, still with a confused look, she shook her head. “You wanted to talk in private? Lead the way.”

“Oh, right!” Alistair jumped up to his feet. “Come on,” he said, grinning as he took her hand to lead her to the edge of camp, away from prying eyes and ears.

Atrina bit her bottom lip as she walked with Alistair. The idea of them being alone made her heart skip a beat.

 _I've been alone with him before, so why am I suddenly nervous? Oh, Maker, am I blushing again? Okay, just breathe. Let's see if I can remember what he would want to talk about... Has he asked to see Goldanna yet? Right, he did that when we were talking about where to go next. I gave him his mother's amulet just the other day, only for Wynne to start that conversation right afterwards-- Maker! Was he told about that? I hope not... Ugh, what is it? It's the kiss, isn't it? But I feel like that's wrong..._ She twisted her face in thought.

“You know, you make a really cute face when you're trying to remember something,” Alistair chuckled, causing her to blush lightly.

“Did you really bring me out here to tell me I'm cute?” she asked, realizing they had stopped walking. “And how do you know I was trying to remember something? I could have been daydreaming for all you know.”

“Weell, I asked Wanda one time if she knew what you were thinking about when you made that face and she said, 'oh, she's just trying to remember something.' And you do that face a lot, so how else would I recognize it?” he teased. “Besides, that's not your daydreaming face.”

She blushed a little, before glancing back towards camp, silently sending her friend a silent glare.

“And anyway, to answer your first question,” he continued, recapturing her attention. “I might have, though I'd rather say that in front of the others so they all know... and to make you blush more.”

Atrina scoffed. “You've been saying it a lot lately, actually,” she reminded, earning a wide-eyed look.

“I-- ahem, have I?” he asked as he rubbed the back of his head nervously.

She rubbed her lips together as she glanced away from him. “Um, yeah, just the other day...”

He swallowed before dropping his hand back to his side. “Well, you are, you know...”

Rubbing her arm nervously she looked back at him. “Are you sure you're not teasing me?” she asked as she narrowed her eyes slightly.

A soft chuckle left him. “No, I'm-- uh, I'm not.”

“Thank you, then,” she said, feeling completely nervous now. Suddenly he turned more serious and she couldn't help but tease him. “About to give a big speech?”

His serious face fell and another chuckle left him. “Well, _no_ ,” he said before shrugging. “Okay, maybe.”

She laughed a little before seeing his smile. “Well, forgive me for holding you up,” she teased, pretending to let him have the floor now.

He rolled his eyes as he tried to cool his features. Clearing his throat, he ignored the amused look she sent him.“So... all this time we spent together,” he started, sounding curious as he spoke. “You know, the tragedy, the brushes with death, the constant battles with the whole of the Blight looming over us...”

Atrina's eyes slowly went wide with realization. _Wait... wait, I know this part..._

“Will-- wait, you're making that face again,” he said suddenly cutting himself off.

Her eyes went wider. “What?”

“What're you trying to remember? And why is it when I'm talking?”

Panic filled her for a moment. “I-- sorry, just what you were saying was, um, reminding me of something...”

“No, that's not what that face was,” he stated. “That's not your 'oh, what Alistair is saying is making me think of, blah blah blah,' no, that's your 'wait, I remember this, but how did it go' face.”

She stared at him in shock. Since when could he read her so well?

“Okay, stop with the look of panic, all right? I'm not... I'm not going to force you to talk to me, you know...” he said softly, looking a little somber.

“I j-just...” Atrina looked away from him not being able to stand to see the look on his face. “I just didn't realize that I was an open book to you... Guess you're able to read me as I can read you now, huh?”

“Well... not completely...” he said, moving closer to her.

She looked up at him, her chocolate brown eyes meeting his copper brown. He raised a hand to her face, brushing a few strands of hair that had gotten loose from her braid, away from her eyes.

“There's still so much that I have yet to discover... that I have yet to figure out...” he said softly, his expression just as soft, as his finger tips lingered near her cheek.

Her heart skipped a beat as her gaze did not once break away from his.

“Um... right, will you miss it?” he asked, looking as if he came out of a trance.

Blinking up at him, she wasn't sure what he was asking. “What?” _Miss you? Yes, yes I will..._ she thought. _More than I think you know..._

“Everything I mentioned before we got sidetracked? The battles, the Blight, blah blah blah?”

A slight giggle left her and he gave her a 'really?' look. “Ha, sorry. Um...” She wasn't sure how to answer.

“Don't... don't over think it...”

“First thing that comes to mind then?” she teased lightly. “Well... assuming I even survive, I won't miss the Blight... but there will be other battles, yeah? Grey Wardens don't just cease to exist after a Blight goes away, right?”

“...Why would you say that?” he asked as he suddenly started looking a little upset. His hand dropped back to his side.

“What?” she asked not understanding why his soft gaze on her went away.

“' _Assuming_ I even survive,' of course you're going to survive!” he said, looking even more upset when he repeated the words. “You _have_ to survive, I need you,” he stated with his hands on her forearms now.

Her heart pounded hard in her chest. “...What?” _I suddenly sound like a broken record..._

“I, well, this isn't going as I planned.” He sighed before taking a deep breath. His thumbs absentmindedly drew circles on her skin, which sent little shivers through her. “All right, straight to the point, then. I know it... might sound strange, considering we haven't known each other for very long, but I've come to... care for you. A great deal.

“I think maybe it's because we've gone through so much together, I don't know,” he said before seeing her continue to stare at him in shock.

_I remember where this conversation is going now..._

“Or maybe I'm imagining it,” he said, looking away. “Maybe I'm fooling myself,” he mumbled before looking back at her, his eyes unsure and hopeful. “Am I? Fooling myself? Or do you ever think you might ever... feel the same way about me?” He leaned closer to her, coming to her eye level, his eyes searching for a sign.

Atrina's mind blanked as her heart pounded in her ears. He was confessing and she wasn't ready for that. Even with all the silly flirting and teasing one another, she didn't actually think he would feel that way about her.

“I...” She couldn't look away from his eyes. _I told myself to avoid this... I don't know what to do! Why am I so stupid?_ “I... don't know...” she said softly and slowly, trying to get words out that could possibly help her. “I mean... it's... it's too soon...” Her eyes moved down to his lips, forcing herself out of the trance he seemed to be putting her in. “You said it yourself... there's still so much that we don't know about one another...” _I'm lying... I'm completely lying to try and stop this... or slow it down until I know that it's safe to love him... Was this something said in the game? Maker, I hope he doesn't take it wrong._

“Well... is it,” Alistair said in a low voice, causing her eyes to reconnect with his. “Too soon for this?” he asked, raising his hands to her cheeks.

Her eyes went wide when his lips were on hers in a soft kiss. Shock went through her and her heart felt as if it would flutter out of her chest. Feeling her start to buckle, her hands went to his chest for support, her fingers gripping his tunic. Her eyes closed halfway as her body felt warm all over.

Alistair responded by wrapping an arm around her waist, giving her better support, while deepening the kiss slightly. Atrina's eyes closed in response as she felt herself become lost in the kiss. She tugged on his shirt a little, causing him to deepen the kiss even more. He didn't move his lips against hers, almost seeming afraid to do something wrong. Hesitantly he slowly moved his lips against hers and Atrina let out a soft squeak. Feeling him pull back, she almost followed his lips, but stopped herself.

Opening her eyes, she was greeted by the sight of him looking down at her with a big silly grin, his eyes shining with pure adoration. His thumb traced her cheekbone as the hand on her hip gave her a gentle squeeze.

Realization of what just happened dawned on her, causing her to put a hand over her mouth as her eyes went wide in shock. She felt Alistair slightly tense as her eyes averted from his.

“Atrin--”

With the hand that remained on his chest, she lightly pushed against him. His arms released her, but he didn't take a step back.

“I... I need to think...” she said suddenly, stopping Alistair from trying to speak again.

Her mind and her heart were both racing while feeling light headed. She felt as if she was being pulled apart as her heart and body wanted to just fall back into his arms, but her mind and her conscious wanted to get away. Was that how he acted in the game when that dialogue was picked?

“I'm... sorry,” Alistair spoke, his tone of voice making her heart ache.

Quickly, she shook her head. “D-don't be, please,” she begged. She didn't dare risk looking at him because she knew he had to be looking hurt and confused. “J-just, give me a little time... I...” she trailed off, unsure of how to finish her words.

“Okay...” he said softly, his hand hovering over her shoulder.

“Thank you...” she whispered. “I-I'm sorry.” Unsure if he actually heard her she sped walked back to the camp.

As she walked, her body felt like it was on fire. The feeling of Alistair's lips on hers lingered and her mind went to his smile and his voice, refueling the fire on her skin. Her own heart started to break at what she just did and she felt her eyes start to sting. _I'm about to cry._

She found herself standing in front of Zevran and Wanda. When she approached, Wanda looked up and smiled at her. “Hey, you missed it, Zevran was telling me about one of his missions--”

“Ah, Wanda, that's meant for _your_ ears only...”

“Oh, right, sorry,” Wanda said, laughing a little.

“Can I borrow you for a moment, Wanda?” Atrina asked, trying to keep her voice from shaking.

“Sure,” the mage said, standing up. She stretched a little before fully noticing the look on Atrina's face. “What's wrong? Why are you holding your mouth like that?”

Atrina hadn't realized she still had her hand over her lips. Was she trying to hide her lips, as if there was evidence of Alistair stealing a kiss? Or was she trying to keep the memory of his lips on hers from escaping?

“Did you and Alistair spar _again_? Here, I can heal--”

“ _Don't_ need healing, thank you!” she said, dropping her hand from her mouth. “Come on.” Atrina put a hand on Wanda's shoulder and led her to her tent.

“Geez! What's with you?” Wanda asked the moment they were in the tent. She used her magic to light a candle that was in the tent.

Making sure the opening was closed, Atrina turned to Wanda. “Alistairkissedme!” she exclaimed all in one breath.

Wanda gave her a funny look. “Want to try that again? But slo-ower?”

Atrina glared at her lightly, her body was starting to shake. “Alistair. Kissed. Me.” Her words were shaky as she spoke, but she was able to slow down enough to get the message sent.

Wanda's eyes widened in shock. “Are you _serious_? Tell me everything!” she demanded, getting excited.

“He wanted to speak alone, so I said 'yes', so we went to the edge of camp. He started talking about the expressions I make on my face--”

“And then he kissed you?!”

“No! Let me finish, please.”

“Oh, sorry...”

“Um... okay, so I didn't know what he wanted to talk about, I thought it was about the almost kiss the other nig--”

“You almost kissed the other night?!” Wanda all but shouted and Atrina flinched.

“Let the whole camp know, will ya!”

“Why didn't you tell _me_?” she hissed, causing Atrina to flinch once more.

“Not important right now!” she whispered back harshly. “Alistair didn't want to talk about that anyways. He started asking me if I was going to miss all the battles we had to do,” Atrina explained as she tried to calm down.

Wanda gave her a look. “It _is_ important! But really-- _that_ conversation isn't romantic, I know, because I remember it. How did a kiss come from it?” she asked with a slight scoff.

“I'm getting to that,” Atrina answered, trying to keep from getting angry. Her emotions were already all over the place just from that kiss. Taking a deep breath, she continued, “I mentioned that 'assuming I survive' and he got upset with the very thought of me _not_ surviving-- actually he said before that he didn't want me to fight the archdemon at all... Anyways! And then he confessed to caring for me. He asked me if I could one day feel the same...” she trailed off as her body became hot again just from remembering the look in his eyes.

“...Well? What did you say? Did you go with the usual response you go for in the game?”

Atrina looked at Wanda like she was crazy for asking that. “Of course I didn't! I don't... I _can't..._ Ugh, I told him that I didn't know how I felt about him-- which was a _lie_ \-- and that it was too soon.” She groaned as she undid her braid and started playing with her hair. “And then he just...”

“He just?”

Atrina blinked, not having realized she trailed off. “Oh, um... I- I thought he would be a little disappointed or something... I just assumed that answer would have him take a step back...”

“It didn't?”

Atrina quickly shook her head no. “I thought Cullen was secretly smooth in Inquisition... but I was so _very_ wrong...” she said before she started acting out what Alistair did. “So, he goes, 'well, is it too soon for this?' and took my face into his hands--”

“And then he kissed you?!” Wanda said, letting out a loud laugh.

“Shhhh!! Don't alert the whole camp!” Atrina shushed her while blushing from the reaction.

“Alistair is smooth as fuck!” Wanda said, continuing to laugh, but much quieter. “Wait, wait, wait! How did you react?”

Atrina winced as she looked away. “Well...”

“Don't tell me you ran away!”

“N-not technically... I panicked! I- I just told him to give me some time...”

Wanda rolled her eyes so hard that Atrina was afraid they were going to get stuck in the back of her skull. “Because of your 'quest to get to the real world' crap? I still say we're in a coma, dreaming,” Wanda stated with a nod, refusing to relent on that fact. “So why on earth would you do that?”

Atrina rubbed her face with her hand. She didn't really feel like arguing with Wanda again over the subject on if what they experiencing was real or not. “You're not _helping_!” she blurted out as tears finally formed in her eyes. She covered her face with her hands as she sobbed. “Wanda... what am I going to do?”

“Awe, come here.” Wanda opened her arms for her tiny friend and Atrina took the invitation. “I'm sorry...” she whispered as she hugged her tightly.

“I- I told myself I wouldn't get close... How could I be so stupid and just _pretend_ that what I said and did, didn't matter?” Tears were falling from her eyes now as she clung to Wanda's robes. “Why did Wynne have to be right?”

“Shh, I know... but let's face it, Atrina, you'll always love Alistair...” Wanda said before hesitantly adding, “maybe you should just take the plunge?”

She opened her eyes at the thought. Could she really? What if it led to more heartbreak? The image of Alistair becoming king flashed in her mind. “I... I just don't want to lose him...” she mumbled as she held her tightly

“You're not going to lose him! You know you can keep both you and him alive so you can be together,” Wanda reminded her, rubbing her back.

Atrina pulled away. “That's not what I mean... I mean.” A sigh left her. “Why couldn't Older Alistair have given me more to go on?” she said suddenly with a loud groan. “I don't know how else to do things! I only know how to make him king, I can't even remember how it's possible to keep him a warden without being banished or killed at the Landsmeet... Is Loghain the answer?”

Wanda gave her a quizzical look. “What do you mean?”

A sigh left Atrina as she tugged on a lock of hair. “I mean... Loghain might have to live for Alistair to be safe.”

“Um, are you sure that's how it goes?”

“I don't know! That's the thing,” Atrina said with a sigh. “Tell me what you would do if you were in Anora's shoes? Would you let your father die or would you kill the one claiming to be the rightful heir to the throne? Things have already been different from the game, so we can't just assume everything will be the same in the end...”

“I... you have a point... but won't Alistair leave?”

Atrina groaned as she pulled out her journal. Looking it over, she growled before slamming it shut. “I don't know! I've never done a play through where Alistair wasn't king and Loghain wasn't dead! I never looked up how to do things differently!”

“Atrina, breathe,” Wanda said in a calming voice, trying to stop her friend from having a panic attack. “I feel like I read somewhere that he gets angry and leaves if you let Loghain live...”

She started to shake as she held her journal tightly to her chest. “I- I really don't know what to do...”

“Look, don't worry about it now,” Wanda said, putting her hand on her shoulder. “Maybe you can convince Alistair it's a good idea to keep Loghain alive... But, the landsmeet is ways off anyway, so we have time. And, besides, we still have to get Ogrhen and Shale.”

Taking a deep breath she nodded. “Right...” Atrina laughed a little at the thought of the last two companions. “Yeah... that's going to be fun. Almost makes me wish we went ahead to Ozammar...” she said before shaking her head. “Before we can get them, however, we still have to actually get to Denerim to find Genitivi... And before _that_ we need to get the Dalish to agree to help with the Blight.”

“Yeah, the werewolves won't be fun to deal with either...” Wanda said before noticing the surprised look on Atrina's face. “What?”

“You... you said werewolves...” Atrina said as she continued to feel confused. “What... what werewolves?”

Wanda's eyes widened. “Wait, you don't remember? The werewolves that are the reason the Dalish are still near the Bracillion forest?”

Atrina looked away from her as she tried to think about it. “No... I don't, I only remember that they have something going on...”

“Oh dear, your memories are changing more and more... I know mine have been also, but I didn't think you would forget about the werewolves.”

Atrina's eyes widened. “Maker, that's what that dream was about!”

“Dream? What dream?”

“Before we went to the Circle, I had a nightmare about Alistair, and there were these elves that were there-- they must have been the Dalish!”

“Wait, what happened to Alistair?”

“H-he... he was bleeding, really badly... I... wrote it down.” Atrina flipped through her journal before finding the page. “Here! See?” She handed the book to Wanda, letting her read it.

Wanda skimmed through the pages before looking up at Atrina in shock. “I... I don't remember that happening in the game,” she said with a frown. “No one got hurt like that, only the Dalish elves did.”

“So... maybe it was just a dream then? Not something from some past life?”

Wanda's frowned increased. “Well... I don't know.”

Atrina took the journal and ran her hand over the cover. “...Maybe I shouldn't bring Alistair with me to meet the Dalish...”

“He's not going to like that,” Wanda stated, earning a wince from Atrina.

“I know... and he might think it's because of tonight... But it isn't... I have to keep him safe...”

Wanda sighed. “I still say you should try with him...”

Atrina held the journal tightly to her chest. “He deserves better...”

Wanda rolled her eyes. “Oh please, you're amazing and you know it! He won't love anyone _but_ you.”

“He might, you don't know...”

“Did Older Alistair?”

Atrina winced once more. “Good point...”

“You're still not going to take the plunge, are you?”

Atrina sighed. “I don't know... I need to think about it...” she said, feeling backed into a corner.

“Good, at least do that. You owe him that much,” Wanda stated, earning a small nod from her. “Now, I know you're upset, but Zevran and I were in the middle of something, so I want to check back with him. I'll be back afterwards though.”

Atrina nodded. “All right... but don't worry about coming to check on me...”

“Are you sure?”

She nodded once more. “Yeah, goodnight, Wanda.”

“Well, okay... Goodnight,” Wanda said as she left the tent.

Atrina let out a sigh as she moved to her bedroll. Looking around the tent, she spotted the rose Alistair had given her, sitting in a vase of water. A soft smile lit her face as she reached for it and touched the petals.

“ _I've come to... care for you. A great deal.”_

His words echoed in her head. “I've come to care for you too... so much more than I meant to...” she whispered softly before laying down on the roll. Silently she wondered if Alistair made it back to camp yet.

 _Should I check? That might be too much after running from him like that... Ugh, I can't_ believe _I did that! Not only did I hurt myself, I'm_ positive _I hurt him... Maybe I should check on him..._ Sitting up she crawled to the entrance of her tent and peeked out.

Alistair walked back into the camp, looking forlorn and rejected, making Atrina's heart ache. _I did that... Oh, Maker, I never meant to... I'm so sorry._

When he saw the others he put on a fake smile. He asked a question that she couldn't hear over the fire. Wanda nodded to Atrina's tent, making her eyes widened. Before Alistair could look towards the tent, Atrina quickly closed the flaps and backed away a little.

 _Maaaybe checking on him is a bad idea..._ she thought with a frown as the memory of the kiss suddenly came back to her. Letting out a soft groan, she hung her head. _What am I going to do now?_

Tears splashed onto her legs before she furiously wiped her eyes. “I don't deserve to cry...” she whimpered before a soft sob left her.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so... this scene right here, was the first one I wrote for this fanfic... Right after getting that scene in my at the time current play through with Atrina... wrote this scene earlier this year, in fact... It has been waiting... waiting for its turn...
> 
> Though, things changed in it because of how the story itself has progressed. Atrina was originally more in shock than upset with herself... Which, obviously, doesn't work anymore. Originally there wasn't going to be an almost kiss scene that the previous chapter had.
> 
> Alistair and Atrina had other ideas.
> 
> Anyways, so, I hope you like this. Let me know what you think, yeah? I love hearing from you! I love seeing and knowing people are interested in this! :D
> 
> Now, I might disappear for a little bit because it is now Alistair Appreciation Week! *dances* I'm posting little ficlets (or whatever they're called? One shots? Idk) all week on my tumblr, and they all star THE Alistair! ;D
> 
> You can find my tumblr here *pushes link into view* and follow the tag #alistair appreciation week, and you will see ALL the goodies that is Alistair centric! *dances* That man needs more love I tell you... Okay, ramble over now XD  
> https://angels767.tumblr.com/


	18. Advice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two days after confessing, Alistair finds that traveling is harder with Atrina avoiding him. A talk with her helps the start of fixing things. He also gets a little advice from Zevran...

* * *

 

 

The days were spent traveling as Alistair found himself no longer having someone to talk to. Atrina avoided him and his eye now, and it hurt more than her reaction to his confession the other night. _Stupid Alistair... ruins things again,_ he thought bitterly.

The kiss haunted him both in his dreams and in his waking thoughts. The feel of her responding and pressing against him... it was hard to shake off. At times when he dreamed the kiss progressed more, making it where when he woke up, his heart ached at realizing it was just a dream.

Even though she had left him quickly the moment he gave confirmation on giving her more time to think, he wasn't upset with her, and wished she would talk to him long enough for him to tell her. He hadn't wanted this to affect their friendship-- at least in a bad way. He'd be willing to give her all the time in the world if she would just look at him again without the sad eyes.

“What's happened between you two?” Leliana asked him in a hushed tone when she joined his side.

He glanced at her as they walked before looking at the ground. “I... I don't know what you're talking about...” he mumbled, forcing himself not to glance to Atrina, who walked of them. The elf stayed close to Wanda and Zevran.

It twisted his stomach to see her spending time with the assassin, but even more so when she would spend time with Morrigan. The past two mornings Atrina would be with Morrigan, chatting and laughing lightly, as they left camp to collect herbs. How anything the witch said could be funny he'd never know.

“...You two were almost inseparable, and now you hardly glance at each other, let alone speak,” Leliana prodded.

“It's... nothing, leave it,” he stated, sounding a little cold. He didn't want her knowing his business or Atrina's.

The bard frowned. A sigh left her before she stepped back from him. “All right...”

He didn't mean to be rude to her, but he was still having trouble processing what happened. Had he read Atrina wrong? He had asked Leliana before on what he could do before he confessed how he felt. He had never done anything like that before, but he felt confident when they had almost kissed that night he had the nightmares. Had that been a mistake? Did he interpret the whole situation entirely wrong?

 _The nightmares..._ he thought with a frown. Thinking back to them, it had grown harder for him to remember the one with Duncan, Tiberius, and Bastian, but the one concerning Atrina stayed clear in the back of his mind. It was strange, but every time he let his thoughts linger on it, he felt he was _there_ , amidst the carnage and destruction. He could almost smell the blood in the air with the scent of the taint mixed in. Fear went through him as he watched helplessly as Atrina ran at the archdemon...

“...Alistair?”

A sharp gasp left him when he was brought out of the memory. Looking down, he felt shock course through him when he saw Atrina standing in front of him. Mentally he shook himself. She wasn't fighting the archdemon... about to die. They weren't in the middle of battle, but on the road, still traveling. He felt relief come over him at the realization before he gave her a faint smile. “Uh, yes?”

Atrina looked at him with concern and he felt his heart pound hard. “...I... I know I don't have the right to ask, but... are you okay?”

He looked at her in surprise. “Of course you have a right to ask.”

She flushed before glancing away, looking guilty. “No... I don't.”

Not being able to help himself, he placed his hand on her head affectionately. “Atrina... you're my friend,” he said as she looked up at him. “You... I don't want what happened to affect that...”

Tears collected in her eyes as she looked at him. “B-but... I hurt you.”

He shook his head. “The only thing that hurts is that we're not talking like before...” he whispered. Part of him was lying and he hoped she wouldn't see through him in that moment.

Atrina wiped away the tears that had started falling. “I'm sorry...”

Alistair dropped his hand from her head. “Don't be sorry...” he whispered before opening his arms up, silently beckoning her to him.

She looked up at him with bright eyes and a watery smile before almost dived into his arms. A light chuckle left him as he wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. “That's my girl...” he mumbled before blushing when he realized what he said.

Instead of jumping back from him, like he expected, she snuggled deeper against him. He almost breathed out in relief, but kept it back. Maybe she hadn't heard him?

One thing he decided he hated in that moment was that he was in his armor and couldn't really feel her against him. When she pulled back and smiled up at him, he decided that it didn't matter that they had hugged while wearing armor, seeing her looking happy again was all that mattered.

“You still didn't answer my question though,” she reminded as she tilted her head. “Are you okay? You looked... um, I guess distraught might be the word.”

He opened his mouth to answer, but closed it when he wasn't sure what to say. “I think... do you remember the nightmare I told you about?”

Her eyes widened for a moment. “Which one?”

“With you and...” He looked down at the ground as an unsettling feeling came over him. “I keep... I remember it a lot more clearly than most dreams,” he told her before looking up at her.

A look of confusion was on her face. “Me fighting the archdemon?”

He nodded. “Right... I keep... I don't know, it's just strange to me.” He rubbed the back of his head. “I mean, it felt _real_...”

She took his hand in hers and gripped it tightly. “I know... Don't focus on it though, okay?” she said, giving him a sympathetic smile.

Giving her hand a squeeze, he nodded. “Right, I'll--” he began but was cut off by a shout.

That was when he noticed that it was just the two of them, the rest of the group having gone on ahead of them. Alistair and Atrina stepped into action, releasing each others hand, to grip their weapons instead. They ran to where the rest of their comrades were and found most of their comrades trapped in giant spider webs.

Sten and Grunt seemed to be the only ones that not trapped as they fought off the large arachnids. Alistair charged into the fray as Atrina worked on getting their comrades free.

By the time the spiders were killed everyone was exhausted. Alistair breathed heavily as he sheathed his sword and placed his shield back on his back. “Well... that was unexpected.”

Leliana let out a disgusted sound. “I think I have webbing in my hair.”

Wanda took her hair out of her ponytail and tried to comb through the webs. “Ewww... Atrina, can we _please_ get to the village today? I need a bath!”

“I think we all do,” Atrina said as she tried to wipe off webbing that had managed to stick to her. “Especially our warriors.”

Alistair looked down at himself and wrinkled his nose at the sight of spider blood. “You would be right...”

Grunt barked before shaking himself, causing the spider ichor to splatter on everyone within range. “Correction,” Atrina began as she stood still with her arms to her side, trying not to gag. “We _all_ need baths badly.”

“Might be best to clean up before going into town? We're still near the river.”

Wanda pouted. “I want a hot bath...”

“Beggars can't be choosers, Wanda,” Atrina said with a small smile. “Besides, we get cleaned up out here, the inn might have baths in the rooms.”

“Allow me to help you get cleaned up, my dear Wanda,” Zevran said as he came over to her.

Wanda's eyes widened in surprise before a giggle left her. “Oh, I suppose.”

“Excellent,” Zevran said as he rubbed his hands together with a grin. “You seem so tired, maybe a massage shall help, yes?”

Alistair noticed the excited look Wanda sent to Atrina and how the elf grinned with a roll of her eyes. Giving her a curious look when Atrina glanced at him, she blushed and shook her head. “All right, let's go get cleaned up and then we can get to the village. We all could use a real rest.”

 

After everyone was cleaned up, it started growing dark by the time they made it to the town. The inn they arrived in only had three rooms available that had two beds.

“Zevran and I can share a room with a single bed,” Wanda said, still glowing from her activities with Zevran in the river.

Alistair had to force himself not to grimace or blush when he thought about what they did. _I can still hear the sounds..._

Atrina gave Wanda a look before sighing “Fine with me...”

The other room arrangements were easy: Alistair with Sten, Leliana with Wynne, and Atrina with Morrigan.

“But...” Wanda began as they started heading towards their rooms after being told they were ready. “Shouldn't you two share a room?” she asked as she looked at Alistair and Atrina.

Alistair's eyes went wide with a slight blush on his cheeks. He looked to Atrina to see her blushing as well and looking slightly horrified. _Well,_ that _makes me feel better._

Wanda rolled her eyes at their reactions. “I mean you two have those nightmares, right? You don't want to wake your roommate.”

Alistair shifted on one foot. “She... she has a point.”

Atrina turned to him in surprise before nodding slowly. “Yeah... okay, you're right.”

“But, if you mind--”

“I don't,” Atrina said softly.

“It's settled,” Wanda said with a grin. “Goodnight, everyone!”

Wynne looked like she wanted to say something about the new arrangement, but Leliana ushered her off. Morrigan and Sten didn't even bat an eye at the new set up and it made Alistair wonder if they had shared a room before...

 _Ugh, that's worse than Wanda and Zevran..._ he thought before shaking his head.

“Well, let's go, roomie,” Atrina said, with a nervous laugh.

Maybe it was because they had just started talking again, or that his feelings for her were making him feel that way, but Alistair was surprised that he was nervous. He shouldn't be, there wasn't any reason to be. They weren't sharing a bed and they had changed in front of one another before, have even swam in their small clothes together. “It'll be nice to sleep without fearing being ambushed,” he said as they entered the room. Grunt quickly ran in front of him, forcing him back a little. “Hey!”

Atrina laughed a little as Grunt jumped onto the bed furthest from the door. “Down, boy, wait for me to get in there,” she said, making him get down before glancing back at Alistair. “Same. I might just pass out the moment my head hits the pillow.” She tossed her bag onto the floor in front of the bed.

“Wouldn't that be nice?” he asked as he put his stuff down and started taking off his armor. Glancing up at her, he saw her quickly avert her eyes from him, her cheeks pink. Feeling his own cheeks turn red, he looked away from her as set his breastplate down in the corner. His heart beat fast at the thought that she was watching him for a moment. It was almost ridiculous how he suddenly felt more aware of her being in the room with him.

Silently they both turned from each other and changed. Alistair remained in his trousers and had just taken off his shirt for the night. He sat on the bed as he could hear Atrina taking off the armor she had gotten from Redcliffe. _That wonderfully, tight fitting..._ He shook the thought from his head.

“All clear.”

He looked back at her and had to stop himself from grinning. Atrina sat on her bed, wearing his tunic and shorts, as she pulled her hair out of her braid. She glanced at him and tilted her head to the side. “What?”

“Uh...” he said before chuckling a little as he pulled back the sheets on his bed. “It's nothing.” _Does she wear that every night?_ he thought, feeling amused. It was hard to believe she still didn't realize it was his.

He caught her eyes lingering over his chest and Alistair smiled at her when she looked back up at him. “What?” Was it bad that he felt a little pride when he saw her cheeks turn pink?

“Um, nothing...” she said as she turned away. “Here, Grunt.”

The mabari happily jumped into her bed and curled up at the foot as Atrina got under her covers. Alistair turned over to face her and smiled as she snuggled under her covers. “Goodnight.”

She smiled back at him. “Goodnight.”

Alistair reached up and blew out the candle on the nightstand between them, casting the room in darkness.

 

The next morning was spent in the marketplace, where Atrina sold off the extra things they had accumulated during their travels. Alistair tagged along, helping her with carrying the items. Wanda and Zevran browsed the wares nearby.

After they were done haggling on prices to get more for their things, Wanda dashed up to Atrina, showing off a new bracelet Zevran had gotten for her. “Look at what he got me!”

Alistair watched with interest as Atrina's eyes went wide with awe. “Oooh, that is so pretty!”

 _I could get her jewelry,_ he found himself thinking before glancing at the nearby stand with jewelry. A frown came over him. _I don't even know what she would like... a necklace? She already has one. A bracelet like what Wanda got? That feels like copying. Earrings? Does she even wear those? I've never seen her wear anything like that._ He almost considered a ring, but instantly thought against it. _Maybe I won't get her anything..._

“So, where to now? We still have time before meeting up with the others,” Atrina said, bringing him out of his thoughts.

“Oh, uh-- well, I saw a library nearby--”

“Really?” Atrina's eyes lit up. “Can we go there?”

He looked at her in surprise. _That's right... she likes books,_ he thought before smiling. “I don't see why not.”

She grinned brightly. “Let's go!”

As they walked into the library, Atrina gasped in wonder at the many shelves. “Wow! For a small town they have a big selection!”

“Not as big as the Circle's,” Wanda commented. “But let's see if they have anything good.”

They grinned at each other before taking off to look around, leaving Alistair and Zevran behind.

A sigh left the human before glancing at the elf next to him. “Seems you and Wanda have gotten close,” he commented lightly.

Zevran turned his eyes to him and gave him a smirk. “Ah, yes, seems that way, doesn't it? She's actually been the most welcoming into your little group-- besides your fellow Warden, of course.”

Alistair rolled his eyes. “You're only here because Atrina is a good person, you know.”

Zevran's smirk fell into a half smile. “I am well aware. She's already given me a talk about if I should ever hurt Wanda, I would find myself in little pieces.”

A chuckle left Alistair. “She is very protective of her.”

“Aye, as Wanda is of her.”

It felt weird to be having a conversation with the assassin. “Well... might as well look around...” he said before walking off.

Alistair had read a few things in his life, besides the books he had to study while training to be a templar. Though it was only books that the Chantry approved of. As he walked through the library he discovered that there were more genres of books than what he was used to. _I'm not going to be able to find anything for her... I don't even know what she actually likes to read..._

Sighing, he started to walk aimlessly through the rows of bookshelves, with no real destination or idea of what to even look at. When he found himself in the Orlesian section, he looked around before realizing he was further back into the library than the rest were.

 _Ah, well.... they won't leave without me. Can't believe this library has an Orlesian section..._ he thought, before grabbing a random book off of the shelf next to him. _Maybe I'll get lucky and the first thing I grab will be good to give her._

Flipping it open, he glanced at the pages, before suddenly feeling himself heat up. Closing the book, he looked at the spine.

 _The Game of a Special Variety: In and Out of the Bedchambers _ was the title of the book. His eyes widened more. _Nope, definitely not something to give her..._

His mind went south as he stared at the book in his hand. He felt a little twitchy as he fiddled with it. _I should just put this back..._ he thought, but somehow was failing to do so.

Atrina suddenly came to his mind. Closing his eyes for a moment, his mind went back to the kiss they shared. So brief, but so special to him. His memory shifted to when he saw her in her small clothes before they swam. Feeling his body heat up, arousal wanting to take root, he opened his eyes before his imagination could suddenly take over. He couldn’t think about her like that, at least not in the middle of a _library_!

Looking back down at the book, he felt his mouth go slightly dry. _If we ever... I don't want to be all hands._ His body felt unusually warm as he found himself wanting to reopen the book. _Maker.... don't strike me down for this..._ he thought before looking over his shoulder.

Seeing no one else around, Alistair opened the book back up. Instantly his face turned a deep shade of red as he studied the pictures. A couple of positions made him wince slightly just by looking at them.

“I didn't think it could bend like that...” he mumbled under his breath.

“I would not recommend that position until you become _extra_ limber. Wanda and I happen to favor the position just below that one, however. We tried it just last night.”

Alistair quickly snapped the book closed and turned around to see Zevran standing next to him. The human hid the book behind his back. “W-what?”

“There is no need to be flustered, but I can give you some tips on how to romance her into those fascinating positions,” the elf stated, smirking at Alistair's red face.

“Uh-- no, no, I'm good, thanks...”

“I insist,” Zevran said. “Now, you must remember the erogenous zones. There are certain places on a woman's body that she finds very pleasing when touched or kissed. The stomach, the nap of the neck, the ears, the dip in her back, her breasts-- especially the nipples-- and of course--”

“I can't believe we're having this conversation... did I hit my head?”

“You want to please her, yes?” Zevran asked, as Alistair glanced away.

“Well... yes... I mean-- if we ever get that far...”

“Then just listen to some friendly advice.”

Alistair scoffed. “Since when you and I friends? I still don't trust you, you know.”

Zevran waved off his comment. “Yes, yes, but this is for Atrina,” he explained. “She is a dear friend of Wanda's and I know it will make her happy to know Atrina is being pleased.”

“H-how do you know it's Atrina? It could be Leliana for all you know,” he said lamely.

Zevran gave him a look. “You really think that you two are subtle with your flirting? You have a long way to go, Alistair.”

The taller man groaned. “All right... say I am looking at it for her-- with her in mind at least...” he began, tapping the book nervously. “And say neither one of us have actually done... _it_.”

“Sex? Truly? You have never--”

“ _Zevran_.”

“Ah, right, yes...” the elf began, putting his hand to his chin. “Well, 'if' she has never had the pleasure, I would recommend being gentle the first time. Let her get used to your size. Most likely than not, she will be tight.”

“Tight...”Alistair repeated, his mouth feeling a little dry as his hands gripped the book tightly.

“Yes, and depending on how large you are, it will be a tight squeeze, but you must push through. It will hurt her, but once she is used to you, then she will be able to enjoy it.”

“H-hurt her? I don't want to hurt her,” Alistair said, feeling sick at the thought of hurting Atrina.

“It is only in the beginning, unless, she _wants_ you to hurt her.”

Alistair squinted his eyes. “Why would she want me to?”

“She might get a thrill from it! Who knows, she _is_ a rogue like myself. Though, make sure to run any ideas by her first before executing them.”

“Maker... I'm going to Hell...” Alistair mumbled, leaning his head against the bookcase.

“Sex isn't a sin, my friend! It is a part of life!”

“I don't even know if she actually wants me anyways.” Alistair sighed.

“Oh, she wants you, my friend.”

A scoff left him. “Really? Because it feels like every time I think we're closer, she pushes me away... Am I doing something wrong?”

“...I do not think it is you, Alistair,” Zevran told him. “To me it seems she is torn between a sense of duty and the matters of the heart.”

“I know we have the Blight to worry about, but...” He glanced away from him. “I just... I thought we could tell each other anything... I thought she... She holds back, I know that.”

Zevran placed a hand on his shoulder. “Give her time, she may yet surprise you.”

Alistair closed his eyes as he sighed. “Maybe... Wished she trust me...”

“Alistair,” Zevran said, causing him to look down at the elf. “In the short time I've been with this band of misfits, I have seen the way you two fight together, she trusts you _immensely_. I have seen the way she looks at you in camp and when we are traveling. She wears this expression of love, want, but also, a look that almost breaks the heart.”

Alistair looked at him with confusion. “What do you mean?”

Zevran sighed. “I mean, she cares deeply for you, but feels she cannot have you.”

“Well, that doesn't make any sense...”

“Could be because she is an elf while you are human? We elves are not exactly looked upon with a lot of love and respect by most of you humans.”

“But I don't care about that! She could be a dwarf, even a qunari, and I would still want her,” Alistair stated never really even thinking about Atrina as being an elf. He always saw her as more, more than just a comrade, more than just a friend, more than just a beautiful face...

“Ah, but does she know that?” Zevran asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

“I- I assume so?”

Zevran shook his head, putting his face in his hand. “Alistair, Alistair, _never_ assume things when it comes to the female mind. They are not mind readers, as much as they greatly surprise us.”

Alistair felt skeptical. “Do you really think that's it?”

The assassin shrugged. “I honestly can't say, 'tis only speculation on my part,” he said before rubbing his chin. “Though, have you tried talking to her about it?”

“About her being an elf?”

“Ha, no, about your feelings for her?”

Alistair rubbed the back of his neck as he thought back to the other night. “Yeah... She...” he began, before sighing. “At first she said it felt like things were going too fast and she needed time to think about it...”

“Well, that's not so bad.”

“Then I kissed her aaand she sort of ran from me... So I haven't openly talked to her about it since.”

“Ouch,” Zevran said, causing him to wince.

“Thankfully she's speaking with me again, almost like before, but...” He sighed once more. “I'm afraid to _do_ anything now... I don't want her to push away from me again.”

“I could talk to Wanda, see if she has an idea what is happening?”

Alistair quickly shook his head. “No, bad idea. She'll tell Atrina and that might make things worse.”

“True,” he said before hearing Wanda's voice.

“Zevran, we're ready to go! Have you seen Alistair?” she called from another part of the library.

“Shh! This is a library!” the librarian said.

“We're the only ones here!”

“Shh!”

“Ah, sounds like we're being summoned. So, any last minute questions on how you can please Atrina?”

Alistair stared at the smirking elf before groaning. “Maybe later...” he mumbled, not believing he was actually thinking of asking Zevran for sex advice.

“Will you be bringing the book along?” the elf asked, causing Alistair to realize he started walking off with the sex positions book.

“Uhh...”

Zevran chuckled. “Would you like me to get it for you?”

“Um...” Alistair trailed off before the rogue snatched the book out of his hands. “Wait!”

Zevran was already at the counter before he could stop him. Groaning softly, the warrior made his way to the front, meeting up with Atrina and Wanda.

“Hey, there you are,” Atrina greeted, smiling the moment she spotted him.

He looked up at her, feeling his heart skip a beat as usual when he saw her smile. “Yeah, sorry, got lost,” he said, shrugging. “Find anything good?”

She laughed a little before pulling out a book from her pack. “Well, I got this one that talks about the Grey Wardens of old!” she said excitedly as she held it out to him. “I don't know how accurate it is, but I thought, maybe...” she trailed off, feeling shy all of a sudden. “We could read it together?”

His expression turned into one of surprise. “Uh...” A smile came over his features. “I'd like that.”

Atrina returned his smile, looking happy. “Awesome, we'll have to look at it when we get the chance.”

“Waiting on me?” Zevran asked, walking up to them.

Wanda came over and slipped her arm around his shoulders. “You never answered my call,” she said, pouting.

“Ah, well, I didn't need the librarian giving me more dirty looks,” he said, smirking as he snuck a look to Alistair.

“Oooh, did you get something fun to read?” Wanda asked as she giggled, not noticing the exchange between her boyfriend and the male Warden.

“Oh, I think you will find it most _pleasing_ ,” he said as he wrapped an arm around her waist, causing her to giggle more.

Alistair looked away from the exchange, keeping his blush to a minimum. Glancing at Atrina, he noticed the bittersweet look she sent towards the couple. She looked down at the book in her hands before hugging it to her chest.

Before he could look away, her eyes met his, and he felt his heart skip a beat once more when she smiled at him. “Come on, let's go before the lovebirds make a scene,” she teased as she grabbed his hand.

Alistair smiled as he let her lead him out of the library. Wanda huffed behind them, but he ignored her. Silently he realized he didn't find a book for her and held back feeling guilty. _It's because you spent all your time with Zevran and that Orlesian sex book..._

Atrina glanced back at him and paused a moment. “You okay?”

“Hm?” he asked as he looked down at her. “Oh, uh-- fine.”

Atrina tilted her head and opened her mouth to say something.

“Lady Tabris!”

They turned to see Bodhan waving at them on his wagon. He brought the horse beside the small group and forced the animal to a stop.

“Bodhan! I was hoping to find you.” She petted the horse as she smiled up at the dwarf.

Sandal poked his head out from the back. “Hello!”

“Hello, Sandal, good to see you.”

Alistair stepped up beside her. “How did it go with our _friend_?”

“Oh, he's doing well. He's being taken care of. In fact, he was saying once he was healed that he would be heading up to Redcliffe.”

Atrina looked at him with concern. “Would it be safe for him on the road?”

“Oh, yes, he's with one of the Arl of Redcliffe's knights.”

“Oh, well, he should be fine then.” Alistair grinned down at her.

Atrina returned the smile, looking relieved. “Good, I guess we'll see him at Redcliffe later.”

“You sound surprised by that,” Alistair commented.

“I just... wasn't sure if he would make it or not,” she said, looking away from him as she petted the horse.

In the back of his mind he had a nagging feeling that there was more to it than just concern, but he waved it off. “Well, should we get going?”

She nodded before instructing Bodhan on where to go.

“I have some more items that I believe will interest you,” Bodhan said, smiling down at her.

Atrina grinned. “I'd love to see it all. I'll come look when we've made camp.”

“Right you are,” Bodhan said before urging his horse forward.

“Goodbye!” Sandal waved at them as they rode off.

“I love those two,” Atrina said with a grin.

Alistair looked at her curiously. “You do?”

“Yep! Remind me to get some of our weapons enchanted when we get to camp. I keep forgetting.”

 


	19. Bath Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Traveling to the Dalish continues, except things get a little awkward between the two wardens...

* * *

 

 

Atrina lazed about in the water, looking up at the changing colors of the evening sky, for the moment she had a chance, she took off from camp to take a bath. It felt so long since she felt so clean.

 _I'm so grateful for Bodhan and his goods! He actually has things like soap! Though, I'm probably taking longer than I need to... But it feels so good!_ she thought with a small smile.

As much as she missed the option of having hot water, Atrina found herself really enjoying the life of traveling. She never thought she would, but then again, she never had a chance to experience it before.

 _Everything about this place makes it hard to want to go home..._ she thought, sighing a little. Home... Earth... what was that like anymore? She couldn't remember much of it now. _It doesn't help that Wanda loves it so much... She's fully embraced it, minus a few hiccups._

“Can I really keep this up?” she whispered, her mind going to Alistair and his kiss.

It had been just a few days or so, even though she had been trying to keep her mind preoccupied with other things, she kept finding herself thinking about him and the kiss, along with all the moments in between. What would have happened if she hadn't run from him?

 _We would be dating... stealing kisses and he would say, 'your desire is my command' whenever I turned to him... I probably would have been able to cuddle with him in the room at the inn instead of being in separate beds..._ Feeling herself blush, she took a deep breath, before turning over into the water. While she was submerged, she thought over Wanda's words.

Should she take the plunge? Just accept whatever happens between her and Alistair? Not worry about what might happen?

 _What's really stopping me?_ she pondered. _Is it the fact that I might wake to it all being a dream? I... I need to know that this is_ real _. I can't take that plunge until I know, but how do I find out?_ she thought before coming up from the water. She shivered a little before sighing. “All right... that's my new mission in mind; find out if this is all just a dream or if it's real.”

She nodded to herself as she made her way back towards the shore. Stretching as she stood, she smiled to herself. _And Alistair gave me time to think about my feelings and his... The only thing I'll need to worry about is if he becomes king._ She frowned at the thought. “Which he won't... because I promised him I'd figure it out...” she said as she moved back towards her things. _Well, he knows that I'm unsure... maybe I can still salvage this? We're talking again, so that helps--_

A sound caught her attention, causing her to go on alert as she lowered herself back into the water. _What was that? I feel... something..._ Another noise followed as she silently moved towards her clothes. She pulled out her dagger before heading to the sounds. _Better go check it out._

The water started to get shallower, causing her to be more aware that she didn't bother putting anything on before going to investigate. _Smart move, Atrina... Face a possible threat naked! Nothing could go wrong there._

Moving behind a rock, she peeked around only to find a naked Alistair with his back to her. He was standing on the bank, clearly having just taken off his clothes.

A muffled squeak left her as she covered her mouth. _Holy! He's naked! Veeerry naked!_ She turned and pressed her back against the rock. _What do I do?!_

The temptation to look back was strong. Biting her bottom lip she shivered a little. _This is NOT what I had in mind when I decided that I might take the plunge with him... Ugh, Maker, why do you hate me?_

Taking a deep breath, she risked a glance over the rock, only to drop back down behind it. _That's a reeeeally cute butt..._ she thought before shaking her head. _Go now before you see too much! You're not a peeping tom!_ She slowly backed away from the rock, hoping to disappear before he realized she was there.

The back of her ankle hit a root in the water, causing her to fall back into the river with a splash. A surprise yelp left her as she fell, water filling her mouth as a result.

“Who-- Atrina?” Alistair questioned before rushing over to her when she resurfaced. Violently she coughed, having trouble breathing from the water, she hardly noticed him helping her up. “Are you all right?” He held her steady and rubbed her back lightly as she coughed.

“Ye-yeah,” she croaked as she wiped the water from her eyes. Opening them, she got a good view of him, before she squeaked and quickly turned her back to him. “I am _so sorry_!” She crossed her arms tightly over her chest as she stared wild-eyed at the water. _I just saw Alistair's penis... And he just saw my chest._ She felt herself flush. _He comes to my belly button-- Are they all that long-- Maker, I'm getting dirty thoughts now!_

Alistair let out a mix between a nervous chuckle and a nervous cough as he took a step away from her. “U-um, you're... n-no... Oh, blast it to the Maker!”

Atrina blinked before a giggle slipped from her. “I don't think he'd want to see this.”

A sigh left him, but she could hear a slight chuckle in his voice. “Really? I think, if he's paying attention, that he's laughing his arse off right about now.”

Another laugh left her. “Oh yeah, and Andraste is shaking her head at the ridiculousness of it as well.”

He snorted. “Probably!”

They laughed once more before awkward silence filled them. She shifted a little on her feet, looking down at the water that was just below her belly button. _Should I just go? I don't know what to do now..._

“Um... I... I didn't know you were out here...” Alistair said softly as he moved a little in the water behind her.

“Yeah, um... I was, uh, further down...” she said as she walked into the water until she could comfortably lower herself. The water was above her chest now, making her feel more covered. “I-- uh, heard a noise, so...”

“Ah, I see... might explain this then,” he said, moving in the water behind her.

She tensed a little at feeling the water shift when he moved closer to her. _I really should just go--_

Over her shoulder he held out her dagger. “This yours?”

She blinked at it before a sheepish laugh left her. “Um, guess I dropped it when I was, um...” she trailed off as she took the dagger.

“Trying to get away before I saw you? Which you can turn around now, by the way... it's, uh, _safe_...”

Glancing hesitantly over her shoulder, she saw he was now mid-torso deep in the water, fully hiding anything lower from view. “I'm sorry,” she repeated as she turned back to him, shame and guilt written all over her face.

His cheeks were red and she had a feeling they matched hers. “No, no, don't be...” he whispered, giving her a soft smile. He glanced away from her, seeming unsure of what to say.

“I'll... I'll go, so you can clean up...” She started to move away, only to pause when he moved closer to her. “Alistair?”

“Atrina...” His eyes held her for a moment and she couldn't bring herself to look away. Leaning down closer to her, his nose lightly brushed against hers, as his eyes lowered to her lips.

Her eyes half closed in response as her heart rate picked up. Without thinking, her hand reached out and tentatively touched his arm. “Yes?” she breathed as he came closer.

“I--”

“Atrina? Where are you?” Wanda's voice called, breaking the moment as the couple jumped back from each other.

“I-- I... I need to...”

He nodded, not meeting her gaze. “Right...”

She almost reached out to him again. The dejected look on his face made her almost forget herself.

“Atrina!”

She winced. “Coming!” she called as Alistair moved away from her. “I'll see you back at camp?” She didn't know why she said it like a question.

He paused as he looked over his shoulder at her. “Yes, of course.”

With a nod, she turned and headed back towards where she left her things, all the while repeating what happened in her mind. _I think I might have interesting dreams tonight..._

“There you are,” Wanda said the moment Atrina came into view. “Did you sidetracked again?”

“Yeeep!” Atrina told her, deciding right then and there that she wasn't going to tell Wanda what happened. _This is between me and Alistair. And knowing Wanda, if she found out, she would giggle every time she saw him... also she'd be more pushy about us getting together,_ especially _with having been with Zevran finally._

“Well, come on, it's your turn to cook, remember?”

Atrina winced as she got out of the water. “Oh... right, forgot.”

While teaching her about herbalism, Morrigan also helped Atrina to learn how to cook over an open flame. It was her second time cooking the group meal. First time she burnt the meat a little, but it was still edible, thankfully. “I better get over there then,” she said as she grabbed her dry cloth and quickly dried off.

“I had a feeling you'd get distracted, you always do when you take a bath,” Wanda commented as she patiently waited for her.

Atrina shrugged as she got dressed. “Yeah, well... my mind likes to wander.”

“Oh, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it. I do it too, but I just wanted to make sure you didn't let it wander too long, you know?”

Atrina nodded as they started heading back together. “Right...”

 

 

When she saw Alistair again at dinner, Atrina felt herself tense a little as her mind took her back to his naked flesh... His arms on her as he steadied her...

 _Maker's breath..._ she thought, feeling betrayed by both her body and mind.

When Alistair came to get his part of dinner, they didn't make eye contact and exchanged little words. Her heart ached a little as she watched him walk away. _We're both adults... this... this shouldn't be such a big deal, right? Expect for the fact that I hadn't even seen Sam fully naked..._ she thought with a frown.

“Atrina, come on, sit down.” Wanda waved her over, reminding her to get her own plate of food.

Conversation floated around the camp fire as they ate. Various talks ranging from how much longer it would be until they were at the location Bodhan had mentioned about the Dalish, to talks on what supplies they would need next. When she was done, Leliana brought out her lute and played a few cords, singing various songs, from Andraste, to warriors in battle, to lovers-- both tragic and fortunate in their love.

Atrina glanced up at Alistair to find his gaze on her. He kept his eyes on her before looking back down at his food. Letting her eyes linger on him, she let her mind wander to the river...

 _If you would just let yourself be with him, you'd be able to get to know that body better..._ Atrina felt a shiver go through her at the thought. The idea of his body against hers made excitement fill up inside of her.

“Are you all right?” Wanda whispered suddenly, making her jump slightly and mentally push the thoughts out of her mind. “Did something happen between you two?” She gestured to Alistair with a confused look.

Atrina's eyes widened before she found herself shaking her head quickly. “Nope, nothing, we're fine.”

Wanda narrowed her eyed at her. “I don't believe you. You're telling me later.”

Atrina swallowed the groan that wanted to escape. Glancing at Alistair, she saw him glance at her at the same time. Resisting the urge to look away, while praying he didn't either, she sent him a small smile. _I can't avoid his eye forever..._ she thought before seeing him return the smile, making her heart feel light.

After dinner Wanda went to take a bath and Atrina found Zevran before he could think about joining the mage.

“Hey, Zevran?” She received a curious look from him.

“Ah, Atrina, what can I do for you?”

“Well, I was hoping you could actually distract Wanda tonight,” she said, earning a perked eyebrow from the elf assassin.

“Oh?”

“Yes, if you could just make her somehow forget to talk to me tonight or whatever...” she said, hoping to use the assassin to her advantage. “Think you can manage it?”

Zevran chuckled. “Oh, managing is simple. But, I suppose I can do that for you,” he said, smirking as he knew he would enjoy every minute of it.

Atrina smiled in relief. “Thanks.”

“Feel free to ask me to distract her _anytime_ , Warden.”

She laughed a little. “Well, if you want to keep distracting her later on, you can, but hopefully this is the only time I ask-- though, I get the feeling I might need to again though...”

He rubbed his chin as he watched her. “You do have me intrigued on what could possibly cause you to want to distract Wanda.”

“Uhh... it's a secret,” she said, putting a finger to her lips as she walked away from him.

He let out another chuckle as she walked off. “Must be a pretty secret to keep from your best friend, no?”

She paused for a moment, thinking it over. “...It's not mine to tell.”

He smiled slightly at her. “Fair enough, I suppose.”

“Goodnight, Zev.”

“Goodnight.”

Atrina smiled as she headed to her tent. Tomorrow was another day and she could focus on both, saving Ferelden from the Blight and on figuring out how to really tell if she was dreaming.

Hearing a slight muffled noise, when she walked by Alistair's tent, she paused. Looking at the tent, she heard more, causing her to squint her eyes at the sound. _What is he doing in there?_ she thought as she stepped closer to the tent. “Um, Alistair? You okay?”

“Y-yeah, I'm fine,” he said his voice sounding a little out of breath.

Her eyebrow rose. “Are you sure? You sound a little winded.”

A breathy chuckle left the tent. “Of course I do...” she barely heard him say.

 _What does he--_ Her eyes grew wide when the image of him at the river flashed in her mind. _Oh... Ohhhh-- no, he couldn't... Oh, Maker..._

“Really... I'm fine,” he called, sounding like he was trying to get control of his breathing.

Atrina's body instantly felt warm. “Um... right, okay! Just-- just checking,” she said as she started to back away from the tent.

“...Atrina,” Alistair called softly from his tent, causing her to freeze.

“Um, yes?” she asked, trying not to fidget. When he didn't immediately answer she felt concerned suddenly, pushing the dirty thoughts from her mind for a moment. “Alistair?” she called, stepping towards the tent. “Alistair? What--”

She heard him let out a huge breath, one he couldn't hold back even if he tried. “Uh, never mind...” he called softly, sounding less tense than before. “S-sorry to bother you.”

Atrina felt herself blush. _Did he just..._ “Um, are you sure?”

“Yes! I'm good. Thanks!” he said quickly as sounds of him rummaging in his tent reached her.

Biting her lip, she stepped back from the tent, unsure of what to really think. “Um, you're welcome, I guess? Goodnight, Alistair.”

“Goodnight!”

She sped walked to her tent and practically dived into her pillow. She let out a muffled scream into the pillow before hugging it tightly to her chest. “I can't believe this... was he really-- Gah! Brain, stop!” she whispered, burying her face once more into the pillow as her imagination started running wild. _I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight now... He-- oh Maker..._

A groan left her as she rolled onto her back. _Has he done that before? Or was this the first time-- at least, thinking of me? Damn it!_ She scrubbed her head with her hands.

She wasn't disgusted by the idea, far from it. If anything she felt warm and... _happy_ by the idea of him thinking about her in such private ways...

 _To think, if I was in a relationship with him_ right now _I could be helping him--_ She sat up quickly as she blushed. “I-I'm hormonal right now... I had just seen him naked... Andraste's sword, I can't-- I need to go for a walk.” she mumbled before getting up. Taking a deep breath, she stepped out of her tent, calling Grunt to her side. “Come on, boy,” she said as she started leading him towards the edge of camp.

“Atrina? Where are you going, dear?” Wynne asked from her place by the campfire just as she passed by.

The elf paused before turning to the mage. “Oh, uh, just going for a walk,” she answered with a false smile.

“Is something wrong? You seem a little flushed, child.” Wynne stood up and moved over to her.

Atrina put a hand to her cheek and could feel the warmth on her skin. “Oh, uh, I'm fine. Just, uh, feeling a little hot, I guess. Nothing to worry about.”

“Well, a walk won't do you any good,” Wynne began as she went into mother-hen mode. “I have some herbs, I can make something--”

“Wynne, no it's fine,” Atrina said quickly cutting her off as she took a step back. “I'm okay, really.”

“Something wrong?” Alistair asked as he stepped out of his tent. His eyes immediately looked over at her with concern.

Atrina averted her eyes from him, feeling herself get more flushed suddenly at seeing him. “Nothing's wrong,” she told him tensely. _Maker, it's like he got ten times hotter all of a sudden... Ack!_

“Here, let me see if you have a fever,” Wynne said, moving towards her.

Atrina took a step back, becoming defensive. “I _don't_ have a fever! I'm okay! Just want to go on a walk,” she told them while silently screaming. Grunt moved towards her, feeling her agitation.

“If you have a fever...” Alistair began before he was suddenly in front of her, putting a hand to her forehead. “Were you in the water to--”

Atrina repelled at his touch as many images of him invaded her mind. Her body felt to be on fire from his touch alone. He smelt so good too, which didn't help. “I said I'm _fine_! Why can't I be a little warm?!” she said, raising her voice as she backed away quickly.

“Atrina?”

She ignored him as she called Grunt to follow her as she practically ran from the camp. _Damn him!_ Atrina thought when she was further away. _Why did he have to do that? Now I don't think I'm going to ever calm down..._ Her heart pounded hard in her chest as another shiver went through her.

She sat under a tree and buried her face into her arms. Grunt whimpered softly beside her as he laid at her feet. “This is just too much for me right now...” she mumbled as she scratched Grunt on his head. _We didn't have these kinds of problems before when we were traveling, so why now?_

“Atrina? Are you all right?”

“I told you, I'm-- oh! Leliana.” Atrina raised her head to see the bard walking up to her. “Sorry, thought you were Wynne or Alistair,” she said as she physically relaxed against the tree.

Leliana gave her a smile as she came to her side. “I see, is Wynne being too motherly again?”

Atrina rolled her eyes as she stood up. “Oh Maker, _yes_! And she's got Alistair worried about me too!” She paced the ground a little before stopping as she placed her hands on her hips in annoyance.

“A worried Alistair is a handful,” Leliana said, earning a sigh.

“They think I'm sick now. All because I'm a little red in the face...”

Leliana peered closer to her. “Well, you don't look sick-- maybe a little flushed.”

“That's because I'm not sick. I'm flushed because--” She stopped short realizing she was about to say what she overheard from Alistair's tent. “Um... I, uh, had a dream that's a little... um.”

“Not accepted by the Chantry?” Leliana offered, giving her a knowing smile.

Atrina blushed a little more as she tugged on a lock of her brown hair. “Um... you could say that.”

Leliana giggled. “Oh, no, I'm sorry,” she said quickly. “I'm not laughing at you. I'm just picturing Alistair's face at knowing that. He's so pure, it's adorable.”

Atrina fidgeted. _He's not as innocent as you'd think..._ She bit her lip as she thought about the ex-templar. Her mind flashed back to her seeing him naked and she had to mentally shake herself. _Calm down!_

“So, was it about him?” Leliana whispered, earning a wide-eyed look from Atrina. “I am just curious. He's the only male around that you're interested in.”

“I... um... No, it...” Atrina groaned a little as she found herself being backed into a corner by her words. “Look, I like him, but why does everyone have to keep saying I'm in love with him?” _Even though it's completely true and I'm just lying right now._

“I never said that,” Leliana reminded. “But I am no fool. You two are attracted to one another, if only physically, and there's nothing wrong with that.”

Atrina crossed her arms with a huff as she glanced away. “Really? You missed Wynne's talk with me a few days ago then.”

“Alistair is a man and you two are close. It wouldn't be so surprising if you fell in love, would it?”

Atrina closed her eyes in frustration and sudden remorse. “I... I don't...”

Leliana expression turned to one of concern. “What's wrong?”

She hugged herself as she glanced away. “I don't know _what_ to feel right now... I don't even know if this is-- if he-- I just... not looking for love at the moment...” she said quietly before sighing. “Can we change topics for now? I'm... still trying to figure things out... I have too many thoughts in my head.”

Leliana studied her for a moment before glancing past her. She placed a hand on the elf's shoulder, causing her to look back up at the bard. “Of course, why don't we go up the hill? Look at the stars as we clear our heads, yes? That way you can get back to sleep without stressing so much.”

Atrina gave her a grateful look. “I'd love that, thank you. Come on, Grunt.”

The mabari barked as he ran back over to the women. He led the way as Leliana looked back over her shoulder.

Alistair watched as Atrina walked away, never seeing him. He tried to keep the heartbroken expression from his face as he leaned his forehead against the tree.

 _I told Zevran he was wrong..._ he thought as he walked back to camp. He hung his head as he sat by the fire before letting out a big sigh. _I must have made things worse at the river-- and after we begun talking again... I wasn't even_ thinking _when I started to lean in._

“...I'm assuming things didn't go as you had hoped?” Wynne asked, causing him to look up at her.

He let out another sigh as he placed his chin in his hand. “Yeah... I know, it's stupid...”

“Alistair, it is not stupid to fall in love...”

He scoffed lightly. “Isn't it though? Especially when the woman you fall for almost doesn't want anything to do with you after you reveal you have feelings?”

Wynne shook her head. “Alistair, Atrina does care about you.” She earned another scoff from him.

“Well, I know she _cares_ , but not like _I_ do for her.”

Wynne rolled her eyes. “She's _running_ from her feelings. I believe the moment she understood what was happening, she became scared and unsure. I tried to speak to her about it all, a few days ago, but she did not take it well. I even tried talking to her about it just the other night, but she changed topics on me. Having me talk about my time at the Circle-- clever one, she is.”

Alistair sat up straight as he looked at Wynne. “Yeah, I overheard her say that to Leliana that you gave her some sort of talk? What did she say?” He moved closer to the mage, completely eager to listen.

Wynne gave him a small smile. “Well, she seemed to have believed you wouldn't ever feel that way about her.”

Alistair threw his hands into the air in frustration. “Everyone seems to think that's what it is, and I just don't understand it... I already know she doesn't have a problem with the idea of me being human while she's an elf, she was once _engaged_ to a human.”

“Well, Wanda seems to think she's denying herself the idea of you caring for her to try and protect both of you. What else did she say to Leliana? I'm curious.”

He sighed. “She's... she said basically she's not looking for love right now... Oh and apparently why her face was red was because of some...” Alistair trailed off when he thought back to the conversation he heard. “Wait... that doesn't make sense...” he mumbled to himself.

“What did you say?” Wynne asked with a puzzled look. “I didn't hear you.”

 _She couldn't have had time to have a dream though... I had just spoken to her before..._ His eyes went wide as he began to realize why Atrina had actually been looking flushed. He put his head in his hands. “Andraste's flaming sword!”

“Alistair?” Wynne questioned before jumping when Alistair suddenly leaped to his feet.

“I, I have to go.”

“What's wrong? Are you all right?”

“Fine! I'm fine, Wynne,” he said, looking flushed and panicked as he started leaving the area.

“Looks like something going around then because you look exactly as red as Atrina did.” Wynne narrowed her eyes suspiciously at him.

He chuckled nervously as he turned and walked backwards for a little bit. “Uh, maybe? But excuse me, will you? Sorry,” he said before rushing off.

 

“Zevran? I need to talk-- Ah, sorry!” Alistair immediately covered his eyes when he saw Wanda.

Wanda laughed at his reaction. “Relax, Alistair, I'm just in my slip. It's safe to look,” she reassured him before slipping her robes on.

“U-uh, right, sorry...” he said, lowering his hand. He rubbed the palms of his hands on his shirt, feeling anxious and flustered.

“Something you needed, Alistair? Or were you hoping to join us?” Zevran asked, earning a giggle from Wanda. The elf assassin remained in the water.

Alistair rolled his eyes. “Ah-haa, _no_ , but I did want to talk to you for a moment.”

“Really? Well, all right.” Zevran stood out of the water and walked onto the shore. “What can I help you with?”

“Uh, I was hoping we could talk alone... Do you mind, Wanda?” Alistair asked as he looked at her.

Wanda pouted a little. “Fiiine, I suppose. But don't hog him for too long, we still have plans,” she said, giving a wink.

Alistair scrunched his face up knowing exactly what she meant. “Yeah, don't need to know that, thank you.”

Wanda and Zevran shared a kiss before she departed. The assassin turned to Alistair with a curious look. “What can I help you with, Alistair?” he asked as he leaned against a tree, not bothering to put any clothes on yet.

“Uh, you're not going to put your clothes on?”

“And get them wet? No, no, I will just drip dry for now. So, tell me, what has gotten you so frazzled that you sought me while I was bathing?”

“Right, sorry about that,” Alistair said before letting out a sigh as he started pacing a little. “I... I think I might have done something... Ugh, I don't know how to say this.” He ran his hand through his hair in frustration.

Zevran raised a brow. “I have a feeling this has something to do with Atrina, am I wrong?”

Alistair winced as he paused in pacing. “You're not-- Look, I think Atrina might have... overheard _me_ in my _tent_ earlier...” he said, hoping the assassin understood what he was aiming at.

The other brow joined its brother. “I see, but how do you know this?”

“Well... she called to my tent asking if I was okay... Told her I was fine, but I sort of called her back-- I mean, I didn't _mean_ to-- it just came out! And she called my name twice, and um...” Alistair's face was hot as he confessed and avoided the elf's gaze. “Then later she was flustered when she was around me before she left for a walk with Grunt and Leliana...”

“Hmm... did she seem disgusted with you?”

“No, thankfully... just flustered and wanting to be alone-- though she got pretty defensive... Actually, when she was talking to Leliana, she lied about why she was flustered... telling her that she had a dream, which isn't possible in the amount of time in between. That's-- uh-- how I figured she knew what I was, um, doing in the tent...”

Zevran seemed truly stunned at his words. “Huh... that was extremely kind of her. Some women love to flaunt when a man masturbates to the thought of them. While others choose to ridicule the men for doing so, but that just depends on the woman.”

“I think she... sort of covered for me? I mean, she could have easily told Leliana...”

“Exactly, but she chose to keep it to herself. Even though it's a natural function, she doesn't want to embarrass you. Not a lot of women would do that and they wouldn't do it for just anyone.”

Alistair rubbed his eyes before pinching the bridge of his nose. “What should I do? Should I talk to her--”

“No! Do _not_ bring it up to her.” Zevran quickly moved to squash the idea from the Warden's mind. “Don't let her know that you know that she knows what you were doing,” he stated. “Only talk about it if she brings it up. _Even_ then, you should tread carefully.”

Alistair groaned a little. “How am I supposed to act like everything's normal when I'm around her now? We _just_ started talking again!”

“You'll just have to. You don't want things to be more awkward than they are, do you?” Zevran asked as he moved to put his clothes on.

“Of course not! I just...” Alistair sighed, realizing he was in a losing battle. “I should never have told her about my feelings... I should have kept it to myself, then things wouldn't be like this.” He leaned heavily against a tree, feeling defeated and lost.

Zevran rolled his eyes. “And continue to be tormented by your feelings and thoughts of if she felt the same? You had said she needed more time to think, yes?”

Alistair glowered at the elf. “And how long is that supposed to take, exactly? It's been over a week!”

“I think you should give her a little more time,” he told him, remaining unnerved by his snapping. “At least 'til after we're done with the Dalish. We should be there in the next few days, so, talk to her afterwards. If there's not a chance then, you can talk to her in Denerim while looking for this Genitivi fellow, no?”

Alistair rubbed the back of his neck as he moved off the tree. “Maybe... great, now I have to start worrying about the idea of meeting my sister...” he groaned softly causing Zevran to chuckle.

“You never seem to be lacking women trouble, my friend.”

“So I've noticed...” Alistair mumbled as they started walking back towards the camp.

“Listen, just focus on the task at hand for now. Everything else might just fall into place.”

Alistair sighed as he stuck his hands in his pockets. “Perhaps.”

“Now, if you'll excuse me, I have an enchantress waiting for me,” Zevran said with a wink as they walked into camp.

Alistair shuddered a little before moving to his tent. Part of him wanted to stay out and wait for Atrina, but he had a feeling that might make things worse.

 _Why am I such an idiot?_ he thought as he fell back onto his bedroll.

 

 


	20. Attack on Camp

* * *

 

 

Murmurs and hums reached her ears as Atrina looked around. Nothing around her, but she knew they were there, surrounding her just out of sight. Warden senses tingled with the feeling of darkspawn. She could feel it in her blood, a cold feeling that wouldn't go away, no matter how warm she got. Weapons were in her hands, but she felt afraid, oh so afraid.

A roar that shook her to the bone, echoed throughout the dark caverns. Looking up, Atrina felt frozen by the sight of the dragon.

 _Not any dragon, the_ archdemon _!_ The dragon's body was covered in dead flesh much like the darkspawn themselves. Black ichor oozed from its eyes as it stalked and growled.

The archdemon let out a mighty roar that caused her to flinch before turning its deadly eyes on Atrina. It opened his mouth and she saw more teeth than she had ever seen in her life.

A gasp left her as her eyes snapped open. It took a brief second to realize she was sitting up before she scrambled out of her bedroll. Legs tangled in blankets before she managed to kick them off. Once she was free she dashed out of the tent...

Only to collide with another body.

Her and Alistair bounced off each other before she started to fall back.

Alistair quickly caught her and steadied her. “Atrina! Did you--”

“Yes! It- it looked right at me!”

“Me too! It was like it actually saw us! _Saw_ us!”

“What are you two shouting about?” Wanda asked as she peeked her head out of her tent before she yawned.

“The archdemon!” Atrina stated physically shaking. She couldn't shake the cold feeling from her dream. “We, we saw--”

“Wait! Did you hear that?” Alistair said, looking around, on high alert.

Atrina's eyes widened. “Darkspawn!”

Everyone in camp scrambled to their weapons as darkspawn climbed out of the ground. Arrows and spells were flying everywhere as most fought half dressed.

A Shriek appeared beside Atrina, screaming at her. She was paralyzed for a moment as it raised its daggers. A shield bashed into the creature, knocking it back.

“Atrina! Snap out of it!” Alistair shouted as he fought off the darkspawn.

She shook herself before swiping the shriek with her sword and dagger. Together they took down the creature before a genlock attacked her from behind. She felt the blade slice her back, causing her to cry out before she turned and kicked the short darkspawn. It fell back and she quickly stabbed it in the chest with her dagger before cutting off its head with her sword.

Hearing a war cry Atrina winced before seeing a hurlock turn its attention onto her. She let out a frustrated noise as it swung its giant sword at her. Crossing her dagger and sword in front of her, she blocked the weapon, but was knocked back to the ground.

Landing on her back she let out a hiss of pain. She could almost feel the dirt rub into her wound as she moved to sit back up. Looking up she saw the hurlock swing his sword down towards her. Before she could respond, Alistair jumped in the way, his shield blocking the swing.

Atrina heard a terrifying crunch as Alistair clenched his teeth in pain. The hurlock pulled back and Alistair dropped his shield with a groan and his arm hung limp at his side. Atrina scrambled up as the hurlock moved to raise its heavy sword and she quickly stabbed it in the stomach. As it fell back Alistair slashed off the head and kicked it to the ground.

He breathed heavily as he stood up straight. Atrina moved back to his side as he tried to move his arm. He hissed in pain and let out a few choice words before lifting his sword back up.

“Alistair--”

“I'm fine!” he said as he moved back into the fray, ignoring her shouts.

“Ugh!” Atrina went after him and covered his left side as they fought.

Once the darkspawn were defeated she turned to Alistair to see him drop down to his knee. She moved to his side and her hands hovered over his arm. “How bad?”

“Well,” he said before wincing when he tried to move it once more. A hiss of pain left him like before. “Yeah, broken, definitely broken.”

Wynne joined their side. Gently she took his arm and pressed it in a few places.

“Owowowow!”

“It's going to hurt more when I have to reset the bones,” Wynne warned him as she moved to help him stand. “Wanda, I'm going to need your help.”

“Um, I don't really know anything about resetting bones...”

“I do,” Leliana said as she followed the two into Wynne's tent.

Atrina stood, wincing slightly when the cut on her back stretched. “It's not safe here anymore... We should pack up.”

“And you need to get that cut cleaned and dressed before doing anything else,” Zevran said, coming up to her. He moved to her back and clicked his tongue. “My, they did a number on you, didn't they?”

Wanda joined him and winced. “Yeesh, and your tunic is sticking to it...” she said as she gingerly pulled on the tunic.

Atrina tensed and let out a hiss of pain. “Ahh, yeah, that hurts...”

Wanda dropped her tunic. “Sorry!”

“Seems you should be joining Alistair in Wynne's tent,” Zevran stated as he stepped back from her.

“Yeah, go on and I'll get you another tunic.”

Atrina sighed, but nodded. “Okay...”

Rubbing her arm, she stepped into the tent, only to pause when a shout of pain went out. She looked up and flinched at the sight. Alistair was sprawled out on Wynne's bedroll as the mage and the bard worked on his arm.

“Alistair, hold still!”

“I'm _trying_!” he shouted through clenched teeth. His face was twisted in pain as he gripped a ball of yarn tightly in his good hand.

“Maybe we should have asked Sten to help,” Leliana stated as she held his arm together while Wynne worked on wrapping it with a splint.

“If you don't try to relax, I won't get it wrapped right,” Wynne stated.

“Oh, yes, it's so bloody _easy_ to relax!”

“U-um, is there anything I can do?” Atrina asked, earning the women's attention.

“Yes, if you could help distract Alistair,” Wynne said, not looking up form her work. “That would help greatly.”

“I recommend sitting on him, maybe he'll stop moving so much then,” Leliana added in a strained tone.

Atrina looked at her slacked-jawed. “Sit--”

Alistair suddenly let out a shout of pain and, before Atrina could think, she was straddling his chest. Pressing down on his shoulders, she forced him to lean back slightly into the bedroll. Grabbing a discarded rag, she started wiping the sweat from his brow, shushing him as she tried to calm him back down. “Deep slow breaths, Ali...” she said softly as she started breathing with him. “In through the nose, out through the mouth...”

He followed her breathing pattern and finally eased back into the bedroll, still tense, but more relaxed than before. Copper brown eyes opened to see her above him. “Atrin-- ahh!”

“Shh, focus on me,” she said quickly as she wiped his face. She started the breathing pattern again, urging him to do it with her.

He looked back at her and breathed with her once more. His hand lost hold of the ball of yarn and grabbed her hip instead. She was afraid he was about to push her off, but he just seemed to anchor her there.

“Th-that's my tunic, y-youknow,” he gasped out suddenly, staring at the tunic she was wearing.

Her eyes widened in surprise. “It is? And don't clench your teeth, you'll wear them down. Focus on me and talking.”

A hint of a smile was on his face, but it was twisted by the pain he was feeling. “Yes-ss, g-gave it to you... by accident.” He let out a strained chuckle. “'Member swimming?” He looked at her before his eyes shut tightly as another wave of pain went through him.

“Ha, yes, I remember,” she said, running her hand over his face. His hand squeezed her hip tightly, causing her to wince a little. “W-why didn't you tell me it was yours? I would have given it back.”

“Heh, you looked... looked good in it,” he admitted as both eyes opened when he looked up at her. “You... slept in it a lo...” His eyes started to close as he started to drift off.

“Keep him awake!” Wynne ordered, as she tied the last of bandage to his arm.

“Alistair, stay with me.” Atrina shook him a little and patted his cheek to get him to look up at her once more. “Talk more about how you like me in your tunic.”

“You're beautiful in anything... Like... that duster armor,” he mumbled, opening his eyes a little. His hand raised from her hip and brushed her cheek. “I really like you in that...”

Atrina laughed a little as she grabbed his hand. “Do you really? Wanda mentioned you staring once.”

“'Course she would... My arm feels warm, is that normal?” he asked, glancing over at Wynne and Leliana.

“Only when I'm healing it,” Wynne stated with an amused smile as her hands hovered over his arm.

“Here, drink this.” Leliana handed him a vial. “It will help with the pain.”

“Yes, you won't be able to hold a shield for awhile I'm afraid-- oh, Atrina, you can get off of him now, dear.”

Atrina felt herself heat up. “Oh, um--” A squeak left her when Alistair sat up, causing her to tumble into his lap. With his good arm he steadied her before downing the vial given to him.

“Oh, that's vile,” he said as he shook his head in disgust.

“You will need to keep the splint on at least for the day,” Wynne stated as she worked on cleaning up her tent. “Depending on how well you listen to me on _not_ using your left arm, you might be able to take it off tonight after we camp.”

Leliana let out a soft giggle before leaving the tent. “I'll see to helping the others pick up camp. Maker knows we can't stay here any longer...” And with that she was gone.

“You okay?” Atrina asked as she looked up at Alistair. He looked worn out and pale, but a lot better now that he wasn't in a great amount of pain.

“Yeah, yeah...” he said softly as he put a hand gently on her back, only to snatch his hand away when she tensed up and let out a whimper of pain. “Maker, I'm sorr--”

“Found a tunic!” Wanda said, coming into the tent. “Took me awhile-- Oh!” she said when she saw Atrina in Alistair's lap.

Atrina face turned bright pink before she scrambled out of his lap. Alistair's face was just as red. “It's not what you think! I was keeping him from moving--”

“And it looks like you did a great job,” Wanda teased as she handed her the tunic. “Now, unless you want Alistair to see you topless, he needs to go.”

Atrina found the tunic in her hands to be very interesting in that moment. _Best not mention that he's already seen me topless..._

“Uh, right...” Alistair stood, not meeting her eye either. “Um, sorry about your ball of yarn, Wynne,” he said as he handed her the deflated yarn.

Wynne let out a small laugh. “That's all right, Alistair, it's still useable.”

He nodded. “Yes, well... I'll, uh, be out here,” he said before glancing at Atrina. She looked up and caught his tender gaze. “Thanks for, uh... distracting me...”

She nodded her head stiffly. “Um, no problem, any time...”

He smiled at her before leaving the tent. Atrina let out a sigh as she sat down where Alistair had been.

“You two reeeally need to do something about this,” Wanda stated as Wynne worked on wetting Atrina's tunic to get it to stop sticking to the dried blood and mud.

“I'm working on it...” Atrina grumbled, wincing as the tunic was tugged off of her. She took the tunic and looked at it sadly. “This was his... and now it's ruined...”

“Was it really?”

“Yeah, he just told me...”

“Awww, that's so cute.”

“Shut up, Wanda.”

The mage just laughed.

Atrina held the torn and bloody tunic to her chest. She could clean it and stitch it back up, but the blood surely wouldn't come out. “I should get him a new one...”

“He obviously wasn't missing it,” Wanda stated. “You've had that one for how long now?”

“Um... not sure... Awhile at least.”

“See? He wasn't missing it, so no worries.”

“Right...”

Atrina left Wynne's tent with a healed, though still mildly tender, back. The sun was just starting to peak over the hills, stars having barely faded. Looking around, she noticed that most of the camp was packed up and ready to go.

 _Just need to get mine packed,_ she thought as she moved to her tent, only to see Morrigan working on it. “Morrigan?”

“Hm?” The mage looked up and offered her the bag she was holding. “I packed up your unmentionables while Alistair did the rest; could not let the dimwit look through your things, now could I?”

Atrina's mouth closed with an audible click as she took the bag. “You-- you didn't have to--”

“Alistair had already started working on your tent, even before his own, actually,” Leliana added as she packed away the last of her things. “He started picking up your smalls when Morrigan stepped in.”

Atrina looked at her with wide eyes before turning them to where Alistair was. The warden worked on his own tent, with Grunt running around him. Atrina let out a slight noise of annoyance before setting the bag down with the rest of her things.

Standing behind Alistair she placed her hands on her hips. “What're you doing?”

“Packing my tent, or at least _trying_ to. I don't think Grunt can take a hint,” he said, not looking up at her as he continued to work.

“That's not what I mean and you know it,” she said as she moved to help him while shooing Grunt lightly. The mabari looked annoyed for a moment before running off to where Sten was finishing up his own. “You're injured and you packed up _my_ tent? How did you even get it packed so darn fast?”

He grinned as he worked on rolling up his bedroll. “Easy, you packed up most things already. Was surprised to find you did that-- I mean, I knew we were leaving in the morning, but you organized your things already, just a matter of taking down the tent, rolling up the bedding...” He struggled to tie up his bedding, grumbling as he tried to get it.

She looked away from him as she took the bedroll from his hands. She tied the string on the bedroll for him. “I was... really antsy last night. Took me a bit to calm down enough to sleep, so...”

She missed the look of shame on his face. “Atrina--”

“I'm sorry for snapping and pulling away from you when you were worried,” she blurted out as she looked back up at him.

He was stunned by her words, but recovered to shake his head. “No, no, I shouldn't have--”

“And I'm sorry for this,” she said as she took his wrapped hand in hers. “I'm the reason you got hurt--”

“Don't _ever_ think that.” The low tone of his voice startled her. “Don't ever blame yourself for my injuries; my injuries are my own.”

“But if I hadn't froze up--”

“It doesn't matter.” He took her hand with his good one and held it tightly. “Even if you hadn't had frozen up, even if things had been going smooth, I'd jump in front of every sword and every arrow aimed at you,” he stated as fact as his face grew closer to hers. “And I'll own every broken bone and every scar that I get, and I'll wear them with pride.”

With each word her eyes grew wider and wider. The image of Alistair on the ground, covered in blood came back to her mind. “Why?” she breathed out, not fully being able to grasp why he would do that.

“Because I care about you, that's why.” He gave her a look that shook her to the core before he sighed, letting go of her hand. Standing, he took the bedroll from her and placed it with his things. “I don't understand why that seems so hard for you to believe...”

“It's-- it's not...” She bit her lip as she struggled to find the words. In a haste to try and help her think, Atrina started grabbing up more of his things and proceeded to stuff them in a bag. “I know you care for me, I do,” she said as she stood up, holding the bag to her chest. “And I care for you too, but--”

“But not the same?” he asked as he took the bag from her. His voice was steady with no real emotion behind it, surprising her.

Her eyes looked up and was met with a heart wrenching expression. She tore her eyes away from him. “No, that's not--”

“Then what? What is it?” he asked, stepping closer to her.

She felt like a deer caught in headlights as he stood over her. “I- I need... need more time...”

Suddenly he looked remorseful. “Right, you're right...” he mumbled as he ran his hand over his face. “I'm just... I'm sorry, I was... _scared_ tonight... The archdemon...”

She reached up and took his hand from his face. “I know.” She squeezed his hand and watched as he relaxed.

It would have been stupid of her to say she hadn't been afraid, because she had been-- still was! When the archdemon looked at the warden in the game it had scared her then, but not as badly as it had that night, with it _feeling_ so real.

“I guess Duncan was right...” he mumbled, looking down at her. “We can sense them and they can sense us...”

“We'll just have to be more alert now.” She sighed. “It's getting worse, isn't it?”

“It won't get any better until the archdemon is dead, I'm afraid.”

“Joy, and we can't do that until we have allies,” she said with a slight huff. “Well, let's finish.”

The group finished packing everything and left the deserted camp. In a couple of days they would be close enough to where the Dalish were and Atrina had to make a choice.

Risk Alistair almost dying because he would jump in front of her, or leave him behind and take the full damage of whatever attacks them...

Atrina could already hear him arguing with her about it...

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY NEW YEAR~! :D *throws confetti*


	21. Memories into Dreams...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alistair is plagued by strange dreams before Atrina meets the Dalish. Things with the Dalish don't go nearly as well as Atrina hoped...

* * *

 

Alistair sat in a tavern, holding a tankard in between his gloved hands. He felt a slight buzz from the drinks he had earlier, but it still didn't feel like enough. It was the anniversary of the end to the Fifth Blight and it still hurt twelve years later. _Should've been me..._ His hands tightened around the mug.

People around him were trying to drink their own troubles away, war on the edge of everyone's mind. Everyone tried to forget that it seemed the world was ending. Everything around them was chaotic and with the Inquisitor no longer having the anchor, it seemed to make things more difficult.

 _How do you fight a god?_ Alistair mused lightly as he took a drink of his ale.

A sigh left Alistair. Part of him wondered why he was even there. This wasn't a Grey Warden fight... But it affected everyone and everything. Ferelden was already gone, Orlais about to be next. King Teagan Guerrin had died in battle and the rest of Ferelden followed.

“I thought I might find you here.”

He didn't need to glance up to recognize the voice. “I thought you left.”

Morrigan stood before him with a hand on her hip. “I had.”

“Theeen what are you doing here?” he asked as he finally looked up at her.

“I was... _compelled_ to return.”

He smirked. “Your dear old mum forced you, didn't she?”

A scoff left her as she looked away in annoyance. “Enough,” she said coldly before looking back at him. “To the point; Alistair, I have a way to fix all this,”

“Oh really? But why talk to me? It's the Inquisitor that needs the ideas, not me. I'm just a soldier this time,” he said before taking a drink from his mug.

“Oh, this is something you will want to hear, I believe. When I say 'fix all of this', I do not just mean the battle ahead... I mean fix the mistakes of a certain Grey Warden that we both knew...”

That got his attention. His copper brown eyes fixated on her with more alertness, causing her to smirk slightly.

“I may have found out what really happened to her soul, Alistair...”

“It was consumed by the archdemon-- you know this,” he said bitterly before taking another swig of his ale. Why was she having this conversation with him? Did she really hate him that much to tease him like she was? _Atrina had been her friend as well, why would she do this?_

“Oh, but was it really? I believe it was just sent to another place... another realm, if you will.”

He looked skeptical. “What? Like the Fade?”

“No, more like another universe.”

He snorted. “I knew you were crazy, Morrigan, but didn't think you were _that_ crazy. And how could she fix _this_?”

“Some things may happen differently this time,” she said, causing him to scoff. “Look, ever since I stepped into the Well, I have known things-- _felt_ things. She is there, Alistair... and we can bring her _back_.”

He stared at her for a long moment. “...I think I've been drinking too much, because I'm starting to believe you...” he sighed. “All right, what's your plan?”

“I will send you to the other world to collect her, seeing as you have the strongest bond with her. I know where she is, so all you have to do is bring her through the portal. But, be warned, when you step through the portal, she will be sent back to before the battle of Ostagar, to the day she was recruited by your mentor.”

“Wait, so... what will happen to _me_?”

“Well, with luck, this timeline will be erased. The you and I of now will cease to exist, but will be replaced with the versions of us that had the hero with us... In fact, she could be here _now._ ”

He stared at her in shock before looking grave. “So... you're saying I won't have any memories of these past twelve years?”

Morrigan was silent for a moment. “That... I cannot guarantee. I believe you will not remember it as a whole, but you might retain some of the memories. Atrina might as well.”

He narrowed his eyes at her. “What do you mean? There's a chance that I might wake up in the body of my youth?”

She shook her head. “The you of now should cease to exist, as I said, but your memories may show up as dreams. With luck, that will be the same with Atrina, so she can easily be able to fix the mistakes that led her to die.”

Alistair massaged his forehead, starting to get a headache from trying to grasp what she was saying. “So... what? We're not even sure if this would fix anything? She might still die?”

“It is... possible, but where she is now, she already knows what to do.”

“How?”

“The realm she is currently in depicts the events here as... stories.”

“Stories? Wait, wait-- so, you're saying she will know everything? Everything that happened? And that will lead her to fix things?”

“That is the idea, yes.”

“Do you really believe she can change things? That she even _will_?”

“I do.”

Alistair sighed as he looked down at his mug. “And it will really be _her_?”

“Yes, Alistair, it will be the Atrina you love.”

He clinched his eyes shut as he felt his heart beat almost painfully in his chest. How many nights had he wished for a chance to start over with her, to stop her from taking that killing blow? How many lonely nights in a drunken state did he pray and beg to the Maker for something, of _any_ way to see her again? Every night his prayers were answered with silence and an unchanging, miserable life.

His eyes opened wide before he downed the rest of his ale. Slamming the tankard on the table, he stood up as he looked at the witch. “Do _it_ , send me...”

Morrigan smiled. “I thought you might say that...”

Alistair's eyes snapped open as he sat up. Looking around, he realized that he was in his tent, where he should be. Putting a hand to his forehead, his mind tried to process what he had just dreamed.

It was just as clear in his mind as the dream of Atrina fighting the archdemon. His head and heart ached as he kept replaying the dream over in his mind.

Feeling himself start to get lost in the memory of the dream, Alistair quickly got dressed and left his tent. Most of his things had remained packed from the last time they had to move, everyone having agreed to no longer linger in one place too long-- if they could help it.

Alistair grabbed his sword and stepped out of his tent. He was met with the sight of Atrina writing in her journal by the campfire with Grunt at her feet. Before he could stop himself, a sigh of relief left him, causing her to notice him.

When she saw him, she gave him a sleepy smile. “Hey. Bad dream?” she asked, her expression turning to one of concern.

He shrugged as he moved to sit beside her. “Actually, just a strange one, I guess,” he answered as he gave Grunt a pet on the head. The mabari looked up at him and licked his hand, earning a face from the warden. Alistair wiped the saliva on his pants as he looked at Atrina with a small smile.

“Oh?” She tilted her head to the side in interest.

“Uh.” For some reason Alistair didn't want to tell her what all happened. “Well, Teagan was king...”

Her eyes grew wide as she leaned back in surprise. “Really?”

He gave her a half amused smile. “Did I mention it was strange?”

A giggle left her. “Yeah, I think you did.” She smiled as she tapped her pencil to her chin. “Teagan as king... huh, never thought of that... Think he'd be a good king?”

“I'm, uh, not sure. Never really thought about him being king before.”

“Hmm, well, he's got a good heart and cares about people, but I don't think--” Atrina let out a big yawn, causing Alistair to chuckle.

“I think it's time for you to catch some sleep. I'll keep watch now, go on.”

She looked at him with sleepy half-closed eyes. “Are you sure? I can--” She yawned again. “--Keep you company...”

“Atrina, go to sleep.”

She pouted a little before waving her hand. “Fine, fine. Goodnight, Ali.” She stood up and started heading to her tent.

“When did you start calling me 'Ali'?” he asked curiously.

Atrina paused in thought. “Oh... I call you that mentally sometimes I guess... I think, now I can't remember. Why, do you not like it? I won't call you that if you don--”

“No, no! It's fine,” he said, hoping he was quick to reassure her that he wasn't against it. “I was just surprised, is all.”

Atrina let out a breath in relief. “Oh, good. Well, goodnight. Grunt, do you want to come with me or stay out here?”

Grunt looked up at her before laying his head back down. Alistair chuckled a little. “Looks like he wants to keep me company.”

She smiled at them. “Well, you two boys behave now.”

“Yes, ma'am!”

Atrina gave a little wave before entering her tent. The moment the opening of the tent was closed the smile fell from Alistair's face.

Grunt made a noise that sounded almost like a question as he looked up at the warden. Sighing out through his nose, Alistair scratched the war hound behind the ears. “Don't worry about it, boy... just a strange dream, as I said...”

Grunt tilted his head to the side. Alistair gave him a small smile before looking into the fire.

_Memories as dreams, huh?_

 

“According to the map,” Atrina said as after the camp had been packed up the following morning. “We're getting close to where the Dalish are rumored to be, so I think we should go ahead and split up like we talked about.

“Group A will go and meet the Dalish, while Group B will head to Denerim to make sure the path is clear,” she told them. “I don't know how well they will respond to a large group of mostly humans, so Zevran is in group A with me. The Dalish might respond well to elves-- even if we're not Dalish.”

“Hm, it's possible,” Zevran said as he rubbed his chin at the thought.

“Wynne and Morrigan will accompany us as well,” she said before looking at her fellow warden. “Alistair, you'll be in charge of Group B--”

“Wait, I'm not coming with you?” he asked as he looked at her in disbelief.

“And what about me?” Wanda asked as she stepped up next to Alistair.

Atrina held back a sigh. “Guys--”

“You're taking _two_ mages, but no warrior? You don't know what you could come up against there,” Alistair stated.

“Yeah, _Atrina_ ,” Wanda said, giving her a pointed look. “Something _dangerous_ could happen.”

Atrina gave her a look. “Which is _why_ I think Alistair needs to stay behind in case something happens. We need at least one Grey Warden--”

“Oh, how is that a reason--”

“Because I realized it's foolish to put us both at risk all the time!” Atrina stated as she raised her voice.

A look of shock and anger ran across Alistair's face. “This isn't because--”

“ _No_ , Alistair, it has nothing to do with you being the son of Maric,” she replied, only to earn a sigh from him.

He took a step closer to her. “That's... that's not what I _mean._.. Is this about the other night?”

Her eyes widened slightly before she glanced away from him, telling him without words that she knew what he was referring to. “I just... I realize that I need to think about everything in the long run...” she replied. “Also you're still healing and if something were to happen to both of us...”

“There would be no one left to stop the Blight and Loghain,” Wynne spoke up, catching their attention. “Atrina is right, Alistair.”

“What's the reason for leaving _me_?” Wanda asked as she crossed her arms while looking miffed.

“As Alistair said, I have two mages with me. Morrigan personally asked to come along and there might be information for Wynne there.”

“Oh, you're not thinking of asking about Aneirin?”

“There's no harm in asking, Wynne. They might know something.”

“I do agree with Alistair though,” Leliana said, speaking for the first time. “You do need a warrior... What about taking Grunt?”

Grunt barked in agreement as he stepped over to Atrina. She smiled sadly at him. “I don't think that would be a good idea... The Dalish might not take kindly to a mabari...” Grunt whined and hung his head. Atrina knelt down and scratched him behind the ears. “I'll bring you next time.”

Grunt whined once more before huffing. He moved away from her and went to stand beside Alistair. He looked up at him as Alistair sighed. “I don't like this...”

“Alistair, we'll be fine,” Atrina said as she looked at him. “We'll meet you at this point.” She pointed down to the map. “While we were in the last village I got another map of Freleden and marked the same locations,” she said as she handed Alistair the folded map. “If something happens, I even marked where I believe the Dalish are, so you can get to us.”

He took the map while still looking peeved about it. “All right, _fine..._ I can't convince you to change your mind when you give me that look.”

Atrina blinked at him for a moment before shaking her head. “Okay, let's get moving, shall we?” she asked, folding up her map.

Everyone started to travel once more, but Alistair pulled Atrina back lightly. “You think something's going to happen with the Dalish, don't you?” he asked, his expression hard.

She looked back at him slightly stunned. “Why do you--”

“Because you don't want _me_ coming,” he stated with clear annoyance. “You think something dangerous is going to happen and that's why you're leaving me behind. Because of what I said about jumping in front of danger for you.”

Atrina sighed as she tilted her head back. “It's... possible,” she said, earning a scoff from him.

“I can't believe this.” He shook his head as he turned away from her. “I don't need you to keep me out of danger, Atrina. I'm a _warrior_ ; I've been _trained_ for danger!” he reminded as he turned back to her.

“Please, just trust me on this--”

“If you get hurt, I swear to the Maker I'll--”

“You'll _what_?”

He let out a frustrated noise. “You are the _most_ stubborn woman I have _ever_ met!”

“And you are the most stubborn man _I_ have ever met!” Their voices were rising now, causing everyone else to pause. “You are my second, just as you told me a long time ago-- I _need_ you to do as I say, _please_ , Alistair!”

She gave him pleading eyes, so different from the ones she would give him over small things. The desperation in her eyes made his heart clinch, but there was more in her eyes. “...You're afraid,” he said softly.

Atrina didn't flinch, but he could see it. The fear that warped that desperation and twisted it.

“ _...memories may show up as dreams. With luck, that will be the same with Atrina, so she can easily be able to fix the mistakes...”_

That one sentence from his dream came back to him. Glancing away from her for a moment, he found himself looking to Morrigan.

The witch sensed his eyes on her and met his gaze. She glared at him before turning her eyes away, telling him all he needed to know. _Maybe I'm just going crazy..._

“Ali.”

Alistair turned his eyes back to the woman before him. Her brown eyes were softer as they looked at him. “I'll be okay, I promise.” She raised her pinkie to him as she smiled softly, and he almost took it.

But the feeling in his chest remained. He shook his head, not taking her pinkie in his. “I can't make you promise that,” he said softly as he turned away from her.

“But...”

He walked away from her and headed straight for Morrigan. When he stopped in front of her she didn't bother to glance up at him.

“Careful where your eyes linger, Alista--”

“Keep her safe.”

Morrigan blinked before looking up at him, stunned. “What?”

“Keep her safe-- do whatever you have to do, but keep. Her. Safe.”

She stared at him for a moment before scoffing. “Of course I shall keep her safe. We have not come this far just for her to die now.” She rolled her eyes, but her response satisfied him.

Nodding, he turned and walked back to Atrina. Ignoring her hurt expression, he gave her a hard look. “Three days.”

Her expression turned to one of confusion. “Three days?”

“Three days. If you do not send word that you are on your way, then I am coming back for you,” he said as he held up his pinkie to her. “I can promise you _that_.”

Atrina looked like she wanted to protest, but he watched as she gave in. “Fine... three days.” She hooked her pinkie to his and sealed the promise.

His look softened before he placed a hand on her head affectionately. “Good... Be careful.”

“You as well, okay?”

He gave her a soft smile before moving to those that were going on the trip to Denerim. “Let's get going then, we're wasting daylight...”

 

 

“Okay, they're taking too long... we're almost halfway to Denerim now, so we need to go back,” Wanda stated as she stopped walking. “We've only run across bandits once and zero darkspawn, I think it's safe to say that the road to Denerim is clear at this point.”

“Atrina said they should be on their way by now...” Alistair reminded before sighing. “But I agree, we should head back. I gave her three days and we haven't heard from her at all.”

“Me too, I feel as if it shouldn't have taken so long, even with our adventures in the past,” Leliana added.

The three turned to Sten to see his reaction. “Backtracking means more time wasted... but I agree that it seems the Warden is taking far longer than needed.”

Grunt barked before he lead the way back towards the Dalish. Partway through their journey back, a Dalish scout met them, while riding a white deer.

“Oh! A halla!” Wanda gushed at seeing the animal. “It's more beautiful in person!”

“Are you the Grey Warden's companions?” the elf asked.

The sense of dread that Alistair had been feeling intensified. “Yes, has something happened?” he asked.

“She was injured when she went to confront the werewolves. I was sent to find you.”

Alistair's eyes widened. “Werewolves?”

Wanda groaned in frustration. “I told her!”

Alistair chose to ignore Wanda even though he wanted to know what she was going on about. “Take us to her,” he ordered the scout.

The scout rode ahead on his halla and took them down a path that led them much quicker to the Dalish than the path they had been traveling. The moment they were in camp, Mithra greeted them, pointing them in the direction of the infirmary. “Your mages have just stopped the bleeding.”

Alistair and Wanda rushed past her, both eager to see the woman they cared for. Zevran met up with them just outside the infirmary. “Wanda...”

She went straight to him and immediately began asking questions about what happened. Alistair walked past them, refusing to stop until he saw Atrina.

He headed to the cot that Wynne and Morrigan hovered around. He pushed past some healers before pausing at the sight.

Blood, there was a lot of blood that had yet been wiped clean. He almost didn't recognize her with her skin being so pale. Her dark brown hair almost looked black against her skin as it clung to her face with sweat. Instead of their usual pink, Atrina's lips were now as pale as the rest of her skin.

“Come now, you need to drink this to regain your strength,” Morrigan said as she lifted a small bowl to Atrina's lips.

“How did this happen? Who did this?!” Alistair asked, gaining attention from both mages.

Wynne stood up. “Oh, Alistair, Zevran was supposed to keep you out until we got the blood cleaned up...” she said as she moved to him, ready to guide him away from Atrina.

Alistair shrugged off her hands. “I'm not a child, Wynne! I've seen blood before!”

“Yes, but not hers, not like this.”

He moved past her and knelt beside Atrina. Placing his hand on her head he smoothed out her hair. Her eyes opened a little at his touch. He smiled softly at her but she didn't respond.

“She is too weak to talk. She... lost a lot of blood,” Morrigan said quietly as she placed more broth into the small bowl.

Wynne stepped up behind him and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Alistair, please--”

“ _Don't_ ask me to leave, Wynne,” he said without looking back at the mage. His eyes remained on Atrina as he stroked her hair. “I'm never leaving her again...”

Morrigan let out a sigh. “Fine then, make yourself useful. Raise her head for me as I need to keep feeding her for the next five hours.”

Wynne didn't protest anymore when Alistair pulled up a stool and raised Atrina's head without a word. This had to be the first moment she had ever seen Alistair and Morrigan not throwing snide remarks at one another, but instead, working together with a common goal in mind...

Saving Atrina.

As Wynne worked on cleaning the blood off of Atrina and changing her bandages, she told Alistair all that happened since they met up with the Dalish.

“Just before we reached where the werewolves were staying, Witherfang appeared and jumped at Atrina. She was too slow to get out of the way and the wolf bit her...”

“So I didn't hear things when the scout met us... But why injure Atrina?” he asked as he absentmindedly massaged her scalp.

“They wanted her to have reason to help them break the cruse,” Morrigan stated.

“But she was trying to help the Dalish! She had--”

“We _know,_ Alistair, but they didn't know that,” Wynne said, causing him to look at her. “Even with them putting her life on the line, she still fought to save them and not just herself.”

“That sounds like her...”

“She kept pushing herself even though the wound would not close all the way. Every battle we fought, she grew angrier and had a blood lust unlike I have ever seen...” Morrigan said softly as she made Atrina drink.

“She was absolutely terrified, but still... she pressed on.” Wynne looked down at the elf with mournful eyes.

Alistair sighed as he placed his forehead against the top of Atrina's head. “I should have forced the issue of coming with her more...”

“Oh, Alistair, this isn't your fault. You might not have been able to stop this,” Wynne told him, hoping to reassure him.

He raised his head, but he didn't speak. _Atrina knew... I don't know how she knew, but she_ knew _I would have jumped in front of her and taken the bite. I'm terrified right now on what that means..._ he thought as he silently watched Morrigan feed Atrina.

 

Atrina awoke to the stars shining above her. Furrowing her brow in confusion, having been used to waking up in a tent, she looked around.

Next to her head she saw something that looked fluffy. Raising her hand to lightly touch it, she smiled at the softness and familiarity. A small groan left the fluff before she felt it adjust, only to slip from her fingers.

Alistair fell over and groaned louder at both hitting the ground and waking up. At hearing a soft giggle, his head snapped up to see Atrina awake.

A huge feeling of relief came over him. “Thank the Maker...” he said before rising up on his knees and taking her hand in his.

She smiled softly at him. “Hello.” Her voice was weak but neither of them cared.

“Hello, yourself,” he said as he raised a hand to her cheek. He brushed his knuckles against her skin. “How're you feeling?”

Atrina closed her eyes as she leaned a little into his touch. “...I have a weird taste in my mouth and everything is a little... fuzzy? I don't know how else to say it...”

“The weird taste in your mouth has to be because Morrigan had to feed you this broth for five hours straight,” he stated. “Which might add to the fuzziness. You did lose a lot of blood...”

“That explains it...” Atrina mumbled. “How long have you been here?”

“Oh, I don't know... eight hours, give or take.”

Atrina's eyes widened. “What?”

“You didn't send word, so we were on our way here when the scout found us,” he stated, seeing the confusion on her face even in the low lighting. “And when I got here, I helped Morrigan for those five hours-- and _without_ killing her or vice versa. _Shocking_ , I know.”

Atrina laughed a little before wincing. “No, don't be funny, it hurts right now.”

“Sorry, I'll try to restrain myself.” He gave her a smile but looked guilty all the same.

“You know I love it when you make me laugh...” she said softly earning a gentle squeeze from his hand. “But you and Morrigan working together... Heh, that reminds me...”

Alistair raised an eyebrow. “Of what?”

She smiled at him. “I had a strange dream, you and Morrigan were together.”

“Whoa! Together together or _together_ together?”

She laughed again only to wince. “What happened to restraining?”

“It's a serious question! Not my fault you thought it was funny,” he said before chuckling when she weakly slapped his arm.

“No. Ew, no... Just, you were in a tavern talking.”

“Talking? You mean like civilized individuals? I find that hard to believe.” _That sounds oddly familiar..._

“I don't know, it seems like it will happen eventually, though you two were older anyways, so that might factor into it.”

Alistair raised an eyebrow. _Okay, it_ is _familiar..._ “Older? How much older are we talking?”

Atrina bit her bottom lip lightly as she thought about it. “I don't know... maybe about ten years or so? Your hair was more slicked back, which surprised me, honestly. And you had some scars on your face.”

“Scars?”

Atrina nodded a little. “Yeah... well not any bad ones that messed up your dashing looks,” she said with a small grin. “You had a small one here...” She lifted her hand the right side of his chin and stroked the spot where the scar had been. “And a sort of longish one...” she said as she moved her hand to his left cheek “Right about... here.” She lightly stroked a little under his cheek bone.

His cheek twitched lightly at her touch as her fingers lingered. He watched as her eyes narrowed slightly as she stared up at him. For a moment she seemed confused before closing her eyes. Alistair knew the look well by now, she felt she was missing something she should know. He wanted to ask, but he knew it was pointless. She would dodge the question.

She shook her head a little as her hand dropped back down to rest on her heart. “You were upset though...”

Alistair scoffed lightly. “Of course I was, I was talking with Morrigan,” he said with a slight shudder. He hoped for another smile to grace her face at his actions.

Instead she frowned slightly. “No, that wasn't it.” She furrowed her brow in thought as she tried to remember. “You were talking about me... I... I think I was dead.”

His eyes widened a little.“What?” _All right, hitting a little too close now._ “Then how were you seeing it? Were you a spirit?”

“It was a dream, Ali,” she said with a small smile. “I was viewing it like it was a...” She trailed off, looking for the word. “Um, like a stage play.”

“Oh, well...”

Her smile grew a little. “Though, it was more close and personal-- and no, I'm sure I wasn't a spirit,” she said teasingly. “Though, Morrigan was saying something about bringing me back...” she trailed off _._

“Bring you back?” Alistair repeated, fully enthralled now. “How? What happened?” _That's the dream_ I _had! Maker, how? How could she possibly have the same dream as me?_

“I--”

“Alistair, I'm here to drag you away so you can actually get some rest,” Wanda said, coming up to them. “I know you care about her, but she was my friend first and-- Atrina! You're awake!” she exclaimed when she noticed Atrina had her eyes open.

Alistair and Atrina's heads turned to look at Wanda as the mage walked up to the cot. Atrina gave her a small smile. “Hey.”

“Don't 'hey' me!” Wanda said as she placed her hands on her hips. “Oooh, I could _strangle_ you for doing this!”

Atrina winced before moving to sit up. “I know, I'm--” She let out a hiss of pain before Alistair forced her back down.

“Oh no, you're going to reopen your wound again. Wynne and Morrigan both stated you're going to be out a few days,” he said as he lightly scolded her.

Atrina's eyes widened. “But... we need to get to Denerim.”

“That can wait,” Wanda stated as she sat down on a stool that was near the cot. “We can't have you getting worse...”

Atrina shook her head. “No... no, someone has to go, we have to get Genitivi's help,” she stated before an idea came to her. “You two need to find him.”

Alistair's eyes widened. “Are you joking? I'm _not_ leaving you again!”

She looked at him in surprise. “Alistair, I'll be--”

“Don't you dare say you'll be all right, that's what you said before!” He stood up before gesturing to her. “And now look at you! If I had been there–”

“Then _you_ would've gotten hurt!” Atrina raised her voice as she moved to sit up. Wanda had to force her back down. “You would have jumped in front of me and--”

“Of course I would have! But what does it matter if I got hurt?” Alistair asked, not understanding her concern.

Atrina shook her head as she tried to move once more. “It matters to me! Your arm is still weak--”

“And it's healing just fine--”

“You still can't hold a shield--”

“All _right_ ,” Wanda said, raising her voice above theirs. “That's enough! Now, _stop_ moving so much, Atrina. Getting upset won't help you heal faster,” she told her calmly.

Atrina let out a huff. “Right, look, we have to save Eamon and the only way to do that is to get the Urn,” she said before gesturing to herself. “I can't go because of my injuries, but _you_ can. I trust you, both of you. Take who you need and find Genitivi so we can save Eamon before it's too late.”

Alistair opened his mouth to retort but Wanda beat him to it. “Are you sure this is what you want?”

Atrina nodded. “Yes...” she said before looking back at Alistair, giving him a hard look. “And that's an _order_.”

His wide eyes turned into a glare as he clinched his fist at his side. “Fine...” he said through tight lips. “We'll go to Denerim.” He turned and walked away without so much as a glance back.

Atrina let out the breath she had been holding as she rested her head on the pillow. Glancing at Wanda, she noticed the disappointed look her friend was sending her. “What?”

“You didn't have to be so harsh to him... he stayed by your side for eight hours...”

Atrina closed her eyes as she flinched. “I know...” she said softly as she put her hand over her eyes. “And I feel terrible, but he won't listen to me otherwise...”

“It's because he lo--”

“Wanda, I _know_...”

The mage let out a huff. “Then why don't you do something about it? Ever since he kissed you, you've been dancing around him!”

Atrina looked at her with a glare. “You think I like this? You think I'm happy that I keep pushing him away? I'm not even trying to go home now-- I just want to know that this is all _real_ before I can commit to him. I can't take the heartbreak of waking up to find that everything I had-- that _we_ had-- was nothing more than a figment of my imagination,” she whispered harshly, afraid someone might overhear them.

Wanda's eyes widened. “...I think I understand,” she whispered before sighing. “All right, fine, I won't bring it up again... I can... understand not wanting to find out it's all a dream...”

Atrina sighed at seeing her friend look so crestfallen. “Look... I'm happy for you that you're able to enjoy all of this, in fact, I _envy_ it...”

Wanda glanced at her lap. “Well... it just seems easier to let go, you know? There's... nothing really back on Earth that I want to go back to...”

“Same...” Atrina let out a sigh. “But if we ended up back home.... let's face it, you have a more easier life waiting for you than I do...”

Wanda rubbed her forehead. “I know and I think that's why I want you to just have fun with this... But I get it now, you can't because if this turns out to be a coma like I suspect--”

“When I wake up, I'll fall back into the depression I was in after Sam died...” Atrina finished her sentence and they shared a look.

“So... you need something to show you that this is actually real before you can finally let go of it all...”

Atrina nodded. “Right... you'd think me being attacked by a wolf and almost turning into a werewolf was enough... but it's not. I can't explain it... Maybe if _you_ believed that this was real too, I'd have an easier time... I don't know...”

Wanda gazed at her for a moment before standing up with a sigh. “Well... I think I need a moment where I think I'm actually going to die, because I haven't really _had_ that moment yet.” She shrugged. “Anyways, I guess we should get some rest before leaving tomorrow... Wynne and Morrigan should probably stay here with you so they can keep an eye on you.”

Atrina nodded. “Okay, sounds good...” she said before closing her eyes, exhaustion already starting to claim her. “Be safe... watch out for him, will you?”

Wanda smiled softly. “Of course. 'Night.”

“'Night... Oh! Wanda?” Atrina called back, causing Wanda to turn back to her. “Remind me to never _ever_ wear Dalish armor again.... it's why I was so badly hurt...”

Wanda sighed. “Yeah, not really surprised. Goodnight, Atrina,” she said before walked away from the infirmary.

As she walked away, Wynne was coming back to work on healing Atrina's wounds once more. “How is she?” the elder mage asked.

“She's better, just really tired. Look, did you see where Alistair went?”

“I saw him heading towards where they keep the hallas. I had tried to talk to him, but he seemed upset and angry. What did Atrina do this time?”

“Ordered him to Denerim so we can save the arl,” Wanda explained in a short response.

“Ah... I see.”

“I'm going to talk to him, just focus on Atrina, please,” Wanda said before bidding her mentor goodnight.

She walked over to where the hallas were kept and found Alistair leaning against the fencing. “Mind if I join you?”

Alistair glanced at her before sighing. “No.”

Wanda leaned against the fence next to him and they stood in silence for a long moment, just watching the halla sleep. She was the first to speak. “Alistair, I know she's stubborn--”

He scoffed as he absentmindedly picked at the fencing. “No kidding.”

“But she means well,” she said as if he didn't interrupt her.

“'Means well'?” he repeated as he looked at her in disbelief. “She almost _dies_ without me and then expects me to be fine with leaving her behind-- _again_!” He stood up straight and gripped the wood tightly, anger radiating off of him. “I get it, I _do_ , we need to find the Urn to save Eamon, but how can she expect--”

“Because she _needs_ you to be strong,” Wanda cut him off. “You're her second, right? You have to be able to make the tough choices when she can't be there.”

He looked at her in surprise before glowering at the ground. “...I _know_ that, but...”

Wanda put a hand on his shoulder causing him to look back up at her. “She _trusts_ you to do this. Morrigan and Wynne will get her back to full strength while we're gone. We can leave Sten to help keep her safe.”

Alistair closed his eyes as he sighed. He hung his head. “Right... leave Grunt as well. We should be fine with just you, me, Zevran, and Leliana.”

Wanda nodded as she removed her hand from his shoulder. “Sounds good. We'll get to Denerim and back before you know it,” she said with a smile.

Alistair glanced at her before smiling a little in return, looking a little more relaxed. “Right... well, we better get going then...”

Wanda blinked at him. “What? _Now_?”

“Yes now, why wait? We all slept and the sun will be up in a few more hours. We can't waste time.”

Wanda slumped her shoulders and pouted. “Ugh, I didn't want to go now.”

Alistair rolled his eyes. “Wanda.”

“All right, all right, I'll go grab Zevran and Leliana,” she sighed as she walked off.

Alistair let out his own sigh as he looked back at the halla. How long would it take to get to Denerim and back? To even find Genitivi once they were there?

“Excuse me, Warden.”

“Hm?” Alistair turned to see one of the Dalish women walk up to him. “Oh, yes?”

“We weren't properly introduced earlier.” She gave him a kind smile. “I am Keeper Lanaya, the leader of this clan.”

His eyes widened as he stepped away from the halla pen. “Oh, well, um...” Unsure of how to really address her, he bowed to her. “It is an honor to meet you, I am Alistair. I apologize for not greeting you earlier.”

Lanaya's smile softened as she bowed her head in return. “I understand. If it had been one of my own, I would have focused on them before doing anything else. Warden Atrina saved many of our hunters doing what she did. I am relieved to hear that she will survive her wounds.”

Alistair nodded. “Yes...” A sigh left him. “Some of us are leaving to go to Denerim. I hope it's all right if she remains here, at least until we return.”

“We will make sure Warden Atrina is safe, you have my word, Warden,” Lanaya said before motioning a scout to her. “I know we are to help fight against the Blight, but that is more out of duty. We know the forest well enough that I believe one of my hunters, Caron, can take you to Denerim quicker than any human made map.”

Alistair's eyes widened in surprise. “I-- Thank you, my lady-- uh-- Keeper Lanaya...”

Caron stepped forward. “I will also update your maps to show you safe ways through Ferelden to help you travel safer and quicker.” The elf smirked. “We know how to avoid the shemlens raging war on one another.”

“Thank you, truly.” Alistair smiled as he bowed to them. “You are helping us greatly. I'll make sure the others are ready to go when you are.”

“I am ready to travel when you give the word, Warden.”

“Dareth shiral, Caron, and may the Dreadwolf never hear your steps,” Lanaya said, earning a bow from the hunter before he left to the edge of the camp. The keeper turned to Alistair. “And to you as well, Warden Alistair, safe journey.”

“Thank you, and you as well for when you travel.” He bowed to her once more before heading to the others were waiting for him.

“Are you going to say goodbye to Atrina?” Wanda asked when he joined them. “I mean, she's asleep, but she wouldn't mind you waking her...”

He looked towards where Atrina was and saw Wynne and Morrigan tending to her. Shaking his head, he turned back to the others. “No, because I won't be able to leave her if I talked to her again,” he stated as he walked around them. “Come on, let's get this over with.”

They followed Caron into the forest as Alistair silently prayed they would find Genitivi quickly.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, soooo I skipped all of the Dalish... X'D I, uh, really hate that quest in the game. I started writing it and everything... buuuut it just made me annoyed and not wanting to write at all, sooo, yeah... But you get the gist of it, right? X'D


	22. Smelly Homes and Bleeding Mages

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Events in Denerim do not go as planned... Acting classes were NOT included in Templar Training.

* * *

 

 

Atrina awoke to the bustling sounds of the Dalish clan. A groan left her as she raised a hand to rub her eyes.

“Ah, you awaken, good,” Morrigan's voice said as Atrina blinked at the sunlight shining down.

“Morning, Morrigan,” Atrina said, her voice cracking a little. Her mouth was dryer than usual, causing her to wince.

Without a word, Morrigan helped her sit up as she handed her a water pouch. Atrina winced as her stomach stretched a little, but managed to nod her thanks.

“How are you feeling?” the mage asked as Atrina took a good mouthful of water.

Swallowing, Atrina let out a breath. “Better, I guess... Things don't feel as fuzzy as they did last night.”

A ghost of a smile graced Morrigan's lips. “Good. Now, I need to put some ointment on your wounds.”

Atrina nodded as Morrigan began to undo her bandages. In that moment, she realized the only thing keeping her from displaying her chest, was her breast strap. She flushed a little before wincing as Morrigan worked on her. A sigh left her as she glanced around at the Dalish camp. A frown appeared on her face. “Where are the others?”

“Wynne is speaking to Aneirin, while Sten has taken to staying near the edge of the camp.”

Atrina felt a warm tongue on her hand, causing her to glance down to see Grunt next to her cot. “Hey, Grunt,” she said as she scratched the dog under his chin. “...Did Alistair and the others leave already?” Atrina asked as she glanced at Morrigan.

Morrgain finished undressing her wounds before rubbing the green ointment on her wound. Atrina shivered a little as the salve sent a chill through her. “They left last night. It seemed Alistair did not want to wait for the morning.”

“Oh...” Atrina's frown returned as she thought back to their last conversation. _Is he that mad at me that he couldn't say goodbye?_ she thought, feeling hurt.

“Now that we're alone...” Morrigan began in a quieter tone, recapturing Atrina's attention. “I have been studying mother's grimoire. Do you wish to hear what I have found?”

Atrina raised a brow as she looked back at the mage. “I'm surprised you haven't said anything before. You've had it awhile-- and we've been alone several times.”

“I had to be sure of what it said,” Morrigan stated before sighing. “'Tis... not what I expected. I had hoped for a collection of her spells... a map of the power she commands. But this is _not_ it.”

Atrina looked at her with concern. “What is it?”

Morrigan went on to explain about the grimoire actually being more of a journal or a diary. The more she explained about what she had read from the journal, the more Atrina remembered. She felt both shock and familiarity about what Morrigan discovered.

_I really forgot this... just like I forgot about the werewolves with the Dalish... Can I really kill Flemeth though? I still remember her being Mythal... I need to write more. The closer I get to things, the faster I forget about what happens. Maker, I can't even remember how Origins ends anymore..._

“Atrina?”

Her head snapped up to see Morrigan waiting for an answer. “Oh, um... w-what do you want to do about this?”

“I think there's only one course of action that can be done; we must kill Flemeth,” Morrigan stated, looking absolute about her decision as she wiped her hands clean of the salve.

“But... she's Flemeth and your mother--”

“Who will try to possess me the moment there is a chance. I have no illusions that killing her now will actually end her. She is more powerful than myself and I assume will have a way to come back, but killing her will force her to wait until she's at full strength once more to come after me.”

“Giving you enough time to be prepared in the future?”

Morrigan relaxed a little, looking relieved as she worked on re-bandaging Atrina. “Yes, exactly... Will you help me, Atrina? I... I don't believe I could go with you if you do this... I--”

She took her hand, causing Morrigan to slightly jump and almost take back her hand from her. Atrina felt surprised when Morrigan held back, but she grasped the woman's hand gently, in case she decided she had enough of the caring moment. “I understand, Morrigan. I wouldn't expect you to risk your safety. I'll go when I am able.”

Morrigan remained tense, but seemed more at ease. “I... thank you. The quicker this can be done the more my mind can be at ease...”

“It might have to wait until we make sure Eamon survives, but I promise to help you, just like you've been helping me.” Atrina gave her a bright smile.

Morrigan looked at her with a critical eye, expecting to see signs of deceit. When she found none, her expression softened. “All right...” she said before finally taking back her hand. She held it for a moment, seeming unsure of how to make of the exchange.

Not a moment passed before she seemed to remember herself, her soft look turning into her devoid of emotions look. “Well, now you need your rest. No telling how long the others will be, especially with the dimwit leading them,” she said as finished with the bandages before she stood.

Atrina gave her an exasperated look. “You know I hate it when you talk about him like that-- just as much as I hate it when he talks of you that way.”

“I cannot help how he is,” Morrigan huffed lightly as she gathered her things. “'Tis not my fault you are blinded by your feelings for him.”

Atrina felt herself heat up at the comment before she huffed back. “Listen, my feelings on him are not--”

“Oh, save your excuses for him.” She gave her a pointed look. “'Tis a wonder why he keeps persisting. I had even asked him one time about how it seemed unwise for two Grey Wardens to fraternize-- do you know what he said to me?”

“Caboodle,” Atrina commented automatically as she found a tunic left for her. She slipped it on with slow movements, while still wincing and flinching as her stomach was forced to stretch. “Ow...” she mumbled before breathing out when her shirt was on. Untucking her hair from the shirt, she glanced at Morrigan, to see her giving her a peculiar look. “What?”

“...You two are more alike than I had feared...”

Atrina blinked at her before giggling. “That just seems like something he'd say.”

Morrigan narrowed her yellow eyes at her, causing Atrina to feel self conscious. It had just been a slip of the tongue. She never overheard any of the conversations her companions had like she could in the game. Tugging on a strand of her hair, she cleared her throat. “Um, what were you going to say?”

The witch still looked at her with suspicion, but chose not to dwell further. “He seemed to not realize the possible sacrifice either of you might have to make. I... feel it is wise for you to keep your distance, Atrina...” her voice softened. “To... avoid possible heartbreak.”

Atrina looked away from Morrigan as she felt her chest tighten. Wasn't that why she had originally wanted to keep Alistair from falling for her? To protect herself as well as him? “I... I think I'm failing that, Morrigan...” Her throat felt unusually tight as she confessed. Her face twisted a little. “I already care for him  _so_  much...” She clinched her eyes shut as a sudden wave of emotion started coming over her.

A tentative hand was placed on her shoulder, causing her to look up in surprise to see Morrigan sitting next to her once more. No words were exchanged. No, 'then why do you keep pushing him away?'s. No snide remarks about her feelings...

A sob escaped Atrina as the palms of her hands were practically buried into her eyes. She loved him. She truly loved Alistair. “But I want it to be _real._..” she said in between her sobs. “All of it-- e-everything...”

Her stomach started hurting more, but she didn't care. Maybe she should feel pain for what she was doing, for how she felt...

“Shh, take this...” Morrigan placed a vial to her lips and had her drink it. “Sleep for now... you will make your wounds worse if you keep at this.”

The moment Atrina took a sip from the vial she felt drowsy. “What...” Glancing at Morrigan, she let her lead her back down onto the cot. Her body relaxed as she didn't fight the sudden sleep that wanted to claim her. The last thing she saw was Morrigan looking torn about something.

 _What... has you looking that way... Morrigan?_ Her eyes closed and a dreamless sleep took her.

 

Even with their Dalish guide, it took them longer than Alistair would have liked to reach Denerim. To give Caron credit, the journey was much faster than it would have been if they had taken the Imperial Highway. In fact, they were even able to make it past bandits that had been near where they had originally stopped, waiting for anyone on the road.

When the walls of Denerim were in sight, Caron stayed behind.

“I prefer to avoid going into your shemlen cities,” he said as they paused at the edge of the forest. “They reek and I am in no mood to deal with the guards. Safe travels, Warden.”

“Will we see you again?”

“I will remain close for contact, I will be the-- what you might call-- 'the emissary' between you and my clan.”

“Thanks again for taking us this far,” Wanda said with a grin. “And for updating our maps. Our time traveling should be cut greatly now.”

Caron smiled in return. “I hope you find what you seek here.”

 _As do we,_ Alistair thought as they made their way to the city.

“All right,” Wanda said, pulling out a journal. “According to what Atrina found at Redcliffe, Genitivi's place should be past the market place and near The Wonders of Thedas.”

“I might know about where that is,” Alistair said with a fond smile. “Arl Eamon took me there once and got me a golem doll...” He looked at the others to see them all giving him amused looks. Clearing his throat, he looked away as he blushed. “I was-- uh, real little, of course-- Anyways, let's find Genitivi,” he said as he led the way, refusing to look at their teasing grins.

“I was worried that you'd be brooding forever,” Wanda said with a slight chuckle as she joined his side. “You've been really quiet the whole way here.”

A sigh left him involuntarily. “I'm still...” He hesitated. As much as he liked to think he was best friends with Atrina, Wanda was clearly her best friend. What could he say to her that she wouldn't repeat later?

Wanda frowned. “Still upset with Atrina? Well, I don't blame you. Ever since you confessed and kissed her, she's been acting irrationally, trying to keep you safe.” She rolled her eyes.

He scratched his cheek as he glanced away from her. “Of course you'd know about that...” he mumbled.

“Alistair, you realize you can talk to me about her, right? I mean, I know what she's thinking and her motives behind most of the things she does.”

A light hum left him. “Right, and you wouldn't tell her anything I said?” He gave her a skeptical look.

“Unless it was something dangerous that you were doing to yourself or others, then no, I wouldn't.” She shook her head at the surprise expression he sent her. “Give me a little more credit, Alistair.”

He glanced away from her. Would it really be a good idea to ask her about Atrina? She was right, even though he still couldn't figure out _how_ they could be as close as they were after only meeting for a brief moment at Ostagar. Wanda seemed to know Atrina inside and out almost-- something he desperately wished he did.

He sighed as he looked back at her. “I--” he began before realizing they had just walked into the market place. “We'll... discuss this later. For now, let's get to Genitivi.”

Luckily it didn't take them too long to find the house near The Wonders of Thedas. He knocked on the door and was surprised when a man, much younger than he was expecting, answered. “Um, hello, is this Brother Genitivi's house?”

The man's eyes widened. “Brother Genitivi? Yes, uh, this is his home. Do you have business with him?”

“So, you're not him, then?” Wanda asked with narrowed eyes. Alistair glanced at her curiously.

“Um, no, I am Weylon, his assistant. If you're looking for him, I'm sorry to say, I haven't heard from him in weeks. It is so unlike him. I am afraid something has happened. Genitivi's research into the Urn of Sacred Ashes may have led him into danger.”

“Blast it,” Alistair mumbled. This was supposed to have been an easy and quick trip. Find Genitivi, retrieve the ashes, and get back to Atrina so they could go and heal Eamon. _Weylon_ must _have some idea of where he might be..._ “May we come in?”

“Yes, it seems it would be best if we discussed this away from outside ears,” Leliana commented in a low voice. They were in Denerim after all, Loghain was just at the royal palace. “Eyes and ears are everywhere, you know.”

Weylon seemed hesitant. “I-- yes, come in...” He opened the door further and stepped aside to let them in. A strong stench hit them as they entered the home.

Wanda gagged and put her hands over her nose and mouth. “Did something _die_ in here?”

“Ah, yes-- sorry about that. I think a rat or something got stuck behind the wall of the house and the Alienage wall. This house is right up against it...” Weylon said as he closed the door. “I've been keeping the windows open 'til just earlier when it rained...”

Alistair turned back to him as he did his best to ignore the smell. “When did you last hear from Genitivi?”

“As I said, it's been weeks. Why are you seeking him?”

“We need the Urn, it's life or death,” Wanda stated. “What makes you think he's in danger? Perhaps he found the Urn and just got distracted with studying it.”

“I know him, he would have sent word,” Weylon stated before sounding frantic. “I- I tried to send help, but some knights from Redcliffe came looking for him not long ago. I sent them after Genitivi-- to where I last heard from him, but they too have disappeared.”

“Where did you send them?” Alistair asked. “Maybe we can find out something--”

“No! I won't send you to your deaths. This search is cursed! Some things are not meant to be found, I know that now.”

Alistair stepped up to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Look, we need the ashes to save Arl Eamon. I'm willing to risk whatever happens to find it. Please, tell us where you sent the knights.”

Weylon sighed, looking forlorn. “So be it... All Genitivi said before he left was that he would be staying in an inn near Lake Calenhad, investigating the area.”

Alistair released Weylon's shoulder and rubbed his hand over his face. “You've got to be kidding me... That's weeks away!”

“It seems we shall be going back towards Redcliffe...” Leliana commented.

“Wait,” Wanda said, looking at Weylon with a critical eye. “How do you know those knights disappeared?”

Weylon became nervous suddenly. “I- I, well, they haven't sent word--”

“And they should send you word? Seems they would be more focused on retrieving the Urn, yes?” Zevran asked with a raised eyebrow.

“I... n-no-- I mean--”

“He's lying,” Wanda stated as she crossed her arms. “He's not really Weylon.”

Alistair looked at her in surprise. “How do you know that?”

“Truse me,” she said, sending a knowing smirk to Alistair.

Weylon jumped at the mage, pulling out a dagger. Wanda screamed as she fell to the ground and Weylon jabbed the dagger into her stomach.

Alistair quickly pulled him off of her and bashed him with his shield, his arm only aching a little in protest. Weylon stumbled back before gasping. He fell onto his knees before falling face first onto the floor. Zevran stood behind him, wiping his blade clean.

A whimper brought their attention to Wanda. Leliana was at her side, pressing her hands on the stab wound. “She's losing blood.”

“Why haven't you healed it?” Alistair asked as he knelt down and rummaged through his pack for bandages. He pulled out everything he had.

Tears streamed down Wanda's eyes and into her hair. “I- I tried! It- it's not wo-working!”

Zevran knelt down at her side and removed Leliana's hands from her stomach. He tore open Wanda's robe, causing a whimper to leave her. “ _Brasca_! The blade was poisoned!” He picked up the dagger Weylon used and licked it before spitting to the side. “Common poison, I have an antidote.”

Pulling out his pack, he found a vial of green liquid. “This will sting, mi amor,” he said softly before pouring the whole vial into her wound.

Wanda screamed and her back arched. Zevran wrapped his arms around her shoulders and moved her to lay against his lap. He ran his fingers through her hair as he whispered against her head, words to try and soothe her as he forced her still.

She calmed to only whimpers and gasps. A sigh left Zevran as he looked at the others. “We'll need to sew the wound before giving her a potion to help the healing...”

“I'll do it. Alistair, you look around to see if we can find some idea of where Genitivi  _really_  went,” Leliana said as she pulled out a needle and thread for the wound.

Alistair nodded as he stood. It would be a bit before Wanda was ready to move again so he had some time to search thoroughly. It wasn't until he went into the back room that he found anything worthwhile, however. The bedroom was in shambles, books on the floor, the chair to the desk was overturned, and the smell from before was stronger in that room than any other.

 _Wanda was right... no way did this man actually live here..._ he thought before pausing when he saw a mound, that looked oddly like the shape of a human body, on the floor. It was covered by a blanket in front of the bed. “Well, that explains the smell...” he mumbled as he knelt down at the mound. Carefully he pulled back the sheet as he held his breath. _But are you Genitivi?_

He wasn't an expert on dead bodies, but if he had to guess, the man under the sheet had been dead for a few days. Holding back a gag, he lowered the sheet. “May Andraste guide you to the Maker...”

He stood from the ground and moved back to the desk. Only thing he really found was that Genitivi did indeed have an assistant named Weylon. “Bet you're the real Weylon, aren't you?” Alistair mumbled as he glanced back at the mound. Letters were discovered of Genitivi giving small reports back to his assistant, giving Alistair hope that the researcher was still alive.

But nothing gave clue as to how to find Genitivi or the Urn. Most things on the desk were torn up. A sigh left him as he moved from the desk. Looking around the room, a chest by the bed, caught his eyes.

Moving to it, he found that the lock had been forced open. “Hmm, what did fake Weylon find in here?”

Opening the chest, he discovered a thick, leather-bound journal. Sifting through the pages, he hardly found anything useful, until he opened to a page that mentioned a village that wasn't on any map. A small map of the Frostback Mountains had been drawn on the next page, giving an extremely rough idea where the village might be. Closing the journal, he stood up and left the room.

“Apparently, Genitivi went to a village called 'Haven' in the Frostbacks,” he said as he rejoined the others. “I think that's where we need to start.”

“We should send word to the others,” Leliana said as she worked on packing up what was not used to help Wanda. “Atrina will want to know.”

The mage herself was bandaged and, with Zevran's help, currently sitting up. She held her torn robes around her tightly. “She might also insist on going on ahead...”

A sigh left Alistair. “No doubt about that...”

“I need to change,” Wanda said as Zevran helped her to stand. She winced as she moved. “...Is that the room back there?”

“Yes, but you don't want to use that. I found out what that smell was... looks like the fake Weylon didn't particularly like the real one...”

“Ew, and he just, just left him there?” Leliana asked as her face twisted into disgust.

“Apparently so. We need to report this to the city guard.”

“Leave that to me, we don't want to draw unnecessary attention to ourselves.” Leliana left the house after leaving some clothes for Wanda to change into.

“I bet the fake Weylon is from Haven,” Wanda said as she and Zevran moved into another room. “We need to make sure Atrina doesn't go off without us because that place will be full of dangers.”

“Right... I'll get started on a letter then, I suppose.”

“Oh! Tell her to meet us at Lake Calenhad, where the fake Weylon tried to send us... That way we can-- ahh... a- appease her wanting to go on ahead, but keep her from  _actually_  leaving us behind,” Wanda called from the other room with little whimpers of pain mixed in.

“We won't be able to travel until you heal more, Wanda,” Zevran stated as Alistair found a quill, ink, and paper.

“B-But we need to travel--”

“You're starting to sound like Atrina,” Alistair called back as he sat down at the table.

Wanda let out a huff at his words. “I'll admit, I'm just as stubborn as her! But we really can't waste time, it will takes us maybe a month to even get to Haven, especially from here.”

An annoyed groan left Alistair. “I know that.”

“Wanda, amor, you're no help to Atrina or anyone if you do not take it easy.”

Alistair half listened as Zevran convinced Wanda that she actually needed time to heal and that taking more health potions wasn't exactly good for her.

Alistair stared down at the blank parchment paper. The letter needed to be firm and to the point... and he was unsure how to go about it. The trip to Denerim almost felt like a waste now-- it would have been a complete waste if he hadn't found Genitivi's journal, but even the unknown village called Haven was a shot in the dark.

_What if we never find Genitivi or the Urn? Eamon will eventually die... We can't expect the mages to sustain him forever..._

An aggravated sigh left him as he begun to write. Haven seemed to be their only answer to the problem. If they could just find where it was exactly in the Frostbacks...

Alistair paused before looking back at the journal next to him on the table. Pulling it over to him, he opened it and flipped through the pages. When he found nothing more useful, he pushed the book away from him. Tapping his finger on the table, he glanced around the room, almost as if something would stand out to him.

His eyes landed on the fake Weylon's body.

He stared at it for a moment before a soft groan left him. Standing, he moved to the body and started to search it.  _If he was actually from Haven, like Wanda suspects, he must have a map or something..._

His search was not in vain when he pulled out a yellowed folded paper. Unfolding it, a grin came over his features. “Ah-ha!”

“What? What did you find?” Wanda asked as she and Zevran reentered the room. She was now wearing a common and plain dress, while looking utterly uncomfortable in it.

“Our dear friend here just gave us the exact location of Haven!” he exclaimed as he moved over to them, showing them the map. “It even has a 'Temple of Andraste' marked on it! This could  _actually_ be it!”

“Really? Let me see that!” Wanda took the map from him and looked it over. “Wow! So that's how...”

Alistair looked at her in confusion before glancing at Zevran to see him mirroring his expression. “Well, I'll get back to writing Atrina and the others.” He sat back down at the table and finished the letter.

Leliana entered just as he signed the bottom of the page. “We should move before the guards come.” Quickly they gathered items they deemed necessary before leaving the house.

“Can we rest in a tavern for the night?” Wanda asked as they walked.

“Well, I don't see--”

“You, ser,” a soldier said, walking up to Alistair. “I recognize you... from Ostagar.”

_Uh-oh..._

“Andraste's blood, you're a Grey Warden! You killed my friend-- and good King Cailan! I demand satisfaction, ser.”

 _If Atrina were here she'd lie her way out of it..._ Alistair thought before looking surprised. “What? A Grey Warden? No, no, I'm just a stable-hand that's hoping to be part of Loghain's army!”

“Yes, Ser Knight,” Wanda said, stepping forward. “I met him on the way here to Denerim, while I passed through Highever. He was so chivalrous and kind, that he offered to escort me the rest of the way here, keeping me safe from bandits and such.

“We were actually on the way here when we heard the horrible news about Ostagar and what happened to the King-- Maker, rest his soul. I almost burst into tears at the news! My valiant guide comforted me and promised he would get me here to my family, killing any darkspawn that might cross our path-- luckily we didn't come across any of those wretched beasts. But he kept me safe and I have _just_ gotten him to agree to receive a reward for his act of kindness and bravery.” Wanda placed her hand on Alistair's arm and leaned into him a little. “I know my grandparents would love to meet such a brave man.” She fluttered her eyelashes up at Alistair for added affect.

Alistair stared at her wide-eyed before realizing it was his turn to speak. “Um, well, I told you before, dear lady, I need no reward. Any gentleman would do this for any lady he meets--”

“Oh, _nonsense_! We must at least pay for your food and lodging until you become part of the Regent's army!”

The knight in front of them cleared his throat nervously. “I... my apologies, ser... Too much to drink, I suppose... Y-yes, too much ale... Please, pardon me, my lady. Good luck to you, son.” He bowed to them a few times before walking off.

Once he was out of sight, Alistair let out a breath. “Maker, that was close...”

“That was a wonderful performance,” Leliana said as she and Zevran rejoined them. They both looked about ready to fall over in laughter.

“Yes, yes! Bravo!” Zevran clapped a little while sporting a large grin. “Truly, Wanda, you have a gift!”

“Thank you, thank you!” Wanda bowed a little before wincing. “Oooh, shouldn't bow...”

“How?” Alistair said, causing them to turn to him. “How are _both_ you and Atrina good at that? Just-- just coming up with a story out of thin air.”

Wanda grinned broadly. “It's one of our many shared talents. We even bonded over it in Ostagar.”

Alistair gave her a dumbfounded expression. “You-- you two weren't even--” He stopped short as he felt a headache start form in the back of his head. “Fine, fine, use that story.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. _I_ _t's not as if_ I'm _the one that Atrina spent most of her time with at Ostagar or anything,_ he thought sarcastically before shaking his head. “I'm sorry, Wanda, but I don't think we can stay at a Tavern tonight...”

“I concur, it was good thing you hadn't decided to wear your _actual_ armor...” Leliana spoke in a quiet tone.

He frowned a little. It was highly likely that if he had worn his grey warden armor, the whole city of Denerim might have come down on them. _I hadn't considered that..._

Wanda pouted a little before sighing. “Fiiiine... off to the woods then...” she said with a grumble as they started heading out of Denerim.

Alistair pulled out the letter he had written for Atrina and fingered it a little. _Maker, please don't let her go off without me again..._ he prayed before slipping the letter back into his satchel.

The moment they were far from the city gates, they located Caron. “Could you take this back to your clan and give it to Atrina? It's important.”

Caron took the rolled up letter from Alistair and nodded. “No worries, Warden. I'll see it safely delivered.”

 

Several days later, Atrina read and re-read the letter Caron had given her, the moment he entered the camp. Atrina was healed enough for traveling now, so she was ready to get going.

 _Haven... That sounds familiar..._ she thought after she got over the initial shock of hearing that Wanda had gotten injured. _I know that place... The Temple! The home of Andraste's ashes! I remember because I can still somewhat recall Inquisition. Praise the Maker that I still remember that much!_

But, as much as she wanted to head straight there, Alistair had given them no means to even _find_ where Haven was. The only place he told them to go was Lake Calenhad and meet them at the inn there.

 _I don't know whether to feel excited or annoyed that he knows me so well now. He knows, if given all the information, I would have went off without him..._ she thought with a small sigh. “It looks like we'll be heading to Lake Calenhad to wait for the others.”

At her words, Sten looked more grim faced than usual. Taking mental note, Atrina joined his side as they departed from the Dalish. “Something on your mind?” she asked with a glance up at him.

He returned the glance. “There is always something on my mind, Warden.”

“True, but this seems to have you upset... Is this about what happened before you were in that cage?”

At her words, he paused in walking, causing her to stop unexpectedly. “...I cannot deny that it is part of it.”

As the others walked ahead of them, Sten confided in her about what happened at Lake Calenhad and about his sword.

“...I did not stay in that inn, when you stayed at the Circle, Warden.”

Atrina blinked. “Really?”

“I did not stay there because I tried to find Asala, my sword...”

“Well, while we're there this time, I'll help you look? Maybe you need another set of eyes?”

His expression softened a little. “...Perhaps. We shall see.”

 _At least I still remember where Asala's located..._ she thought with a small smile.

 

 

 

 


	23. Rendezvous at the Princess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Absence makes the heart grow fonder..."

* * *

 

 

Alistair watched in slight surprise and confusion as Zevran offered to share a tent with Wanda, but the mage declined. Normally they were inseparable, especially at night. _Maybe it's her stomach? It has been only a few days..._ he thought as he watched the assassin bid Wanda goodnight, before retiring to his own tent.

Seeing a chance to talk to the mage alone, Alistair moved to her side. “Got a minute?”

Wanda looked up at him in surprise before pushing some loose hair back behind her ear. “Um, yeah.”

“You all right?” he asked as he sat down. “You're acting... well, a little different.”

“Just-- got things on my mind. And my stomach keeps hurting, so,” she said with a small laugh while waving off his concern. “What's up?”

“Uh, well, I wanted to-- that is... I thought about what you said in Denerim about Atrina...”

Wanda stared at him for a moment, looking confused before it seemed to dawn on her. “Oh! Yeah, sure!”

Alistair took a deep breath. “Um, right... I don't even know where to start,” he said with a soft chuckle as he ran a hand through his hair. A sigh left him as he rubbed the back of his head. “You already know that I care about her, and I think-- or at least _like_ to think she cares about me the same way, but--”

“She keeps holding back?”

He nodded. “Yes... we... we have moments where it seems like she'll give in to her feelings, but either she stops herself or someone interrupts--”

“Wait,” Wanda asked, cutting him off once more. “Who's been interrupting you two?” she asked, looking miffed.

Alistair hesitated. “Well...”

“Come on, tell me so I can scold them,” Wanda said with a firm nod.

He stared at her for a moment. “Then you'll have to scold yourself...”

Wanda's eyes grew wider than he could remember them being. “What?! _When_?” she asked with genuine surprise.

“Wait, she didn't tell you?”

“Obviously _not_! Tell me!” she said as she grabbed his arm and shook him a little.

“All right, all right! ...Well, um, it was hours before we were attacked by the darkspawn at camp...” He didn't need to remind her when that happened, they all remembered it well enough. “She-- I... We were both, evidently, taking baths not far from each other--”

“Oh my gosh, you saw each other naked?!” Wanda asked in a harsh whisper.

Alistair winced before he moved to stand. “Okay, maybe this was a mistake--”

“No, nonono! I'm sorry!” Wanda grabbed his arm and urged him to sit back down. “I'll stop interrupting, go on.”

He gave her an uneasy look before returning to his seat. “Long and awkward story short, we almost kissed, but you called her away.”

Wanda's expression twisted to a heartbroken one. “Oh _no_ , you two could have gotten together then! I am so, _so_ sorry, Alistair.”

He didn't meet her eye. “Maybe... I haven't had a moment with her really since... And no, in Wynne's tent doesn't count-- she was just trying to make sure I didn't move so much as Wynne and Leliana focused on my arm.”

Wanda frowned. “I wish she would have told me... Oooh, I _knew_ something happened between you two! I was going to make her tell me, but Zevran...” Her eyes widened before she looked back at Zevran's tent. “Ooh, that little... She used Zevran against me!”

Alistair couldn't help but let out a small chuckle. “Anyway, I was hoping you could tell me what might be holding her back? Am I doing something wrong--”

“Oh, no, no, Alistair,” Wanda said quickly, turning back to him. “You're not. She thinks you're wonderful.”

Alistair felt himself warm up at that. “Really?” he asked as a smile appeared on his face. “She thinks that?”

“Oh, yeah, she's in love with you. Been in love with you forever,” Wanda stated as a matter of fact.

His head felt light all of a sudden. _She's in love with me?_

“But it's a mixture of things that's holding her back...” She seemed to think over her next words carefully. “Part of it is Sam... she's told you about him, right?”

“Yes, her first fiance.”

“Well, she won't admit it, but part of her is still clinging to him, I think. I mean, he died, but he was still a major part of her life. Did you know that he only joined the army so he could be with her?”

His eyes widened. “No... she mentioned he became a soldier to the king.”

“He didn't have really anything to his name. No money to support her, but he wanted to be able to take her away from her life...”

“From the alienage?”

“Yes, the alienage. Best way to do that was to get enough money to be able to live on a farm outside of Denerim. He planned to build a house for them. In fact, he had one started...”

Alistair stared at her in shock. “She never mentioned that.”

“Well, part of it was a surprise, I think... If he had lived, he would have come in and swept her away, married her and she probably would have had a couple of children by now.”

Alistair felt his chest tighten. “She wanted children?”

“Oh, yeah, she loves them. You remember that little boy in Redcliffe? I think she would have loved to have stayed with him. She's always been good with kids.”

He looked down at the fire. “Grey Wardens are not able to have children.”

They were silent for a moment. Atrina wanted to be a mother, but how could she be one now? He only ever heard how rare it was for Grey Wardens to have children with partner that was untainted, it would be near impossible for two Wardens to conceive together...

“Alistair,” Wanda said softly, regaining his attention. “If you two are ever in a moment like that again, and I accidentally interrupt, just tell me to come back later, all right? Don't let her use me as an excuse.”

“I...” He sighed. “I don't want to force her or anything.”

“You're not forcing her. You know how stubborn she can be, so she needs a push sometimes.”

“True...” He took a deep breath before letting it out. “All right... I'll just... try again, I suppose.”

“It'll work out, Alistair, you'll see,” Wanda reassured him before slowly standing up. “Um, if there's nothing else?”

He looked up at her. “Hm? Oh, no, that's uh, that's it.”

Wanda nodded stiffly. “Good... well, goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” he said as he watched her leave to her tent. He frowned a little when he noticed it was a little further away from the rest of the tents. _That's... odd._

“Is she acting different to you, or is it just me?” Leliana asked, coming to his side.

“It could just be her injury...”

“Hmm... I am not convinced. She's closing herself off to us.”

“She'll probably feel better when she sees Atrina again,” he commented as he stood up.

“Maybe... I am just concerned. But... you could be right, could be her injury is hurting so much, she doesn't want to bother us.”

“Perhaps... get some sleep, Leliana. I'll take first watch.”

“Very well, goodnight, Alistair.”

“Goodnight.”

 

Atrina found it felt strange to travel without Alistair. She had been so used to his presence and found herself missing him more than she thought possible. When she had the chance, she wrote him back, letting him know that they would meet at The Spoiled Princess at Lake Calenhad.

She asked him questions about how Wanda was doing and how bad her injuries were. He answered back and, before she knew it, they were writing back and forth to one another.

Caron remained their messenger as they traveled.

“You must get tired going back and forth so much,” she commented once as he handed her another letter. “Not that I'm not grateful for you doing this.”

The scout smiled. “Some days, yes, but it's quicker for me to move with a halla than it is for you. Besides, I get to see my clan as I travel back and forth. ”

Atrina returned the smile. “Well, go ahead and rest up. We have plenty of food tonight to share.”

He gave his thanks before leading his halla to where the food was. Once she saw he was eating and settling, Atrina moved to a more secluded part of the camp.

Opening the letter, she looked over the handwriting that she had grown used to reading over the few weeks. Clean letters, with a slight curve, greeted her. Alistair's handwriting had surprised her, but then again, she never really thought about what it would be like to read his letters.

The way he wrote his letters was not frilly or fancy, like she suspected nobles, or even the hierarchy of the chantry, would write. It was clean, much cleaner than her own writing, which was part of the reason she always ended up apologizing when she wrote to him. _Even in Thedas I have messy writing..._

The first couple of letters were written to the point. Alistair gave information about where they were and would ask her where she was. It was clear to her he asked so he could feel reassured that she wasn't leaving him too far behind. By the third letter, he started adding more.

He added little thoughts on scenery as they traveled. In one letter, he mentioned a tree he thought Grunt would like, in another he briefly mentioned that there was some beautiful flowers in bloom. _'They made me think of you, actually,'_ he wrote, before moving onto another discussion, such as an event that happened in camp, _'funniest thing occurred. I woke up to something tickling my foot the other morning, only to discover a squirrel had decided that my tent was a good place to sleep. It actually stole one of my socks! Now I'm down a sock...'_

Atrina had a laughing fit when she read it, earning looks from her companions. She replied in turn with a story of her own. Back and forth their letters went...

_'Grunt decided he wanted to be a nursemaid and left a treat in Morrigan's things last night. He ruined a few of her things and she was fuming! I was afraid she was going to turn poor Grunt into a toad! Luckily I was able to appease her and gave her some new things that Grunt had actually found...'_

_'Oh, Maker, I hate that I missed that! The look on Morrigan's face... Tell me it was priceless? I need something to really laugh about as I try to ignore my cold foot.'_

_'You would have loved it, but Morrigan might have taken her anger out on you instead... You wouldn't be worried about your foot then. Do you seriously not have another sock?'_

_'Would have been worth it, honestly! Just to see her feathers ruffled for once. And... well, I do, but it has a hole in it...'_

Atrina snorted a little as she giggled. _I wish we had something like instant messaging here..._ she thought as she missed what little technologies she remembered on Earth.

Ridding the thoughts from her mind, she focused back on Alistair's current letter, while making a mental note to see if Bodhan had any socks available.

_'Wanda's been healing well, Leliana says she'll have a scar though. Not surprised, really, it was a deep slash. Though, you should know, Wanda hasn't... really been acting like herself since the attack..._

_She puts up a front when she knows we're watching, but she's been more... closed off, I suppose? Zevran is even having a hard time talking with her. Remember how they were always sharing a tent or a room? Well, they haven't shared a tent since we got to Denerim-- I can't believe I'm even writing about this.'_

Atrina frowned at the letter. Wanda not staying by Zevran's side? That was odd. _She loves Zevran... why is she pushing him away?_ She glanced back down at the letter.

_'How far are you from Lake Calenhad? Can't be too much further-- at least, once you get this letter. We're about two and a half weeks away now, if you can believe it. I'm having trouble believing it, but I can see the Circle Tower from here. I'm looking at it right now, in fact-- though I can't really see the top of it because of the clouds. Huh... I wonder if it's raining where you are, then? Oh I hope this letter doesn't get wet.'_

Atrina smiled softly. It had drizzled a little on them as they grew closer to the tower, but the sun had been shining down all day. She glanced towards the tower. It was in clear view for her, looking grand against the sunset sky.

It had been decided they would make camp at least one more night before going to The Spoiled Princess. Atrina had already promised Sten that they would look for his sword once it was morning.

Standing up, she dusted off her pants as she moved towards the camp fire. “Well, we should see the others, I think, in just a few more days?” she said as she looked to Caron for confirmation.

He nodded. “Sounds about right.” He stood and moved away from the others. “Heading to bed early, Warden. I suspect I'll be heading out in the morning?” he asked, giving her a knowing smirk as he glanced at the letter in her hands.

Atrina blushed a little as she cleared her throat. “Well... it's possible.”

He grinned at her before bidding them goodnight.

After eating the meal Morrigan cooked, Atrina sat by the fire, focusing on a project she had started a week earlier.

Bodhan had provided the materials while Atrina put in the work. _This is so much better than just buying this for him like you can in the game..._ she thought as she happily stitched up the cloth in her hands.

“May I join you?”

Atrina looked up to see Wynne standing beside her. “Please,” Atrina said with a smile as she nodded to the spot next to her on the log.

“Thank you.” Wynne sat down beside her and glanced at Atrina's hands. “Might I ask what you are working on?”

Looking down at the project in her hands, Atrina bit her bottom lip lightly as she smiled. “It's um... a present.”

“Oh?” Wynne looked at her curiously. “For whom?”

Atrina didn't miss the knowing smile the mage sent her way. “Ha, yes, okay it's for Alistair...” She huffed lightly as she blushed.

“Oh? I never would have suspected. Not with how you two have been writing back and forth to one another.”

Atrina rolled her eyes at the light teasing tone. “Yeah, uh-huh. I wanted to give him something... I thought this would be a good way to make up for how I've been treating him lately...”

“You know Alistair isn't still upset with you,” Wynne commented. “It is not in his nature.”

A sigh left Atrina. “Before we departed to find the Dalish, we fought. When he came back and stayed by my bedside for _eight_ hours, my response was to order him off to Denerim, and we fought over that. Each time has been my fault and--”

“Atrina,” Wynne began as she placed a hand on her shoulder. “There was nothing wrong with sending Alistair off to Denerim, either times. You were thinking of your duty, while he was thinking with his heart. He may have been angry and hurt about it, but sometimes he needs that push. If he had his way, he would never leave your side.”

Atrina closed her eyes for a moment.. “I know...” She looked down at the material in her hands. “And I wouldn't leave his either if I could...”

Wynne gave her a warm and gentle smile. “You two care for each other greatly... It shows in how you react to each of his letters.”

Atrina glanced up at the fire in front of them, having trouble keeping the smile from her face as she thought of the letters. “Sooo... are we going to have that talk now?”

She felt the older woman squeeze her shoulder slightly before dropping her hand. “I have a feeling that I don't need to give it anymore. I believe you understand...”

Atrina turned back to look at her with slight bewilderment. “Really?”

Wynne smiled softly. “Yes, dear. As I mentioned, you give off a glow when you read his letters, and I imagine that he does the same.”

It was more difficult now to keep the smile from her face. “So... no lectures on how being a Grey Warden means sacrifice? That one or both of us might die before the Blight is even over?”

“No, the only thing I feel I can tell you is that... you need to consider one another seriously before you commit to a relationship. You won't have an easy life ahead of you.”

“I know...” Atrina let out a sigh as she looked back at the campfire. “And... I'm still scared...” Atrina blinked back the tears that wanted to fall. _Still scared that this isn't real... that I will wake up and be alone again..._ “I honestly didn't think he'd fall for me...” she admitted.

“But you knew you would fall for him.” It wasn't a question.

A slight laugh left her as she tilted her head up to look at the evening sky. “Oh yeah, from the very first words I heard him say, I knew I was done for, even when I tried to push the feelings away.”

“I see...”

Atrina glanced back at Wynne. “I still haven't figured out what to do about it, though... I feel like if I keep trying to keep my feelings locked inside that I'll end up losing his friendship... and I... I can't lose him, Wynne...” She wiped her eyes quickly, refusing to let tears fall.

“Sometimes... we have to do things we regret to protect those we love. There are times where the best thing to do is to let them go...”

 _Let him go... I don't think that's actually possible at this point._ “I can't make him hate me.”

Wynne chuckled lightly. “Oh, no, that's not what I mean, dear.” She took her hand in hers and gave it a squeeze. “Besides, I think it would be nearly impossible for Alistair to ever hate you.”

 _Pretty sure he'd hate me if I let Loghain live..._ Atrina bit her lip at the thought. “What do you expect me to do, Wynne?”

The mage gave her a kind smile while her eyes looked sad. “I just want you to... consider his and your feelings carefully, before you make any kind of commitment to one another... You already know that being a Grey Warden means sacrifice, but you need to consider what state the people who love you might be in if that is your fate...”

“ _I_ died _when she took that killing blow, leaving me alone in a world that lost all of its color.”_

Atrina's chest tightened as the image of Older Alistair suddenly rushed back to her. The heartache and anger had been obvious then, but now...

Now it caused her actual _pain_ , her heart twisting at the very thought that Alistair-- _her_ Alistair-- could turn out that way. To be alone, heart broken, angry at the world...

The tears she wanted to hold back, trickled down her face. She didn't wipe them away as she stared into the camp fire.

Wynne gently pulled her into a side hug, letting her lean her head on her shoulder. No words were exchanged as Atrina closed her eyes and leaned into Wynne's embrace.

She would see him in just a few short days. Would they even have time to talk? Was she even ready to talk to him about her feelings?

Her body trembled a little at the thought. _I'll... I'll tell him something. I'm so tired of pushing him away..._

One way or another, something was going to change between them. Atrina just prayed she was making the right decision.

 

“Finally, a warm bed for the evening,” Leliana stated as The Spoiled Princess was in their sights. “Aren't you excited, Wanda?”

“Hm?” the mage glanced back at her with no real emotion on her face until it clicked what she said. “Oh! Yes, finally! My back is killing me.”

Alistair glanced to Zevran, expecting him to make the usual offer of giving Wanda a massage, but the assassin never spoke up. “You all right?”

Zevran gave him a slight smirk, but the mirth behind it didn't seem genuine. “Yes, I am just... thinking of things, you know.” He glanced at Wanda and Alistair caught the slight nervousness that flickered in his eyes for a moment.

“Riiight...” Alistair mumbled. “You two still...?”

Zevran sent him a slight glare that shut his mouth. Dropping the glare, he sighed as he shook his head. “Honestly, I have no idea what she is thinking right now...”

“You're missing her though.”

Zevran scoffed lightly. “Please, she is right there--”

“Yes, but not _with_ you.”

“Hmm... now I am beginning to understand how you were feeling with Atrina...”

“Ha... this is kind of funny.” Alistair grinned a little as he thought about it. “Normally it's you giving me the advi--”

“ _Not_ helping, my friend.”

“Right, sorry.” He frowned as he glanced towards where Wanda and Leliana were walking ahead of them. “Have you... you know, tried talking to her?”

When Zevran sighed, it looked as if his whole body sighed. “I have tried, but... I'm finding I cannot find the words to say. We talk still, but there is something... her voice doesn't have the same carefree tone she once had...”

“I think she's still shaken from that attack. I know it's been weeks, but just... give her some time?”

Zevran gave him a look. “Hmm, that sounds oddly familiar.”

“Yes, well... if it's good advice for me, then maybe it's good advice for you?”

The corners of Zevran's lips twitched a little. “Ah, you might have a point then.” Moving slightly ahead of Alistair, Zevran turned and started walking backwards. “And what of you with Atrina? Surely enough time has passed, yes?”

Twisting his mouth at the comment, Alistair gave him a look. “Well--”

“Surely the letter passing back and forth has created an opening for you?”

A sigh left Alistair as he thought back to the letters. The last one he retrieved stated Atrina and the others had arrived at the inn. It mentioned a few other things as well...

_'Just waiting on you now-- and I promise, we're staying right here until you arrive. Wynne wouldn't let me run off anyways-- I may be healed but the area is still tender. She thinks that a real bed will be good for me. Honestly, if I could just sleep until you get here, that'd be nice... Because I miss you, not because I want to hurry to Haven._

_'Did I ever mention how strange it feels to not have you with me? If I haven't, well, now you know...'_

“I'll take that dreamy grin as a 'yes',” Zevran commented, bringing him out of his thoughts.

Clearing his throat, Alistair ignored the heat on his cheeks as he shrugged. “Well, uh, maybe?” Though the grin on his face didn't really fade. “She... she might've mentioned that she misses me.”

“Ah, so there is your opening then!” Zevran stated as they followed the ladies into the inn. “Take this chance before it slips away.”

Alistair's chest swelled and his heart suddenly picked up in speed at his words. _My opening!_ His eyes brightened and darted around the room as they entered. When he didn't immediately see Atrina, the swelling in his chest deflated slightly, disappointment dragging his mood down.

Mentally he shook himself. _Maybe she's in a room?_

He walked up to the bartender. “Excuse me, is there a guest by the name of Atrina Tabris here? An elven woman, 'bout yea high? Long dark brown hair, possibly in a braid? Seems innocent, but can sweet talk her way through anything? Accompanied by a dog, a grim looking, hornless quanari-- who seldom smiles, and two human women, one older with white hair, giving off a that 'sweet grandmother who's ready to knit you a scarf or two' vibe, and the other dressed in very little, while wearing heavy makeup, and practically oozing with nastiness?”

Wanda and Zevran sniggered behind him at his description of of the others. Leliana simply rolled her eyes and shook her head.

Alistair thought his descriptions were spot on and, apparently, so did the innkeeper.

“Uh, yes, there is. You wouldn't happen to be Alistair?”

“Yes, that's me.”

“She said you'd be coming, though I haven't seen her all day. Might still be upstairs.”

“Ah, you made it.”

Alistair turned to see Wynne walking over to them. “Oh, good, you are here.”

Wynne chuckled softly. “Worried, hmm?” she teased before turning to Wanda. “How are you feeling?”

Wanda blinked before quickly wearing a smile. “Oh, I'm fine, just sore still.”

“Have your stitches been removed?”

“Not yet,” Leliana answered. “She should be healed enough to remove them today, however.”

Wanda's smile dropped almost instantly. “W-Wynne, I don't want anymore pain...”

Wynne instantly put her arms around her in a comforting embrace. “Oh, Wanda, it's all right. Come, let's take care of you.”

“Um, Wynne? Where's Atrina?” Alistair spoke up before they could go far.

“Oh, she's upstairs. She's feeling a little unwell, however, but I think she will be happy to see you.”

He almost felt his heart stop. “Is she all right? What happened?”

Wynne sighed softly. “Nothing happened, Alistair. It's... a womanly thing.”

“Oh? ... _oh!_ She's, um...” He turned red as the others stared at him. Most of their expressions held amusement.

Wynne gave him a smile. “Yes, Alistair, she's just resting. Go on upstairs. Second door on the left.”

He nodded stiffly. “Right, thanks...” he said before leaving the group.

Walking up the narrow stairs, he moved to the hall and looked around. Going to the door Wynne told him, his stomach did somersaults.

Normally when the women companions went through their cycles, Alistair avoided them for the most part. Atrina always took things easy when it started, but he couldn't remember her being in bed for so long.

Alistair shook his head a little before taking a deep breath. Trying to urge the fluttering in his stomach to settle, he knocked on the door. Hopping lightly from one foot to the other, he waited until hearing permission to enter.

It was so quiet that he was almost sure he didn't hear it. Opening the door a little, he peeked his head inside.

The only light in the room streamed from the small gap in the curtain. It spilled out onto the bed, illuminating the figures on the bed. Grunt raised his head from the foot of the bed. He wagged his stubby tail in greeting.

At the movement on the bed, a groan left the mound under the covers before Atrina raised her head. Her hair was a mess, which made Alistair smile, he still loved seeing her hair a mess.

A small smile lit her face when she saw him. “Hey,” she said softly as Grunt got off the bed.

He stepped further into the room. “Hey, heard you're not feeling well,” he said as Grunt walked up to him. Alistair rubbed his head in greeting before the canine slipped out of the room. “Wonder where he's going,” he said as he closed the door.

“Probably to see Wanda.” Atrina returned her head to the pillow “And I'll be okay in a little while...” she mumbled as he moved over to the bed. A sigh left her as he sat at her side. “Figures it starts when you get here...”

His gaze softened. “I don't recall it being this bad before.”

“It wasn't... It's been a few years since it was this bad,” she confirmed as she adjusted in the bed a little.

“Shouldn't you... I don't know, see a healer? I- I mean, if it's worse...”

Atrina gave him a soft smile at his concern. “I'll be okay, Alistair.”

He frowned, not satisfied with that answer. “...Can I do anything?”

She smiled softly at his words. “You being here helps.”

His chest swelled a little. “Well, then... I- If you'd like, I can stay here as long as you want.” He was sure his cheeks were red.

Her hand slipped from out of the covers and reached for his. “That'd make me happy.”

 _My face is definitely red now if it wasn't before..._ he thought as he flipped his hand over and held hers. “Then I'm here to stay,” he said as he squeezed her hand gently.

Atrina smiled brightly as her cheeks turned pink a little. “Oh, um, I have something for you,” she said as she sat up. She winced a little as a hand went to her stomach.

Alistair's hand was on her back in an instant. “Are you all right?”

“Yes, just aching.” She laughed a little as he hovered over her. “I'm okay, really.”

He frowned. “Whatever you have for me can wait. You need to rest more.”

She rolled her eyes. “Don't start treating me like glass, Ali.”

His eyes went wide. “I- I'm not! But you said it yourself that you hadn't hurt this bad in a few years!”

She sighed as she tilted her head back. “Morrigan gave me something and I'm feeling a lot better than earlier.” She stood up on the bed before he could protest more. Walking across the bed, she jumped down and moved to her pack. “I finished it last night. Was worried I'd have to work on it while you were in camp, which you might've seen it before it was ready, and that would've ruined the surprise.”

Alistair blinked as what she said registered. “You... you _made_ me something?”

She glanced back at him over her shoulder and he caught her grin. “'Tis possible.”

He continued to look at her in disbelief. “I... w-why?”

Alistair couldn't remember the last time anyone had made him something that hadn't been clothes or food. The last time he got a gift, _really_ got a gift, was when he was a child.

Atrina tilted her head back to look at him and gave him a smile. “Why not?”

He opened his mouth before closing it. “Well... I, um, don't have anything for you.”

She stood up and hid what she had behind her back. “Oh please, you already got me something,” she stated before nodding to the nightstand next to him. “Remember the rose?”

He blinked before turning to see the very same rose he had picked in Lothering, sitting in a vase of water. It was still alive, though it showed signs of starting to wilt. “You still...”

“Wanda's magic isn't as strong on it like it used to be, but I'm trying to keep it alive... I know, I know, it's silly,” she said with a huff. “But... I'm stubborn and it hasn't died yet, so maybe it's as stubborn as me?”

He looked back to her and watched with amusement as she walked on her knees on the bed. “Maybe it is. If I recall I did state it made me think of you,” he reminded as his eyes danced over her. “But you didn't need to make me any--”

“It's also an apology.” She settled beside him, her hands still behind her back as she fidgeted a little. “For... for the fights...” Her voice was small and soft as she glanced away from him.

His gaze softened. “Atrina--”

“Close your eyes and hold out your hand.”

He raised a brow at her. “What?”

She rolled her eyes. “Close your eyes and hold out your hand.”

“Why don't you just show--”

“Because it's more fun this way, now trust me, you'll like it.”

Even if he wanted to, he couldn't keep the smile on his face from growing wider. “All right, that's easy enough.” Holding out his hand to her, he closed his eyes.

Her fingers touched the palm of his hand gently and his fingers twitched slightly at the sensation. He greatly wanted to open his eyes and take her hand in his. Though, he wasn't sure what he would do after taking her hand. _Awkwardly hold it, perhaps?_

“...Your hands are so much bigger than mine,” Atrina mumbled as she traced his hand slowly.

Alistair felt his heart skip a beat as he gulped. His hand tingled where she touched, the feeling moving across his arm, and he tensed more because of it. Not caring anymore about how awkward it might become, he took hold of her hand in his, causing her to gasp a softly.

“Yours are so small,” he mumbled as he somehow resisted the urge to open his eyes. “I'm afraid I might crush them one day.” He squeezed her hand softly.

He felt her other hand settle on his and she squeezed his hand. “You haven't yet.”

“'Yet' being the keyword here... You're rolling your eyes, aren't you?”

She laughed a little. “Okay, okay, I get it, I'm predictable.”

“I wouldn't say that... okay, maybe a little.”

She laughed again. “Shush! And no peeking.”

“I'm not!”

Atrina flipped his hand over and pressed his index and middle fingers together before doing the same with his ring and pinkie fingers. He raised a brow, but didn't say anything.

Her hands left his and he almost dropped his hand in response. Cloth was slipped over his hand, causing him to hum a little. “This is the strangest glove I've ever worn,” he commented, making a guess on what it was.

“That's because it's not a glove.” He could hear the smile in her voice. “You can open your eyes now.”

Opening his eyes, he looked down at his hand to see a hand puppet looking up at him. It was blue with gray fabric over parts of it like armor, with a gray helm as the head. On the chest was the Grey Warden griffon crest and on the back of the puppet was a shield and a sword.

Alistair felt his throat tighten a little and his chest swelled. He had a Grey Warden puppet on his hand.

“I, I know it's not perfect, the stitching is messy, but, um, I just thought you'd like it...” Atrina said quickly when he didn't say anything. “I... I based the armor off yours...”

He looked back up at her as she bit her lip and rubbed her hands together nervously. As much as he wanted to say something, he had trouble finding the words. Her expression turned to one of worry as she opened her mouth to speak again.

Before she could get a sound out, he wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug. His eyes were starting to water, which was ridiculous, but he couldn't stop it. “I love it, thank you...” he said as he buried his face in her shoulder.

He felt her relax in his arms at his words before she hugged him back just as tightly. “I'm so happy you like it.”

“No one's ever given me anything before... not something that was made for me in mind,” he admitted as he pulled back a little. His eyes were wet, but he was smiling as he felt warm all over. Using the hand that didn't have the puppet, he wiped his eyes. “Sorry,” he chuckled lightly.

Atrina's eyes shined a little at him. “Don't be... how does it fit?”

Raising his hand, he made the puppet move, causing himself to laugh. “It fits great.”

Atrina let out a sigh of relief as she slumped over on the bed. “Oh, good... I was worried it would be too tight or too big.”

“It's... it's perfect,” he said as he moved the puppet around some more. “Where did you get the sword and shield?”

Atrina grinned as she sat up. “Bodhan had some old toys that were Sandal's, but he hardly messed with the toys, preferring to enchant things instead.”

He smiled fondly down at the puppet. “This is... thank you. You didn't have to, but...”

She beamed brightly at him. “I know, but I wanted to. This is just a reminder that we don't have to be serious all the time.”

“It's a good reminder.” He raised the puppet up and turned it to her. Making it move, he raised the arm of the puppet. “For the Grey Wardens!” he cheered in an over dramatic voice before the puppet kissed her cheek.

Atrina laughed as she turned pink. “Shouldn't you be fighting darkspawn?” she asked the puppet with amusement.

Alistair grinned as the puppet moved. “I shall be, milady, but I seek you to give me luck on my journey.”

Atrina scoffed playfully. “Well, you should have asked first, Ser Warden.”

“My sincerest apologizes, milady! I meant no offense!” He brought the hands together in a pleading gesture. “Please, tell me what I must do to rectify what I've done?”

Atrina put a finger to her chin in thought. “Hmm, well, you already apologized, just don't do it again without asking.”

The puppet bowed. “Thank you, milady, I do not deserve this kindness!”

Atrina giggled. “You're pretty good at this.”

Alistair chuckled softly as he turned a little red. “Yes, well...” he mumbled as he lowered the puppet.

Atrina smiled happily. “I missed you...”

His chest swelled at her words. Swallowing a little, he raised the puppet back up. “...If you would grant it, milady, may I receive a kiss of luck from you?”

Atrina's eyes went a little wide as she glanced from him to the puppet. At her expression he feared he did the wrong thing.

“...I'll grant it,” she said softly before giving a kiss to the puppet.

He felt his heart skip a beat, but at the same time, he felt jealous of the puppet. Her brown eyes looked up at him before she leaned up and kissed his cheek.

His body grew warm as his heartbeat pounded in his ears. Turning his head slightly, his lips brushed her cheek. “Atrina...”

Her arms were around his torso as she buried her head in his chest. Without a word, he wrapped his arms around her in return, holding her close.

A knock sounded on the door, forcing them apart. “W-who is it?” Atrina called, not seeing Alistair glare at the door.

“Quick, you must come! Your friends are in danger!” the voice of one of the serving girls cried through the door. “They're outside!”

Atrina and Alistair wasted no time getting off the bed. “We're coming!” Atrina quickly got dressed in the duster armor, wincing a little as she moved.

“Are you sure you're all right?” Alistair asked, his concern for her returning.

“I'll be fine,” she told him as she grabbed her sword and dagger. “Let's go.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter! *falls over* Final-freaking-ly, am I right? X'D   
> Life's gotten a little bit more... hectic, I guess? I'm working more at work (got a promotion, whoop!) so, I'm just writing when I can. When it's slow at work, I try to write a little in one of the journals I have with me. :D If not there, then I'll write on my phone if I'm in bed and the inspiration hits...   
> Anyways, enough about me, hope you enjoy!


	24. Girl Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the fight is done, Wanda has a heart-to-heart with Atrina.  
> Even as Atrina starts to think about taking the plunge, there's still business to attend to...

Atrina and Alistair raced down the stairs and into the tavern of the inn. They were greeted by the sight of people, both injured and frightened, huddled together in the tavern. Wanda and Leliana were by those who looked worse for wear, helping all they could.

“Wanda, what's happened?” Atrina asked as she made her way to them.

“We asked what the innkeeper knew about Genitivi and the Urn,” Leliana answered as Wanda focused on healing the person she was with. “Turns out the inn has been under constant watch, waiting for people to ask--”

“They have my wife and daughter!” the innkeeper said, running to them from behind the bar. “That's the only reason why I did what they wanted!”

“Do you have any idea where they are?” Alistair asked, turning to him. “How long have they held them?”

The innkeeper shook his head, his face twisted in fear and worry. “No, I-- I have no idea where they are and they've had them months now. I tried to get help, but they said they'd kill them if I tried! Maker, they could be dead now for all I know!”

 _Wife and child? Was that in the game?_ “We'll find them, just stay here,” Atrina said as she motioned for Alistair to follow her outside.

“Atrina,” Wanda called, causing her to turn back. The mage looked distressed. “Be careful.”

Tilting her head to the side, Atrina gave her a confused look before nodding. “I will be.”

Wanda relaxed a little as she turned back to helping those who needed healing. Atrina frowned a little before Alistair brought her attention back to the task at hand.

Running outside, they moved straight into the fray, moving to the defense of their comrades. Blood stained the grass as bodies dropped to the ground.

“Who are these people?” Atrina shouted as she threw dirt into one man's eyes, blinding him. She quickly stabbed in the gap of his armor, forcing him to the ground.

“They're from Haven,” Alistair answered as he slammed his shield into another man. “Seems they don't want anyone to find the Urn!”

“Clearly!” Atrina countered before a shout was heard over the fight.

A woman holding a little girl ran down the hill towards the inn. “Somebody, please--” A cry of pain left her before she stumbled and fell to the ground, an arrow sticking out of her back. The girl in her arms slipped out of her hold, but quickly got to her feet. “Mommy!” she cried as she ran to the woman.

An archer appeared at the top of the hill and aimed his bow at the little girl as she tried to wake her mother. A fist formed of stone hit him in the stomach, causing him to drop his bow and stumble back.

“I won't let you harm this child!” Wynne shouted as she raised her staff and shot a bolt of lightning at him.

The archer cried out in pain before slumping to the ground, his body twitching.

Atrina and Alistair ran to the little girl's side. “Oh no...” Alistair whispered as the little girl cried on her mother's body.

“Wynne!” Atrina called as she landed on her knees next to the child. “She needs--”

“Atrina!” Alistair snapped, causing her to look up at him in shock. His face was twisted in grief and guilt as he knelt down next to her. “She's gone...”

“Mommy, g-get up!” the little girl shouted as she shook her mother's shoulder. “We're al-almost home!”

“Natalie!” the innkeeper shouted as he ran to them.

“Poppa! Mommy's n-not getting up!” she cried as her father wrapped his arms around her.

“Oh, Andraste...” the innkeeper said as he held his daughter close to him. “She's... with the Maker now, Natalie...”

“B-but, she was fine before!” the child cried.

Atrina felt her heart break as she watched. Guilt started to creep in on her, bringing her mood down even further. _It's my fault... if only we were fast enough. If this happened in the game then I should have known!_

A hand on her shoulder brought her out of her thoughts. Looking to Alistair, he gave her an understanding look. “We... we can't save everyone, Atrina...” he whispered as he squeezed her shoulder lightly.

Numbly she nodded. He was right, she knew it, but even so, it hurt. Looking back to the body, Atrina flinched before quickly turning away.

“Please, will you help me with her?”

“Of course,” Alistair said as he stood up. Together, the innkeeper and Alistair prepared the pyre for the bodies of those who died. Atrina watched in silence, Wynne joining her. Morrigan and Zevran returned inside the inn, Sten opting to remain outside. Leliana joined them shortly and said a prayer over the bodies with the help of the nearby templar who had joined in the fight.

By the time the pyres were lit, night had fallen. The fire rose up, embers floating out, mesmerizing Atrina as she watched. Leliana began to sing a song of mourning, unknowingly stirring up memories of Atrina's life in the Alienage

Atrina didn't even try to stop the memories from coming...

_Tears poured down young Atrina's cheeks as she clung to her father's hand. The fire engulfed her mother as the priest assigned to the Alienage said a prayer. In Atrina's hand was the bracelet she could remember her mother wearing when she traveled. As the fire continued on, Atrina snatched her hand from her father and ran from him._

“ _Atrina!” he called out, but she didn't look back._

_She ran straight out of the Alienage, tired of seeing the place she had known as home all her life, tired of seeing the faces she grew up with. Her mother was dead, what did being in the Alienage matter now? No more kisses and no more hugs in greeting when her mother returned. Why did the Maker hate elves so much? Why did her mother have to be the one to die?_

I hate those shems, _she bitterly thought as she continued running._

_When she finally stopped, she was outside of the chantry, the walls went higher than she could even see. Tears dried on her face as she glared at the human building. Without a word she ran to the doors of the chantry and opened it up. She was going to go straight to the Maker to find out why her mother had to die, why those human bandits had to kill her. This was His house, or so the humans said, and she was going to give Him a piece of her mind._

“ _Child? What are you doing here? We have no service until the evening.”_

_Atrina jumped and turned around to see the mother of the chantry standing before her. Instead of giving her a expression she had grown used to seeing from the humans, the woman gave her a kind and curious look. The mother looked over her before her expression turned to one of concern. “Child, what is wrong? Are you all right?”_

“ _You don't care...” Atrina mumbled as she tried to fight the tears that wanted to come again. “None of you care about us in the Alienage.”_

_The mother knelt down next to her. “My dear, the Maker cares for all of us, and so, I care for you as well.”_

“ _If-if He cares, then w-why did my mother die?” A sob racked through her small body. “Why didn't He save her?”_

_Warm arms wrapped around her and, for a moment, she fought them. Soft singing calmed her down and she found herself leaning into the arms of the Revered Mother, seeking comfort._

“...Atrina?”

She blinked her eyes, coming out of the memory. Feeling water on her lashes, she reached up to wipe her face. A hand rested on her head, causing her to look up to see Alistair's concerned expression.

“Sorry, um, suddenly thought back to my own mother...” she mumbled as she scrubbed her face.

He stepped closer to her and she felt taken in by his presence. “You have nothing to be sorry about...”

Letting out a shaky laugh she looked up at him. “Don't I? This girl is going to grow up without a mother and it's because--”

“ _Because_ of her captors,” Alistair sternly cut her off. “You didn't... this wasn't _you_ , this _wasn't_ us.” His voice was soft, but sounded as broken as hers. Leaning down, he kept his eyes locked on hers, forcing her to look at him. “There was nothing we could do...”

“Why?” she asked as she hugged herself. It hurt to look at him and it hurt to hear what he had to say, because she knew he was right. “We're supposed to _save_ people--”

“We're _supposed_ to stop the Blight, Atrina.” He leaned closer, his nose almost brushing hers. “People die every day, and-- and we can't save them all.”

As her body started to shake, he put his hands on her arms, helping to keep her still. Tears fell from her eyes once more. “I don't want this...”

“Neither do I,” he breathed out as he put his forehead against hers. “But we have to keep fighting... We're still needed.”

Closing her eyes had been instinct, but leaning into him had been voluntary. “D-don't leave me...”

“ _Never_ ,” he whispered as he pulled her closer, hugging her tightly. “I will never leave you, Atrina... not if I can help it.”

Atrina leaned against him as she wrapped her arms tightly around him. A sob shook her as she buried her face into his neck. “A-Ali... I--”

“Shh...” he soothed into her hair, rubbing her back.

“Is she okay?”

Atrina looked up to see Wanda standing near them, looking concerned and unsure. Pulling away from Alistair, she gave her a watery smile. “Y-yeah, I'm okay...”

Alistair seemed reluctant to let her go, but he stepped back from her. “Um, I'll go check on the others...”

The moment he was away, Atrina turned back to Wanda. “Are you okay--”

Wanda snatched her into a hug. “Maker, I have so much to tell you andIdon'tknowwheretostart!”

Atrina hugged her back as she tried to make out what she just said. “Um, well, we can talk after things are settled...”

Wanda groaned as she released her. “Right, okay, let's... let's get cleaned up and maybe get some food.”

 

The tavern of the inn had been cleaned up, the wounds healed on those still injured, the dead put to rest. The innkeeper thanked them for saving those they could and for keeping his daughter safe.

“I... I don't know what I've done if I lost her...” he whispered as he held his sleeping daughter in his arms. “With her mum gone...” He let out a shaky breath before looking up at them. “Your rooms are free and food on the house as well.”

Atrina shook her head. “No, we can't accept th--”

“I insist. At least the rooms.”

She let out a sigh as she rubbed her head. “Okay... we'll take the free rooms...”

He smiled gently. “Good... Enjoy your dinner tonight... I, I need to take Natalie to her room...”

“Of course.”

Dinner had been silent as everyone ate. Atrina and Alistair shared a few glances from across the table, but she already knew they wouldn't be talking again that night.

 _So much for giving him an answer..._ she thought before remembering she had given him the puppet. Smiling softly to herself she snuck another look at him.

A tender gaze met hers and she suddenly felt herself flush. His eyes grew wide a little before a hint of a smirk reached his lips.

 _Oooh, he's smug that I blushed,_ she thought with a silent huff.

Looks were exchanged between the two as everyone retired to bed. Atrina watched silently as Alistair moved to the room he found himself sharing with Zevran and Grunt.

He turned back to look at her and smiled. “So, why am I getting Grunt tonight?”

Atrina playfully rolled her eyes. “Wanda needs some girl time.”

He raised a brow at her as he leaned against the doorway. “But he's a _dog._ ”

“He wants to be with you.”

“Oh, now I know you're lying.”

She scoffed. “I am not.”

“Grunt only likes me if I take him hunting or play with him. He _actually_ loves you.”

“He loves you too. He's missed you.”

“So have you, but you're not joining me in beee--” Alistair let out a few different sounds as his eye grew wide. “I-- Maker, f-forget I said anything. Goodnight!” he said as covered his face with his hand as he moved into his room.

Atrina stared after him with wide eyes and blushing cheeks. When his door clicked shut, she realized her mouth was hanging open. Quickly closing her mouth, she moved into her room and shut her own door. Placing her forehead on the door, she tried to calm her racing heart.

 _Maker, I can't believe he just said that... Though neither can he it seems._ Closing her eyes, she let out a soft groan before forcing herself to focus on Wanda.

Taking in a deep breath, Atrina turned around to face the room. Silently she watched as Wanda looked over her wound in the mirror. It was a lot smaller than Atrina's scar, but she knew it must have looked huge to her friend. “...You okay?”

“Hmm?” Wanda looked back to her before dropping her nightgown. “Oh, yeah. I'm peachy.”

Atrina walked over to the bed and sat down. “Wanda, I have never _once_ heard you use the word 'peachy'. Talk to me.” She patted the spot next to her on the bed.

A sigh left the mage as she moved over to her. “Okay... that attack in Denerim... might've shaken me more than I want to admit. I still can't believe I forgot to activate my rock armor!”

“It happens. Lucky that Zevran had an antidote.”

Wanda winced a little at the mention of Zevran. “Yeah...”

Atrina tilted her head to the side. “What's wrong?”

Wanda sighed. “Nothing... well, okay, actually I've been... feeling... Ugh, I don't know how to word it... I've just... I haven't really spoke to Zevran since Denerim...”

Atrina's eyes grew wide. “What? Why? Did something happen?”

Wanda groaned as she sat down next to her on the bed. “Me getting stabbed is what happened...” She hugged herself as she looked away from Atrina.

Moving closer to her, Atrina looked at her with concern. “What do you mean?”

Wanda clinched her eyes shut. “I... I really thought I was going to die.”

Atrina frowned softly. “It had to have been frightening--”

“That didn't happen in the game, Atrina,” Wanda spoke in a low tone as she looked at her.

A sigh left Atrina. “Well, a lot of things have been happening different from the game--”

“I know that, but _this_.” She pulled up her nightgown once more and ran her finger over the scabbed wound. “And _your_ scar. Atrina, I could have died-- _you_ could have died!” With a wild-eyed look, Wanda grabbed her shoulders, ready to start shaking her.

Atrina covered her hands with her own. “Wanda--”

“I know I said this was a coma-- a dream,” Wanda began quickly, cutting off whatever Atrina had to say. “But... but I think it's... It's _real_ , Atrina... You were right.” Tears build up in hazel green eyes. She gasp as she released Atrina, her hands shaking as she moved them to her head. A sob shook her body as she grasped her hair tightly.

Atrina immediately wrapped her arms around her friend and rubbed her back. It broke her heart to see Wanda like this. She hugged her tightly, letting her cry, not saying a word.

When Wanda calmed down she raised her head. “C-can you hand me my handkerchief from my bag?”

Atrina nodded as she let her go and stood up. “When did you get a handkerchief?” she asked with a curious look as she moved to her pack.

“Heh, the Circle. I think Irving gave it to me...” she answered as Atrina handed her the cloth. She mumbled her thanks before drying her face of the tears.

Atrina nodded a little as she sat back down beside her. Bringing her legs up onto the bed, she wrapped her arms around them. “So... what do you want to do?”

Wanda tensed up before she started fiddling with her handkerchief. “I... I don't know,” she admitted before clinching her eyes shut once more. “I feel so... so _dirty_ now.”

Atrina's look turned to one of surprise. “What? Why?”

Wanda raised her head up as her hands squeezed the fabric in her hands tightly. “I had _sex_ with Cailan, Atrina! He was _married_! I freaking gave him my virginity without a second thought!” She fell backwards onto the bed.

“You didn't know at the time--”

“I was in denial, you mean?” Wanda huffed as she covered her face with her handkerchief. “Even when I held up that barrier at the Circle, I believed it was all just my mind creating the images. I've _only_ ever felt sore-- even at Ostagar. I knew I'd live, I wasn't afraid. Did I tell you that I took down a hurlock with no help?”

Atrina gave her a small smile. “No, but I'm not surprised. You're a pretty powerful mage.”

Wanda sat up. “Right? I mean, how in the void am I so powerful? I know I'm related to Hawke-- who we don't even know is a mage or whatever, but _I'm_ powerful. _Me_! And I couldn't stop stupid fake Wylen from stabbing me!” She growled suddenly, magic jumping off her hands and hitting the curtain on the window. The spark of magic turned into fire, which threatened to burn down the curtains and possibly the whole inn.

Atrina leapt off of the bed, grabbed the water pitcher, quickly tossing the water onto the curtains. “Wanda!”

“Maker! I- I didn't mean to do that!” Wanda exclaimed as she started to shake again. “Th-this has never happened before...”

Atrina moved back to her side. “Wanda... your magic is connected to your emotions. Take a deep breath...” She knelt beside her and took her hands in hers. “Remember your training. I know you must have memories of growing up in the Circle, just like I have memories of growing up in the alienage. So, talk to me...”

Wanda nodded stiffly as she took a deep breath, closing her eyes. “I... remember growing up in the Circle... J-Jowan and I played together a lot...”

Atrina gave her hands a squeeze, encouraging her to continue. Wanda's face suddenly twisted into one of frustration, her hair starting to lift on its own, right before Atrina felt a shock on her hands. “Ow!” She jumped up and shook her hands, trying to shake the tingling feeling out of her fingers.

Wanda growled as she stood from the bed. “Why am I having these memories?! I wasn't born here! This makes no sense _whatsoever_! And now I'm _hurting_ people and setting things on _fire_! I know I said at one point I'd like to set things on fire with my mind, but I'd like actually to be able to _control_ it!”

“Wanda!”

“What?!”

“Take a breath,” Atrina said as she rubbed her fingers together. _My fingers keep tingling._ “Sit back down, relax, and _think_. Focus on those memories-- you've already been trained on how to control your magic.”

“Oh, really? Explain why the almost burning down the inn and shocking you!”

Atrina resisted the urge to roll her eyes. “As I said before, your magic is connected to your emotions right now. You controlled it easily before--”

“That's before I realized that this was _real_!” Wanda said in a harsh whisper.

“But you've _still_ had the training! You just need to relax.”

Wanda groaned as she sat back on the bed. “I don't know how to anymore...”

“Think about your training. Think about Irving and all the other teachers you had.”

Wanda sighed before sitting up straight and thinking. “Okay... okay, I remember that I used to have this crystal to help focus on while meditating. Only when I was younger though.”

“Do we need to find it, or...?” Atrina asked with a small frown. “I mean, we're right across from the Circle.”

Wanda shook her head. “No, I don't need it for this... I hope.” Taking in a deep breath, she closed her eyes before releasing her breath slowly.

Atrina moved to the chair by the desk and sat down. Not knowing how long Wanda would need, she pulled one of her packs over to her and sifted through it to find her journal.

“...Atrina?”

“What?” she asked as she looked up.

Even with her eyes closed Wanda sent Atrina an annoyed look. “You're making too much noise.”

Atrina winced. “Sorry... um, should I step outside?”

“No, just... be quieter?”

“Right... quieter,” she mumbled as she leaned back into the chair.

Wanda relaxed when she made no further sound. Minute by minute passed as Wanda meditated. When she was done, Atrina jumped in surprise, having zoned out while she had waited.

“Okay... I think I'm good now,” Wanda said.

Atrina smiled as she stood up. “Good. Feel up to talking now?”

Wanda sighed. “Yeah, I guess.” She laid back on the bed, reaching for her pillow and hugging it.

Atrina joined her on the bed. “So... you believe this is all real now?”

“Yep...”

Laying down next to her, Atrina stared up at the ceiling, thinking over her next question. “...do you want to go back?”

“What would be the point? My parents are still dead. The only one who'd be waiting for me would've been you and you're here with me.” Wanda raised on her arms as she looked at her. “Do _you_ still want to go back?”

Atrina stared at her for a long moment. “No... I want to stay,” she said with a small smile. “I actually have family here-- a father who cares about me, two cousins that are more sibling like, you, everyone we travel with...”

Wanda laid back down and turned on her side to face her. “And Alistair.”

Her smile grew. “And Alistair.”

“So you're going to take the plunge?”

She glanced away as she thought about it. “I want to...”

“Buuut?”

She closed her eyes with a sigh. “I don't exactly have the best luck with men...”

Wanda rolled her eyes. “Oh please.”

“And what about you?” Atrina asked as she sat up and turned the subject around. “You've stopped talking to Zevran. _Zevran_! Your favorite character and love interest out of all the games?”

Wanda groaned and put her pillow over her face. “You know I've never really had an actual relationship... I've only had a few dates, but nothing... you know, concrete.”

“Wanda, how do you actually feel about Zevran?” Atrina asked, causing Wanda to peek at her from behind her pillow. “Not him as a character, him as a person.”

The mage frowned as she sat up. “I think... I think I love him? I hate being away from him...”

Atrina smiled softly as she placed her hand on her shoulder. “If you love him, then go for it. He cares about you. When we finally ate, he kept sending you these little looks when he thought no one was looking. He's been missing you too.”

Wanda blushed a little as she played with a corner of her pillow. “Really? He was?”

“Oh yeah,” Atrina said with a grin as she thought back to the assassin. “He was giving you these pining looks.”

Wanda put her chin in her hand as she leaned forward in thought. “Hmm... well, I should... I should talk to him, right?”

“I think so.”

Wanda frowned. “What if... what if he only sees me for sex though? What if--”

“Wanda, do you remember the conversations for the relationship with Zevran in the game?” Atrina raised a brow as she asked.

Wanda's frown deepened. “Um... crap, no, I don't! What if I say the wrong thing?!” She turned to her and grabbed Atrina by the shoulders. “What if I screw this up!”

“You're not!”

“But I might! Remember when I first did his romance I said the wrong thing and he was upset with me so I had to reload?” Wanda asked as she stood from the bed. “I can't just go back and reload if I screw up! Atrina, what am I going to do?”

Atrina watched her pace around the room in a panic. “Hey, relax, all right?” She stood up and moved to her side. “You've had conversations and moments with him that didn't happen in the game and things have turned out great.”

“Yeah, I know, but--”

“No 'but's. He's smitten with you, but he doesn't realize it yet. Remember, he's not used to being in love.”

Wanda frowned as she rubbed her arm. “Right...” She let out a sigh. “I'm just... I know I've been acting confident with all the sex and flirts, but now that it's actually real...”

“Wanda, it's been real this whole time,” Atrina reminded. “You're just now aware.”

“But I've only been confident because I didn't think anything would happen later on anyways!”

Atrina let out a sigh as she rubbed her forehead. _I'm getting a headache..._ “Look, remember how you were telling me that Alistair was going to fall for me anyways?”

“Yes...”

“You were right, and you already know Zevran cares about you. Just... keep going. You're doing something right,” she said, trying to give her the confidence she needed. “We don't have to worry about it tonight, you know... Let's get some sleep?”

Nodding, Wanda moved back to the bed with a sigh. “By the way... I'm sorry for keeping you two apart right now,” she said as Atrina pulled back the covers.

She frowned looking up at her. “What do you mean?”

“Well... I think Alistair's planning to talk to you again, the moment you two have a moment... And here I am, taking up your time.” Wanda slipped under the covers and snuggled against her pillow.

Joining her, Atrina turned over to look at her. “Him and I can talk later...” she said softly as she thought back to when she gave Alistair the puppet.

Wanda narrowed her eyes at her. “Why are you smiling like that?”

Atrina blinked. “Hm? Oh, um... I might've... made him a present and gave it to him already when he got here...”

Wanda's eyes widened. “What did you give him?”

Atrina flushed suddenly. “Um... I gave him the grey warden puppet...”

Wanda sat up. “The one you can buy from Bodhan to give him in the game to make his approval raise by fifty?”

Atrina pouted a little. “ _I_ made it, actually... And I didn't do it to get approval like in the game... I did it because I wanted to apologize for how I've been.”

Wanda scoffed as she laid back down. “Which gives you approval.”

Crossing her arms, Atrina rolled onto her back. “Fine, it gave me approval.”

“You're actually going to do it,” Wanda said softly. “You're going to take the plunge.”

“Ugh, I don't know! I don't want to screw--”

“Aaand now you're sounding like me!”

Atrina huffed. “Well-- we're both just really unsure and insecure!”

“Damn straight!” Wanda confirmed.

They glanced at each other right before bursting out into giggles. “We're hopeless.”

Wanda scoffed. “No kidding...”

Atrina smiled at her. “But... I think we're going to be okay...”

Wanda studied her for a moment. “Yeah... yeah, I think you're right.” She let out a soft sigh as she turned over onto her back. “I'll talk to Zevran soon... But you got to talk to Alistair.”

“Oh, I will.”

“Good.” Wanda waved her hand in the air, extinguishing the candles in the room, leaving them in darkness.

Atrina turned over onto her side and looked up at the window. Moonlight seeped through the crack in the curtain. A quiet sigh left her as her mind turned over the events of the day. She closed her eyes, hoping to block the thoughts and praying for sleep to come.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *waving* Heya! Sorry for the short chapter X'D Life's been hectic, my job has been working me to the bone. Next chapter will be at Haven! That'll be fun, yeah?  
> *runs off*


	25. Stairway to Haven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The road to Haven brings out moments that neither Atrina nor Wanda expected.

* * *

 

 

Wanda's soft breathing reached her ears. Slowly sitting up, Atrina slipped out of the bed, quietly moving to the door. The door clicked softly behind her as she closed it. Looking up she was met with Alistair closing his own door.

When he glanced up, he paused, staring at her in surprise. She watched as he gulped a little before moving to her. Her body tensed as he came closer, only to relax when he put a hand to her cheek.

Leaning into his touch, she closed her eyes as his lips brushed her forehead, sending a shiver through her.

“'Trina...”

Eyes snapped open and she was met with green instead of brown. Stepping back, she realized she was looking at Sam. “Wha...”

“I joined the army for you, wanting to build you a home,” Sam stated as he wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her flush against him. “I _died_ for you.”

An arm from behind wrapped around her chest, causing to look up over her shoulder to see Nelrous holding her, his chest pressed against her back. “I fought to save you. Had plans to give you a good and simple life. I _died_ for you.”

Atrina struggled against their holds. “W-what is this?” Panic filled her as she tried to pulled free from them.

“Will I die for you too?”

She tensed as she turned her head to see Alistair standing in front of them. He stood, covered in blood, his side torn, blood coming from the corner of his mouth. “Will loving you end with me dead?”

She shook her head. “N-no! Ali--”

“Or will I be forced to watch you die again?” Alistair turned years older before her eyes until Alistair she had met on Earth was standing before her. “You're _supposed_ to change things. I can't watch you die, not again.”

Feeling herself be released, she ran to Alistair and wrapped her arms around his neck. “No! I'll change things!”

His arms wrapped tightly around her, almost squeezing her too tight. “Maker, I can't lose you again.”

Leaning back, she kissed him roughly and with much feeling as she could. He kissed her back almost painfully before suddenly pushing her away. A cry left her as she fell back to the ground before looking up to see him running from her.

“Alistair!” she called before realizing they were in the midst of the fight with the archdemon. “No! WAIT!” She scrambled to her feet and chased after him.

The fighting around them was muffled as her heart pounded in her ears. Alistair bashed and slashed each darkspawn that came near him. He was almost to where the archdemon laid, waiting for death.

“ALISTAIR!” she screamed as she tried to catch up to him.

An arrow pierced his side, forcing him to the ground. She caught up to him and paused for a moment beside him.

He hissed in pain before looking up at her. A look dawned on his face. “N-no, Atrina!”

Without another thought, Atrina took his father's sword from him, the sword glowing blue. Dodging the hands that tried to grab her, to stop her, she ran towards the archdemon and didn't look back.

“Atrina!” he cried as he tried to get up to stop her. “DON'T! _ATRINA_!”

Before she knew what was happening, the blade was in the archdemon's head and suddenly she felt hot. A light blasted up and she could still hear Alistair's cries.

Her eyes snapped open just as she hit the ground. “Ouch!”

“What?! What happened?!” Wanda's voice came from above her. “Atrina? What... What're doing on the ground?” she asked as she peeked over the bed.

Atrina groaned. “Oh, you know... just sleeping,” she said as she slowly sat up.

Wanda rolled her eyes. “Clearly.”

Atrina stood and stretched. “I had a freaky dream, all right?”

“What happened?”

Sitting back on the bed, she sighed. “My head's too jumbled... Sam was there, then he wasn't... suddenly it turned into Alistair and me fighting the archdemon. He got hurt, I took his sword, he cried out to me, and I killed the archdemon...”

Wanda frowned. “Huh... maybe you were dreaming about your past life thing?” she asked with a yawn.

Atrina groaned as she fell back onto her pillow. “Older Alistair appeared too, just before the fight. He acted like I was messing up-- like I was going to let myself die again...”

“Well, maybe you need to change how you're doing everything? What do we know so far?”

A sigh left her. “Well, we know that I apparently killed the archdemon. Um, I killed Connor, sided with the Dalish, killing all the werewolves... Other than that, I'm not sure yet. Oh-- I think Morrigan was the one who sent Older Alistair to us.”

Wanda looked down at her in surprise. “What? Why?”

“To fix the mistakes I made? I'm not sure. I had a dream of her and Alistair awhile back, talking about me, both older. She apparently drank from the Well though, so Flemeth was the one pushing her...” Atrina sat up and glanced to the window. “Do you think... Flemeth might know more?” she asked as she looked back at her.

“Don't know.”

“When we go to confront her about Morrigan later, I'll have to try and remember to ask... with Alistair and others _not_ around...”

Wanda smirked. “Good luck, he won't let you out of his sight. He missed you _terribly_ while you were apart.”

Atrina laughed a little. “Okay, let's get up, it's almost time anyways.”

Wanda groaned before kicking the sheets off of her. “Fiiine, but I'm not happy about it.”

Rolling her eyes, Atrina got changed and ready. _Hopefully we can get through Haven quickly..._ A groan left her. “I forgot about the stupid Gauntlet quest thing...”

“The one at the temple? Ohhhh, yeah, I remember now. At least you know what's going to happen.”

“True...”

 

A loud yawn escaped Alistair as they traveled to the mountain trail. A small giggle left Atrina, causing him to send her a tired glare. “Oh, haha, it was _your_ dog that kept me up, you know,” he huffed. “You didn't bother to warn me he was a bed hog.”

She let out a laugh. “I thought you'd be one for cuddles.”

His cheeks pinkened a little as he raised his nose slightly in the air. “Well... _maybe_ \-- but _he_ isn't!” He pointed accusingly at Grunt, who tilted his head to the side. “He kicked me in the stomach a few times!”

“At least it wasn't any lower,” she mumbled, causing Alistair to look at her in slight surprise before he grinned.

“Thank the Maker for that. You'd be dealing with a _squeaky voiced Alistair_ ,” he said, making his voice high and squeaky sounding, which resulted in Atrina trying to stifle her laughter. “ _And we wouldn't want that!_ ” he said, continuing with his high pitched voice.

As a result Atrina ended up pausing in her walking, body bent over in laughter. Alistair waited next to her as she tried to calm down. Wanda turned around and put her hands on her hips, stifling her own laughter.

“You broke her.”

Alistair shrugged nonchalantly. “I think this is sufficient punishment for putting Grunt with me last night.”

Wanda smirked as she crossed her arms. “You realize this means _you'll_ have to lead us now?”

His eyes widened. “What? No, nonono! Things would go badly if I lead,” he began, unknowingly sending Atrina into another fit of giggles. “We'll get lost, people will die, and I'll end up stranded somewhere without any pants!”

“That'd be a sight to see, indeed,” Zevran spoke up as he rubbed his chin at the mental image.

“I...haha... trouble... haha b-breathing!” Atrina gasped out in between the giggles. Her sides started hurting.

“Interesting strategy,” Sten suddenly spoke up, causing everyone to look to him.

Atrina forced her laughter back. “What is?” she asked as her smile remained in place and small giggles escaped.

“Do you intend to slay the archdemon with terrible jokes as you keep going north until it turns south, attacking it from the rear?”

Atrina's smile faltered slightly, her laughter finally stopping. “Alistair's our secret weapon, you see?” Alistair stifled a chuckle. “The archdemon wouldn't see it coming.”

For a slight moment, she thought Sten's expression held slight amusement, but it happened so fast she wasn't sure if she saw it or not. “Truly, it would surprise me if my enemy countered attacked by running away and climbing a mountain.”

“Sten, do you have a problem?” she asked with a frown. _What's going on? We were fine just the other day._

“The problem, Warden, is that you're wasting time helping with things that are not what your order was set to do. Or have you forgotten that?” he asked as his expression hardened more. “What will this accomplish? How does this stop the Blight?”

Atrina tilted her head to the side. “You're talking about getting the urn?”

“Yes.”

A sigh left her as crossed her arms over her chest. “Well, we need Eamon to help us unite Ferelden--”

“How would the ashes of a dead woman help him?”

 _Because the game says so,_ she thought, biting her lip. Casting a glance to Wanda, she seemed to be just as unsure as she felt. “It's...” she began as she looked back to Sten. “It's the only thing we have to go on. I believe the ashes will help him.”

“It is clear your faith is strong in this,” he said before moving into a fighting stance as he gripped the sword on his back. “But it is pure insanity and a waste of time! Warden, I am relieving you of command, draw your weapons!”

“You're _what_?!” Atrina felt herself being pulled back before Alistair stepped in front of her, sword and shield in hand. Quickly she moved in front of him and pushed on his chest. “No!”

He looked at her in shock, which gave her the chance to push back enough to make him take a step back. “But--”

“Stand down, I got this,” she said as she glanced back at Sten. “Trust me.”

Alistair looked between her and the qunari before backing down. A sigh left him as he put his weapons back. “Be careful...”

Atrina nodded as she took out her own weapons. “All right, Sten, let's see if you can take it from me,” she said, sounding braver than she felt. “Let's move over there,” she said as she pointed to the field on the side of the road. He nodded in agreement before leading the way. _Holy Maker above, I am insane!_ she thought as got into a fighting stance.

“Defend yourself, Warden!” Sten turned to her and lifted his sword to swing. Ducking down, she grabbed some dirt and threw it into his eyes, forcing him to stumble back.

Not wasting the chance, she kicked his leg and slashed his arm. Blindly he hit her with his arm, knocking her to the ground. She groaned as he stood to his full height, raising his sword above his head. As his sword came down, Atrina rolled out of the way, feeling the blade slice part of her braid.

 _Yikes, that's sharp!_ Standing, she quickly raised her cloaking, as Sten turned to her. Moving silently around him, she held her breath as he looked for her.

“Enough of your tricks, Warden!” he shouted before stumbling when Atrina jumped onto his back.

Her sword and dagger fell to the ground as she gripped his neck. His hands went to try and pull her off, but she latched onto him and squeezed. He gasped for breath as he stumbled more.

“Yield, Sten,” she growled in his ear, her grip tightening as much as she could.

He fell to his knees, grasping at her arm. He gripped it tightly before pulling on it. Atrina winced at the pain and cried out as he pulled it back from his neck. He threw her off of him with a shout.

Landing on her back, she let out a whimper as she felt her leathers tear, a rock japping into her back. Feeling the ground shake, she opened as Sten came to stand over her. As if she held no weight, he picked her up by the collar of her armor, her hands gripping his arm.

“Atrina!” Alistair called out as he moved to intervene.

“D-don't!” she shouted, making him pause. “I- I'm not done y-yet...”

Sten's grip on her tightened. “Yield, Warden, there is nothing else that you can do. I know your tricks.”

Looking at him through one eye, she saw a flicker of remorse in his eyes. “Heh... you don't really want this, do you?”

His glare darkened. “I will do what must be done.”

“Heh... so will I,” she mumbled, before pulling out a flask. Without hesitation, she held her breath as she threw it to the ground, causing it to shatter at his feet. Smoke pillowed up from the ground, choking Sten as he breathed it in. _Thank you, Morrigan!_

“Vashedan!” he coughed out before getting a kick to the chin, his grip loosening on Atrina.

She pulled a small knife out of a pouch and stabbed his arm with it. Sten cried out as he dropped her. Landing on her feet in a crouch, Atrina brought her knife up to his side and held it there. The smoke cleared and she pressed the blade against him, breaking the skin enough for blood to drip down. “I said... _yield_ , Sten.”

He froze as he looked down at her in astonishment. “I... yield,” he said with a sigh as she stepped back from him. “I was wrong... you are strong enough.”

“Damn right,” she stated as she sheathed her knife.

“So... what now, Warden?” Sten asked as he still didn't move.

Glaring at him, she moved to pick up her weapons. “I suppose that's up to you now, isn't it?” she asked as she placed her sword and dagger back in their sheaths. “Can you handle following an elven woman? Or will this be a problem again?

His eyes downcast at the ground as he seemed to think it over. “...I will follow your lead, Warden. I was wrong about you, therefore, I will not question you again.”

Atrina stared at him for a moment. It was tempting to just cut him loose. _I have never had him do that to me before in the game._ “Please don't, because it will make finding your sword a lot more awkward later.”

His eyes lifted back up to hers, wide in surprise. “You... you will still help me locate Asala.”

“I promised, didn't I? I don't make a habit of going back on my word,” she said as she put a hand on her hip and gave him a half smile. “Now, come on, Wynne's probably waiting to scold us as she heals us.”

Sten silently picked up his sword before following her back to the others. Wynne greeted them with a scowl as she healed them both.

“Are you sure we can trust him after this?” Alistair asked with a glare towards Sten.

Atrina sighed as she rubbed her shoulder. “He's not going to do anything again.”

Alistair frowned at her before sighing. “If he does, you're not stopping me.”

She gave him a lopsided smile. “I stopped you because I had to be the one to defeat him or else he would've tried again. _I'm_ the leader, remember? Unless... you _do_ want to be leader?”

His eyes widened. “I'm pretty sure we went over this already.”

She grinned at him. “Then trust me, 'kay?” she said as she tapped his nose lightly.

His cheeks pinkened a little before he grabbed her hand. “Always.” He squeezed her hand for emphasis.

Blushing a little herself, Atrina hummed a little. “Good. Now, we should get going.”

With one last squeeze of her hand, he let it go. “You should probably change into new armor... are you sure you're all right?”

“Wynne healed any wounds, but I will be sore for a little bit...”she said with a shrug as she moved to redo her braid. She was lucky that Sten only cut off the end. “I'll change when we get to Haven, shouldn't be too much longer.”

An hour later they found a trail that seemed to have been abandoned. Following the map, they made their way up the trail, the air becoming colder the higher they progressed.

“O-okay, I'm cold,” Atrina stated with Zevran nodding in agreement.

“I am missing Antiva more and more,” he mumbled, his teeth starting to chatter.

“I guess it is a bit nippy,” Alistair commented.

“A _bit_? I feel like my nose is about to fall off,” Wanda stated with a grumble.

“Say no more, friends!” Bodhan said with a huge smile as he got down from his wagon. “I have winter clothes just for this occasion.”

After exchanging items and coins, everyone (who needed it) was bundled up and ready to go. By the insistence of the others, Atrina purchased new armor, settling for leather armor that covered her legs and arms.

“Goodbye, duster armor.”

“You can always get more in Ozammar,” Wanda reminded with an amused smirk.

“Hmm, you do have a point.”

“Besides, you only want to wear it to get Alistair's attention,” she whispered in Atrina's ear.

She turned pink. “No! Well... maybe. He did admit to me that he liked me in it.”

Wanda laughed. “Wow, when was this?”

“When I had to force him to stay still by sitting on him,” Atrina said, causing Wanda to laugh more.

“I think we're here,” Alistair said as he looked up from the map, not having heard their conversation. “Bodhan, you and Sandal should wait here, we don't know what might happen when we get there.”

“Right you are! Come, Sandal, we'll set up camp.”

“Yay!” Sandal hopped off the wagon, excited to set up camp.

“Wish I had his excitement,” Bodhan said with a laugh.

Waving goodbye to them, the group headed off. Atrina slipped back to Sten's side. “So...”

“What's done is done, Warden, there is no need to talk about it.”

She glanced at him. “All right then.”

“...I am,” he began quietly. “Grateful that you still wish to help me.”

“I just want you to trust that I'm doing what I can,” she said as they walked. “I know this feels like a waste, but there won't be anyone to fight the darkspawn if we can't end the civil war that's raging around us.”

“...Noted.”

The path ended with a village at the end and it looked mostly deserted. “Creepy...” Wanda mumbled as they ventured forth.

“Halt!” a guard called as they approached. “Who are you? What are you doing in Haven?”

“We're looking for Genitivi and his captors,” Atrina stated.

“There is no one here by that name. You need to leave.”

“If he's not here, may we look around?”

“We don't like outsiders.”

 _I feel like we're getting nowhere,_ Atrina thought, holding back a sigh.

“Where is everyone?” Alistair asked with a frown.

“They are in the Chantry, where Revered Father Eirik is giving a sermon.”

“Father?” Leliana questioned. “Only women can be priests--”

“That's how it's always been in Haven,” the guard stated, cutting her off. “It is tradition. Now, you lowlanders need to leave.”

“Can we stock up before we go?” Wanda asked with a pleading look. “We've traveled so far...”

The guard narrowed his eyes at her. “All right, go to the store, but then leave,” he stated before telling them where to go.

“Hmm, a quiet village, clearly full of secrets... I wonder if they use chains? And I wonder if they might invite me,” Zevran said with a smirk when they were further away from the guard.

Wanda let out a laugh before quickly stifling it. “Um...”

Atrina smiled slightly as she shook her head. “Come on, let's snoop around.”

“This village feels... dark.”

 _Memory serves right, it is..._ Atrina thought as they went through the village.

After exchanging coins with the shopkeeper, it didn't take them long at all to find the body of one of Redcliffe's soldiers, and suddenly almost the whole town was upon them.

“We need to find Genitivi!” Alistair shouted as he knocked back the guard with his shield.

“I don't think he's here!” Atrina shouted back as she kicked the feet out from a villager.

“Maybe the Chantry?” Wynne suggested as she shielded Leliana from an attack from behind.

“Yes! He must be there,” Leliana said in agreement as she pulled out a dagger and slashed the man that Wynne had knocked back. “Surely this 'Father Eirik' is the leader.”

“We need to get to the Chantry!”

“I don't think we can get anywhere with the whole town on us like this!”

“Move,” Morrigan said as she shot magic at the villager attacking Wanda.

The villager screamed as he jumped back, his skin starting to glow. Moving back, he fell against some of the other villagers, letting out a scream just before his body exploded from the inside out, killing some of the other villagers in the processes.

Blood and other bits sprayed everywhere. Alistair raised his shield in time to block himself and Atrina from the downpour. Slowly he lowered the shield when things stopped hitting it and looked around.

“...I'm not even going to look at myself,” Leliana commented as she lowered her arms.

Atrina covered her mouth in surprise at the carnage. “Holy...”

“Well, I see _you_ made it without the blood,” Zevran commented as he shook his hands, blood flying off.

“Shields are useful,” Alistair stated with a shrug as he earned a smile from Atrina.

“I did tell you to move,” Morrigan stated, looking as clean of blood as ever.

“Well, that was gross,” Wanda commented as she and Wynne joined them. She and Wynne had remained clean as well.

“I agree. That was a bit excessive, Morrigan.”

Morrigan scoffed as she turned away from the elder mage. “It work, did it not?”

“That surely couldn't have been all of the village,” Leliana asked as Atrina turned to her. “Others must still be in their homes.”

“And some have to be at the chantry.”

“Some of us should stay here, keep an eye out for anymore that might come out of their homes,” Alistair stated as he looked towards the homes.

“You're right. We need a defense.” Atrina turned to Sten. “You can guard the path to the chantry; you and Grunt will be the first line of defense--”

Grunt whined at her words, cutting her off. He moved to her side and leaned against her, his brown eyes begging.

Wanda giggled a little. “I think he's tired of being left behind.”

“I know the feeling,” Alistair mumbled, causing Atrina to give him a side eye.

“Ugh, fine. Men,” she groaned, earning a bark from Grunt and a 'hey!' from Alistair. “Leliana can guard the outside of the chantry. Wynne can stay out here and keep you healed. Wanda--”

“Uh-uh! _I'm_ going with you as well.”

“I shall watch your back,” Zevran added.

“Fine, let's just go.” She glanced at Alistair. “I'm not even going to _try_ to order you to stay behind.”

He grinned at her. “Good.”

 _I could really use Oghren right about now... why didn't I go there first?_ she thought as they raced up the hill towards the chantry.

More cultist appeared on their path, forcing them to fight their way to the top.

“They _really_ don't want us up there!” Zevran shouted.

“That just means it's where we need to be!”

Once at the top of the hill, Alistair kicked down the door, and was greeted by guardsmen holding their swords towards them. “Well... I say we're in the right place.”

“I had heard there had been visitors snooping about,” said an older with a staff in his hand.

“Father Eirik, I presume? And a mage at that,” Atrina stated as she pointed her sword and dagger at him. “Give us Genitivi and we'll leave.”

“You will tell others about us,” he said as he raised his staff. “You will not be going any--”

Wanda quickly raised her staff and pointed it at him, paralyzing him and the guards around him. “Yeah, don't think so.”

Suddenly one of the guards beside Father Eirik started to glow, causing everyone to turn their attention to him.

“You might want to step back,” said Morrigan from behind the others, standing outside the building.

Atrina turned to her as the glyph on the ground under the guards started to fade. “Are you serious--”

Alistair pulled her back with him as the guards and Father Eirik started moving once more. Practically out the doors of the Chantry, it wasn't long before the guard exploded, killing most of the guards around him. Father Eirik barely put a shield up in time, protecting himself from the blast.

Atrina and the others quickly took down the father and the last of the cultist in the building. Women and children ran from hiding places the moment the fighting stopped. No one even tried to stop them.

Turning to Morrigan, Atrina crossed her arms. “Really?”

Morrigan rolled her eyes. “It was taking too long.”

“We _just_ got here.”

She shrugged. “It matters not now.”

“Look, why don't you guys find Genitivi?” Wanda suggested walking up to them. “I want to see if I can find anything here.”

“I shall help,” Zevran stated as he moved to her side.

Atrina shrugged. “All right, we'll let you know when we found him.”

While the others looked around the chantry to try and find Genitivi, Wanda went straight for looking for anything to loot from the cultist. It was silent as she and Zevran worked, a slightly awkward silence.

“Oooh, I found a medallion.” She grinned as she stood and held it up. “This is a strange one...”

“I am curious, Wanda…” Zevran began, causing her to look at him. “How well-versed are you in poetry? Antivan poetry specifically.”

She blinked at him before trying to stifle a laugh. “Um, well, not Antivan at least.”

“Wonderful! Would you care to hear some?” he asked with a grin.

“I'm all ears.”

He cleared his throat before reciting the poem Wanda only now vaguely remembered from the game. Regardless, it made her laugh.

“I am happy to see you smiling again,” he admitted after explaining where the poem originated from. “Ever since Denerim-- well, you have looked so _unhappy_ … such an unflattering expression for such a lovely face.”

Wanda put her lips together in a thin line as she glanced away from him. What could she say? “You're right… it's not you, though!” she said quickly. Suddenly she was afraid he would get the wrong idea.

He stepped closer to her and raised his hand. Gently guiding her by the chin, he turned her head towards him, having her look down at him. “I am glad to hear that, but... whatever it might be, Wanda, I...” His expression softened as his thumb lightly stroked her bottom lip. “I am here to listen.”

She blinked her eyes, feeling them start to water a little. Warmth flooded her as she felt her heart squeeze a little. “Zevran...” she whispered as she put a hand to the one that held her face. “Thank you.”

He smiled in response before reaching up and lightly kissing the corner of her mouth. Her eyes fluttered closed at the gesture.

“Wanda! We found him,” Atrina called, causing Wanda's eyes to open once more.

Zevran pulled away as they turned to see Atrina stepping out from a room that Wanda didn't remember being there before.

Atrina didn't see the moment shared between the couple as she walked over to them. “He knows where to go, but we need a medallion or something--”

“Oh, you mean like this?” Wanda asked as she held up the necklace she found, while ignoring the flush she felt on her skin. She glanced at Zevran to see him give her a smile just for her and she felt warm once more.

Atrina looked between the two of them for a moment, noticing how close they were standing now. A smile lit her face and Wanda held back rolling her eyes.

“Genitivi?” Atrina asked as Alistair helped an older man out of the secret room. “Is this it?”

“I... yes, that is,” Genitive said as he took it from Wanda's hand. “Here, I'll show you the way.”

“Um, is he... going to be okay?” Wanda asked with a frown.

“I have numbed his foot for now, but it may need to be cut off later on,” Morrigan answered.

“Should we grab Wynne to help?”

Morrigan let out a sigh. “I suppose I could use the spinster's help.”

“Let's worry about my foot after we get to the mountain,” Genitivi insisted, urging them forward.

“All right... Let's go.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m alive! I swear it! Life’s been... well, this last week in particular hasn’t been the greatest. Started out amazing, but ended on a very sour note...  
> But, bright side! I got this chapter out! I was stumped on one part— just the one!  
> I have discovered that Haven is so hard to write though!  
> Which is why this ends with them leaving the chantry instead of going straight to the temple. x’3  
> Hope you enjoy!
> 
> EDIT: Thanks to Jorvach for the idea, this chapter is now “Stairway to Haven” instead of “Road to Haven”! Wish I could take credit for the play on words, buuut it’s all the awesome Jorvach‘s creativeness! I’m horrible at titles anyways, hardest part of writing (besides summaries...) sooo, I appreciate the ideas! :D <3


	26. Of Dragons and Regrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Onward to the Temple of Sacred Ashes, where there are cultists, baby dragons, a spirit that likes to make people think of their biggest regrets... did we mention the dragons?
> 
> Finally! Dragons in Dragon Age!

* * *

 

Behind the Chantry a path led up to a cave entrance. Stairs carved from the rocks of the cave took them deep inside. Atrina shivered as her breath appeared in front of her. Was it the cold or the fact that this place was ancient?

_I can't believe this is really happening... We're actually finding Andraste's ashes! This would be like visiting the location of Jesus Christ's tomb, or Ghandi's... Wow, I’m impressed I remember those things._

“This is like in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade,” Wanda whispered to her.

Atrina nodded. “Yeah. Wait... did that one involve a giant hairy dog thing?”

“No! That was Star Wars.”

“Oh! Crap... I can't really remember any of those.”

“You two realize that your voices echo slightly in here, yes?”

They jumped a little and turned to see Zevran giving them a curious look with a brow raised.

“Um...”

“No, no, you don't have to explain-- even though I am beyond curious,” he said with a slight chuckle. “Do not worry, I don't believe the others heard you; the three seem too focused on Genitivi for now-- though I can't speak for Grunt.”

Grunt barked a little, letting them know that, he too, heard their conversation.

The women winced before Wanda cleared her throat a little. “Um... I'll tell you later?” She directed the question to Atrina. Considering they haven't talked about telling anyone at all about their secret, she couldn't just _tell_ Zevran without an 'okay' from her best friend.

Atrina rubbed her eyes a little as she sighed. “Yeah, sure... Tell him when we get out of here though, all right?”

Wanda beamed a little as she nodded. “Right, of course.”

“Here it is!” Genitivi said in delight, bringing them out of their conversation. “Now if I can just remember how he did it... I, yes, that's it.”

Atrina joined his side as he placed the medallion into the slot on the door. The door slowly opened, creeking as it went. Another shiver went through her as the vast temple covered in ice and snow opened up to them. _That was most definitely_ not _from the cold._

It was quickly decided that Wynne and Morrigan would look after Genitivi and his injuries, while the others went on ahead and searched for the Urn.

“I want to explore as well, but I can remain here-- there's so much here I can look at and try to translate.”

“Be careful, there could be more cultist here,” Atrina warned before they headed off.

“You know, I bet Leliana is hating that she's missing this,” Alistair commented as he looked around. “This place is so huge! Do you really think the ashes are here?”

“Only one way to find out; onward!” Wanda said, pointing her staff towards the stairs leading up.

Atrina laughed lightly as she followed after her. “You're feeling better.”

Wanda shrugged. “Well,” she began as she glanced at Zevran. “I might have had help.”

Zevran almost looked stunned for a moment before quickly smiling at her. “I told you poetry helps.”

“Wait, wait,” Alistair said, shaking his head as he turned to the assassin. “You told her _poetry_? You?”

Zevran chuckled lightly as his cheeks turned slightly darker. “What can I say?”

“How come you never gave me poetry? I- I mean... to use.” Alistair cleared his throat as his own cheeks turned slightly pink.

“Ah, I didn't say it was good poetry.”

“Oh, well.”

Atrina blinked at him in shock. “Wait... what?”

“Nothing!”

Grunt moved in front of Atrina and growled towards the stairs, bringing everyone back into focus. A mage stood at the top, his staff pointed to them.

Battle ensued throughout the temple the higher they went. The cultists popped out of every corner and attacked. The higher they went, the more they faced.

“Actual dragons for a dragon cult, lovely,” Atrina said after they took down the last of the dragonlings that attacked them in the chamber with the eggs.

Wanda moved over to the eggs. “Hmm, think we can take an egg?”

“And do what, exactly?”

“Weeell, maybe we can raise a dragon--”

“Nope! Not happening.”

Wanda pouted. “Oh, come on! You want a baby dragon too!”

“We don't exactly have a place to _keep_ a dragon egg, nor do we know how to _take care_ of one.”

“Fiiiine.”

“There could be books here on how to take care of one,” Alistair added, earning a look from Atrina. “Not that we need to find it, of course?” He gave her a sheepish smile.

“I'll keep in mind of your love of dragons for the future, Wanda,” Zevran said as he wiped blood from his hands with a cultist's robe. “But for now, I am with Atrina on this.”

“Thank you, Zevran.”

“My pleasure.”

Wanda huffed. “You two are no fun.”

Eventually they found their way to the top of the mountain, only to be confronted by the leader of the cultists, Kolgrim. He ranted and raved about how Andraste would smell the blood of her children on them.

“You realize Andraste is dead, right?”

“Andraste has been reborn! She is held back by the ashes of Her old life! She is more radiant and more powerful than you can imagine! Not even the Tevintor Imperium could hope to stop her now! What hope do you have?”

“So the ashes _are_ here,” Alistair commented, gaining Kolgrim's attention.

“Ah, so it is the ashes that you seek? Hmm, yes, _yes_! Andraste's enemy can become her champion!”

“Someone's off their rocker,” Alistair mumbled.

“Clearly,” Atrina agreed and Kolgrim began shouting, calling his men to arms. “Wanda?” she shouted as she looked at the mage.

Wanda grinned as she raised her staff, paralyzing Kolgrim and his men before they could attack. The mages were the first to recover, already sending spells their way.

Atrina cloaked herself as Alistair charged one of the mages, dispelling any magic sent his way. While the first mage was occupied with Alistair, Atrina went after the second one as he tried to help his brethren. Wanda, Zevran, and Grunt focused on the main group as the wardens took down the mages.

Once the mages were down, the only one giving them trouble was Kolgrim, so they flanked him. The leader of the cultist managed to knock Wanda back, knocking the wind out of her for a moment. Zevran immediately came to her aid, keeping Kolgrim distracted long enough for Atrina to cloak.

Atrina got close and stabbed him in the side, only for the warrior to shout in rage before turning and backhanding her in the face. His gauntlet cut her nose a little when he hit her and all she could smell was blood in that moment. He swung his axe around in a wide arch, causing her to tumble back as she tried to avoid being hit. When she landed on the ground, Kolgrim raised his axe overhead, ready to strike her down.

“No!” Alistair jumped in the way, bashing him with his shield, knocking him back.

Kolgrim growled. “Andraste, give me the strength to take down these heathens!” he cried out before coming at Alistair like a madman, swinging his axe in front of him.

Trying to find an opening, Alistair moved in, only for Kolgrim's axe to catch onto his shield. He gasped in shock as the axe suddenly cut through the shield as if it was cheap metal. Before the axe could go down the full length, Alistair released the shield in fear of losing his arm. Kolgrim advanced, forcing Alistair back, until suddenly Grunt jumped on the Father's back. As his attention was forced off Alistair, he quickly stabbed Kolgrim as Grunt bit into his neck.

Zevran moved quickly to flank Kolgrim as the cultist began to cripple under the onslaught. Just as he slashed at his back, Kolgrim swung his axe one last time, slicing Alistair's chest. The axe sliced through the armor just as it did his shield.

“Alistair!!” Atrina stumbled to her feet and dashed towards him as he cried out in pain.

Zevran sliced open Kolgrim's throat, cursing the whole time as Alistair fell to his knees, holding his bleeding chest. While Zevran moved to help Wanda to her feet, Atrina quickly helped Alistair out of his breastplate the moment she realized the bleeding wasn't stopping.

She forced him to lay back as she lifted up his tunic and placed his cloak over the wound, trying to stop the bleeding. “Idiot!” she shouted as she tried to put pressure on the length of the slash.

His breathing had become heavy, showing in the cold air as he shivered. “Y-you know m-me,” he said, trying to give a smile, but it turned into a flinch.

Flashes in her mind of the dream she had of Alistair being hurt came to her mind. _But that was with the Dalish!_

Wanda quickly downed a lyrium potion as she moved to their side, bringing Atrina out of her thoughts. “Move, Atrina,” she ordered, putting a hand over Alistair's chest. Atrina removed the cloak as Wanda worked on healing him.

Atrina and Zevran watched anxiously as the scar slowly healed. When Wanda seemed to sway a little, Zevran moved to her side and held her steady.

“W-Wanda, stop,” Alistair said as he slowly moved to sit up. “It's fine for now, stop; you're overworking yourself--”

“N-no, I can--” Wanda's hand twitched as the light around it started to flicker.

“Wanda, you've never done one that big! You're healing all of me, not just the wound!”

Atrina grabbed her arm and pulled it down. The magic flickered as Wanda fell back against Zevran, breathing heavily. Zevran pushed her hair out of her face, clear concern on his features as he held her.

“Wanda?” Atrina felt her heart race. Two of the people she loved were getting hurt...

“We should... should get some place warm and...” Alistair was panting a little as he moved to stand.

Atrina was quickly on her feet and helping him up, urging him to lean on her as Grunt moved to his other side. “And get you some new armor.”

Zevran carried Wanda in his arms, her head resting on his shoulder. “Come, one of the rooms in the lower caverns should work. I believe I saw some armor there as well.”

“We'll continue for the Urn after you two rest a little bit,” Atrina stated as they headed to a warmer room.

 

They rested in a large cavern that had a brazier, Atrina and Zevran locating blankets and food. Alistair drank a lesser health potion to help with the wound. The slash on his torso was now scabbed over and would most likely scar.

He had a fresh tunic on when Atrina and Zevran returned. Grunt was at Wanda's side, helping to keep her warm.

“How is she?” Atrina asked as Zevran put another blanket over Wanda, keeping her warm.

“Better, she has more color in her face again,” Alistair answered as he tended to the fire. “She's just sleeping now.”

Atrina let out a sigh, feeling relieved. “And you?”

“I'm fine, really,” he said, flashing her a smile before his look turned to one of concern. “What about you? Kolgrim hit you pretty hard...”

Atrina raised a hand to her nose, feeling where the gauntlet cut her nostril. It was sensitive, probably bruised a little, but she wasn't really concerned about it like she might've been in the past. “I'm fine. But I'm still mad at you for jumping in the way.”

He shrugged as he stood up. “Then be mad. I don't regret it. If I get a scar in return for saving you, then it'll be worth it,” he told her, speaking from the heart, his warm eyes keeping hold of hers. “I'll even wear it with pride.”

She stared up at him, pure amazement on her face and in her heart. The hard look that was on her face crumbled away. Feeling overwhelmed by his words, his expression, and by her own emotions, she shoved the breastplate she had been carrying at his chest. “Here, see if this fits,” she mumbled as she turned away, blushing. “I'm going to cook us some food.”

When the food was ready, Wanda woke up, feeling back to normal. “What'd I miss?” she asked with a yawn as she stretched.

“Oh, nothing much, my dear Wanda, just Alistair attempting to prove his feelings to Atrina.”

“Oh, so, nothing new?”

Both Alistair and Atrina blushed, causing the couple to snicker. “Oh, yes, laugh it up, you two!”

Once they were finished eating, they went back up to the top of the mountain, ready to get the ashes and be done with Haven.

“What do you think Kolgrim meant when he said that Andraste had been reborn?” Alistair asked as they made their way out of the caverns.

“Easy; they think she's reborn as a dragon,” Atrina stated with a shrug only to get a shocked look in response.

“A dragon?!”

“Yeah, it makes sense, right? The dragon eggs, dragonlings, the drakes, the books on dragon cults--” Wanda commented before a terrifying roar shook the very ground on which they walked.

A large shadow flew overhead and the group rushed to hiding spots. Atrina and Alistair pressed against a wall on the bridge, Alistair was shielding her body with his newly found shield, in case of an attack, and Grunt was growling at the sky. Wanda placed a barrier over her and Zevran as they pressed against the opposite wall.

Peeking over the wall, Atrina gasped softly when the high dragon landed on a cliff overlooking them. It let out one more roar before settling down, as if it had just been declaring it was going to take a nap and not to bother it.

 _Kinda like a cat,_ Atrina thought as Alistair's jaw dropped in shock.

“Told you,” both Atrina and Wanda said before giving each other a shared smirk.

Alistair rolled his eyes. “All right, all right, you two were right.”

“Are we just going to stand here all day, or are we going to sneak past the dragon?” Zevran asked with a raised brow.

“Right...” Atrina looked over the wall again and scanned the way to their next destination. Reflecting the evening sun's light, was the gong she remembered from her playthroughs. She glanced back at the others. “We should probably avoid that gong.”

“Of course, because drawing any sort of attention to ourselves would most likely result in that high dragon swooping down on us,” Alistair said in agreement.

Atrina smirked as she looked at him. “Because 'swooping is bad'?”

He just stared at her before his lips twitched upward. “Ha, that really is sort of funny, isn't it?”

Wanda shook her head. “Flirt later. Let's go.” The mage led the way to the temple, everyone giving the gong a wide breach as they eased past it.

Once they were clear of gong, they warily glanced towards the sleeping dragon. It paid them no mind and slept on.

When the five entered the temple they let out a sigh of relief. “Why do they even have that thing?” Atrina asked.

“Call it down for dinner, maybe?” Alistair offered with a shrug.

“I, for one, am ready to be done with this mountain,” Zevran commented as they walked up the steps. “This has to be one of the most disappointing cults I have dealt with.”

Wanda raised a brow as she looked at him. “How many have you encountered?”

“Oh, just a small handful; one knew how to be creative with ropes and--”

“I think that's enough now, thank you,” Atrina said as they entered a hall that led out into a large room. “It's dark in here...”

“Got'cha covered,” Wanda said as she made the top of her staff glow.

Pottery and statues lined the walls, along with cobwebs and a couple of skeletons. Grunt sniffed the bones before moving on and sniffing the place out. He moved on towards the door in the room and growled softly at it.

Atrina moved to his side. “What is it, boy?”

“This place is... it's nothing like the rest of the ruins,” Alistair commented. “It... it has a different feel.”

A few of the dead torches lit up with fire suddenly and everyone turned to look at Wanda. “What? I didn't do it!”

“I bid you welcome, pilgrim,” an echo of a voice greeted, causing everyone to jump.

“Who..?” Atrina looked up at the door to see a knight standing in front of it. “...He wasn't there before, right?”

“Oh, good, you see him too,” Wanda mumbled, looking relieved.

Alistair's hand was warily on the hilt of his sword. “Who are you?” he asked as he moved to Atrina's side.

It warmed her heart that he so quickly moved to protect her, even if she really didn't need it. _Silly man..._

“I am the Guardian, the protector of the Urn of Sacred Ashes.” His voice still echoed and the longer Atrina stared at him, the more she swore she could see through him faintly.

“That's what we're here for, actually,” she said as she stepped forward. “If it's true that they can heal any ailment, we need them to cure a nobleman.”

“I have waited years for one to come and seek the ashes,” the Guardian said as he looked to her.”You are the first to arrive in a very long time,” he continued and explained how long he had been there, how he was one of the first disciples of Andraste.

“May we see the ashes?”

“You have come to honor Andraste, and you shall, if you prove yourself worthy.”

“So, what do we need to do?” Wanda asked, causing Atrina to glance at her in slight confusion.

_Why is she even asking?_

“It is not my place to who decide your worthiness. The Gauntlet does that,” the Guardian answered. “If you are found worthy, you will see the Urn and be allowed to take a small pinch of the Ashes for yourself. If not...”

“What is the Gauntlet?” Alistair asked.

“The Gauntlet tells the true pilgrims from the false. You will undergo four tests of faith, and we shall see how your soul fares.”

Atrina sighed a little. “Right, okay... let's get this over with then,” she said, ready to go through the doorway.

“Before you go,” the Guardian said, catching her attention once more. “There is something I must ask. I see that the path that led you here was not easy. There is suffering in your past-- your suffering, and the suffering of others...”

 _He's going to ask about Shianni, isn't he?_ she thought, feeling sad as she thought of her cousin. Just as in the game he was going to ask about their biggest regrets. _And Shianni is Tabris' biggest regret, so she’s my regret._

“The day you learned that Sam died,” he began completely throwing her off guard. Her heart almost felt like it stopped. “You blamed yourself, even though you were not there... Tell me, Atrina Tabris, did his engagement to you lead him to his death? Do you feel your love for him was a curse?”

Atrina looked at him in complete shock. _Sam? He's asking about Sam?!_ It was true, the only reason Sam even joined the Army/King's Army was so he could provide for her. But how? How could the Guardian know that? It was years ago. “Why him?” she whispered, staring at the guardian with wide eyes.

“Because his death is your greatest regret. Do you not believe that? Do you not believe that if you had never loved him, if you had never accepted his love, that he would still be alive to this day?”

She winced as her heart started to ache. “I... I used to believe that,” she admitted as she looked away. “But I don't anymore, because if I think that way, then it means all the moments we shared... the happy and the sad... were all for nothing.” Quickly she wiped her eyes when she felt them water. “A curse, though? I... don't have an answer.”

“You believe all who come to love you are doomed to die, doomed for heartbreak.”

Her heart dropped as her mind raced with images of Sam and even of Alistair. She swallowed hard before answering. “...Yes.”

“That's-- that's not true,” Alistair stated, causing her to turn to look at him. His expression made her heart ache. “You can't actually believe that...”

“Your love with Sam was beautiful; not a curse,” Wanda said as she wrapped an arm around her shoulder, giving Atrina a squeeze.

Atrina's eyes watered more now. Feeling someone take her hand, she looked up to see Alistair standing beside her, giving her a caring look.

“I can't imagine that he regretted loving you and being engaged to you...” Alistair said softly. “I may not have known him, but if what you told me about him is true, then he fought with all he had to come back to you. Maker knows I--” he cut himself off suddenly, turning pink as he cleared his throat. “Heh, well, um...”

“And what of you, Alistair, knight and Warden?” the Guardian said, turning his attention to him “You wonder if things would have been different if you were with Duncan on the battlefield. You could have shielded him from the killing blow. You wonder, don't you, if _you_ should have died, and not him?”

“I...” He glanced at Atrina before squeezing his eyes shut, a look of anguish and regret passing over his features. “Yes. If Duncan had been saved, and not me, everything would be better. If I'd just had the chance, maybe...”

Atrina turned more to him, her other hand going to his, holding his hand with both of hers now. He opened his eyes in surprise, but the look turned tender. Shaking her head, she squeezed his hand. “No, don't think that way, please. He didn't die because of you. You would be dead too--”

“If he were alive, things would be better. You wouldn't have had to lead. He would have trained you, been able to teach you everything about being a warden--”

“But I wouldn't have you.” Atrina squeezed his gloved hand tighter between hers as his mouth snapped shut. “If the King hadn't ordered for both of us to light the beacon then you would be dead and so would Duncan. I would have been alone in the end and probably be dead if it weren't for you, so stop thinking about the 'what if's. Duncan is proud of you, you're an amazing warden. I _need_ you, Alistair. Maker, I'd be lost without you.”

His eyes searched hers a look of disbelief on his face as all words seemed to be lost to him. “I...”

Stepping closer to him, she looked at him tenderly. “We're in this together, Alistair.”

A warm smile spread across his face. “Right... together.”

“And you... Wanda Amell?” The Guardian turned his eyes to Wanda.

Wanda's eyes grew wide and Atrina suddenly wondered what the Guardian could even say about her. _She doesn't feel guilty about Jowan and that would have been the mage origins thing--_

“You fear that you are a disappointment. To your parents, to Irving, to your dearest friend, Atrina...”

Wanda tensed up at his words. “I... well, maybe.” She gripped her staff tightly with both hands. “I mean... why am I even here, really? I'm... I'm not the hero here, Atrina is,” she mumbled as she looked to Atrina, who looked at her with wide eyes. “I'm... I think I'm here on accident... It was just supposed to be you, Atrina. I- I might…”

Atrina quickly stepped up to her and hugged her. “I think I'd be more scared if you weren't here, Wanda...” she spoke softly to her as Wanda hugged her back tightly. “Waking up in Thedas and not finding you? I'd have gone crazy without someone to talk to about my life back on Earth... If you only got here by accident, then it's a happy accident.”

Wanda laughed a little before sniffling. “Yeah... You would still be hung up about trying to get back to see me, determined this was all a dream.”

“You were never a regret to your parents, by the way.” Atrina pulled back and looked up at her with a smile.

Wanda sighed. “Maybe... I know my life hasn't been what they wanted...”

“All they wanted was for you to be happy and live. I doubt they ever expected you to be helping Grey Wardens stop a Blight,” Atrina said with a grin.

Wanda let out another laugh. “Okay, good point.”

“And now the Antivan Elf,” the Guardian spoke up, bringing them back to the present.

Zevran rolled his eyes. “Oh, is it my turn now? Hurrah, I'm so excited,” he said sarcastically, earning a soft giggle from Wanda.

The Guardian ignored his comment. “Many have died by your hand. But is there any you regret more than a woman by the name of--”

The annoyed look turned to one of shock. “How do you know about that?”

“Your path is laid out before me and plain to see-- in the lines of your face and the scars on your heart. It is all allowed to me. The question stands, however. Do you regret--”

“Yes,” Zevran answered quickly and bitterly. “The answer is yes, if that's what you wish to know. I do. Now move on.”

Wanda frowned as she stepped towards him. “Zevran?”

He glanced at her, but quickly looked away from her. “I...”

She placed a hand on his shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I'm here if you ever want to say what it is... but I'm not going to push you.”

He closed his eyes and placed a hand over the one she had on her shoulder. “Thank you, Wanda. Perhaps one day I'll tell, who knows?” He gave her a smile that didn't reach his eyes.

Wanda leaned down and kissed his cheek. “Take your time.”

“The way is open. Good luck, and may you find what you seek.” The Guardian glowed brightly until they had to look away. Once the light faded, they looked to see he was gone.

“Well, that was enlightening.”

“Wait, he forgot Grunt,” Wanda said, looking back to the mabari.

Grunt tilted his head to the side as he panted.

Atrina smiled as she moved to him and knelt down in front of him. “What's your biggest regret, boy?” she asked as she pet his head.

“I can tell you it's not kicking me all night,” Alistair commented, earning a bark from Grunt. “See? No remorse.”

“I think the worst he'd feel about is like, being caught eating Morrigan's food, but only because she froze his back legs in response.”

The four laughed a little when Grunt whined, his ears going back. He immediately perked up when Atrina gave him a good head scratch before standing. His tail wagged as he stepped up beside her.

“Come on, let's get this Gauntlet over with.”

Alistair pushed open the door and looked around. “Um, I don't think we're alone.”

The others followed him and found eight spirits in the room, lining the walls, four on each side. A door was on the other side of the room and they moved cautiously to it, but none of the spirits moved.

Alistair pushed on the door, but it didn't budge. “It's locked. Can you pick it?”

“Maybe.” Atrina frowned before looking back at the spirits. “Wait a minute-- this is a test. Let's talk to the spirits.”

“Are you sure--”

“Trust me,” she said with a smile as she moved over to the closest spirit.

It gave a riddle and when Atrina answered correctly, the spirit stated who it was before turning into a ball of smoke and light, flying to the door.  A clicking sound was heard throughout the chamber.

“Oh, I get it,” Alistair commented as he looked at the other spirits. “They're each from Andraste's life and each are a key to opening the door.”

“Ohhh, _now_ I remember,” Wanda said before quickly backtracking. “I- I mean, I understand now.”

Atrina tossed her a look that clearly said, 'smooth one.' “Okay, we know what to do. Time to answer some riddles.”

Quickly they answered each riddle, finishing the task with ease.

Alistair hummed as they moved to the now open door. “That wasn't so hard.”

Atrina grinned. “Told ya.”

“It has to be more difficult from here on out, yes? Where is the challenge?” Zevran asked with a shake of his head.

Wanda giggled. “I bet you'll get your wish, Zev.”

 _If I remembering right, I think we fight ourselves,_ Atrina thought as she stepped through the doorway ahead of the others. _Hope that's challenging enough for you, Zev._

Suddenly it was quiet around her, causing her to look up. When she did, she felt herself step back in shock from the figure in front of her. A man with blonde hair and green eyes turned to her with a smile.

“Hey, 'Trina. It's been a long time.”

She shook her head. “You're not him... You're not Sam,” she mumbled as she leaned back as he stepped towards her. Instead of feeling space behind her, her back touched wood, causing her to glance back to see the door had closed on her. _The others must still be in the room behind me._

Feeling a cool hand on her cheek, she let him guide her to look up at him. “You're right... but then again, I sort of am? No real way to explain it, 'Trina...” he said with a slight shrug. He looked at her in a loving way that made her legs feel weak.

Tears stung her eyes. “How?”

His eyes narrowed in thought and her heart ached a little at the familiarity. “That's hard to answer, I mean, I know I'm partially from your mind, but I was real here too... Your life is real here.”

Her breath hitched. It was real? All of it? She had been right? She and Wanda weren't in some coma?

“You don't have to go back. You have a good thing here. You don't need to cling to a life you hated.” He leaned down and placed his forehead against hers. “Let go of the guilt you have over me, okay?”

“I- I don't.”

He gave her a knowing smile. “Riiight... I know that little trip into the Fade brought feelings back. You deserve happiness, 'Trina, and you can have that here.” He pulled back and took her left hand in his. “I have something for you...” he told her as he took off her glove.

She blinked and tilted her head as he slipped a ring on her ring finger. “Not an amulet?”

He chuckled softly. “I thought I'd give you something I know you'd treasure...” he said before bringing her hand up to his lips.

Looking at her hand she felt her heart leap to her throat. “It's... the engagement ring you gave me...”

“I didn't regret you. Never regretted giving you my heart. I only regret that I couldn't give you the home I promised you...” Sam said, causing her to look back up at him. “But I think if you do it right this time, you can have that and more with him... Just let him in, don't hold back, Atrina.”

Tears streamed down her cheeks and she wasn't sure when she started crying. “Sam...”

Sam kissed her forehead before sighing softly. “Please take care of yourself...” His green eyes shined down at her as he cupped her cheek once more. “I love you and I want you to be happy.” He leaned down and kissed her softly, his lips feeling cold against hers.

Atrina's eyes closed and her hands moved to his cheeks before feeling him fade from her. Opening her eyes, she stared up at where his eyes had been, only to be met with an empty room. Lips trembling, she took a deep breath as she tried to calm her aching heart.

Suddenly the door behind her was thrown open and the others almost tumbled into the room. They looked frantically around before spotting her. Alistair let out a breath of relief before moving to her and taking her by the shoulders. “What happened? Are you all right? The door suddenly slammed shut behind you.”

She looked up at him, her eyes still wet with tears, and his eyes widened. Giving him a smile, she waved off his concern. “I'm fine,” she said brightly, but her voice cracked a little and her smile shook.

“Oh, you dropped your glove,” Wanda said, picking up the glove before handing it to her. Her eyes widened when she saw the ring. “Wait, is that--”

Atrina quickly took her glove from her. “I'll tell you later,” she mumbled as she put her glove back on. “Let's just get moving.”

Ending the conversation before it could start, she led the way. Immediately when she reached the next room, she was paralyzed, having not seen the paralyzing glyph.

“Atrina!” Alistair moved towards her before crying out in shock when he felt something stab him from behind. Turning quickly, he bashed his shield into the enemy before freezing when he saw a shadowy figure that looked eerily like Atrina.

The figure looked up at him in surprise before smirking. “Come on, Ali, fight me,” she taunted as she stood, sword and dagger in hand.

He jumped back when she slashed at him. Mentally he shook himself and moved to cut her down. The figure dodged the blade and crouched down, quickly kicking his legs out. He landed on the ground with a grunt only for the figure to straddle him, putting her dagger to his throat.

“You really think I'll actually return your feelings? That I care about you? _You_?” the figure laughed. It sounded too much like Atrina, moved too much like Atrina, and, the longer he stared up at it, the more it looked too much like her.

“I'm just going to get tired of you-- what can you even offer me? A home? A family? You could _never_ give me that,” it sneered down at him. “You have nothing to give because you are _nothing_.”

 _This isn't her, this isn't her!_ He gulped before the figure pressed further on the dagger, cutting into his throat a little.

A sword went through the figure, causing it to drop the dagger before turning into a cloud of smoke. The real Atrina dropped down next to him, eyes wide with concern and fear as she looked him over.

“Are you okay?”

He stared up at her, stunned for a moment, before shaking his head. Letting her help him sit up, he winced a little. “Yes, just... hadn't expected that.”

Studying the cut on his neck she let out a sigh of relief. “Thank the Maker, if I hadn't been fast enough you would need stitches,” she told him as she pulled out some salve to put on his neck.

He muttered his thanks as she spread the salve. “From Morrigan, I take it?”

A smile spread across her face. “Nope! I made this one. I've been making us a lot more things. I got the recipe for this one from the Dalish.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yep! They were willing to share some things with us after I helped them out. It should help numb the cut as it heals. Seeing as it isn't too deep, it shouldn't scar.” She looked up at him as she finished. “I would've used it on your chest if it hadn't been so deep.”

“Why didn't you use it on your face?” he asked, furrowing his brow as he glanced at her nose.

“Well, it wasn't a concern,” she replied before Grunt came over to them and licked her  cheek. “Awww, did you beat your evil counterpart, boy?”

“Am I the only one who had trouble?” Alistair asked with a slight pout.

“Not to worry, Alistair,” Zevran said, moving to his side. “Wanda had trouble with my evil counterpart.”

Wanda had her arms crossed and looked miffed. “He acted just like you, okay?”

“What did he do or say?” Atrina asked with a curious look.

Wanda turned pink and turned away quickly. “Th-that's not important, all right!” she stated, earning a few chuckles.

“Ah, well, I guess I feel a little better.” Alistair stood and picked up his sword and shield. “Who did you two fight?”

“I got Wanda,” Atrina said with a shrug. “Every time she'd go to cast a spell, I stabbed her and slashed at her.”

“And I got you, my friend,” Zevran said with a chuckle.

Alistair huffed and Atrina giggled. “What kind of test was this, anyway?”

“Don't really know, I guess just defeat ourselves? Though, no one really fought themselves, expect Grunt.”

Grunt barked and wagged his tail, looking like he was having a good time. He bounced around before moving on ahead of them.

“I guess we follow, come on!”

While the others moved forward, Alistair lingered behind a little.

 _“I'm just going to get tired of you-- what can you even offer me? A home? A family? You could_ never _give me that...”_

“Alistair?”

He looked up to see Atrina turning back to him with concern. Shaking his head, he smiled at her. “Right, coming.”

As hard as he tried to push the thoughts back, his mind kept repeating it. What _could_ he give her? He had nothing to his name, even before he became a Warden.

Looking down at the woman at his side, he caught her concern gaze and he smiled a bit brighter.

Maybe he didn't need to offer her anything other than what he actually had... His heart, and maybe that would be enough.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Looks around* Uh, hi? ^^' How is everyone? x'3
> 
> Soo, a couple of things, I guess. I changed the biggest regret from being Shianni to Sam for Atrina, because it felt more accurate to how Atrina has been viewing things versus how it was actually in-game. When the events of the City Elf origins took place, at the time, Atrina was thinking she was dreaming. Part way through it, she does consider that maybe this is all real, but still has the the thought it's a dream in her mind.  
> The part where the characters fight themselves. While I like how it is in the game and it makes sense, I wanted more in the actual story (and it just sort of came out that way and I went with it XD)
> 
> Another note; my life is back and forth crazy so, I just write when I can and hope for the best ^^' Thanks for reading! I appreciate everyone who reads, gives kudos, and comments! Thanks for sticking around!  
> And I past the one year anniversary of when I started posting this fanfic. *facepalm* Happy Anniversary? x'D


	27. Healing of the Arl and the Claiming of a King

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finding the ashes and healing the arl result in the outcome that Atrina dreaded... One thing she cannot change, no matter how hard she protests...

* * *

 

 

Atrina and Alistair moved forward into the next room, catching up with the others. “Why're we stopped?”

Wanda sighed and gestured to the chasm in the middle of the room. “Just the slight problem of there being no bridge.”

Atrina frowned before noticing a plaque on the ground. Kneeling down, she wiped the dirt away, revealing the words. “'Andraste loved Her Disciples as She loved the Maker. As we have faith in the Maker, so must we have faith in our friends.'”

“Oh! It's a puzzle.”

“Uh-oh, I'm terrible at puzzles,” Alistair said with a frown as he looked around. “Hey, you see those... thingies over on the side of the huge chasm? I bet they’re used for something.” He moved over to one of them. “Maybe I should touch them, or stand on them?”

“Yes,” Zevran began. “Next time we see a strange contraption, why don't you just go stand on it? If something bad happens, hey, we know it's a trap!”

Alistair took a cautious step back. “You... er... don't really think they're traps, do you? Oh, why are you two laughing _now_?”

Atrina and Wanda were both off to the side and laughing and whispering to one another. Trying to stifle their giggling, they turned back to guys, Atrina clearing her throat. “That whole exchange was just--”

“So perfect!” Wanda laughed once more.

Alistair turned pink as he sent them two a glare. “How is this even remotely funny? We could _die_.”

“Haha, we know, we know. Sorry,” Atrina said, giggling again.

“I love it when we hear funny ingame dialogue,” Wanda whispered to her.

Atrina stifled her giggles to shush her. “Okay, focusing.”

Grunt sniffed a tile piece before standing on it. He scratched an itch just as a piece of a bridge began to form.

“Ooh! A path that looks like it's there, but is really a trap! I want one!” Zevran said with over enthusiasm, making the girls giggle again.

Alistair rolled his eyes. “It's something more than we had before. Maybe if we keep moving on the pieces, it'll become sturdy enough to walk on.”

Atrina hummed. “All right, Grunt, stay there until we say. Everyone, let's play around with the other tiles.”

Around the chasm they went, testing each tile to see what worked and what didn't. It was decided that Atrina would be the one to try to get across the bridge with each solid piece. Wanda was already having a little issue with the height, so, she stood to the side and directed everyone on where to go.

“Okay, Zevran, move to the third tile on the left side.”

The moment Zevran stepped off, Atrina was suddenly teleported back to the start. She fell on her bum with a gasp. “Oww!”

Wanda winced. “Sorry!”

“Great, we have to start again. Are you all right?”

“I'm fine, Ali, and this is fine. Trial and error.” Atrina stood up and dusted off her backside.

“So much for the idea that each piece you're on stays solid.”

“Let's restart.”

After a couple more tries, Atrina made it across the bridge. She jumped in glee when the bridge became solid behind her. “Yay! We did it!”

“Maker's breath. Andraste only favored the clever, it seemed,” Alistair said with a sigh as he and the others joined Atrina on the other side of the bridge.

“It's a good thing you had us here then,” Wanda commented with a smirk.

Zevran chuckled. “Yes, Alistair would have fallen in by now.”

“Hey!”

“Oh, shush, you three! I think we're almost done,” Atrina stated before they entered the next room.

An altar stood in front of a wall of fire before them. “Um, should we have brought buckets of water, or something?” Wanda asked with a frown.

“Wait, what's that?” Atrina asked, squinting her eyes to look past the fire and further into the room.

“By the Maker, it's... it's the Urn of Sacred Ashes! That's it! That's really it!” Alistair breathed out in awe.

“That's all well and good, but how do we get there?” Zevran asked with a raised brow.

Atrina moved up to the altar and read the plaque. “'Cast off the trappings of worldly life and cloak yourself in the goodness of spirit. King and slave, lord and beggar; be born anew in the Maker's sight...'” Her eyes widened. _Oh holy-- I forgot about this part!_

“What? What’s wrong?” Alistair asked, moving to her side.

Atrina avoided his eye. “We, uh, have to take off our... uh, stuff.”

He looked at her curiously. “Our stuff?” he repeated before his eyes went wide with realization. “Wait, _everything_?”

“Well, I don't know! It doesn't exactly clarify,” Atrina said with a huff. Silently she wondered if it was possible to both grow pale and blush at the same time. That's how she felt in that moment. _Why, oh_ why _did I forget about this part? If I'm_ now _remembering right, in the version I played, everyone was down to their small clothes, but the sex scenes were all done in the small clothes too... oh, Maker, we have to get naked._

“Guys, come on,” Wanda said, coming up to the platform.“We can't just stand around here. You can just not look at one another, simple!”

Both Alistair and Atrina groaned softly. “You're not helping...”

Wanda rolled her eyes. “Look, we're all adults. So stop acting like children and take off your clothes!”

“Oooh, so forceful, Wanda! I love it,” Zevran said with a smirk as he started taking off his own weapons and armor.

Wanda followed suit in taking off her robes. Atrina sighed as she turned away from them. “For the arl, right?” she said as she started by taking her hair out of the braid. As she placed her hair tie on the altar, she caught the curious looks sent her way. “What? Better safe than sorry, right?”

Alistair stared at her a little longer before looking away with a small blush. “Right, better safe than sorry,” he mumbled as he pulled off his gloves.

It was quiet for the most part as everyone worked on undressing, the only sounds being made was the removing of their things. The cold air hit Atrina as she took off her armor and she shivered. “It's so cooold!” she said, hopping on one barefoot to the other.

“Move closer to the fire,” Alistair’s voice reached her from behind before she felt his hands lightly grasp her upper arms.

She tensed a little, but relaxed as he guided her closer to the wall of fire. _I think my body warmed up the moment he touched me..._ she thought, suspecting her face was red.

“That better?” he asked softly, causing her to glance back at him. He was down to his trousers, his mother's amulet glinting in the fire's light against his chest.

Her eyes moved up to his and she was greet with a smile as his cheeks were pink too. Returning the smile, she nodded. “Yeah, thanks.”

 _It's silly, we've changed in the same room before. Heck, we've seen each other in less,_ she thought taking a breath.

Alistair's hands were gone from her skin and he moved away from her. “Well, guess we better get finished then.”

Atrina nodded as they both looked away from each other at the same time. “Right.”

Forcing down her insecurities, she pulled off her tank top and slipped off her shorts, leaving her in her smallclothes. Glancing at the altar, she caught a glimpse of Alistair's pants being placed on it, causing her eyes to go straight forward. _I want to look sooo badly right now._ Quickly she tossed her stuff on part of the pile before slipping off her smallclothes.

Being naked in an ancient temple in front of others was not something she ever thought she'd have to do. Hugging her arms around herself, she tried to cover what she could, while avoiding looking up from the spot she found on the ground.

“We should probably take off our jewelry,” Wanda commented as she placed the ring Irving had given her on the altar before taking off the bracelet Zevran had bought her.

Atrina looked down at the ring on her finger. She never thought she would see it again, having lost it at one of her places of work, where no kind soul returned it. With a soft sigh she took it off and placed it on the altar before taking off the warden pendent that Alistair had given her back in Ostagar.

 _How long ago has that been now?_ she thought as she rubbed the griffin emblem carved into the metal. Smiling a little she placed the pendent next to the ring. Looking at the rest of the items on the altar she noticed Alistair's amulet and his ring with the faded symbol rested next to hers.

Looking forward once more, she raised her head up, turning her gaze to the Urn that stood atop of a platform. “We ready?” Feeling a larger hand grab hers she smiled as she gave it a squeeze.

“Final test.” Alistair squeezed her hand back.

Wanda grabbed her other hand. “Let's get the ashes.”

“If anything of mine is burned off, I blame you, Warden,” Zevran commented from the other side of Wanda.

Atrina laughed a little. “Well, if we did this right, we should be fine... right?”

“Right, on the count of three?” Wanda suggested.

“One...” Hands gripped tightly to each other.

“Two...” Eyes closed and deep breaths were taken.

“Three!” They each took a step through the fire and warmth engulfed them.

It grew hotter and hotter, but not painfully. Atrina could feel it on the inside of her, as if the fire was touching her very soul, cleaning it, purifying her.

The fire died down around them and she felt... better? Rejuvenated even. Better than she had in a long time.

“You have been through the trials of the Gauntlet,” the voice of the Guardian echoed as he appeared behind them, standing by the altar. “You have walked the path of Andraste, and like Her, you have been cleansed. You have proven yourself worthy, pilgrim.”

Covering herself again, Atrina turned to the Guardian, forcing her eyes to not glance around. “Oh, good... Can we put our things back on?”

The Guardian gave her an amused look. “Yes, and you may approach the Ashes.” The same bright light came from him once more, forcing them to turn away.

When they looked back they found their clothes had been magically put back on them. Atrina quickly pulled off her glove on her left hand before breathing a sigh of relief at seeing Sam's ring.

“Well... that was unexpected,” Alistair commented, looking as relieved as she felt to be back in their clothes.

Atrina noticed her hair tie was on her wrist and huffed a little. “Can put all of our clothes and weapons back on, but can’t rebraid my hair,” she grumbled as she started putting up in a quick high ponytail.

“Awe, I was hoping to see more of you two awkwardly avoiding looking at one another,” Zevran teased, earning glares. “What? No one said _I_ couldn't look.”

“Of all the--”

“Maker's breath--”

“Zevran!” Wanda scolded, earning a chuckle from the assassin.

“Come on, let's get the ashes and go already.” Atrina moved to the stairs and gazed up at the statue of Andraste. Taking a deep breath she walked up the steps and stopped before the Urn. Words exchanged around her from the others as she took a pinch of the ashes and placed them in a small pouch. Tying it tight she placed it in her pack and nodded to them. “All right, got it.”

Walking out of the temple Atrina let out an exhausted sigh. “Finally!” Looking up at the darkening sky she frowned. “Wow, it's only now evening?”

“Okay, let's go ahead and get to Redcliffe,” Wanda said as she walked backwards. “If we can go ahead and heal the arl then we can get some rest before Ozamma-- Ack!” Wanda stumbled backwards over a rock. Zevran and Atrina moved forward to grab her, but were too late.

As she fell back, her staff went flying, making contact with the gong. The four froze as the sound of the gong echoed around them just before the roar of a high dragon sounded from above.

“Uh-oh...”

“Oops...”

 

“They have been gone for quite some time...” Morrigan mumbled to herself as she watched for signs of Atrina and the other's return.

Wynne looked up as Genitivi focused on transcribing the ruins near the entrance and gave her knowing smile. “Hmm, worried about them, are you?”

Morrigan scoffed and folded her arms in front of her chest as she turned her back on the woman. “Don’t be absurd! I am sure it is all that dimwit's fault, probably somehow got them lost. With luck, maybe they were forced to leave him behind.”

Wynne shook her head as she chuckled lightly. “Oh, I am sure they're all right. They had plenty of potions— What in Andraste!?”

The group in question limped towards them, blood on their armor, cuts and bruises on their bodies, even Grunt limped a little with a soft whine.

“Wyyyynne, heeeelp,” Wanda called as Zevran leaned heavily against her.

“We got attacked by a dragon,” Atrina stated as she dropped to the ground.

“If _Wanda_ had been paying attention--”

Wanda glared at Alistair. “I said I was sorry! I forgot about the stupid gong!”

“Less arguing and more healing, yes?” Zevran asked, wincing.

Wynne bristled up as she moved to them. “Oooh, I have half a mind to let you heal naturally,” she stated as she healed them.

“You're so cruel with your threats, Wynne,” Atrina said with a pout.  

“Did you find it? The Urn of Andraste?” Genitive asked, limping towards them while leaning heavily on the makeshift crutch that been made for him.

Atrina nodded as she stood back up, looking better, but still moving stiffly. “Yes. Now we need to get to Redcliffe.”

Genitive immediately became excitable, talking about showing the ashes to the chantry and having all who believers be able to see the ashes.

“I hope the ashes are self replenishing,” Alistair commented.

No matter how much they insisted to Genitive that the ashes shouldn't be exploited, he would not listen.

“Okay, you know what? Fine, put the ashes on display, let people try to make profit off of them, have scams begin to form because of this. We have an arl to save and a Blight to stop,” Atrina stated as she walked past the brother and headed for the door.

“I- maybe you're right. The Maker might take offense to others possibly abusing the remains of His love— but I must tell the Chantry. Only they could truly know what should be done with the ashes,” Genitive said with a sigh, causing her to turn back.

 _Riiiight, because the chantry is totally not run by mortals that can fall to greed like the rest of us can, nope._ “Let's meet up with the others and figure out the next steps.”

 

The group separated into two and headed to their destinations. Atrina, Alistair, Wynne, Leliana, and Grunt head to Redcliffe, while Wanda, Zevran, Morrigan, and Sten headed towards Ozammar to make sure there isn't any trouble.

“When you get there, go talk to a red haired human by the name of Faryn, he has info on Sten's sword,” Atrina instructed Wanda before they parted.

“But isn't it--”

“It is, but it's easier this way. Just send me a letter telling me where to go, so I can bring Sten's sword.”

Wanda nodded. “Got'cha, that way it's not weird when you just show up with it.”

Atrina smiled. “Yep, now, be careful, okay?”

“Oh, I will be. We'll see you in Ozammar.”

By the time they entered the village of Redcliffe, it was full nighttime, but time was of the essence. They trekked their way to the castle, hearing someone send word to Teagan and Isolde that they had returned.

When they reached the castle doors, Teagan was waiting for them, looking as if he had rushed out of bed to greet them.

“You've returned! Does this mean--”

Atrina held up the leather pouch containing the ashes. “Andraste's ashes.”

His face brightened. “Wonderful! Let us go at once to Eamon's side and see if the Urn's healing powers live up to their reputation!”

Administering the ashes didn't take long, Eamon glowing slightly from the effects. Alistair let out a silent breath of relief, but Atrina noticed, her attention mostly being on him than the arl. He turned to her with a relieved and happy smile. “I can't believe it. We actually did it. He's... he's going to be all right.”

Atrina gave him a soft smile in return. “I knew it'd work out.”

Alistair look turned slightly curious. “How, though? How to you have such confidence?”

Her eyes widened slightly before she glanced away. “I... I just do.”

“Hmm, well, whenever you feel like telling me, I'll be here,” he said, giving her a knowing look when she met his gaze. “I know you well enough now, Atrina, I can tell when you're holding back.”

Her mouth twisted a little as she tried to stop the smile from coming out. “Oh, hush.”

He gave her a smug smile before Eamon called for their attention. Alistair's smile fell as Eamon seemed to eye him for a moment. Teagan was explaining what happened with Loghain and Jowan before everyone was excused from the room and told to meet in the main hall.

 _Here we go..._ Atrina thought, tensing as she knew what was to come. Looking at Alistair, she almost warned him, was ready to open her mouth...

But Eamon entered the room and it was too late.

Talks began; what could they do about Loghain? How could they beat him without losing men?

“We need someone with a stronger claim to throne than Loghain's daughter, the queen,” Eamon stated as his eyes were already on Alistair.

“Are you referring to Alistair, Brother? Are you certain?” Teagan asked, sounding genuinely surprised.

“I would not propose such a thing if we had an alternative,” Eamon stated, looking to Teagan for a moment. “But the unthinkable has occurred.”

All eyes turned to Alistair, who went rigid, a look of shock and horror on his face. Atrina quickly stepped in front of him, causing everyone to look down at her.

“What about you, Arl Eamon? Couldn't you be king? Or even Teagan?”

The older man gave her an exasperated look. “Teagan and I have a claim through marriage, but we would seem opportunists,” he explained. “No better than Loghain. Alistair's claim is by blood.”

“And what about me?” Alistair spoke up. “Do you not care about what I want?”

Atrina looked back at him in surprise. _That line... it's different._

“You have a responsibility, Alistair,” Eamon began, talking to him as if he was a child. “Without you, Loghain wins. I would have to support him, for the sake of Ferelden. Is that what you want?”

Alistair flinched and backed down. “I... but I... no, my lord.” He hung his head and looked away.

 _This is how it happens in the game,_ Atrina reminded herself, trying to keep her cool and not blow up at the arl. _You can still stop him from becoming king, you know this--_

“...What say you to that, my friend?” Eamon asked, knocking her out of her thoughts. Apparently she zoned out because she missed most of what was said, vaguely remembering him mentioning a landsmeet. “I do not wish to proceed without your blessing.”

Her head snapped up and her eyes went wide.  “M-my blessing?” Her heart pounded in her chest as she suddenly felt all eyes were on her. “Why would you need my blessing?”

The arl explained his reasons for wanting her blessing and for how this was the only choice that would ensure success for all of Ferelden, making her feel she couldn't argue. Out of everyone's eyes on her, the ones that bore into her like no other, were the ones belonging to the very Grey Warden, whose future was suddenly in her hands.

Staring at the ground, she willed her body not to shake as she gripped her hands into tight fists. Nothing came to mind to try and change things. Even knowing that these events would happen didn't make it any easier on her. _It's because I know Alistair now... This is harder than I ever thought possible... He absolutely_ hates _the idea of being king, but here I am, about to tell Eamon that I will support it..._

Taking a deep breath, she exhaled through her nose as she looked back up at the arl. “It... it seems we have little choice.” Her eyes turned to Alistair and her gaze softened. _I'll save you from becoming king, I promise._

“Very well, I will send out word...”

Everything else Eamon spoke of fell on deaf ears. It was only when he asked her what to do about Jowan did she start paying attention once more.

Atrina glanced at Jowan where he stood, waiting to be taken to the Circle. A sigh left her as she silently wished that Wanda was here for this. _I forgot about this part._ “I don't understand why you're asking me, but, like I told Teagan, he should be returned to the Circle. No matter what, his fate isn't a pretty one... ”

After Jowan had been sent back to the Circle with the templars, Eamon offered to let Atrina and the others stay for the night before they went out to continue gathering allies. “It is late, after all.”

“Thank you, your grace,” Atrina said as she bowed a little. “It has been a long journey.”

They were dismissed to the same rooms they had from their previous stay at the castle.

 

Atrina reclined onto her bed as she took one of the pillows and hugged it. She closed her eyes before rolling over onto her side and holding the pillow tightly to her chest.

 _This is it... this is happening... Eamon is awake and wanting Alistair to become king..._ she thought as she buried her face into her pillow. Grunt laid at the edge of the bed, glancing at her as she moped.

A knock on the door brought her out of her thoughts. It was late so it surprised her that someone was awake and wanting to talk.

 _Please don't be Teagan... He keeps trying to flirt with me and I'm just not in the mood._ Atrina got up with a small sigh. “Stay, Grunt,” she told him and he returned his head to the bed, resting.

Moving to the door she opened it. “Alistair?” she said in surprise at seeing him.

“I know it's late... but can... can I talk to you?” he asked, looking slightly panicked and hopeful.

Atrina stepped aside and let him into the room without a word. He gave her a grateful look before he stepped into her room. As she closed the door, he stood in the middle of the room, staring into the fireplace.

When she walked up to him he let out a hollow sounding chuckle. “I can't believe this...” he said before he started pacing the length of the room. “Eamon wants me to be _king_!”

Atrina kept silent as she watched him. She moved out of his way by sitting on the bed next to Grunt, hugging her pillow once more, while petting her canine in silence. As he continued to pace, her eyes remained on his feet, taking note he wasn't changing to another spot as he walked. “You're going to run a hole in the floor...” she teased softly, hoping to get him calm down a little.

He paused as he looked over at her. A sigh left him as he sat down in front of the fireplace. “Sorry... I just...” He ran his hands over his face.

Atrina stood up from the bed, motioning Grunt to stay, and moved to join Alistair. “I know... you were hoping he would try to take the throne, not have you be the runner up for it.”

His expression remained torn and upset. “What... what do you think I should do?” he asked as he looked at her, his eyes looking orange from the fire's light.

Her heart skipped a beat, but she just blinked at him. “Me?”

“Yes, I trust your opinion... While you told Eamon to go ahead, you don't want it either,” he said, giving her look that was a mix between knowing and hopeful. “And you always seem to have an idea of what to do...”

 _That's only because I've seen all this before... in more ways than one..._ she thought as she studied him. “I... I don't have any experience in this sort of thing...” she said as she looked away from him.

He took her hand in his, causing her to look back up at him. “That doesn't mean I don't want your thoughts on it.”

She stared at him before letting out a sigh. “I've told you once that I believe you'd make a great king.”

His eyes went wide and his grip on her hand tightened. “But I don't _want_ to be king...”

“I know...” She gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. “While I think you could do it, because you have a good heart,” she said, receiving a scoff and she rolled her eyes. “Not done,” she said, cutting off any comment. “You might be a great king, but I don't think you'd be happy.”

Another sigh left him as he looked away from her. “I don't think so either, but... it...” His hand squeezed hers tighter.

She rubbed her free hand on his forearm, helping him to relax. “There's still time before the landsmeet... We'll figure it out.”

He glanced at her. “You think so?” he asked as his thumb drew circles on the back of her hand, making her skin tingle. “I don't... I don't see a way out of this...” He looked away from her. “How am I supposed to be _king_? I'm no leader.”

Her heart ached for him. “I have faith,” she said as she thought of the landsmeet. “Don't give up... I told you once before that we would make sure you didn't have to be king. You say you trust me, so trust me now, okay? You won’t be king on my watch.”

He looked back at her and studied her as he thought over her words. “...All right.” He seemed to physically relax as he accepted her words.

She gave him a small smile, happy to see him looking less stressed. “Let's see about meeting up with the others in Ozammar, all right?” she asked, receiving a nod from him. Releasing his hand, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders in a hug, feeling he needed it. “We'll worry about the landsmeet when it's closer to time.”

She felt him immediately return the hug, his arms holding her tightly. He buries his face into her hair and breathed deeply.

Atrina closed her eyes as she enjoyed the hug. Rubbing her hand on his back she gripped him tighter. Silently she wished the hug could last forever. _He feels so warm... so safe._

But she knew it couldn't. When she started to pull away, Alistair's arms tightened around her, causing her to pause. At her curious look, Alistair looked away shyly for a moment.

“Let me...” he said softly before looking back at her. “Let me hold you? Just a little longer?”

Her heart skipped a beat as she looked up at him. With no words, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders once more, letting him hug her tightly. She rested her head against his shoulder as she stared into the fire that was slowly dying.

 _I'll do whatever it takes to give you freedom from being king, Alistair... I promise,_ she thought as she unconsciously hugged him tighter. _I want you to be happy._

“...You should get some sleep,” she whispered. “There's not much else that can be done tonight…”

He pulled slightly away from her, his eyes glancing at hers, before looking down at her lips. “Atrina...”

She felt her pulse quicken. Was he going to kiss her? She didn't think she could take it if he did. Any words she had were caught in her throat.

His eyes returned to hers before he looked away from her. “You're right... we have an early start tomorrow...” he said as he pulled away from her.

Atrina felt her body suddenly miss his warmth as he stood up. “Alistair--”

“I'll... I'll see you in the morning. Thank you,” he said, giving her a smile that didn't fully reach his eyes. Without another word he left her alone in the room.

Atrina stared at the door for a long moment almost praying he would come back. Looking away from the door, she turned back to the fire, while letting out a sigh. _And why would he kiss me? Last time he did that, I ran away..._

Without warning, tears started to fall from her eyes as she felt her heart lurch. She stood quickly from the ground and ran to the door. It wasn't until she was leaning against the door that she paused as her hand rested on the door handle.

 _Why does this hurt? Why does everything hurt? I love him, but I still feel I can't have him..._ She sobbed a little as she leaned her forehead against the wood. She placed her palm flat against the door, imagining Alistair being on the other side, doing the same.

 _If this is a dream, or a coma, or whatever... it's extremely cruel..._ she thought as she cried, slipping down to the floor. _I feel like such a fool..._

Hearing something shift from beyond the door, Atrina gasped as she sat up. She stayed silent as she stared at the door, listening for anymore sounds from the hall.

After a moment she heard footsteps moving away from the door. A mixture of relief and disappointment filled her.

Moving to stand, she let out a sigh, before hearing voices behind her door. She paused and listened in.

“Alistair? What are you still doing up?” Teagan's voice floated in from the hall.

“Um, couldn't sleep...” Alistair spoke so softly that Atrina almost missed his words.

 _He was at the door... He actually stayed at my door... Did he hear me?_ Atrina thought as her mind raced with unanswered questions.

“Ah, I see... because of what my brother has decided for you?” Teagan asked. No response was heard from Alistair, but it seemed to answer the older man's question. “I know this is difficult, but if it helps against Loghain--”

“Yes, I know. I just... I wish that he would have at least spoken to me privately first instead of announcing it like that in front of everyone...” Alistair answered with a sigh. “But I honestly don't want to talk about it right now, if you don't mind.”

“Not at all,” Teagan said before pausing. “So... were you hoping to talk to Atrina?”

Stifling a gasp, she felt her eyes grow wide at the sound of her name.

“Uh, yes, but it can wait til morning...” Alistair answered, his voice picking up slightly in speed.

“Hmm... do you... think she's asleep?”

Atrina's heart picked up in speed. _Teagan, stop talking to Alistair about me! Wanda, why did I have to send you to Ozammar? I need you here to interrupt!_

“Yes, I believe so.” Alistair's voice sounded slightly more tense than usual. “It's been a long day for all of us, so...”

 _He's lying... he knows I'm still awake..._ Atrina bit her lip as her heart pounded hard in her chest.

Teagan hummed slightly. “Pity... I was hoping to speak with her before she had retired for the evening,” he said, sounding disappointed. “I suppose it can wait. Goodnight, Alistair.”

“...Teagan,” Alistair called him back before pausing. “What is... what is your intent with her-- if you don't mind my asking.”

Atrina silently groaned and resisted banging her head on the door. _Alistair, just go to bed already! I can't take much more of this..._

“...I might mind, but I'll tell you if you tell me why you wish to know,” Teagan offered as his voice became slightly tense.

Alistair remained quiet for a moment, making Atrina's heart beat fast in anticipation. “Well, as a fellow Grey Warden... we have to look out for one another. And she is my friend, Teagan.”

“So... you two are _not_ together then?”

Atrina had to force herself not to pound her head on the door.

“Uh... No, we are not.” Alistair's voice was quieter than before, almost making Atrina miss hearing what he had said.

Her heart broke a little at how disappointed he sounded.

“...Though you wish you were?” Teagan asked with certainty in his tone.

“Just... just tell me what your intentions are, Teagan, please.” Alistair was tense once more as he spoke.

Teagan was quiet for a moment. “I simply wish to get to know her,” the Bann answered. “She is... an interesting woman...”

“That she is...” Alistair said softly in agreement.

Soon the men bid each other goodnight and Atrina found herself still stuck against the door. Staring into the darkness of the room, the fire long since going out, she shivered.

_Teagan wanted to talk to me... Maker, what could he want? I can’t deal with him right now. I can barely deal with myself._

She fiddled with the ring on her finger before looking down at it. Memories of that one moment with Sam came back to her.

_“You deserve happiness, 'Trina, and you can have that here.”_

Atrina clenched her eyes shut and stood from the ground. _What if you're wrong, Sam?_ she thought as she pushed herself off the door, the memory of Alistair and Teagan's voices becoming background noise in her mind. _I don't want to think about this anymore._ She changed into her night clothes and got in bed. Once she was settled under the covers she stared at the embers that were left of the fire.

More tears fell as her mind kept taking her back to every moment she had with Alistair. Hearing a soft whine, she felt Grunt shift on the bed, moving closer to her. He licked her hand before she wrapped her arms around him in a hug, her tears now falling into his fur. _Please, please make this stop hurting..._ she thought before sleep eventually took her.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise post! Ta-dah! Hi! :D  
> Okay, so, originally this chapter was going to be longer, BUT it was going on 17 pages (oops) and I wasn't done with it fully just yet, soooo, I located a good stopping point, so that way I don't feel rushed with the end of the next chapter :3  
> Thank you so much for being patient with me! It means a great deal, and receiving all your lovely comments means soooo much, thank you!
> 
> Oh and sorry for the feels at the end ^^' Fun place to stop, am I right? *runs away from spears*
> 
> One more thing, if you read this chapter and then noticed some slight changes, this is what happens when I edit a little late at night and then post it without fully rereading a part or two before. x'D sorry for confusion if there is any.


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